


Something New

by shherie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Absent Parents, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Anorexia, Crushes, Depression, First Love, First Relationship, High School, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Protectiveness, Traumatized Uchiha Sasuke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-04-04 20:02:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 95,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4151019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shherie/pseuds/shherie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"There it was again, tugging at his insides, that need, that dread. A pull, drawing in all of his focus, all his attention, to this one boy, who up until a week ago had been a complete stranger." </i> In which cocky man-whore Naruto finds himself falling for a broken, anorexic outcast, and for some inexplicable reason- and for the first time in his life- finds himself trying to get close to someone and keep them safe. Which, quite frankly, is something he sucks at. Queue angst, relationship drama, and just maybe a little bit of romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> **Trigger warning: anorexia, depression, mentions of self-harm and suicide. A whole mess of mental health issues for both our boys here, but especially Sasuke. I MAKE NO PROMISES OF A HAPPY ENDING!**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> This is quite a bit different than my usual fics so just a heads up for the very different writing style and Naruto's extra-dirty mouth and general whorish-ness...@_@
> 
> And a huge thank you to the marvelous [letsusura](http://letsusura.tumblr.com/) for the original prompt and the accompaning [image](http://letsusura.tumblr.com/post/120359364953/when-cocky-manwhore-nardo-finds-himself-falling)!!

**Naruto Fanfic: Something New (AU)**

“So you haven’t been having much luck this week, I hear,” said his god-awful councillor, tapping a pen against the side of his chair, staring over at him intently.

Naruto grinned, stretching his arms up behind his head and leaning back against the couch. “Oh, I’ve been having heaps of luck this week! Just wait until I tell you about this one guy-”

 “-that is not the kind of luck I was talking about,” the councillor interrupted, his irritated gaze scanning over Naruto’s slouched position on the couch. “And I believed we’ve already discussed the dress-code.”

Naruto’s grin widened. It wasn’t _his_ fault his shirt kept riding up. It’s not like he was doing it on _purpose_. It’s not like he was forcing the man to look. He should just keep those pretty brown eyes to himself if it really bothered him.

He pushed himself off the back of the couch and leaned forward towards the guy’s chair in one smooth motion. “Hey, do you want to hear a joke?” he said, lowering his voice.

“We only have three more sessions allocated,” the councillor said to him with a sigh. “I don’t believe we’ve made much progress, unfortunately.”

Eh, yes, very unfortunate. This guy was just so _uptight_ , and it was a pity. He wasn’t all that bad-looking, and Naruto was pretty open-minded, after all; don’t go after the straight ones, people always said, they suck in bed. But hey, you had to give people a chance. They might surprise you.

“Well, maybe it’s not really a joke, as such,” Naruto went on, slipping off his jacket. “Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Anyway, I thought this one was pretty funny-”

His councillor sure was gripping that pen of his hard. Oh, was his tank-top too revealing? As if this guy hadn’t turned up the heating on purpose. That was a pretty sneaky trick, though it was also a very useful one, he’d used it a few times himself. Well, he wasn’t wearing anything under these jeans, so. That could be fun.

“Mr. Uzumaki,” the guy said, leaning forward. “I must insist-”

“No need to be so formal,” Naruto said. “Anyway, it starts off with, I’ll bet you work at a chicken farm-”

“If you’re not going to take this seriously, then I’m afraid I’ll have to-”

“-because you sure do know how to raise a cock-”

And then next thing Naruto knew, he was being thrown out of the guy’s office without any warning whatsoever. He pouted. His jacket was still in there. Honestly, it was just a _joke_.

He sighed. Some guys were just way too uptight. But he’d seen this one spending his lunch break at that café down the street, maybe Naruto would stop by some time.

Naruto sauntered over to the reception desk. “Hey, so, I guess I need a new councillor,” he said to the pretty blonde behind the counter. What was his name? Mmm…he couldn’t remember. It might come to him, later.

The blonde peered back at him from behind his computer. “That was the last one, Naruto,” he said with a grin. “Strike out, did you? I told you there was no way you’d get him.”

Naruto threw him a sulky frown. “I haven’t struck out yet,” he insisted. “Not everyone’s as easy as _you_.”

The blonde laughed. “You’re still required to complete another three sessions, though. Hmm…there’s a new girl starting next week.”

“A girl?” Naruto said, wrinkling his nose. “Oh well. Sign me up.”

The door behind him opened and Naruto whipped around, thinking it must be his councillor- sorry, _ex_ -councillor, emerging from his lair.

Ah, no, that’s not the uptight brunette with the surprisingly built body. That’s a pretty little raven, with a very un-built body. One might even call him _slender_. Hmm.

“Oi, who’s that,” he murmured to the receptionist.

“Confidentiality, Naruto,” the receptionist said. “I do have some rules I follow, you know.”

“Sure you do,” Naruto said back, looking away from him, hoping to catch the other’s eye. He was new. He was lovely. _Just look at that hair,_ Naruto thought to himself, wondering if it was as soft as it looked.

The pretty raven glanced over at them briefly as he crossed the room towards the exit. Looks like he wasn’t coming over to check in with the receptionist before he left. That wouldn’t do.

Naruto turned away and leant over the top of the counter, knowing full well the view that would give the other boy, and reached down to tug the receptionist towards him by his shirt. Ignoring his squeak of surprise, he pulled the blonde forward to place a soft, lingering kiss on his lips, nibbling his bottom lip ever-so-gently before letting him go.

“ _Naruto_!” the blonde hissed as he fell back on his chair. “Not while I’m at work!”

He giggled, and turned around. Ah, success, he was being watched. The dark-haired boy was staring back at him, arms folded across his chest. Er, well, he looked rather un-impressed. And then he turned and left.

Naruto sighed. If he followed him now, it meant leaving his jacket behind in that guy’s office, but, there was something in the boy’s eyes-

“See ya next time,” he said to the receptionist, rushing out the door behind his next target. He was gorgeous, and he was new, _and that means he’ll be mine._

_***_

So it turned out blondie did have some principals after all; no matter how hard Naruto tried, he just couldn’t pry the name of that dark-hard beauty out of him. He hadn’t budged an _inch_ , even when Naruto did that thing with his tongue, and _that_ was reserved for special occasions exclusively. What a _waste_.

If only he’d caught him that day! But he’d disappeared into thin air, and Naruto hadn’t stopped thinking about him since. It was _maddening_.

Fucking a name out of blondie hadn’t worked, so Naruto had taken to stopping by the clinic each day after school and hanging out in the waiting room. This wasn’t the kind of place people came to just once; the lovely raven would be back, and Naruto would be here, ready.

It took a week, but it finally happened. He walked into the clinic and there he was, sitting there across the room, absorbed in a book. Naruto froze, and actually felt his pulse start to race. Just from _looking_ at him? What the fuck was happening to him?!

 _Get your head in the game you pansy_ , Naruto told himself. _Get a name and a phone number and get the hell out._ Should be easy, right?

He took a deep breath and attempted to cross the room casually, ignoring the knowing stares of blondie behind the desk. This was his moment; he had earned this. Settling into the next seat, he glanced over at the dark-haired boy- no, scratch that; he down-right _stared_ , running his eyes down the length of his slim body from top to toe.

Had he been this good-looking last week?! He was _gorgeous_. And it wasn’t just his hair, which close-up looked even softer and more tug-able than before, properly long enough for Naruto to tangle his fingers through. Yeah okay, so he had a thing for hair, so what? And his skin, so pale it was almost translucent- and oh, wow, his _eyes_.

Damn, people should not be this beautiful. Yes, it was maddening. …especially since the boy was completely, utterly, _ignoring_ him.

There’s no way he hadn’t noticed Naruto sitting down next to him. What the _hell_? People just didn’t ignore Naruto. It wasn’t _done_.

Fine, next step. He cleared his throat and eased over towards him, leaning on the armrest between them. “…hi,” Naruto purred. “What’re you in for?”

And eventually, _finally_ , the raven looked at him, giving him the briefest of glances before turning back to his book.

The game was on.

“Prison humour, you know,” Naruto added, undeterred.

The boy sighed, and shifted in his seat to rest on the other side, away from Naruto. Ouch.

That must have been one amazing book, the way he was staring at it. As if a book could compete with _him_. But hell, it wasn’t even in _English_ \- it was just covered in some scrawling, scratchy lines, completely undecipherable. And he wasn’t pretending to read, as far as Naruto could tell, from the way his eyes were moving across the page, steady and intent.

Oh, his _eyes_. So dark they were almost black, and with lashes for days. This boy was a _marvel._

“What language is that?” Naruto asked. “Chinese?”

Those dark eyes flicked back to him, and narrowed. “…Japanese,” he murmured, in a voice deeper than Naruto would have expected.

Victory! He speaks!

Naruto grinned. _Got you,_ he thought. “And you can really read that?”

“… _obviously_ ,” the boy snapped in annoyance. “I’m reading it, aren’t I?”

Naruto bit back a retort. Okay, the kitten had some bite. That was fine. That was _good_. And hey, he was smart. It was kinda a turn-on, actually. He didn’t usually go for smart. But variety was the spice of life, as they say!

Time to turn this up a notch. “So what’s your name?” he asked, leaning further over towards his target, and slipping off his jacket as he did so. He let it fall to the floor between their feet.

The boy just sighed and shifted again, closed his book, and _glared_ at him.

… _shit_ , if Naruto hadn’t been attracted to him before, he sure as hell was _now_! Those dark eyes were _burning_ underneath his lashes!

“Not gonna tell me?” he went on, more determined than ever.

“Why should I?” the boy hissed at him. He turned his face to glare at the receptionist, who was still staring at them both, and then turned his scowl back on Naruto.

Naruto retreated back to the other side of the chair, fidgeting, and wilting under the raven’s eyes of judgement. The boy was so slim and tiny, Naruto probably could have thrown him over his shoulder easily, and yet there was such a smouldering intensity in his eyes that for a moment, he was truly intimidated. “Ah, so, you _do_ remember me,” he managed to squeak out.

The boy slipped his book into his bag and prepared to get up. Naruto stared to panic. No! He’d already waited a week, he would _die_ without some kind of victory!

“…come on, just tell me your name!” he said, a slight hint of pleading coming into his voice.

“Sasuke,” called a voice from across the room. “Shall we get started?”

Naruto blinked. Was that it? Was that his name?!

Oh yes, it _was_! The dark-haired beauty named Sasuke threw him one more withering stare before standing up and moving away from him.

_…Sasuke…_

Naruto was stunned. …that had not gone according to plan. This kind of thing just didn’t happen to him! He bit back a groan and fell back on the seat, but kept his eyes wide open and watched the slender, beautiful boy float away until he’d disappeared through his councillor’s door.

 _…shit_ , he thought to himself. _I am so fucked._

***

Naruto dragged himself home to his apartment. He was not the kind of guy who just struck out. And hey, his ex-councillor didn’t count, alright? Naruto had just gotten too bored of him. And yeah, to be fair, he had wasted a lot of time when he was younger going after the wrong kinds of boys. Straight ones. Smart ones. Ones with families and future career plans and all that shit. They were a complete waste of time, though with the skills he had now, if he went back in time, he was sure he could-

He sighed. But anyway.  Here was this heavenly, gorgeous, feisty boy he’d spent a grand total of five minutes with, he was _hooked_ , and he’d been soundly rejected.

He pushed open his front door, dumping his bag down and wandering into the kitchen. “I’m home,” he murmured to Sai, who was standing in front of the oven wearing that ridiculous fluffy apron Naruto had bought him without any embarrassment, as usual.

Sai took one look at him and narrowed his eyes. “What’s that expression on your face?” he asked. “That’s new.”

“Ah, well, this is called _defeat_ ,” he muttered, falling into a chair at the kitchen table.

“You still can’t find your dream boy?” Sai asked, pulling a pair of plates out of a cupboard.

“I found him. Didn’t do any good. I found out his name, though.”

“I have to work tonight,” Sai said, bringing over their dinner. “So if you want to talk about it-”

“-ah, no, it’s fine,” he said. “Um, what’s this…?” he asked, looking down at his plate dubiously, and then looking over to the bench to see which cookbook Sai was re-creating this week.

“It’s called ‘chicken cordon-bleu’. We didn’t have any chicken, but we had some fish, so-”

“Ah, okay, looks great, thanks babe,” he said, digging in before Sai could continue. “Anyway I’ll probably be out late myself so don’t worry about it.”

“Going out for some anonymous sex?” Sai asked, with his usual blank expression.

Naruto coughed and sputtered, and turned bright red. Of course there was no point feeling _shame_ in front of Sai- it wasn’t an emotion he understood. “Ah, yeah, something like that,” he mumbled, and resumed eating.

“I won’t be back until tomorrow night,” Sai told him.

Naruto knew better than to ask what he was up to tonight. It was enough that he eared great money doing it, and was more than willing to use that money to support them both, in accordance with the rules of ‘best friends for life’ as Naruto had explained them to him. So Naruto didn’t have to work, he just had to go to school.

You might even call them dream roommates, since Sai’s cooking would probably destroy anyone else, he thought to himself as he finished his dinner. _Ah, but he tries so hard_ , he thought with a fond grin.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Sai said to him later on as he was leaving.

“Have fun,” Naruto said with a wave, finishing the washing up.

Once Sai was gone he let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head, trying to shake off images of the pretty raven. _No, it’s **Sasuke** ,_ he thought. He wiped his hands and then flopped down onto the couch, taking out his phone to flip through his contacts. He could probably do a little better than _anonymous sex_ tonight. Hmm, who hadn’t he pissed off lately…ah, but it was just so much _work_.

He dropped his phone down and stared up the roof, thinking about how Sasuke had been so absorbed in that book. Naruto had never understood the appeal himself, though he wasn’t above reading a magazine or two, maybe some comics, if he was really bored, and if they had naked men in them. Naruto thought back to the way Sasuke’s eyes had taken in the words on the page, steadily moving from left to right and then down, his eyelashes moving softly, his gaze so focused and intent.

He imagined what it would be like to be thing the dark-haired beauty was so focused on. If he was here right now, sitting on top of him, settled onto his hips; his eyes running over his body, taking in the sight of him. Naruto felt himself blushing red again. _Really, Naruto? Snap out of it._

But then again. Remember his hands? Oh, so pretty. Those long, elegant fingers, unbuttoning Naruto’s shirt and pushing it aside, a faint hint of impatience that he was trying to hide; tracing his hands down the side of his face, across his throat, down his chest. Dark eyes burning as he slowly, reverently, slid down the zipper of Naruto’s jeans.

Damn, he was panting. It didn’t matter that the Sasuke on top of him was completely imaginary. Naruto was responding to him anyway. **_Really_** _, though? Right here?_

 _Oh, fuck it_. He didn’t feel like going out tonight anyway. He shrugged off his jacket and slipped his jeans over his hips, groaning softly as the rough fabric ran over his already-hardening length. He reached under the couch cushions for his stash of lube. Hey, don’t judge, just _try_ it, Naruto had lube and things hidden all over this apartment and it was very convenient, and Sai couldn’t care less so why should anyone else?

He bit back a groan as the cold liquid hit his cock; he ran both hands up and down himself quickly, but gently, just warming up. Would Sasuke know what to do? Well, the Sasuke above him now sure did, breathing softly as he traced his fingers from the top of Naruto’s cock down to the base and up again, licking his lips as he ran a thumb back and forth across the tip.

 _What the fuck is wrong with you_ , he said to himself; there’s any number of pretty and pale boys you could have on top you right now. Ah, no, but no-one was as pretty as Sasuke. No-one else had those eyes burning right through him, that scowl, that judgement, that withering stare setting him on fire.

Naruto moaned and gripped himself tighter as the thought sent another jolt of pleasure running through him. And suddenly the image floated away as he felt a wave of frustration, of _annoyance_ , at himself for failing to entice the boy. With one firm hand running up and down his cock and the other gripping the head, he panted and gasped for air, rubbing faster, harder now, _let’s just get this done_ , there was no point in it all, Sasuke hadn’t been interested.

He let out a groan as he came into his hands and fell back onto the couch, squeezing his eyes shut and stroking himself softly as his muscles unclenched and his pulse came back down to normal.

 _...that was sick, Naruto,_ he told himself, so sternly that he suddenly started laughing. Oh, yeah, maybe, but it had felt _good_. He took off his shirt and used it to clean himself up, then slipped his jeans back on and rolled onto his stomach, cuddling into the couch and enjoying his post-orgasm high.

On the floor beside him his phone lit up and vibrated with a message, and he leaned over to read it. _Coming out tonight? –Dan_ , it read. Who the hell was Dan?

 _Not Sasuke_ , he thought, and that was really all that mattered.

_…I am beyond pathetic._

***

Yeah, it was pathetic, but Naruto just couldn’t get him out of his head. All that night and the next morning, and _especially_ in the shower before school, he was thinking about Sasuke. About his hair. About his pretty pale skin and eyelashes. About his slim waist and hips, and the line of his back and legs as he walked away from him.

 _Oh god, I fucking hate myself for this_ , he thought to himself. At least the distraction wouldn’t interfere with his schoolwork; his grades couldn’t get much worse anyway. He daydreamed his way through his morning classes, running over every detail he could remember of his _‘dream boy’_ , as Sai had put it, until by lunchtime he had convinced himself he was in love.

“I’m in love,” he whined to Ino as she sat down at the table next to him.

“Congratulations,” she growled at him, slamming her lunch down. “I’m about to burn this whole school down!”

He sighed. “Okay, you win. What’s wrong?”

“I’m fucking sick of this high school crap, that’s what,” she hissed, her hands curled up into tight fists and her cheeks turning red in fury. “You know that new girl?”

Hmm…oh, right. “Pinkie?” he asked. “The one you’re crushing on?”

“I am _not_ ,” she growled. “She’s totally weird. And she’s a _pushover_. She made it way too easy for those guys-”

“What guys?” he interrupted.

“You know, Sasori and his crew. They took her phone and said they were gonna hack it, and post her texts and pics all over the internet.”

“Ah, _that_ high school crap,” he said with a wince. “But as if those guys could hack _anything_.”

“Well, she obviously thought they could, she was a total mess, crying in the change rooms.”

Naruto nodded, with a knowing expression on his face. “And so you went to comfort her, and then-”

“-I did _not_!” Ino declared. “I am just so _over_ this place!”

“Yeah, well, me too,” he said. “Turn around. Have you got a brush?”

She sighed. “I don’t think you’re taking me seriously,” she grumbled, pulling a comb out of her bag and undoing her hair.

Naruto grinned and starting playing with her long blonde hair. “Don’t you want to hear about _my_ problems now?” he teased.

“I highly doubt you’re in love. You don’t _do_ love,” she said, starting to eat her lunch.

“Well, maybe I do now!” he retorted, starting to braid her hair. “He’s _gorgeous_. You’d probably fall for him yourself. His name is Sasuke-”

“ _What_?!” she shrieked, pulling away from him and whipping around. “Sasuke _Uchiha_?!”

He blinked. “Uh. I don’t know?” Wait, wait, did she _know_ him??

“Dark hair. About our age. Freakishly skinny-”

 _Oh my god._ “That’s the one,” he said, feeling his pulse start to race. “You know who he is?? Tell me!”

She frowned. “He’s in my calculus class-”

“ _Wait_ , he goes to this school? Are you _kidding_ me?? As if I wouldn’t have noticed him before!” He started looking around him wildly, as if he might appear at any moment.

“He’s hardly ever here. Naruto, you need to be careful-”

“-and I wouldn’t say he’s _freakishly_ skinny, that’s a bit mean, you know,” he grumbled

“Well, his kind hide it pretty well.” She grabbed onto his hands and brought her face closer to his. “Naruto, listen to me-”

“Hey, Ino, what do you mean _his kind_?” he asked with a frown. That was even meaner.

She gave him a _look_. “Where did you even meet him?”

…oh. _Oh_. “So, wait, what are you saying? That he’s- um…?”

“Look, I don’t know, I’m just guessing but yeah, he’s probably anorexic or something.”

What did that even _mean_? “You mean like where you throw up all the time?”

She narrowed her eyes and scoffed. “That’s bulimia, Naruto, honestly. Look, forget I said anything, all I’m saying is just be careful-”

“When am I not careful?” he said with a pout. His big declaration of love was not going as planned. Ino should be _happy_ for him. Sasuke turning out to be a student here should be a _good_ thing.

“Oh, sweetie,” she said. “Let’s just hang on until we’re out of this place, okay? The real world has to be better than this.”

***

By the end of the day, Naruto was _exhausted_. He kept looking around him everywhere he went, convinced Sasuke would just magically appear somewhere. But maybe it wasn’t the same Sasuke. As if it _could_ be! Yeah, sure, ‘Sasuke’ wasn’t exactly a common name, but if he really was a student at this school, there’s _no way_ Naruto wouldn’t have noticed him. No way.

And…and Ino had said all that…stuff about him. Sasuke wasn’t that kind of guy, Naruto could tell.

Um, well, he _thought_ he could tell. Maybe. But hey, there were heaps of reasons why someone might be at a mental-health clinic, right? Naruto went there, and there wasn’t anything wrong with _him_.

Classes finally ended and Naruto made his was out of school, dragging his feet, pushing his way through the swarms of hyper teenagers. God, he really did hate this place. But he had to graduate, it was part of the deal.

He headed towards the parking lot to take his short-cut home, and the crowd thinned. He contemplated stopping by the clinic. Sasuke probably wouldn’t be there two days in a row, but he _might_ be. Or maybe he should go home and take a nap. Maybe a nap with a happy ending.

As he rounded the building he saw a line of guys smoking. Naruto was trying to quit himself, the coughing was really unattractive, and- _hey, wait. It’s that guy_. Sasori. He narrowed his eyes and stopped walking, feeling his adrenalin start to spike. _Oh my god, don’t do it_ , he told himself.

 _…no, I’m gonna do it. I’m really gonna do it._ He could already feel his muscles tensing up. It had been _way_ too long.

He dumped his bag down and sauntered over to them, making a quick note of how many there were. No problem.

“Hey, look, it’s the orphan,” one of them called as he approached.

He ignored that, and stalked straight over to the red-head. “I heard you took the new girl’s phone,” he said, voice calm and level.

Sasori threw away his smoke and stared back at him. “You wanna see her nudes?” he said. “She acts like a mouse, but those kinds of girls, you know, underneath-”

“I’m taking the whole phone back,” Naruto interrupted. “Hand it over.”

He scoffed, and his two friends laughed. “Is she paying you?”

“No,” Naruto said, “but I figured you’d say no, and it would give me the chance to beat the shit out of someone.” Honesty was a great policy, and one he always tried to stick to.

One of his friends, a ratty-looking blonde, stepped in between them. “Hey, asswipe, you can just fuck off-”

Naruto moved swiftly towards the blonde, grabbing his right arm and pushing him forward straight into the brick wall, pinning his arm behind him. “Just try something,” Naruto hissed into his face. “ _Please_.”

“Hey, what the _fuck_ -” Sasori growled, placing his hand on Naruto’s shoulder.

Naruto kneed the blonde hard in the stomach and, once he’d slipped down the wall, spun around and punched the red-head in the gut so fast, he was still mid-sentence when he crumpled to the floor.

The third boy gaped at him and took a step back, hands raised. That made Naruto grin. “Leave,” he said to him, “and take that one with you.”

“Hey-” squeaked Sasori from the ground.

“Shut it,” Naruto said, turning around to pull the blonde up and push him towards his friend.

Wide-eyed, they both turned tail and rushed off, barely glancing at their friend on the ground. _Wimps_ , he thought.

“So,” said Naruto, looking down. “Do you want to give me the phone now, or do you wanna give me some more practice? It’s been a while, but I think I could probably show you a few things.”

Sasori glared up at him, and pushed himself to his feet, wobbling a little. “Look,” he said. “You should have just offered to pay me. But now-”

Naruto made to move towards him, and Sasori reacted straight away, stepping away from him and closer to the wall. Big mistake. Naruto feinted left and then rushed towards him, forcing him right up against the wall and shooting his arm out to circle his hand around Sasori’s neck.

“Listen,” he hissed, slowly raising his arm and forcing Sasori up onto his toes. “Give me the phone now, or I’ll rip your balls off-”

“Shove it,” Sasori spat, his voice barely more than a harsh whisper.

“-and stick them so far down your throat, they’ll be calling you _deep-throat_ for the rest of your life.”

Sasori’s hands were clawing at Naruto’s skin, but there was no way he was escaping Naruto’s grasp; he had really strong arms. It wasn’t bragging, it was just the truth. With the blonde still glaring at him and making no effort to speak, Naruto lifted him higher until his feet were dangling.

“Tell me where it is,” Naruto hissed. “ _Now_.”

Sasori started gasping and panting for air. “Okay, okay!” he forced out.

Naruto lowered his arms and loosened his grip, but didn’t let go. “Where is it?” he demanded.

“Pocket,” Sasori squeaked out.

Naruto quickly examined the guy’s pocket with his left hand while keeping his right tightly around his throat. He soon found a pink phone that probably wasn’t Sasori’s; he slipped it into his own pocket and then, taking a step away from the wall, let go.

Sasori slumped against the wall and glared daggers at him.

Naruto just gave him a bright smile. “Thanks!” he beamed. “I really appreciate it!”

“Listen, you fucker-”

“-yeah, yeah, love you too, I’ll see you later!” he said, giving him a quick wave before moving smoothly but swiftly away, picking up his bag as he went.

Oh, that felt _great_. He didn’t feel good about feeling that way, but sometimes you just had to let it out, you know?

Then he turned a corner and ran straight into Sasuke.

…and he was looking even more unimpressed than ever.

He froze. _Shit! He didn’t see that, did he??_

…uh, apparently he _did_. Arms folded across his chest, he ran his eyes down from Naruto’s face to his hands.

“Sasuke,” he mumbled. “Uh, hey, so, about that-”

Sasuke turned and started walking away.

_No!_

“Hey wait, Sasuke!” He rushed to catch up and slipped in front of him, reaching out to grab his wrist.

“Let me _go_ ,” the dark-haired boy growled, trying to wrench his arm away, eyes narrowed and burning. “ _Now_.”

Naruto snatched his hand away and then held both arms up in front of him. “Ah, shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

Sasuke looked away and took a step forward.

Naruto moved in front of him, blocking his escape. “No, wait! I just want to-”

“-to _what_?” Sasuke interrupted, glaring at him. “What do you _want_ from me?! I know you were coming to the clinic every day-”

“Ah, well, about that-” Naruto squeaked out, wilting under his stare. “I- hey, are you okay?!”

Sasuke had suddenly turned even whiter than he usually was, and stumbled when he tried to take a step forward.

“Just stay away from me-” he managed to get out, before falling forward in a dead faint.

“Sasuke!” Naruto cried out, rushing forward to catch him before he hit the ground. “ _Sasuke_?!”

***


	2. Chapter Two

Naruto wasn’t exactly sure _why_ Sasuke had passed out, but he was pretty sure it was _his_ fault. _I am the worst person in the world_ , he thought to himself as he sat next to the bed starting down at the dark-haired, frail boy. Naruto must have- scared him, or something, he didn’t know, but people didn’t just faint for no reason, did they?

And the school nurse had given him a pretty dirty look when Naruto had showed up with Sasuke in his arms, although to be fair she also didn’t look too pleased to see who he was carrying, and that really pissed him off. Yeah sure it was after 3:30, _but this is your job lady_! _So you better take damn good care of him._

And then she’d tried to make him leave but that clearly wasn’t going to happen, no way lady. Naruto had quickly pulled up a chair and settled in next to Sasuke’s side, and it was pretty difficult to get rid of him once he set his mind on something. So she’d given up and gone off into the next room to make a phone call, and they were alone.

He was alone, with Sasuke. Who was unconscious.

_Sasuke…_

His already pale skin was now as white as the sheets he was laying on, and he had dark circles under his eyes. And with those eyes closed and not burning into him, it was like Naruto could properly take in the sight of him for the first time; look as much as he wanted. He was beautiful. And yet.

…those cheekbones of his, which Naruto had so admired from the instant they’d met, well, they were a _little_ prominent, _maybe_ unnaturally so.

Naruto ran his eyes lower, down Sasuke’s neck and his arms to his wrists. Yeah, he _was_ skinny, so what? Naruto could tell that he was slimly-built anyway. Some people were just skinny, okay? He had a very clear image of those narrow shoulders and hips, walking away from him across the clinic.

 _His kind hide it pretty well_ , Ino had said. What did that even mean? How could you hide being “freakishly skinny”?

The nurse had drawn the sheet up to his chin, so Naruto couldn’t see his chest, but he could see his arms. He was wearing a tight-ish long-sleeved shirt and a loose t-shirt over that. Naruto bit his lip and scooted closer to the bed. He had to know. He took a quick look around the room to make sure they were alone, and then reached out to gently place his hand on Sasuke’s wrist.

He hadn’t noticed before, when he’d grabbed him to stop him from leaving. But yeah. Sasuke had very, very tiny wrists. Naruto could almost close his hand all the way around it. But hey, maybe Naruto just had big hands. …or maybe…

He traced a finger softly around Sasuke’s wrist, feeling something tug deep inside him, some kind of need, some kind of _dread_. His breathing hitched in his throat when he ran his finger down to the bare skin of Sasuke’s hand, so soft, so _cold_.

Sasuke made a tiny, troubled noise in his sleep and Naruto snatched his hand away and whipped his head around to see if he was waking. He was frowning, and his eyelids were fluttering slightly, but he didn’t wake.

Naruto took a deep breath and sat back in his chair, trying to still his racing pulse. _Seriously, don’t go around touching unconscious people, what the fuck is wrong with you??_

Oh, so much was wrong with him. God, look at that hair. So dark, so soft-looking, tangled, wild. He wanted to touch it. He really, really wanted to touch it. He was scooting closer, he was reaching out- _what are you doing??_ screamed his (admittedly very undeveloped) internal conscience.

Then Sasuke’s eyes fluttered open, and all of a sudden he was staring up at Naruto, and Naruto froze. _Shit, shit!!_

“Sasuke!” he called, wrenching his hand back. “Sasuke, are you okay?!”

Sasuke gazed back at him, expression blank, and he narrowed his eyes.

 _He doesn’t even know my name,_ Naruto thought. _He doesn’t know who I am, and here I am with my face thirty centimetres away from his._

“Sa- Sasuke?” he breathed, softly, as they stared at each other, and the seconds ticked by in silence, a deafening silence. Naruto could hear the blood rushing in his ears as he stared into those eyes, darker than coal.

There it was again, tugging at his insides, that need, that dread. A pull, drawing in all of his focus, all his attention, to this one boy, who up until a week ago had been a complete stranger.

And then a flicker of recognition ran over Sasuke’s face, and that blank expression became a glare.

Naruto sighed, and moved away from the bed, sitting back down in his chair. “Hey, Sasuke,” he said. “Are you okay-”

“Sasuke!” a voice called, and into the room rushed a dark-haired man in hospital scrubs. He hurried to Sasuke’s side, frowning deeply, and reached down to place his hand on Sasuke’s forehead.

Sasuke flinched noticeably. “Itachi,” he said, his voice weak and scratchy. “…I’m fine, really.”

He had the same pale skin as Sasuke, and those same eyes. He was young, though. _Sasuke’s brother…?_ He was obviously a doctor at the hospital around the corner. Naruto had been there enough times to recognize the uniform.

_Is that why he looks so familiar? Is that why he’s looking at me like he knows me?_

Naruto stood up and the chair squeaked loudly on the tiled floor. “Uh, hi,” he said. “I, uh, um, Sasuke just fainted all of a sudden, so I-”

And then they were both looking at him with identical, judgemental, _burning_ glares.

_Oh my god._

“…um,” he stuttered. “I-”

“Naruto Uzumaki,” said Sasuke’s brother in a flat voice. “Imagine seeing you here.”

_Oh, shit!! He knows my name! How the hell does he know my name!!_

“…ah, yeah, well, I was just leaving so-” He picked up his bag and took a few steps back, trying not to stumble over the chair.

“An excellent idea,” the man named Itachi said, his voice still flat and lifeless. _Holy shit, that’s fucking terrifying!_

“Okay, so, feel better soon alright, Sasuke?” he forced out, and then turned tail and ran.

_How does he know who I am?? Why does he look so familiar??_

There was usually only one reason that attractive men looked familiar to Naruto, and it made his stomach clench and his head whirl in a sudden panic.

_Oh god, please don’t tell me I fucked Sasuke’s brother!_

***

Naruto would be the first to admit that he slept around, maybe a little _too_ much- but then again, what was ‘too much’? After all, he was eighteen, and he didn’t have any parents around to suck the fun out of life- so why shouldn’t he enjoy himself? And if he just happened to have a talent for it, and if boys just loved getting Naruto into bed, who was he to deny both himself and them of that?

But okay, it _did_ bother him that he couldn’t remember if he’d had sex with Sasuke’s extremely attractive older brother. It bothered him a _lot_ , and it got him wondering just how things had turned out this way, that he’d been with so many men that he couldn’t even see all their faces clearly in his mind.

“Ino,” he whined, slumped over on top of the table. “…am I a whore?”

“Yes,” she said, not looking away from her phone.

He groaned, and pushed away his lunch, all appetite gone. “That’s so mean!”

She glanced over at him and shrugged. “Hey, I didn’t say it was a _bad_ thing.”

“It usually is,” he retorted, sulking into the table.

And the way Sasuke’s brother- Itachi- had looked at him. He shivered. So cold. Oh yes, he had known who Naruto was, and he hadn’t been pleased to see him with Sasuke. So there was yet another barrier between him and his dream boy. It wasn’t _fair_. All Naruto wanted to do was _talk_ to him. Maybe stare at him some more. …maybe play with his hair as well. Okay, okay, he wanted to fuck him into the ground, so what? Maybe make him scream and moan a little.

…but that wasn’t _all_ he wanted from Sasuke, and that made Sasuke special. It made him _unique_.

“This is about that Uchiha boy,” said Ino, putting away her phone and reaching out to ruffle his hair. “This isn’t like you, Naruto. It isn’t healthy. Snap out of it.”

He sighed, and pushed himself up off the top of the table and frowned over at her.

“I can’t help it,” he said with a pout.

“Yeah, well, I don’t get it. Have you even ever dated someone before?”

He hesitated. “What counts as dating?”

She rolled her eyes. “Okay, well, dating is seeing the same person on more than one occasion. Romantically. You and I don’t count, moron.”

He thought about it for a moment. On more than one occasion, hey? “Oh, sure, I’ve done that,” he said, somewhat relieved.

“…for activities other than just sex,” Ino added.

…ah, well. That was different. He pouted some more.

“You’ve barely spent any time with him, and you’re hooked,” Ino went on. “What’s the deal?”

“I shouldn’t have to explain love at first sight,” he grumbled, staring away from her.

She groaned. “There you go again! Love?? How is it _love_? You just want to bone him, and he won’t let you. It’s the chase.”

Ohh, that was _so_ unfair! Admittedly, Naruto _had_ felt a very strong physical attraction to Sasuke from the moment he’d laid eyes on him in the clinic, and there were plenty of boys ( _plenty_ ) that he’d gone after just for that reason alone. And yeah, Sasuke hadn’t been into it, which _yes_ , wasn’t something he was used to. But there was something else. The way Sasuke had stared at him, after Naruto’s little stunt with the receptionist to grab his attention. The way Sasuke had been _judging_ him. _Is that all you are? Is this what you do?_

 _Is_ it what he did? Wasn’t there _more_ to him? Naruto was more than just someone who slept around. Wasn’t he?

“That’s not fair,” he said to Ino. “I’m not bothering you to justify your interest in pinkie.”

“That’s different,” Ino said, rolling her eyes. “I’m not claiming to be in love with her.”

“Oh, I see,” he growled. “So if I wasn’t using the word ‘love’, you’d stop getting annoyed with me?”

“I’d be less annoyed, maybe,” she said. But then the smile went out of her eyes. She leaned closer to him, reaching out to take his hands. “Sweetie,” she said, in a low, soft voice. “I think it’s great you’re interested in someone for more than just sex. I just wish it wasn’t someone so…difficult. I’m just worried about you, okay?”

He sighed, and nodded. Yeah, Sasuke probably was difficult. That was okay, though.

“Thanks,” he said to Ino. “But I don’t think I’ll be giving up on this one.” Giving up was not something he knew how to do.

***

Ino’s words, on top of his musings on Itachi, had him in a gloomy, low mood for the rest of the day. Naruto had never felt like this before- this need and interest in just one person. Well, never having been in love, how was he meant to know what it felt like? Or was it really just the ‘chase’?

When the school day ended he left through the front entrance instead of his usual shortcut. It would be best to go on avoiding Sasori and his friends for the next few days. Let their anger fade for a bit. There was plenty of bad blood between him and Sasori’s crew, not helped by the fact that many of them were _very_ into men and _very_ closeted. Naruto was opposed to both closeted guys _and_ people from school, but unfortunately which hadn’t stopped them from trying to start something with him. _Yeah, no thanks_.

His plan to avoid them all didn’t work out too well that day, because there was Tobi across the lawn by the trees. …damn. Naruto stopped walking and prepared to go another way home.

 _Oh wait, who’s he talking to? –Sasuke!_ Naruto took a sharp breath and felt his heart-rate double instantly.

There he was, sitting against a tree with a book, with Tobi crouched down in front of him. Sasuke did not look happy about this, shooting one of his A+ glares at him.

…Naruto wasn’t happy about this, either. What was that loser doing with _his_ Sasuke?? Smiling slimily at him, trying to snatch at his book? _Get the fuck away from him, Tobi, he doesn’t want you in his face!_

Naruto took a step forward and was about to march over there and punch a hole through Tobi’s gut, when Sasuke slipped away and stalked off.

And now he was torn between beating Tobi up anyway or going after Sasuke. He was finally back at school, Naruto could _finally_ talk to him- though maybe he wasn’t in the best mood at the moment. …well, he hadn’t ever exactly been in a ‘good’ mood that Naruto could tell. At least he hadn’t been glaring at Naruto while he was unconscious though. Heh.

He took a step forward but then froze. What would he even say to Sasuke? He had a sudden memory of his hand around Sasuke’s wrist. _Oh hey, what’s up, are you just naturally skinny or what?_

_…damn, where did he go??_

And then his phone rang, startling him out of his musings. He quickly answered it. “Hello?” he said.

“Naruto,” the voice on the other end said. “It’s Dan.”

Who the hell was Dan?!

“Ah,” he said, not too flustered- this happened a fair bit. “Dan-”

The voice sighed. “ _Blondie_ ,” he said. “From the clinic.”

“Oh!” Naruto said. “Oh hey, what’s up?”

“The new girl started. She had one look at your file and demanded you make an appointment ASAP.”

He grinned. New councillors were fun. More fun if they were _men_ , but still. “The new girl? What’s she like?”

“She’s the scariest woman I’ve ever seen in my life,” Dan said, in a despondent voice.

“…I see…” Naruto said. “Well, okay. Book me in on my usual day then.”

“Okay,” Dan said. He paused. “…are you stopping by today?”

Naruto’s grin deepened.

“Now that you mention it, I very well may,” he said, changing directions as he walked away from school. A round with blondie might be just what the doctor ordered.

***

Naruto watched in amusement as a range of expressions crossed blondie’s face. The two of them were curled up in the back room of the clinic; it was such a convenient location, plenty of rooms with lockable doors. Blondie- er, sorry, _Dan_ \- seemed to be in the middle of an internal struggle, switching from looking guilty, to embarrassed, to pleased, to confused- and back to guilty again.

“What’s up?” Naruto eventually asked, snuggling closer and slinging his arm across the other’s bare stomach under the blankets.

He sighed, and stared up at the roof. “I’m dating someone,” he said, eventually.

Naruto grinned and nodded knowingly. “Dr. Ishida,” he said. He’d seen this coming for _months._

The other boy gaped at him, shocked. “How did you know?!” he demanded.

Naruto shrugged, and continued to brush his fingers across Dan’s flushed skin. “He likes young blondes,” he said. That was really all the explanation that was needed.

Blondie blushed bright red and started stammering. “Hey now, but, you know-”

“Congratulations,” Naruto interrupted. “You’re even blonder than me so I bet he’ll love you! And I’ve got heaps of pointers for you.” Oh, _heaps_. Naruto was very good at figuring out other people’s kinks.

Naruto ran his hand down further past Dan’s hips to the top of his thighs, and he squeaked in response. “Oh, uh, really?” he asked.

Naruto nodded. “He may act all tough, but he’ll just love it if you take charge,” he said with a bright smile. “Give it a go.”

Dan seemed to ponder this, and then nodded back. “And I guess we shouldn’t- not anymore,” he said, nodded at them tangled up together in the sheets.

Well, that worked just fine for Naruto. Dan was great, a lot of fun, but he had other interests to pursue here, ones that evidently required a lot more of his time and attention. He really couldn’t afford any more distractions. Speaking of which.

“Hey,” he said, changing the subject and losing his grin. “What can you tell me about, um- anorexia?”

Dan glanced at him, instantly suspicious. Of course he’d know _exactly_ why Naruto was asking. “Why…?” he asked. “You know I can’t-”

“I’m not asking about anyone in particular,” Naruto interrupted. “Just- some general stuff. I don’t really know anything about it. And the internet, you know... it’s confusing.” He’d had a quick look around, but he hadn’t even known where to start, and what he had found had been pretty confronting. And he wasn’t even convinced there was anything wrong with Sasuke. So what if he was really skinny and he just fainted out of the blue?

Dan fell back on the pillows and narrowed his eyes, and Naruto got ready to argue with him, to find a way around all his ‘patient confidentiality’ shit. If he wasn’t asking specifically about Sasuke, it was fine, wasn’t it? They were just talking here.

“It can be pretty different for different people you know,” Dan eventually said; Naruto felt instantly relieved. He was gonna talk. “And the reasons why it started, too, can really vary.”

Naruto nodded, listening intently. He knew that Dan was studying to be a psychologist, and that plus working at the clinic made him the perfect person to pump for information, among other things.

“But maybe just some more general stuff?” Naruto suggested. “Things that are common to most people?”

“Well,” Dan went on. “It’s what you’d expect, really. An inability or refusal to eat, and to think about food and eating. Distorted ideas about what they look like and what they _should_ look like. Issues with control over their lives and bodies.”

“…control…” Naruto mused. Yeah, he could see that.

“It ends up with being severely underweight, sometimes malnourished, with all the health issues you’d expect from that. Tiredness. Feeling cold all the time. The list goes on and on.”

“But why…” Naruto wondered out loud. “What causes it?”

“Oh, well,” Dan said with a shrug. “These days almost everyone has something. It’s a hard world to live in, especially if you’re young.”

Naruto might know a little about that. It’s not like things had ever been easy for _him_. He’d never had issues with eating, but he had gone through a few phases of being really self-conscious. He winced, thinking about the faint scars on his cheeks. Yeah, it had bothered him in the past, people looking at him, talking about it, asking him about them. But it didn’t bother him anymore. Now, they were an _asset_ ; they made him memorable.

“…thanks,” he murmured. He _had_ wanted to ask what to do about something like that, but suddenly, he seemed too afraid to ask.

***

Naruto had begun to consider the possibility- just _consider_ it, mind you- that Sasuke might be too much of a challenge for even _him_. Yes, it was a crazy thought, but what if it was true? Here he was spending all his time thinking about this guy and how to get through to him, when he could have been doing other things. And probably other people, too. As Sai had so bluntly pointed out this morning as he left for school, it had been a long time since a weekend had passed without any of Naruto’s ‘sexual conquests’ in their apartment.

He could always count on Sai to be both honest and brutal in his assessments of Naruto’s behaviour, and according to Sai, he was acting very strangely indeed.

It had been about two weeks since he’d first seen Sasuke in the waiting room at the clinic. They hadn’t really even had a proper conversation. And yet, Naruto’s instincts regarding Sasuke had not changed since that day. Sasuke was gorgeous. He was new. _And he **will** be mine._

…eventually. It just might require a bit of levelling-up of his skills.

And just as he was sitting in his history class considering how to do this, he got a text from Ino informing him that Sasuke was in class today. Well, okay then!  Today was the day, for better or worse- he was going to talk to Sasuke today. He was going to make some kind of progress, dammit, or he was going to go _crazy!_

Calculus was their last class of the day; so Naruto skipped _his_ last class to make sure he could be standing outside the door when school ended. He fidgeted, pacing up and down the hallway, wondering what he would say. _Oh hey, Sasuke, we’ve had like two conversations but I think I’m in love with you._ Or what about _hey,_ _Sasuke, you saw me beating up three guys outside of school, do you wanna hang out some time? Oh and have I slept with your brother? And do you have a life-threatening eating disorder?_

Not that those weren’t great options, but maybe Naruto shouldn’t use them as his opener. Maybe warm up first. ….so….just what on earth _was_ he going to say to him first??

And then the bell rang and he was out of time. He tensed up and stopped pacing, leaning up against the wall and attempting to look casual. _Dude_ , he said to himself. _I can’t believe how far you have fallen. This is just undignified._

It wasn’t long before the hall was crowded with students, and eventually the calculus class began spilling out into the hallway as well. He kept his eyes peeled for Sasuke, mentally preparing himself to seize this opportunity.

“Oh, Naruto?” said a voice next to him, and he turned and saw Ino’s pink-haired crush. “It’s Naruto, right?”

He smiled and nodded at her, not taking his eyes off the door. “Yeah, that’s me,” he said to her.

“Ino told me what you did,” pinkie said, and Naruto was momentarily confused. He did a lot of things. Why would Ino be telling any of them to this girl?

“What’s that? What’d I do?” he asked, warily.

“She said you told her to take credit for getting my phone back, but it was really _you_ ,” the girl continued.

…ohhh. Well, at least Naruto hadn’t told Ino _how_ he got the phone back, just that she should use it to win some points with pinkie.

“Ah, right, that,” Naruto said, sheepish. “Yeah, it was nothing, um- sorry, what was your name again?”

“Sakura,” came Ino’s voice as she left her classroom and joined them. “It’s _Sakura_ \- how many times have I told you?!” she said in an exasperated tone.

“That’s okay, it’s no problem!” Sakura interjected. “I’m just so thankful. There was some pretty personal stuff on that phone. I’ll make it up to you somehow!”

Naruto smiled at her, more genuinely this time, as she moved closer to Ino, and the two prepared to walk off together. “Like I said, it was nothing. I guess I’ll be seeing you around?”

“Maybe you will be,” Ino said, shooting him a warning look, before manoeuvring Sakura way. “See you tomorrow!” They both waved as they walked down the hall.

 _Aww, they’re cute together_ , he thought to himself as he watched them go.

And then he turned back to monitor the classroom door and found Sasuke standing there, staring at him.

He tensed up and started blushing immediately, much to his mortification. _Keep it together, moron!_

“Sa- Sasuke!” he stammered. “Hi!”

“So,” Sasuke said to him, narrowing those jet-black eyes of his. “It was _her_ phone you were getting back off those guys.” He crossed his arms across his chest and stared.

_Oh my god, he’s talking to me. Sasuke’s talking to me! Quick, say something back!_

_…what do I say?!_

“Um- ah, yeah, you know, they stole it from her, so-”

“So you beat them up and stole it back,” Sasuke said, in a low, steady voice.

_Damn, I **love** his voice._

The halls around them had quickly cleared of students, and they were standing there alone.

“Er, _well_ ,” Naruto said. “If they’d just given it back to me, I wouldn’t have had to-”

Sasuke turned around and started walking away from him.

 _Wait, no, not yet!_ Naruto rushed after him. “Sasuke, wait!” he called.

“Why?” the dark-haired boy asked, shooting him a look over his shoulder as he continued to walk away.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay!” Naruto said, catching up and keeping pace beside him. “After the other day. I just wanted to make sure-”

“The nurse said you carried me to her,” Sasuke said, staring at him from the corner of his eye, with a flat expression. “And you stayed there until my brother came.”

“Oh, well, yeah,” Naruto said. “Um- you’re welcome?” he added, though he wasn’t sure if Sasuke was actually thanking him.

“That’s creepy,” Sasuke said, and Naruto started blushing again.

“Ah, ha, maybe it is,” he stammered, “but I couldn’t just leave you-”

“I was fine,” he interrupted. They had walked all the way down the hall and out of the building; Naruto’s apartment was in the other direction, but he kept walking next to Sasuke anyway.

“I’m glad you’re okay-” he began, before Sasuke stopped walking abruptly.

“Why are you following me?” he demanded.

Naruto stopped walking as well, and stood in front of him, fidgeting awkwardly. “Well,” he said. “On the topic of your brother. It seemed like he knew me, so I was just wondering-”

“He does know you,” Sasuke interrupted. “So what? That’s why you’re following me? You’re into my brother?”

Naruto’s pulse quickened. “What? No! No, no, not at all!”

Sasuke shot him a doubtful glance.

“No, _really_!” Naruto went on. “I just wanna know how he knows me? He looks a little familiar, but-”

“He’s a doctor at the hospital around the corner,” Sasuke said, interrupting him. “He works in the ER. He always remembers his patients’ names.”

 _Ahh_. So was that it? Was that all it was? Naruto certainly had been to that ER a few times, so maybe Sasuke’s brother had treated him one time.

“Oh,” he said to Sasuke. “Okay. So he remembers me just from that? Wow, that’s pretty impressive!”

Sasuke shrugged. “He has a good memory. Is that all? Will you stop following me now?”

 _No, definitely not_ , he thought to himself.

“I’m not following you,” he said. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Why?” Sasuke demanded, arms still crossed over his chest. His narrowed eyes were quickly becoming a glare, and Naruto wilted at the sight of them.

“What do you mean- _why_?” he stammered. “I just- do?”

“Itachi wouldn’t tell me why you’d been in the ER,” Sasuke said, “but he did say he wasn’t surprised you were fighting with Sasori and his friends.”

Naruto frowned. “Yeah but Sasuke, those guys are _jerks_ , why do you even care? I saw you with Tobi the other day. It looked like he was bothering you-”

“You were watching me _again_?!” Sasuke interrupted, shooting him a fiery glower.

“I _wasn’t_!” Naruto said back. “I just happened to see you! Those guys are bad news. So what do you care if I pushed them around a little bit? They deserved it!”

“I don’t know what your game is,” Sasuke said, “but I’m not interested. Just leave me alone.”

And with that, he spun around and stalked off, not looking back.

Naruto stood frozen in place, watching him go. …that was _not_ how he’d wanted that to go! Sasuke didn’t seem interested at _all_. Maybe the opposite.

What was he gonna do now?? He had to talk to him again. Sasuke had clearly gotten the wrong idea about him, so Naruto needed to show him he was wrong- they needed to talk again, and then Sasuke would change his mind, give him a chance to- to what??

_Ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do._

Well, this was a new feeling. Naruto didn’t like it one little bit.

***

Things finally came crashing together a few days later, in a far too literal sense.

The next week had passed way too slowly. Naruto knew that Sasuke was coming to school, and Ino still reported faithfully whenever he showed up in Calculus class- and was still giving him shit about it, of course! He saw Sasuke in the mornings when he arrived at school, looking gorgeous and unreachable, and in the afternoons when he want home across the lawn. But Naruto resisted the urge to try and talk to him again- it wouldn’t do any good, right?

Plus, he didn’t want Sasuke to think he was some kind of creepy stalker, following him wherever he went, tracking his schedule, thinking about him all the time. Usually, Naruto’s natural persistence paid off when it came to getting what he wanted. But in this case, it seemed a different approach was needed. ….if only he could figure out what the hell that approach was!

And in the meantime, his dreams were just getting more and more vivid, Sasuke writhing under him, Sasuke riding him like a bucking bull, Sasuke moaning his name and screaming into his ear. …he was actually starting to feel a _little_ ashamed of himself, as hard as that was to believe. And just how many times you could jerk off in a day without it becoming hazardous to your health?! (But look, it’s not like he was thinking about Sasuke every single time, okay? He wasn’t _obsessed_.)

And then one afternoon, Naruto was heading towards the lawn on his way home, when he saw them. Sasuke, backed up against the wall, and Tobi and three of his friends surrounding him, Sasori included. Sasuke was glaring at them, but he also looked- vulnerable.

Naruto was outraged. How dare they! What the hell did they think they were doing?! He clenched his hands into fists and tried to take a few deep breaths, after all, it might not be what he thought, they could just be talking, and he couldn’t get caught beating people up again- but then Tobi pushed Sasuke hard into the wall and then-

-everything in Naruto’s mind went red; he dropped his bag and rushed over there.

“Oi, Tobi, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Naruto cried, as he wrenched Tobi off Sasuke by his shoulder and shoved him away.

Tobi fell to the ground, eyes wide, and for a moment all four of them, plus Sasuke, stared at him in shock.

“You again,” Sasori growled at him, and the moment passed as Tobi’s friends all advanced on him at once. “You little shit, you are not getting away this time!”

And only then did it occur to him that perhaps rushing into an outnumbered situation, without any preparation at all, was probably not the best idea.

He had time for one more thought before all four of them came at him at once, fists raised; I really hope Sasuke doesn’t think I was spying on him again.

…and then one of them must have hit his head because the next thing he knew, the ground was coming at him fast and the world around him went black.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO, come visit me on tumblr (username: "Shherie") for more frequent updates on this fic, I've been posting it in parts on tumblr before I collate them here ^_^.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your kind comments on chapter one, this is quite different than my other work and I was a little worried @_@. Even though my Naruto is always arrogant and whore-y, ahaha... like seriously, could you stop touching unconscious people and stalking Sas please, it really is creepy >_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING as usual for talk of anorexia and suicide. Also an explicit trigger warning for some brief mentions of pro-ana. If this stuff bothers you more than a little, it might be better to stay away.
> 
> Apologies for the delay in updating this fic! Just getting over a touch of writer's block, hehe.
> 
> {{also, psst: I don't want to spoil anything, but I need to say that Sas is just as into Naruto as Naruto is into him, and if he really wanted Nar to stay away, he'd MAKE him.}}

Naruto could tell he was in the hospital before he even opened his eyes; he knew these sounds off by heart. So he took a moment just to move each of his limbs, stretch out his neck a little, make sure all his parts were working. Well, he seemed okay, but his jaw hurt like a _bitch_ , and his ribs didn’t feel all that flash either. Shallow breaths, then!

He hoped that Sasuke didn’t get beaten up as well- _oh, Sasuke, shit!_ He snapped his eyes open and tried to sit up, then groaned as all his muscles and bones screeched at him for daring to move. He fell back down on the mattress, taking short, pained breaths, and looking around him, noticing Sasuke next to the bed and- wait.

 _-Sasuke?_ Naruto blinked, and stared. “Sa- Sasuke…?” he croaked out. It was him! He was here!

The dark-haired boy stayed silent, gazing steadily back at him with those deep, black eyes. Then he leaned forward closer to the bed, close enough to _touch_ , and Naruto wondered if he were dreaming. He froze, and for a moment he thought his heart stopped beating completely. _Oh god, what’s he doing?!_

And then Sasuke pressed the “Call for Assistance” button next to Naruto’s head, and then sat back in his chair, arms folded across his chest, and glared at him.

 _…okay then, let’s try this again_. “Sasuke,” Naruto said again, clearing his throat. “You’re- you’re here!”

“You’re an idiot,” Sasuke said to him. “An absolute idiot.”

“Oh,” Naruto said. “…thank you.”

“You should see the size of the bruise on your face.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure the other guys-”

“You didn’t even get a chance to touch them, moron! What the hell were you thinking?!”

Naruto pouted. He hadn’t been thinking, obviously-

“Indeed,” came a voice, and Naruto turned his head and saw Sasuke’s brother standing there. Itachi. “Our Mr. Uzumaki likes to live on the edge, it would seem.”

“Oh, hey Doc,” Naruto said. “Am I dying?”

“We may be able to save you,” he said, walking closer to the bed placing a hand on Naruto’s wrist to check his pulse.

Naruto knew the drill. Next he’d shine a flashlight in his eyes- yes, there it was. He winced. His head was _pounding_.

“You have a slight concussion,” Itachi informed him. “We’ll keep you here overnight.”

“Excellent,” Naruto said. “So I get dinner, right? What day is it? Chocolate pudding day?”

“Sasuke,” Itachi said, turning away from him. “It’s late. You should get going.”

“In a minute,” Sasuke murmured, staring past his brother at Naruto.

“Sasuke-”

“In a _minute_ , I said,” Sasuke repeated.

Itachi sighed, and walked away, pulling the curtain closed behind him as he left- but leaving it open just a little, Naruto noticed. Heh.

When Itachi had left Naruto turned his attention back to Sasuke, who gazed back at him with an openly disapproving expression on his face. It was a look Naruto was pretty used to getting, so it didn’t bother him in the slightest. He grinned. This was _wonderful_.

“You came to the hospital with me,” Naruto said, delighted. “That’s so nice of you-”

“Idiot,” Sasuke interrupted. “I said, what were you _thinking_? You were out-numbered.”

“Oh come on, Sasuke, stop thanking me, honestly- you’re embarrassing me!” Naruto said, his grin deepening.

“You should have stayed out of it!” he hissed, sitting forward in his seat. “It had nothing to do with you!”

“Yes, yes, anything for you babe. Any time, really,” Naruto went on.

Sasuke sighed, and fell back on his chair. “Whatever,” he muttered. “Get yourself beaten up. See if I care.”

Obviously he _did_ care, he was here after all, sitting right next to his bed, _and_ it was outside of visiting hours! That was love, for sure. Naruto suddenly felt light-headed, giddy with happiness. Is this what it took to get Sasuke’s attention? He should have got beaten up days ago!

“Stop smiling,” Sasuke ordered.

“No,” Naruto said back. He would damn well smile if he wanted to! After all, this was by far the longest interaction he’d had with the gorgeous boy; he was going to milk it for all it was worth! Sasuke must have felt guilty for Naruto winding up in hospital. Guilt was a _great_ emotion. Very useful.

Sasuke sighed again. “…moron.” He reached down into his bag and pulled out a book.

“What are you doing?” Naruto asked, glancing at the book curiously.

“I’m going to read to you, dead-last,” Sasuke hissed, “what the fuck else would I do with a book, shove it up your ass?!”

Naruto stared back at him, speechless. Um, wow, he had quite a mouth on him.

“…Sasuke,” Naruto said, wide-eyed. “You’re amazing. I love you, man, I swear to god. Full homo. None of that platonic shit-”

“Naruto!” Sasuke screeched, standing up and glowering at him. “What the hell is wrong with you! I am out of here-” He snatched his bag up off the floor and stalked away from the bed.

“Ah, ohhh, it hurts!” Naruto cried out instantly, flailing in his sheets. “Owww, my head, my ribs, ohh, god, so much pain!”

Sasuke paused, turned around, and glared.

“- _so_ much pain!” Naruto repeated, putting on his most pathetic expression and sinking down into the pillows.

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep, audible breath. “Why the hell did I come here,” he muttered.

“To see me, obviously!” Naruto said, gleefully, quickly switching to a pained expression when Sasuke opened his eyes and stared at him.

“…five minutes,” Sasuke said, scowling, and walked back to his chair.

“Will you read to me?” Naruto asked.

“I’m not starting from the beginning,” Sasuke warned. “Take it or leave it, dead-last.”

“I’ll take it!” Naruto declared. _Anything you’ve got, Sasuke, bring it on, I want it **all**._

Naruto settled back down onto his bed, looking over at Sasuke feeling deliriously happy, and thanked his lucky stars he’d been knocked out unconscious today.

***

Naruto knew how to work the system; if you wanted to stay in hospital longer, you just had to say you had a headache, or that your stomach hurt. The doctors had to be careful about that stuff. So far, Naruto’s record was four days and three nights for a sprained ankle. That was four days and three nights of a comfy bed, great food, and a clean bathroom.

Well, now that he was living with Sai, those things weren’t quite as appealing anymore, but he figured if he stayed here long enough, eventually Sasuke would show up again. And that was _very_ appealing.

He was right, and he didn’t even need to wait that long! Sasuke appeared the very next evening.

“Why are you still in hospital, moron?” the dark-haired boy said by way of hello, peeking his head around the curtains. “It was just a mild concussion, wasn’t it?”

“Sasuke!” Naruto called out with a grin. “Were you worried about me? Couldn’t stay away from the boy who went to hospital for you?”

“Idiot,” Sasuke said back, looking supremely unimpressed at that remark. “I just came here to meet my brother.”

“And met him you have, Sasuke,” said Itachi, appearing behind him and walking past him to the bed. “We’re discharging you in the morning, Mr. Uzumaki,” he added, making a note on Naruto’s chart.

Naruto pouted. “Tomorrow? But my stomach-”

“Don’t bother,” the doctor interrupted. “Too many nurses and doctors here know your routine off by heart. And you seemed fine during dinner.”

“There was cake for dessert,” Naruto informed Sasuke; Sasuke continued to look unimpressed.

“Are you done yet?” Sasuke said to his brother, ignoring Naruto.

“Another few minutes,” Itachi said back, returning Naruto’s chart and hurrying off.

Sasuke watched him leave and then sighed. “That means an hour,” he muttered. “Great.” He dragged himself over to the chair next to Naruto’s bed and slumped down, pulling a book out of his bag as he did so.

“Gonna read to me again?” Naruto asked with a grin. He’d so enjoyed it, yesterday; it had been a real treat, getting to listen to Sasuke’s beautiful voice for almost an hour.

“No,” Sasuke said. “And don’t get any ideas. I’m just sitting here because the waiting room is full of _sick_ people. It’s gross.” He wrinkled his nose in disgust. It was adorable.

“Wow, that’s so sweet!” Naruto gushed. “So I’m not gross? Aww, thanks.”

Sasuke shot him a glare and turned his attention to his book. Naruto turned his attention to Sasuke’s eyes, as usual being completely captivated by the way they darted across and down the page, so fast. Oh, and his eyelashes; they were so long they actually cast shadows on his cheeks.

“Sasuke, you’re so pretty,” Naruto said, leaning as far over as he could without falling out of his bed. “You should go out with me.”

“No,” Sasuke responded, not looking up from his book. “I don’t know what your deal is, what kind of creepy pro-ana fetish you have, but it’s annoying.” He turned a page and continued reading.

Naruto blinked. “Uh…creepy? Fetish? _Me_?” And what had he said? _Pro-ana_ …? “Wow, you’ve got me all wrong, Sasuke, I swear to god.” Naruto was just a normal guy, after all.

Sasuke ignored that. Naruto sulked, and lay back down on his bed, and watched Sasuke read in silence.

Time passed, and Naruto wondered what he could do to make Sasuke read to him again. Should he try the guilt thing…? Whatever book he was reading must be really interesting for Sasuke to be so absorbed in it. He’d never seen anyone read so intently. It was amazing.

But before he could say anything, Itachi appeared again and announced it was time to go.

“I guess you’ll be back in school tomorrow,” Sasuke said as he stood and put his book away. “Don’t follow me around. It’s weird.”

Naruto grinned at him. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. You’ve got calculus, right? Such a geek.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes at him and left, followed by his brother, who glanced at Naruto darkly for a moment before leaving.

Eh, well, Itachi didn’t bother him, now that Naruto was 95% sure he hadn’t slept with him. And he supposed that being forced to leave hospital tomorrow wouldn’t be so bad, not if Sasuke was looking forward to seeing him back at school!

Yes, getting beaten up and getting that concussion had been a great idea.

***

He’d been discharged just in time to make it to school, where as usual, his hospital stay worked to his advantage in currying favour with his teachers. Assignment deadline extensions and ‘special considerations’ galore. It was great.

All he was really doing though, was biding time before last period when he could see Sasuke again after class. He’d missed seeing him in the morning, and he was nowhere to be seen during lunch- he never was. But finally the day ended and he raced to the other end of the school to meet him after his calculus class.

“You’re hopeless,” Ino said when she saw him waiting outside the door. “Get a life already.”

Naruto just smiled and waved as she shoved passed him down the hall. “See ya tomorrow!” he called after her.

“Not you again,” came Sasuke’s voice, and Naruto turned back around and grinned.

“Sasuke!” he said, jubilant just at the sight of him. He bounded down the hall after him when he quickly started walking away. “Hey, what are you doing after school today? I was thinking of-”

“No,” Sasuke interrupted.

“I didn’t say anything yet-”

“Just no,” Sasuke repeated, as he started to walk even faster. Naruto had to rush to keep up with him. Before he knew it, they were already outside and crossing the lawn.

Naruto quickly glanced around, relieved that none of those guys seemed to be about. He didn’t want any trouble today, and besides Sasuke was talking to him- kind of- so he didn’t need to get beaten up for attention at the moment.

“So anyway, just what was happening the other day?” he said, speeding up so he was walking next to Sasuke. “With Tobi and that?”

“None of your business,” Sasuke growled at him. “Why are you following me?”

“Just making sure you’re safe,” Naruto said back. “It’s the full Uzumaki service!”

“I don’t want it,” Sasuke said, narrowing his eyes. “…creep,” he added, under his breath.

Naruto didn’t respond to that, just kept walking beside him and they left the school and walked through the side-streets. A few minutes went by in silence, Naruto looking over at him every now and then, and smiling to himself.

“So is your house around here?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke glanced at him and frowned. “I’m not going home,” he said. “I’m meeting Itachi at the hospital.”

“Oh,” Naruto said. “Again? You’ll have to wait a while, I guess.”

“So what’s it to you?” Sasuke said with a scowl. They turned a corner and sure enough, there was the hospital.

 _Nice shortcut_ , Naruto thought to himself; he’d have to remember this one. “Do you do this every day?” Naruto asked.

“No,” Sasuke answered, a little too quickly. They arrived at the small garden at the front of the hospital; Sasuke stopped walking and stared at him. “Go home,” he said.

“No,” Naruto said back. “Maybe I’m also waiting for Itachi to finish work. Maybe I have some questions.”

“Stop stalking me!” Sasuke hissed, looking increasingly annoyed. The poor thing. “What’s your _deal_?”

“My deal?” Naruto asked, tilting his head and giving Sasuke his most innocent smile. “I’m just a guy standing outside a hospital.”

Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he muttered, and then walked a little away from him and sat down against a tree. And, of course, he pulled a book out of his bag.

It wasn’t the same one he was reading yesterday; it was the one he’d been reading to Naruto. Naruto’s heart skipped a beat and he bounced over to Sasuke and settled down next to him.

“Sasuke,” he began, “please read to me. I need to know what happens next!”

“I’m not reading to you again,” Sasuke said back. “Go home.”

“It’s not fair to start something and not finish it,” Naruto whined.

“Then finish reading it yourself!” Sasuke scowled, holding the book out to him.

Naruto stared at it suspiciously. What, _him_ , read a book? No thank you. He pouted, and frowned at Sasuke. “Please,” he said again. “Just for a little bit. Then I’ll leave you alone.”

“Oh, fine!” Sasuke said with a growl. “Honestly!”

Naruto smiled brightly and scooted closer to him, leaning back against the tree as well. “Thank you Sasuke!” he said.

“Just shut up and listen, idiot,” Sasuke said, glaring at him and the rapidly narrowing distance between them, and clearing his throat. “Anyway. _It had been a nice afternoon in May. After lunch, Kizuki suggested we skip classes and go play pool or something_ -”

“Who’s Kizuki again?” Naruto interrupted, trying to remember what Sasuke had read to him the other day. He scooted even closer, practically resting his head on Sasuke’s shoulder.

“His best friend,” Sasuke said, looking displeased at the interruption and at Naruto’s arm against his own. He didn’t shove him away, though. That was a good sign, “ _When I won the first, easy-going game, he became serious and won the next three. This meant I paid, according to our custom_.”

“That’s nice,” Naruto interrupted again. “It must be great to have someone you can skip school with. I usually just do it by myself.”

“Are you going to keep up this commentary the whole time?” Sasuke growled at him. “You listened quietly the other day.”

“I was injured,” Naruto pointed out. “But okay. I’ll try.”

Sasuke sighed, and resumed reading. “ _Kizuki didn't make a single joke as we played. Why so serious? I asked. I didn't want to lose today, said Kizuki with a satisfied smile_.”

Naruto wondered to himself if these guys were really just ‘friends’, or something more. Anyway this guy seemed pretty important to the story- _no, pay attention, you’ll miss something_! Naruto scolded himself.

“ _He died that night in his garage. He led a rubber hose from the exhaust pipe of his N-360 to a window_ -”

Wait, WHAT?!

“Sasuke!” Naruto shrieked, pulling away from him. “What the _hell_?!”

“What?” Sasuke asked, staring back at him.

“He _died_?? You can’t be serious!” That just couldn’t happen!

“Well, yeah,” Sasuke said. “Didn’t you see it coming? I mean-”

“ _Why_ did he die?!” Naruto demanded. “And- and wait, did he actually- he _didn’t_ , did he?”

“Do what? Kill himself? Yeah, he did.”

Naruto pushed himself further away. “What the hell kind of a story is this?!” he shrieked, and Sasuke winced at the loud noise.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “Do you want me to stop reading then?” he suggested.

“No!” Naruto cried. “Just- but _why_? And- isn’t he like, a main character?”

“Just keep listening, moron,” Sasuke said, settling back against the tree. “And maybe you’ll find out why. Or maybe you won’t. He doesn’t have to explain himself to _you_ , after all.”

Naruto pouted. Yes, he did. Damn it, he was really starting to be interested in this story and then something crappy like that happened-

“Mr. Uzumaki,” came a voice, and he looked up and saw Itachi standing above them, looking displeased.

Naruto cringed. He hoped he hadn’t been yelling at Sasuke too loudly. That wouldn’t have been a good look. “Oh hey, doc,” he said, smiling weakly.

“I see you’re bothering my brother again,” Itachi went on.

“He was just leaving, actually,” Sasuke said from beside him, giving him a pointed look.

“But the story-”

“Another time,” Sasuke quickly said.

Another time?? What time? There was going to be another time?! Well, in that case! Naruto leapt to his feet before Sasuke could take it back.

“Okay, sounds great!” he said. “I should go let my roommate know I’m alive, anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow, Sasuke!”

“Mm,” Sasuke muttered back, glancing at him briefly before turning back to the book.

A man of few words, his Sasuke was. Oh well. “Bye doc,” Naruto said to Itachi as he picked up his bag and started to leave.

“Stay out of trouble,” Itachi said to him as he left, not taking his eyes off his brother.

Such a delightfully warm and friendly pair these two were. _I’ll win them both over, if I have to_ , Naruto thought to himself as he left the hospital and headed home.

***

He’d been in such a good mood after Sasuke’s promise of _another time_ , but the further away from the hospital he’d walked, the darker his mood had turned. He really hadn’t been expecting the story to take that turn, and Sasuke had reacted to it so casually. Well, he’d probably read the story heaps of times, but still.

Naruto frowned to himself as he sat eating some ambiguous leftovers in front of the ancient computer in their living room. It wasn’t just that, though. Something Sasuke had said to him the other day had really bothered him and he hadn’t been able to shake it off. Sasuke had called him all kinds of names and accused him of lots of things- like stalking, and general creepiness- and Naruto had just brushed them all off but-

A pro-ana fetish? What even was that?

So as soon as he’d gotten home, he grabbed some food and decided to find out.

Needless to say, it only took about five minutes on google before he was well and truly disturbed, but still slightly confused. Did Sasuke think that Naruto was into him because he was so _skinny_?

…well, _was_ he? Naruto switched off the computer and pushed his food away. No, of course not. Obviously, Sasuke was thin, and you couldn’t not notice it. And Naruto had been instantly attracted to him, to his hair, his eyes, the way he walked, the way he stared back at him from across the room-

But then he remembered what it had felt like, when Sasuke had fainted in front of him, when Naruto had carried him to the nurse’s room and stayed beside his bed. All those feelings that had welled up in him. Naruto had been able to carry him like he was nothing. And his wrists… Sasuke was so tiny, so breakable. Something to be _protected_. He clearly needed someone to take care of him, and…

Naruto sighed. Well, apart from anything else, it seemed like Sasuke had actually admitted to the whole anorexia thing. And that meant he was sick, right? So he would get better, then he wouldn’t be so freakishly skinny, and maybe he wouldn’t just pass out with no warning. And if that happened, Sasuke would still be just as gorgeous, probably even more so, and Naruto would still be into him. …right?

“Um, Naruto?” said a voice, and he blinked, and looked up. It was dark in the room, and Sai was standing in front of him. “Are you okay?”

How long had he been sitting here? “Oh, hi,” he said, standing up and stretching out. “Uh, yeah, just- thinking. I’m fine.”

“Are you hungry? It’s dinner time,” Sai went on.

Naruto shook his head. “Nah, I’m okay. I’m just gonna go to my room. Homework.” He stood up and smiled as he walked across the room.

“Well, alright then,” Sai said as he went. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do,” Naruto replied, before slumping down on his bed. It had been a really long week, and it wasn’t even over. He was exhausted.

After weeks of getting seemingly nowhere with Sasuke, now he’d seen him- spoke to him, spent time with him- every day; but had they really made any progress? Naruto was trying really hard to push aside all these annoying thoughts and go back to his usual day-dreamy, sparkly feelings he usually felt when he thought about Sasuke. But there were little warning lights going off in his head, and he just couldn’t ignore them.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book they're reading is Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami, one of my faves <3 <3.
> 
> Also I want to strangle Naruto for his complete lack of social skills and general inappropriateness. Our boy needs someone to teach him a few things...hmm....any volunteers I wonder...? ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for anorexia etc.
> 
> Just a reminder that we're dealing with serious mental health issues here, and I do hope that if anyone thinks it might upset them too much, they reconsider reading it. 
> 
> There will be one more chapter of this coming out next week, and then I'll be going on writing hiatus until the end of semester. But this is a looooong chapter, and the next one is a special one, from Sasuke's POV! So I hope y'll like it ^_^.

On the one hand, Sasuke had told him to stop being a creep. On the other hand, he’d said they would hang out “another time”. …but, on the other, _other_ hand, Sasuke seemed to think that Naruto had some kind of fetish for freakishly skinny people.

He groaned and laid his head down on the table. That was too many hands.

“I think our relationship’s over before it even began,” he spoke into the table-top, his voice coming out muffled.

“At least he realises that they don’t actually _have_ a relationship,” Ino said to Sakura over his head.

Naruto scowled, but didn’t look up. “Hey, I’m not _delusional!_ Just…optimistic.”

“And look where it’s gotten you,” Ino said to that. “You’re miserable.”

Well, yes, he _was_ miserable. _Snap out of it_ , he kept telling himself, but he was just feeling- hopeless. He was pretty sure he’d screwed up any chance of even being _friends_ with Sasuke, let alone anything else. It was over.

“He’s like a puppy that’s gotten scolded by his owner,” Sakura commented, and when Naruto turned his face slightly so he could see her, she gave him a gentle, comforting smile. That was nice. Sakura was nice. He was glad Ino was having a million times better luck with _her_ love-life than he was with _his_.

“That’s a great comparison,” Ino said. “See, he’s spent all his time running around in crazy circles wagging his tail, and now he’s all tired out, too exhausted to even move.”

“I’m not a _puppy_ ,” Naruto whined. “And if you guys are so clever, what _should_ I have done with Sasuke? How do you even get through to someone like him? He’s so…hostile…”

Ino and Sakura exchanged a glance, and then they both shrugged.

“Maybe you should have taken it slower,” Sakura said. A valid point, yes, he’d take that into consideration.

“You definitely shouldn’t have kept waiting for him outside of class,” Ino added. Yeah okay, that had been creepy and stalker-ish, absolutely, he could see that now.

-but where else would Naruto have been able to see him?! Sasuke was smart, _really_ smart, so they didn’t have any classes together at all. And he guessed that Sasuke wasn’t involved in any after-school stuff, not that that would have helped, since Naruto wasn’t either.

Ugh, the whole thing had been doomed from the start, that was clear now. And it was a shame; now he would never find out what happened in that book.

Lunch ended, and he dragged himself from classroom to classroom until finally the day was over, and then he slumped against a wall outside of school to rest for a moment before heading home. It wasn’t even the weekend yet, and it had been a _long_ week. He couldn’t wait to just sleep for 48 hours straight, and maybe clear his head a little.

Of course usually he’d seek out a little entertainment for Friday night and the weekend, maybe run through the contacts on his phone or head out to find someone new, but that thought just didn’t appeal to him at all now- like, at _all_.

It’s like he’d been cursed, from the moment he laid eyes on that dark-haired boy, to not be interested in anyone but him. And even worse than that, Naruto honestly wasn’t sure if _sex_ with Sasuke was what he wanted. He just wanted to…talk, at first, and maybe Sasuke could read to him again. And then, after that, well. Maybe.

 _Is that what dating is?_ he asked himself. It kinda sounded like what Ino had described.

Well, it didn’t matter now.

“Oi,” came a voice, breaking through Naruto’s dark cloud, and he looked up- and was more than a little surprised to find that dark-haired boy himself staring at him. “What’s wrong with you?”

“…Sasuke?” Naruto asked, wondering how long he’d been standing there. “Oh, um, hi?” He pushed himself up from the ground and leant against the wall.

“You’re not still upset about the book, are you?” Sasuke asked with a frown, arms folded across his chest, looking grumpy.

The book…? Oh, right. Naruto shook his head. “No, I mean, I’m just…” Just _what_? He didn’t actually know. _Quick, make something up_. “It’s silly to be upset over something like that, isn’t it?”

Sasuke shrugged. “Maybe if I’d actually read it to you from the beginning, you wouldn’t have been so surprised,” he said, still frowning. “I guess maybe you didn’t see it coming.”

Naruto blinked. Was that…an _apology_? If you squinted, it might pass for one. This was…new. “Well, maybe I’ll just have to get you to start again,” he said. “From the beginning.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “Good luck with that,” he said back.

Naruto laughed a little. _Figures_. “Yeah, thanks.” He picked up his bag, waved at Sasuke, and started to leave.

“Naruto,” Sasuke called out, walking behind him. _Huh? What’s this? Is he following me?_

“…yeah?” Naruto asked, turning his head around, surprised. _Wait, he found **me** this time; **he** started talking to **me**. _ How had he not realised that?!

“What were you going to say yesterday?” Sasuke continued. “Before we left school?”

Naruto thought hard. When was that? Yesterday was so long ago. Hmm, so before the book, before the hospital, they’d been walking out of school and he’d been about to suggest they-

“Oh, right,” Naruto said, remembering, and his mood brightened just a little, thinking of how ridiculous his idea had been. “I was gonna say that you should come over and play video games.”

“Video games?” Sasuke repeated, with a doubtful expression on his face. As expected.

“Yeah!” Naruto said, brightening further, as the two of them continued to walk away from school- _together. He’s still following me!!_ “Sai got me a PS4 for Christmas last year, so I thought, well, it might be fun!”

“Who’s Sai?” Sasuke asked.

“He’s my roommate,” Naruto answered. They reached the school boundary and Naruto started taking his usual shortcut.

“You live with a roommate?” Sasuke said, still walking beside him. He actually looked- well, not _interested_ , but this was probably the closest to that emotion that Naruto had ever seen from him.

How annoying that he’d be interested in _this_ part of his life. But hey, Sasuke was talking to him of his own free will, and he was _still_ walking beside him. “Yep,” Naruto said, cautiously, trying not to make any sudden movements to spook Sasuke into realising what he was doing.

“Is that- how is that- allowed…?” Sasuke asked with a small frown.

Allowed? “Oh, um. Well, technically I’m over eighteen, so. And, I don’t know, I leave all that legal stuff to other people,” Naruto said with a shrug, feeling uncomfortable with where this was going.

“You’re already eighteen?” Sasuke asked. “Me too.”

He was? That was…interesting. But Naruto had better change the subject, this line of conversation couldn’t go anywhere good…he fidgeted as the two of them walked down the street, getting closer to Naruto’s apartment now.

“Naruto,” Sasuke went on, his face all serious and intent. Naruto felt nervous. “What’s a PS4?”

Naruto blinked, and tripped over his feet a little. _Really_?! “Uh, Sasuke,” he began. “You don’t know what a PS4 is??”

“Should I?” Sasuke said back, looking mildly offended at Naruto’s tone.

“Do you at least know what a PlayStation is?”

Sasuke shrugged. “Something to do with TV’s…?”

Well, this was a surprising twist! Could it be that Sasuke had never actually played video games before?

He grinned. “Sasuke,” he said. “Just you wait. I’m going to introduce you to an amazing game called _Mortal Kombat_. You’re going to love it.”

***

Sasuke was one of those guys who just gave off a vibe you know, like you could tell just by looking at him that he was super smart and super good at everything he did.

…well, when it came to video games, that _definitely_ wasn’t true, because Sasuke was _awful_. And Naruto loved it.

“No, look, you have to press the triangle-” Naruto said, leaning over to rearrange Sasuke’s hands over the controller again. The boy had no idea what he was doing. “There, like that, okay? Wow, this really is your first time huh?”

Sasuke scowled at him, his cheeks slightly pink at that comment. “Well if you’d just stop beating me up so insistently, maybe I could figure out how this damn thing works!”

“I can’t help it,” Naruto said with a laugh. “You’re just very, very easy to beat!”

Sasuke reached over and snatched Naruto’s controller out of his hands. “Don’t touch it. Just give me a few moments to figure this out.”

Naruto let the controller fall into his lap and then held up both his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay! It’s all yours. I won’t do anything.”

Sasuke glared at him and then turned back to the screen, staring intently as he started carefully, methodically, pressing each of the buttons one at a time and watching what happened.

“You have to use combos-” Naruto began, but quickly shut up when the other boy shot him a fiery look.

“I’m working on it, okay?” he growled, and went back to his experimenting.

Naruto leaned back on the couch to watch him. He couldn’t believe that Sasuke had actually followed him all the way to his apartment, come inside, and was now sitting next to him playing video games. All this, only a few hours after Naruto had pretty much given up hope. Was that what it took? Telling the universe, hey, I’m done?

It was definitely a stroke of luck. Sasuke was _way_ out of his league, but something must have sparked his interest…or maybe he was just bored. Or maybe he felt sorry for Naruto and was just throwing him a bone. Who knew.

Oh, but he was _so_ cute, sitting there biting his bottom lip, staring at the screen so hard, trying to figure out how the game worked. It was _adorable_. Well, this had certainly pulled Naruto out of his dark mood! Suddenly his mind was full of delightfully sparkly images of Sasuke again.

 _Calm down, you loser_ , he told himself. _Don’t start all that again!_

“Okay, I’m ready,” Sasuke said, interrupting Naruto’s happy daydream of playing video games with Sasuke every day after school.

Naruto stared back at him, feeling a little dazed. “Oh,” he said. “Right! Okay, just one more thing though. Can I pick up my controller again? I’ll show you.”

“Go ahead,” Sasuke said, giving him permission.

Naruto grinned, then held the controller up in front of him. “Okay, watch what happens when I press these buttons at the same time. Oh but, you can’t use this move all the time okay? You have to wait for your guy to be ready.”

“Okay,” Sasuke said, looking doubtful, and turning back to the TV.

Naruto pressed the button, and his previously-motionless character on the screen jolted back to life, jumping across to the other fighter and slamming his fist through his stomach to his spine; and then, in gloriously violent detail, he snapped the spine in two and pulled it out through the wound.

Naruto sighed it happiness. “Isn’t it awesome?” he proclaimed.

Sasuke glanced at him. “It’s certainly…graphic,” he said, his tone of voice not giving much away.

 _Oh, he loves it, surely_ , Naruto thought. “Okay, let’s play! I’m not gonna go easy on you any more, Sasuke!”

And then over the next two hours, Naruto sat in stunned disbelief as this hopeless video-game virgin gradually became some kind of demonic genius with every round. _What the hell_ , Naruto thought to himself as he pounded the controller furiously, snapping back to full attention and having to fight for all he was worth just to maintain his dignity.

“Sasuke, are you _serious_?” Naruto whined, when he’d once again demolished all of Naruto’s best moves like they were nothing. Each time Naruto set them up with new characters it would take Sasuke a moment to find his groove again, but those precious few minutes weren’t nearly long enough for Naruto to take proper advantage of. “Why didn’t you tell me you were this good??”

“Is this good?” Sasuke said, not looking at him, keeping his full attention on the screen as he calmly, yet rapidly, hit the buttons on his controller.

Naruto threw his own controller down when Sasuke once again won the round. “This just isn’t fair!” he groaned. “How can you be this talented after only a few hours!!”

“Has it been hours?” Sasuke asked him, carefully placing his controller down and stretching. He reached down to his bag and pulled out his phone. “Oh, it’s on silent. Look at all these missed calls…” He frowned.

Naruto looked out the window and noticed it was dark. Wow- they’d spent the whole afternoon together! If Sasuke stayed just a little longer, then Sai would come home and he could introduce them. Sai would see for himself just how gorgeous Naruto’s ‘dream boy’ was. …well, maybe the two of them meeting wasn’t the best idea.

Sasuke’s phone started ringing and he sighed audibly before answering. “Hello…yes, I know, I just saw the time- no, it’s fine- no, I-” he sighed again, and narrowed his eyes.

Must be his parents. Was Sasuke in trouble? That was interesting.

“I’m just at a friend’s house, it’s no big- yeah, okay, I get it-” Sasuke stopped talking and looked over at Naruto. “What’s the address of this place? He says he’s coming to pick me up.”

Naruto told him, and Sasuke parroted it back into the phone as Naruto slumped back on the couch and pouted. Was he leaving? Oh well. This had been a whole lot more than he’d been expecting, that was for sure! And then he had a thought, and quickly grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled something on it.

Sasuke finally hung up his phone and stared at it in disgust. “He’s so annoying,” he growled.

“Here,” Naruto said, leaning over and shoving the paper into his hand. “This is for you.”

“What is it?” Sasuke said, unfolding it and gazing at it in suspicion. “Your phone number?”

“Yes. Can I have yours now?” he asked, feeling hopeful despite knowing exactly what Sasuke would say to that.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Oh, so you can call me at all hours of the night? I don’t think so. You haven’t earned it, yet.”

 “Oh, come on,” Naruto said. “It’s not fair that I don’t have your number when you have mine!”

“You can take it back!” Sasuke said, standing up and shoving all his things in his bag, and putting the paper back down on the couch. “He’ll be here in a minute.”

And sure enough, there was a knock at the door the very next instant.

…damn.

Sasuke moved away from the couch and Naruto followed him, reaching the front door first and opening it.

“Hi doc!” he said, smiling brightly. He’d been expecting to see Sasuke’s father; he was curious to know if he also looked just like these two demon-eyed boys. Oh well.

“…Naruto,” Itachi said, eyes narrowing before he turned to look at Sasuke. “This is your friend?”

Sasuke shrugged. “We were just playing video games,” he said.

“Video games?” his brother repeated, looking sceptical. “You missed your appointment.”

 _Oh_ , Naruto thought with a sudden pang of guilt. It hadn’t occurred to him that Sasuke might have had other plans. But then, _he_ was the one who basically invited himself over this afternoon, so- but still.

Well, it had been a fantastic afternoon anyway, and Naruto was more than a little disappointed that it was ending.

Sasuke shrugged again. “Whatever. Let’s get going.”

“Wait in the car,” Itachi said. “I’ll be down in the moment.”

Sasuke frowned. “Itachi-”

“ _Sasuke_ ,” his brother said back in a low tone.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “I guess I’ll be going then,” he said to Naruto.

Naruto could feel his happy mood slipping away. Itachi watched Sasuke walk down the hall and then he turned back to Naruto, a grim expression on his face.

Naruto continued to smile. “So what’s up?” he asked.

“You and I need to have a conversation,” Itachi said. “If you intend to keep spending time with my brother.”

“That’s really between the two of us, isn’t it?” Naruto said.

“It is not,” Itachi said back. “Where Sasuke is concerned, my opinion of things is all that matters.”

Well, that was disturbing. Naruto felt his smile falter a little, but he did his best to keep it up. After all, Sasuke was eighteen; they were both adults, technically. What could Itachi really do to stop them from seeing each other?

Itachi reached into his pocket and pulled out a card, quickly jotting something down on it.

“Come and see me at the hospital soon. Here are some times that Sasuke shouldn’t be around.”

“Hey, um, you’re not serious are you, because-”

“I am very serious,” Itachi interrupted, and all of a sudden Naruto was being glared at, full force.

He took a step back and stopped smiling. That was _freaky_!

“Yeah, okay, if you say so!” Naruto quickly said, having no real intention to actually follow through on this, but saying whatever he had to, just to get this terrifying guy gone!

“Good,” Itachi said with a small nod. “Goodbye, Mr. Uzumaki.”

He turned and left, and Naruto just stood there for a few minutes, trembling slightly. _Not cool, dude_ , he told himself. _He’s just Sasuke’s brother, why are you so freaked out?_

***

That question was all Naruto could think about for the rest of the night and into the next day. Sasuke’s brother was…intense. Now, to be fair, Naruto had zero experience with brothers (or with sisters, or any kind of family, really), but based on what he’d seen on TV, Itachi’s behaviour around Sasuke was- unusual. And Sasuke just did as he was told…?

Maybe it had something to do with Sasuke being, well, like he was. Itachi was a doctor, after all, so maybe it made sense for him to feel protective.

But whether it made sense or not, it was a sudden, unexpected barrier that Naruto had no idea how to handle. He really didn’t want to actually go and see him in the hospital! Definitely not.

Friday went by a little faster than usual, and Naruto couldn’t wait to get out of here for a whole weekend. He stood outside school at the end of the day with Ino and Sakura, and wondered- not for the first time- if Sasuke had really gotten in trouble for missing whatever appointment he’d had yesterday. He still felt a little bit guilty about that.

“Got any plans?” Ino was asking him.

He shook his head. “Sleeping! And maybe some more sleeping after that.”

“Oh look, it’s him,” Sakura said, nudging Ino’s side.

Naruto looked over and saw Sasuke walking across the lawn.

Ino turned and waved to him. “Sasuke!” she called, with a bright grin.

“Ino!” Naruto shrieked, turning bright red. He grabbed her arm and pulled it down. “What are you doing?!”

“Hey, I’m his classmate,” Ino said. “I’m allowed.”

Naruto sighed, and looked over to see Sasuke standing still a little away from them, staring at them.

“You’re so _embarrassing_ ,” he hissed to Ino, and he picked up his bag and rushed over to Sasuke to apologise for his hideous friend.

“I’m so sorry,” he said to Sasuke. “She’s just trying to embarrass me.”

Sasuke shrugged, and looked at him, an odd expression on his face. “That’s the girl in my calculus class, right?” he asked.

Naruto blinked, a little surprised that Sasuke didn’t sound so sure about that. “Uh, yeah. Oh hey, anyway! I spent _hours_ practicing last night, and I’m sure I can beat you now! Wanna come over again?”

Sasuke stared back at him, silent for a moment, and then he frowned. “Oh, you mean that game. Today? Um, no, I’ve got- plans.”

Naruto’s face fell. _Plans_ , huh? Okay then. “Alright, never mind then,” he said, trying not to look too disappointed.

“It’s just that, Itachi was really mad last night,” Sasuke went on. “We kinda had a fight.”

Oh wait, so maybe he actually _was_ in real trouble? “What’s that like?” Naruto found himself asking out of the blue. “Fighting with your family?”

Sasuke looked confused. “Um…I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know what it would be like with a _normal_ family. With Itachi, we just yell at each other and then ignore each other, but then there’s the guilt.”

“The guilt?” Naruto repeated.

“…yeah. So, I said I’d hang out with him this afternoon to make up for it.”

“Oh,” Naruto said. He felt slightly happier; it seemed he had legitimate plans after all. “Well, that’s nice! What are you doing?”

Sasuke looked down, and Naruto noticed his cheeks had gone slightly pink. … _so cute_!!

“Not something you’d be interested in. There’s this second-hand bookshop near our apartment. They have these sales sometimes.”

A bookshop, huh? “So your brother’s a bookworm like you are?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Sasuke said. “And these sales are- intense. He loves them. He makes me go with him to carry all the books he gets. And the medical books are _heavy_ ,” he added with a pout.

Somehow, all Naruto could imagine was a glaring Sasuke piled in books, staring out at the world with resentment. Hmm.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll have fun,” he said with a smile.

Sasuke shrugged. “Mm. Maybe. Anyway, I’ve gotta go.” He shifted his bag on his back, and nodded to Naruto before starting to walk off.

Naruto made sure to keep smiling as he waved. “Yeah, okay, bye!”

He watched Sasuke go, feeling slightly stunned; the two of them had just had what seemed like a normal conversation. And if Sasuke hadn’t have had plans, would he have actually said yes to Naruto?! No, no, it wasn’t possible…but what if it _was_?!

***

Naruto’s Friday night was pretty boring, after that. He sighed, and after an uneventful evening he went to bed and tried to go to sleep. Tomorrow was a new day, after all. If only Sasuke had given him his phone number, maybe he could have invited him over for another time. And maybe Sasuke would even have said yes.

And then his phone vibrated beside him, and he reached out to grab it, squinting at the bright light.

 _Itachi bought **16** books_ , the message simply read, from an unknown number.

Naruto’s heart started beating wildly in his chest. It _had_ to be Sasuke! No way, Sasuke was _texting_ him?! Wait, wait, _how_ was Sasuke texting him? He didn’t even take Naruto’s number- it was still on the couch!

 He quickly typed out a reply. _Did you sneak into my apartment and get my number off the couch??_ he typed, and hit send.

Then he waited. And waited. And after what seemed like an eternity, his phone finally buzzed again and he snatched it up. _No_ , _I just had it memorised_ , it read.

Naruto grinned. Sasuke had texted him back!! But hang on… _You only saw it for like ten seconds_ , he typed.

 _…I’ve got an eidetic memory. I don’t need that long to memorise something_ , his phone buzzed again.

 _A what?_ Naruto thought, opening up a webpage on his phone and googling it.

 _Seriously??_ he asked Sasuke. _That’s amazing! Is that how you got so good at that game?_

A few minutes passed, seeming like an eternity to Naruto, whose heart was pounding in his chest the whole time. He couldn’t believe this!

 _According to the internet, my scores weren’t that good. Your scores were just very bad_ , Sasuke texted him.

Narutogrinned until his face hurt; they were texting! This was _amazing_. He gleefully added Sasuke’s number to his contacts list, adding it to his favourites list.

 _I’m going to bed_ , his phone buzzed. _Don’t you dare call me in the middle of the night_.

Naruto’s grin widened. _Whatever you say Sas. ‘Night!!_

***

Naruto followed Sasuke’s instructions perfectly, and didn’t call or text him at all until the next morning, waiting until after 9 am just to be safe. He’d been really nervous texting him, especially when Sasuke didn’t respond for fifteen minutes, but after that, they’d texted back and forth for _hours_ before Ino called him.

“He wants me to come see him at the hospital,” Naruto whined to Ino over the phone, filling his best friend in on all that had happened in the past few days. “Isn’t that crazy??”

He hadn’t told her about this yesterday; he’d been really weirded out about it, and he figured he was never actually going to go to the hospital- but now he wasn’t so sure.

“Is it?” Ino said back. “It’s pretty normal to want to know someone’s intentions. You’d know that, if you dated guys our age.”

Naruto frowned. It couldn’t be _normal_ , the way Itachi stared at him. It was _crazy_.

“Itachi’s just his brother,” Naruto went on. “I don’t see why it’s any of his business what my intentions are. Which are perfectly pure, by the way!”

Ino scoffed at that. Naruto could hear Sakura’s voice in the background and he grinned. It sounded like the two of them were having a good Saturday.

“Any sane person would be worried about _your_ intentions, Naruto, especially with a guy like Sasuke. And Sasuke’s brother is his guardian, right?”

“His guardian?” Naruto asked. “What do you mean?” He waved to Sai as he spoke on the phone; his roommate had finally emerged from his bedroom- he liked to sleep in.

“I mean, they don’t have any parents, right?” Ino said.

Naruto froze. “Um, _what_?!” he asked. “What do you mean? Of course they do!”

There was a pause on the other end before Ino started talking again. “I don’t think they do, Naruto. There were…rumours.”

No, that couldn’t be true- it couldn’t be! Naruto’s mind started swirling. Just because Sasuke had never mentioned his parents, and he was always around Itachi, and Itachi seemed to control him-

_Where Sasuke is concerned, my opinion of things is all that matters._

…that’s what Itachi had said. Wait, so…was he really Sasuke’s _guardian_?!

“Ino,” he said, his voice low and troubled. “What- what happened to them?”

“I have no idea,” she said back. “It’s just what I heard. I’m sorry, sweetie. I assumed you knew.”

He _didn’t_ know. He’d had no idea. And if it were really true- god, that was _awful._ Naruto’s heart sank. Was that why Sasuke was- sick? Why he was- well, the way he was?

“I didn’t know,” he said, his voice trembling a little. “…what should I do? Should I ask him about it?”

Ino sighed over the phone. “Maybe you should go speak to his brother,” she suggested. “I know it seems weird to you. But you’re out of your depth with this one, honey.”

Well, that had been true even _before_ this revelation. “Maybe it’s not true,” he said.

“Maybe,” Ino said back. “Like I said, it was just a rumour.”

“Maybe I should go and talk to Itachi.”

“Maybe you should.”

He sighed, and fished the card that Itachi had given him out of the couch cushions. One of the times written on there was today. He should just get it over and done with. He needed to know, soon, before he spoke to Sasuke again and messed everything up by saying something stupid.

 _I’m such an idiot_. He started replaying all his conversations with Sasuke in his mind. What had he said? Had he upset Sasuke in any way? Well, he’d annoyed him, for sure, but Sasuke was still talking to him, he was even texting him now of his own free will. So…maybe it was okay?

***

Naruto slunk into the hospital, looking around him cautiously. Itachi had said that Sasuke wouldn’t be around during these times, but how could he know that for sure? Seeing Sasuke was the last thing he needed right now. God, he was so nervous. He’d never done something like this before.

He wondered around outside the emergency room, and before long Itachi spotted him and nodded to him.

“Naruto,” he said, his voice and expression completely neutral. “I didn’t think you’d actually come.”

“yeah, well,” Naruto said back. “…you know.” _Lame. You’re an idiot._

“…right,” Itachi said. “There’s a private waiting room around the corner. We’ll talk there.”

“Okay,” Naruto said, shrugging his shoulders and hoping he didn’t look as freaked out as he felt. He had to keep it together here! Just stay calm and all that.

Itachi ushered him into a room, leaving the door open behind them. Naruto sat, but Itachi didn’t; he just leaned on the wall next to the door and stared at him. God, he was so much like Sasuke; it was weird.

“So, um,” Naruto began. “I-”

“Why are you interested in my brother?” Itachi interrupted.

Naruto blinked. So they were getting right into it, huh? No preliminaries. Okay then.

He coughed and cleared his throat. “Oh, um, well,” he stammered. “Me and Sasuke, you know- well, Sasuke’s just so…so…”

“So?” Itachi prompted.

“…smart,” Naruto managed to get out. Yeah, that was alright. He was smart.

“I see,” Itachi said to that, narrowing his eyes. “But it’s not a good idea. You should leave him alone.”

Naruto clenched his fists against the armrests. How dare he say something like that! “Hey!” Naruto cried. “What’s your problem?! If I like him and he likes me-”

“The situation is very complicated,” Itachi said, interrupting him again. “Too complicated for you to handle.”

Naruto growled under his breath. “What would _you_ know about what I can handle? And besides, nothing’s even happened yet, and I don’t see why-”

“Sasuke is very sick, Naruto. You know that, don’t you?”

Naruto scowled and looked away. He wasn’t _stupid_ ; yeah, maybe Ino had needed to point out the exact word for it, but obviously he’d known right away that something wasn’t quite- right.

“So what if he is?” Naruto muttered. “That means he can’t have any friends? He can’t date anyone?”

“Preferably not,” Itachi said. “He needs to focus on himself.”

“You know, I bet he’d be _furious_ to know you were talking about him like this,” Naruto said, glancing back at Itachi, whose face looked just as passive as before- as if they weren’t having such an infuriating conversation. What was with this guy?! “And you can’t control his life, so-”

“If you cared about him, you’d stay away. He’ll be much more hurt, when things go wrong later down the line.”

“That’s not fair,” Naruto said, his whole body tensing up. “I do care about him! I stayed with him that whole time at the nurse’s room, and I even researched all that anorexia stuff, so don’t-”

“Oh, you researched it, did you?” Itachi said, raising an eyebrow ever-so-slightly.

Naruto was so mad he couldn’t see straight. He turned his face away from him and tried to breath, tried to count to ten. Getting into it with Sasuke’s brother was obviously just going to prove whatever ideas he had about him. And it didn’t even matter what Itachi thought, it only mattered what _Sasuke_ thought.

“I don’t think you understand entirely,” Itachi went on, in that flat, empty voice of his. “Sasuke has been sick for a very long time, and he’s not likely to get better any time soon.”

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” Naruto muttered. “You make it sound like you- like he…” He sighed, and counted to ten again; and then slumped heavily against the back of his chair. There was no point to all this. He shouldn’t have even come, but…he needed to know.

He glanced up at Itachi, who was still staring back at him steadily; he hadn’t moved the whole time they’d been talking.

“Is…is it true about your parents?” Naruto asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

A flicker of something like surprise flashed over Itachi’s face. “That they died? Yes, that’s true. Almost three years ago, now.”

Naruto sunk further into his chair. Three years. So, Sasuke had been…fifteen? He winced. “Um,” he went on. “Is that when he- when he got sick?”

“No,” Itachi said. “He was sick long before that. It’s been more than six years now.”

 _Six years_?? Sasuke had been like this since he was- _twelve_? Naruto stopped breathing for a moment and felt light-headed. Oh, Ino was right; he was _way_ out of his depth here.

“I’m only answering your questions so that you’ll do the right thing,” Itachi went on. “As you said, Sasuke wouldn’t be happy to know I’m telling you all this.”

“The right thing,” he murmured.

“Stay away from him, Naruto. I’m not saying it to hurt you, or him. But I know what’s best for him.”

“I don’t think that’s fair,” Naruto went on, stammering. “You don’t know me.”

“I’m your doctor. I’ve seen your records.”

Naruto stared up at him, eyes opening wide in surprise. Just what was he getting at?! How much did he really know?!

“Things haven’t been easy for you, either,” Itachi said, and his face softened just a little.

Naruto went rigid, and flushed bright red. Just who the hell did this guy think he was, talking to him like this?!

“I’ve heard enough,” he said, standing up. “Let me through.”

Itachi gazed back at him, but eventually he nodded, and stepped aside. “Think about it, Naruto,” he said, as Naruto pushed past him and stormed out of the hospital.

***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...a LOT happened in this chapter @_@. Be sure to stop by and say hi in the comments, and maybe let me know what you thought! This has become a pretty difficult story for me to write so far, and I feel like I'm taking a lot of risks with it, so I really do appreciate ALL of your feedback!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warning for anorexia & depression.**
> 
> So for this chapter, **we’re switching from Naruto’s POV to Sasuke’s** \- something I didn’t initially plan to do, but I think it’s probably important to hear his voice at least a little bit (especially for getting more insight into his and Itachi’s relationship). The writing style is quite different here, so I hope it isn’t too jarring!!

They’d texted back and forth for hours on Saturday morning, but after midday, nothing. There’d been nothing left to do but drag himself out of bed and begin his day. The rest of the weekend passed like it usually did, with a mixture of homework, reading, and chores. And now it was Sunday night, and that moron still hadn’t texted him back.

Sasuke sat at the kitchen table, picking at his dinner of rice and beans, scrolling through the messages from Naruto. Their conversation had just ended right in the middle. It was strange. He wondered if something had happened.

“Did you get your uni assignment done?” Itachi asked, from where he sat next to him at the table.

“Hm? Oh, not yet,” he answered. It’d been pretty hard to concentrate lately, and the assignment was boring anyway. “I’ve got another few days to finish it. It’s no big deal.”

“Alright,” Itachi said. “If you’re sure.”

“You could finish it for me, if you like,” he said, flashing his brother a quick smile.

“Pass,” Itachi said back, the aversion clearly showing on his face. “How you can spend so much time with _numbers_ , I’ll never know.”

“You’re one to talk,” Sasuke murmured. He would never understand why Itachi was willing to spend so much time in hospitals. But becoming a doctor had been his dream for as long as Sasuke could remember- even after everything they’d been through.

Well, it must be nice to be so sure about things. He took another bite of rice, shoving the beans aside.

He reached for his phone again. Still nothing. Maybe it was his turn. _Are you coming to school tomorrow_ , he quickly typed, and hit send.

 “You’ve been glued to that thing all weekend, Sasuke,” Itachi said. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Sasuke said with a shrug, pushing the phone away. “I thought it might be broken. It’s fine, though.”

“Well, hurry up and finish your dinner, and then we can keep watching that movie from last night.”

“Mm,” Sasuke responded, and continued to pick at his rice without enthusiasm.  He noticed Itachi glancing at his pile of discarded beans and giving him a look; Sasuke smiled back at him and made sure to eat one with his next bite, earning him a nod of approval.

 “And you got your work for school done, right?” Itachi went on. “Your physics report?”

“Under control,” he said. He had a long list of assignments, projects, and exams standing between him and graduation, and he was slowly ticking them all off. High school was a drag; getting to leave at the end of the year was something to look forward to.

Although. “Hey,” Sasuke said, glancing at his phone. “You’re not working tomorrow, right? Can you pick me up from uni and take me to school?” He had a two-hour class at the local university campus first thing on Monday mornings; he was meant to go to school after that for afternoon classes.

“You want to go to school?” Itachi said, raising an eyebrow.

Sasuke shrugged, keeping his expression blank. “Might as well. Eventually the teachers will get annoyed, if I keep skipping.”

Itachi frowned. “You don’t usually bother on Mondays-”

“What’s the big deal? I’ll take the bus if you want, but I’ll miss more classes.”

“You probably don’t need to be going at all anymore,” Itachi went on. “Your grades have been fine, I’m sure you can graduate after the exams.”

Sasuke had, in fact, been trying to convince his brother of this for months. Why bother with school at all, with his early acceptance into uni already in place? But he’d insisted- until now, apparently; and Sasuke was pretty sure he knew why.

He stood up abruptly and pushed his chair back; it scrapped across the floor with a high-pitched screech. He picked up his still half-full bowl and took it to the sink, dumping the leftovers in the bin. “You’re the one who wanted me to have a normal last year,” he said to Itachi. “Make friends. Have fun and all that.”

“Finish your dinner, Sasuke,” Itachi said.

“No,” Sasuke said back. “No gold star for me tonight.” He left the room, grabbing his phone from the table as he went. “I’ll skip the movie, I need to finish that assignment.”

“Sasuke-”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

And there was still no response from Naruto.

***

He hadn’t slept well, but it didn’t matter; his Monday-morning class wasn’t too taxing, and Itachi chose to stay mercifully silent when driving him to school, rather than continuing last night’s conversation.

He arrived at school during lunch. He passed the cafeteria on his way to his normal lunch spot, and paused in the doorway for a moment. The idiot was there, with two of his friends, but he didn’t seem his usual self. He was just…sitting there, staring at the table-top. Sasuke could see he had his phone next to him, so he hadn’t lost it or anything.

As he stood there, Naruto picked up his phone, and Sasuke had a sudden memory of the blonde taking his hands on Thursday afternoon when they’d been playing that video game, re-arranging his fingers over the controller. He’d done it like it was nothing, and Sasuke had tried his best not to tense up; anyway, he’d let go a few moments later and it was over.

No one touched him at all these days, except for maybe Itachi. Everyone else was very careful not to.

Sasuke turned and walked away before Naruto could spot him. He was probably sick. He looked just as tired as Sasuke felt.

The rest of the day passed without incident; his classes were boring, as usual, and he didn’t speak to anyone, and no-one spoke to him, also as usual. After school he did his homework, and then he and Itachi cleaned the apartment; Itachi always cleaned the kitchen and the bathrooms, and Sasuke cleaned the living room and did the laundry. They had dinner; steak and salad for Itachi, some salad for Sasuke. Sasuke read for a while, and then went to bed.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed in much the same way. On Tuesday he had Calculus as his last class, but there wasn’t anyone waiting for him outside the hallway when class ended. No-one followed him out of school. And no more texts.

Things were back to normal. He had a routine, and it worked, more or less. At least, that’s what he said to his new councillor on Wednesday afternoon, at his first session with her.

“You don’t find your study load too much?” she asked him, examining the schedule he’d given her.

“No,” Sasuke answered. “I wanted to take another class, but Itachi didn’t think it was a good idea.”

She nodded at that. “You’ve caught up from the year you missed, and it looks like you’re on track to go straight to your third year at uni. There’s no need to push too hard, is there?”

“I guess not,” he said. Wouldn’t want to do anything _risky_ now, would he?

“Hmm, well,” the councillor went on. “It does seem like it’s working for you. Your latest doctor’s report was good. Your weight’s been steady for more than a year now.”

Wonderful. He tried not to cringe. He hated this part of his sessions, especially with someone new. And he wasn’t sure about this one, either; she seemed a bit…hippy-ish. Long skirt, long hair, no shoes; sitting cross-legged, sipping tea. Well, he’d had worse- he’d been seeing different doctors and phycologists almost constantly since he was fourteen.

“Although,” she said, glancing at her pile of records again, “we’d really be expecting you to be _gaining_ weight, at this stage of your recovery.”

He didn’t say anything to that, just sat back in his chair. She glanced over at him, looking at his face and posture, and a few long moments of silence passed.

“Well,” she said eventually, snapping her folder shut and sliding it onto the table. “We don’t have to talk about that now. Why don’t you tell me about what else has been happening in your life?”

“What else?” he repeated, doubtfully. Were they going to talk about dreams now, his ambitions? “It’s all in those files.”

“Is it?” she asked. “What about- friends? Boyfriends?”

He tensed, and shifted on the chair, biting back a frown. _That_ was an awfully big assumption to make. Surely that wasn’t written anywhere in the records? Maybe she’d been speaking with Itachi. He stared at her, suddenly suspicious.

“Just a guess,” she said. “Am I wrong?”

He scowled, and looked away. “I don’t want to talk about any of that,” he said.

“Okay,” she said back, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

Ugh. So she was one of _those_ , those constantly happy, cheery people who never got upset about anything.

But then, Naruto certainly seemed down about something, this week.

He sighed. “I don’t really…do any of that,” he said, reluctantly. Might as well get this part of the discussion over.

“It’s not unusual for people with anorexia to not be interested in sex,” she said, and Sasuke looked over at her in shock, eyes wide. To just come out and say it like that! What kind of councillor was this?! “And with the medication you’re on as well-”

“I know that,” he snapped, growling under his breath. At least his other councillors hadn’t pushed him on it; this was just _rude_!

“There’s no-one?” she went on, insistent, still smiling that placid little smile.

“No-one!” he said back, crossing his arms across his chest. “Why would there be?”

“Hmm,” she said. “Well-”

“Did my brother say something to you?!” he demanded; that would be just like him! He’d been so angry when Sasuke had missed his last appointment last week.

His councillor just smiled, and gave him what was probably meant to be a reassuring look. She picked up her mug again and took a long sip of her tea.

“Are you sure I can’t get you anything to drink?” she asked. “I’ve got quite a collection.”

 _I’m sure you do_. “I’m fine,” he growled.

She nodded, placing her mug down carefully. “This is _your_ session, Sasuke. I haven’t spoken to your brother at all, and I won’t, unless you ask me to.”

“Good,” he muttered. There’d been a time, a few years ago, when Itachi came to all of his sessions. It had been awful.

Sasuke knew all about the side effects of his medication; it’s not like it mattered. He wasn’t even interested in _talking_ to other people, let alone doing anything else. And it had been a long time since he’d felt- anything. He frowned, and looked down at the floor. At least that’d what he’d _say_ , if she pushed him on this.

He picked his jacket up from next to him and slipped it on, shivering a bit, and then crossed his arms again, hugging them across his chest. Why was it so cold in here? He ran his fingers absent-mindedly down his left arm.

 _No_ , he thought with a frown. _She doesn’t need to know anything about him._

“There’s no-one,” he said, and his voice came out calm and steady. He stared back at her until she nodded.

“Alright,” she said. “Well, let’s talk a bit about your plans for the rest of the year, and that should do us for today’s session.”

***

Sasuke stared at the small plate of salad Itachi had left for his dinner. He had absolutely no desire to eat it. But then he noticed that the carrots had been cut up into little flowers. He rolled his eyes, picked up the plate, and took it into the living room.

He settled down on the couch with a book and ate as he read. Once it was almost all gone, he grabbed his phone and took a picture of the nearly empty plate and his hand holding one of the carrot-flowers. He sent it to Itachi, adding a quick note: _you’re such a geek._

An hour later he got a reply: _and you’re a brat. It better not still be on the plate when I get home. See you soon._

It was almost midnight before Itachi finally did get home; Sasuke was still on the couch, wrapped up in an oversized blanket now, and was almost finished the book he was reading. Itachi joined him on the couch, and glanced at the single piece of carrot still left on the plate.

“I left it for you,” Sasuke murmured as he continued to read.

“Very thoughtful,” Itachi said back. “How’s your new councillor? Do you like her?”

Sasuke thought about it. She was…different. She certainly went places that no-one else had dared to go. But still. “I don’t _not_ like her. She’s a bit strange.”

“How so?” Itachi asked, stealing some of the blanket.

“She drank at least three cups of camomile tea during my session,” Sasuke answered.

“I see,” Itachi said. “That’s a little excessive.”

Sasuke marked the page of the book he was reading and then put it down beside him. “I told her I was bored. She said I should try something new. Get a hobby.”

“Reading’s a hobby,” his brother said, reaching out to take the book from the table. “I haven’t read this one yet. Is it any good?”

“Not bad,” Sasuke replied. “But she meant a hobby that involved _other people_.”

“Ah,” Itachi said, flicking through the book. “I see. And what are you going to do about that?”

“I was already doing something about it, you know,” Sasuke said. “I learnt how to play video games last week.”

Itachi paused for a moment, and then carefully, delicately, placed the book back on the table. “So you want to buy some video games?” he said, his voice tight.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at him. “Why would I need to do that? I can just keep playing them with Naruto.”

Itachi narrowed _his_ eyes as well, and folded his arms across his chest. “And he’s the _other people_ , is he?”

Sasuke needed to be careful now. He didn’t want to push Itachi too far. He knew his brother really didn’t like Naruto. Maybe that was fair enough. Sasuke certainly hadn’t thought all that highly of him at first (and at second, and third, really), even if he _had_ thought that the blonde moron was the most stunning human being he’d ever seen.

He shrugged. “I haven’t seen him around that much, this week.” That should make Itachi happy.

Sure enough, Itachi relaxed his shoulders and his expression softened. “Neither of you has fallen unconscious this week,” he said. “You don’t have many other places you’d see him. Maybe you should find a friend you have more in common with.”

“You know very well I don’t want him as a _friend_ ,” Sasuke said, pulling the blanket away from him and wrapping it further around himself. His brother was being stupid; stupid people didn’t deserve blankets. Sasuke may not have made his interest in Naruto _explicitly_ clear, but he hadn’t been overly vague, either.

Itachi sighed and stood up. “And we were so close to getting through high school without any of this drama.”

“It’s not a _drama_ ,” Sasuke retorted.

“Isn’t it?” Itachi said back, reaching out to ruffle his hair before he left the room. “You keep staring at your phone, but he’s not texting back, is he?”

Sasuke scowled and moved out of his reach. He didn’t think Itachi had clued in that far to what had been going on. “Hey-”

“Forget him,” his brother said, heading for the bathroom. “Go to bed soon, okay? I’ll see you in the morning.”

Sasuke continued to scowl at the door he’d disappeared through. What a stupid brother. Find someone he had things in common with? Who did he have more in common with than Naruto?

***

It was Friday afternoon. He’d come to school every day this week, as well as his two mornings at uni. He’d done all his homework and handed in all his assignments. He was already ahead in his reading and preparation for next week. It looked like he had a long weekend of nothing ahead of him.

He slumped through the hallways on his way out of school. Things could be worse, he knew that- they could be a _lot_ worse. Like they had been a few years ago. He was okay now; he was _stable_. But still, did things have to be so…flat? There just wasn’t anything to look forward to. What he’d said to Itachi and his councillor had been true; he was bored. Bored of his life, bored of counting calories, taking medication, staying healthy. Classes, homework, reading.

 _Just be careful, Sasuke_ , said a voice in his head, sounding suspiciously like his brother’s; _don’t take on more than you can handle_. _Better safe than sorry._

Safe…well.

He took his time leaving school, stopping by the library on his way out; by the time he got out of the building, the grounds had pretty much cleared of students, and he could walk home with slightly less noise and chaos around him. He was tired; he’d probably have a nap before Itachi got home. Why not?

He glanced around him as he walked across field on the way home, then he stopped, spotting something a little way away; someone lying on the grass near the trees. … _Naruto_ …?

Sasuke stared at the blonde lying there in the sun, his jacket tossed to one side, his shoes discarded. This guy…yes, he was more than a little strange. Who hung out next to their school like this? He was half-undressed, practically; even his shirt was riding up. Yes, Sasuke was staring. He couldn’t help it. For weeks he’d seen Naruto pretty much every day, at least for a few minutes; but this week? He’d had to chase him down himself, like some kind of…

 _Creep?_ he asked himself.

And then suddenly he wasn’t tired any more; he was _angry_. How could Naruto just start ignoring him like he’d done?! It wasn’t _right_ \- you couldn’t just do that!

He stormed over there, and then stopped. Wait, was he- _smoking_? There he was, lying on his back on the grass, eyes closed, with a cigarette in one hand. As Sasuke stood there watching, he brought it to his mouth lazily, and breathed the smoke out into the air.

“Naruto!” he hissed, looking down at him.

Naruto opened his eyes slowly and looked up, squinting at him. “Sasuke…?” he murmured, with a confused little frown.

And as usual, just the way the idiot said his name sent a flurry of shivers down his spine. He ignored them. “Are you _smoking_?!” he demanded.

Naruto blinked, and looked at his hand. “Uh…yeah,” he said, sounding slightly surprised to discover this.

What a _moron_. “Well don’t!” Sasuke said back.

Naruto stared at him for a moment, evidently considering his options. “…okay,” he said eventually, stabbing the cigarette down into the grass. “I’m trying to quit you know,” he added.

Sasuke sat down on the grass beside him and glared. “You don’t smoke anything _else_ , do you?” he asked, ignoring the _trying to quit_ comment. “Please tell me you’re not that stupid!”

“Uh,” said Naruto, rubbing his cheek and looking bashful. “Do you mean, like, smoke _regularly_ , or just ever in my life?”

“Naruto!” he hissed.

“Yeah, well, things happened, okay?” Naruto said back, still looking bashful, but less dazed about it now. “Sometimes I was just bored, or wanted to try it…”

Honestly. He sincerely hoped that he hadn’t been caught ‘trying’ any of it, otherwise it might be in his records and Itachi might see it. “And _now_?”

Naruto shook his head hard. “No!” he said. “Definitely not, I swear!”

“Not even when you’re _bored_?”

“Ah, well, I’ve got different things to keep myself entertained now, so…”

Sasuke chose not to inquire further about that; he didn’t want to know. Besides, that wasn’t why he’d come over here- he had other things to get angry at Naruto for.

“You’ve been avoiding me, Naruto,” he said, staring right into his face,

Naruto promptly averted his eyes, looking over to the trees beside them. “Have I?” he said. “I don’t think-”

“You _have_ been,” Sasuke interrupted. “You were meant to show me that other game on Sunday.”

“Right,” he murmured, still not looking at him. “Anything but Mortal Kombat again.” He was looking properly guilty, frowning, his eyes downcast. Naruto’s face was an open book, and Sasuke could read him easily. “Um, well, something came up, and…”

“And?” Sasuke prompted. “It kept coming up, all week?”

“But Sasuke, you told me yourself to stop being a creep, so…”

So? No, that wasn’t it. Something had changed between them, last week; Sasuke may not have had all that much experience with all this, but he _knew_ something had changed. And then something had happened. Had he lost interest? Had he suddenly met someone else? Had Sasuke said something wrong?

But there he was, fidgeting, glancing at Sasuke from the corner of his eye, cheeks slightly pink; and he’d greeted him like he always had, that same almost-breathless way he said Sasuke’s name.

 Sasuke scanned his face again, noting the dark circles under his eyes, and his pale skin. Maybe the problem wasn’t _him_.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “Are you sick?”

“Sick?” Naruto murmured. “Um…I don’t think so.” He pushed himself up off the grass so he was sitting in front of him. “Hey, so, maybe I haven’t been hanging all over you this week, but I didn’t think you’d even notice, really. I mean, I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.”

Oh sure, like sit at home alone and do more homework. Like always.

“Something happened,” Sasuke said. “On Saturday. You were texting about how much you like my eyes-”

Naruto actually blushed then, his cheeks turning a violent red colour instantly. “Sasuke!” he screeched. “I swear, nothing happened, I just did what you told me and stopped being annoying!”

“Well, let’s go then,” Sasuke said, preparing to get up.

Naruto blinked, and frowned. “Um- go? Go where?”

“To your house, moron. To play video games.”

“…oh!” Naruto said, looking alarmed. He reached up to grab Sasuke’s wrist and pull him back down to the grass. “Um, that sounds great, but-”

“What _happened_?” Sasuke demanded, not pulling his hand away like he usually would. “Just _tell_ me, or I’ll start guessing. And believe me, I’ll know when I guess right!”

Naruto looked down at the grass, still blushing; he let go of Sasuke’s arm and instead held his hands tight in his lap, fidgeting. Then his eyes widened and he looked up. “It’s embarrassing,” he said, his voice intent. “So…”

_He’s preparing to lie to me._

“I’m sure it’s embarrassing, it’s _you_ ,” Sasuke said back. Embarrassing things probably happened to him all the time. “But tell me anyway!”

Naruto sighed. “Well…see, I probably should have known- it kinda seems like everyone else knows but, I don’t know, I don’t really listen when other people talk, so…”

Sasuke felt his stomach sink and his face run cold. If Naruto was going to invent a reason to stay away from him, did it have to be this?

Naruto continued talking, and Sasuke forced himself to keep listening. “But anyway, Ino told me about…um, about your…”

“My parents,” Sasuke said, in a hard voice.

“Yeah…” Naruto said, his own voice small, and soft.

“And what? What difference did that make?” he demanded. Naruto had known there was something wrong with Sasuke from the moment they’d met; think about where they met, honestly! And he knew that Sasuke was- different than other people. And still he’d been interested, v _ery_ interested- annoyingly interested. No, this wasn’t it.

“It’s just that,” Naruto went on, “I was worried that I might say something stupid, because people say I don’t have a filter and I just blurt things out, so-”

“You’ve already said a million stupid things and you haven’t cared. You’re _lying_ ,” Sasuke said.

Naruto looked over at him with those wide, blue eyes of his. “Sasuke,” he said. “I just, look, it’s-”

“You don’t have parents either,” he interrupted, feeling a slight pang of guilt at the way Naruto winced when he said it. “You _know_ what it’s like. You know how it feels when people avoid you because of it.”

“Yeah, but-”

“You’re not like everyone else,” Sasuke went on. “You didn’t look at me like everyone else does. Not when you knew I was sick, and not even now.”

Naruto looked away. “Please don’t be angry at me,” he said, almost whispering. “Up until last week I didn’t think you…but anyway, it’s just not a good idea, is it? I mean…”

 _Not a good idea_. Why? Because it wasn’t _safe_? Because Naruto was a massive idiot who might say something to upset him? Because he had his own problems? Well, maybe Sasuke should just avoid everyone in the world then. Everyone had problems. He’d just thought that maybe Naruto would actually understand some of his own.

 “Says who?” Sasuke asked, glaring. “Who says it’s not a good idea? Because up until Saturday, you were acting like it was a _great_ idea.”

He was still fidgeting and looking supremely uncomfortable, as he _should_ , he was still holding back. “No, well, I mean,” Naruto stammered, “probably lots of people, I’m sure your brother-”

Sasuke froze. _Oh, no_ , he thought. _What did he **do**_?!

“My brother?” Sasuke hissed. “What did he say?!”

Naruto’s eyes widened and he visibly recoiled, moving away from him. “No, Sasuke, I didn’t mean-”

“What did he _say_ , Naruto?!” His brother was the most infuriating, overprotective, frustrating person in the _world_ -

“Sas, wait!” Naruto said, when Sasuke made to get up, snatching at his bag. “He didn’t-”

No, it was clear that was _exactly_ what had happened, it was written all over his face, and Sasuke felt like he should have known it. Of _course_ Itachi had done something. Of course he would interfere. His brother would spend the rest of his life trying to make everything right- what _he_ thought was right.

Sasuke couldn’t believe that Naruto had let himself be scared off.

“I thought better of you than that,” he growled, as Naruto scrambled to his feet next to him.

“Sasuke, please, don’t- I didn’t mean-”

 “I got it,” he said, storming off and not looking back.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I hope you all like it! Writing from Sas’s POV is definitely more difficult for me than Naruto...
> 
> I’ll be going on writing hiatus to focus on studying for a while, so no updates in the immediate future. I doubt I’ll be able to stay away for too long though. This story had really got it’s claws into me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, I’m still on writing hiatus…do people not write when they’re on hiatus? *cough* anyway…I’ve had this chapter in my head for a while, so. We’re getting another chapter of Sasuke here, and then back to Naruto for chapter seven! I hope you guys like it!
> 
>  **TRIGGER WARNING for, in addition to the usual anorexia and depression, mentions of other mental illnesses, and a reference to cutting and self-harm.** (I do want to point out though, that Sasuke has never attempted suicide or been suicidal- not sure if that comes across clear enough in this chapter.)

Sasuke was angry, and he didn’t care if the whole world knew about it! He had had _enough_ of Itachi, how _dare_ he interfere, and how did it take Sasuke so long to figure it out?! _Would_ he have figured it out, if that moron hadn’t have slipped up?

“I should have _known_ he’d done something!” Sasuke ranted to his therapist. “He’s the most controlling, arrogant jerk! How could he?!”

His therapist sat forward in her chair, staying silent for moment to confirm that Sasuke had paused in his ranting. “Is this something he’s done before?” she asked him, pencil perched over her notes.

“Yes!” Sasuke replied, waving his hands around in anger. “He wants to control _everything_! He chooses all my doctors and preps them on what they should and shouldn’t say to me. He’s met all my teachers, even at uni- can you believe that?! It’s- mortifying!”

It was _beyond_ mortifying; who else had family members tracking down their lecturers? It was so embarrassing- it was bad enough that he stood out so much on campus, but then he had to sit in class just imagining all the things his crazy brother had said to them. He couldn’t stand it!

The therapist nodded, scribbling things down in her notes. “Yes, I’m sure it’s quite difficult for you. I can believe it, though. That’d he’d do those things. He sounds very protective.”

“He’s more than protective!” Sasuke scowled; ‘protective’- that didn’t even _begin_ to cover some of the things Itachi had said and done. “It’s getting ridiculous, I’m eighteen now! He needs to stop doing this!”

“Hmm,” she murmured, sitting back in her chair and flipping through the pages in her lap. She paused, and gave him a long, scrutinising look. “He _does_ still have legal control over some aspects of your life, right? Your medical decisions, for example.”

…yes, _that_ was certainly true. Itachi had made it very clear to him that his eighteenth birthday was just a technicality. _Nothing has to change, Sasuke_ …that’s what he’d said. Of course, Sasuke kept living in their apartment- it belonged to both of them- and he was still going to high school and taking classes at uni- so his eighteenth birthday really didn’t feel like anything significant. But _still_.

Sasuke pouted, and crossed his arms across his chest. “It’s not right. And whenever I question him on it, he just- he just-” He stopped, and then looked down.

“He just?” she prompted, gazing at him and taking a sip of her tea. “Sasuke?”

…well, he…whenever their fights got too serious, Itachi would… Sasuke sat back on the couch, and felt his rage evaporate right of him.

“He…makes that face,” Sasuke said, seeing it clearly in his mind. “Where he just looks…sad. Really, really sad.” As if Sasuke had just ripped his heart out and stomped on it. Itachi had a lot of expressions- not that anyone else really saw any of them. But this one…Sasuke was pretty sure Itachi tried hard not to let it show.

“Ahh, I see,” she said to that. “And then you feel…?”

“Guilty,” he muttered. Of _course_ he felt guilty. “Really guilty. And not just like normal, when we have a disagreement or I forget my pills for a day or something. This is- different.”

Itachi knew how to use guilt to his favour, after all; but the look on his face when Sasuke said something really awful… like how their mother wouldn’t have been like this, or how moving to this city had been the worst thing ever, or how Itachi spent more time at the hospital than he did with his own brother…

Sasuke took a deep breath. “He only started doing that face after he found out about- you know, everything,” he went on.

His therapist gave him a sympathetic little smile, and nodded. “It’s hard for you, I’m sure. And he was quite involved in your treatment after that, wasn’t he? Is that where it started- his protectiveness?”

“I guess so,” Sasuke replied, thinking it over. “Wait- no. I mean, he practically raised me. It was just him and me for a lot of the time, when we were little.”

All of Sasuke’s earliest memories were of Itachi. Apparently, ‘Tashi’ had been his first word- he could just imagine Itachi boasting about that to their parents. And whenever Itachi _really_ wanted to embarrass Sasuke, he’d remind him about how he had to change his diapers-

Sasuke shuddered. Ugh, no-one should have to deal with that, from their older brothers.

“What about your parents…?” his therapist went on, breaking Sasuke’s musing.

“Dad was always at work- always. And mum saw clients at home pretty much every day, so she’d just get Itachi to keep an eye on me.” They’d both been workaholics. No wonder they’d had no idea what was going on with him.

“So, you’ve always been close,” she said. “He had that responsibility over you.”

Not _always._ “…no, once I started school…well, Itachi started preparing for med school when he was 14- and then he got in when he was 16, and after that, he was never around.” Almost overnight, Itachi had basically disappeared from his life. “So…I didn’t see him a lot, after I was nine.”

And then not only had his parents never been around- his mother stopped working from home- but Itachi and even Shisui were never around anymore. He’d get home to an empty house. Maybe that would have been okay, if it hadn’t have been for, well. …no, they should have seen it coming.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and frowned, looking down into his hands. He shouldn’t have brought any of this up, he shouldn’t have even come to his session this week, not when he was so angry. He should have known it would go places he really didn’t want to go.

And now there was nothing for it, his therapist would just keep on talking and asking him questions. “It does seem like he became very involved in your treatment though, isn’t that right?” she said. “Even though both your parents were doctors.”

He sighed. “Because he was the one who found out, him and Shisui, so…yes, it was always his choice after that, he made our parents send me to that recovery centre for _months_ , and then- he was the one who said we should move, so…”

He grabbed his jacket and wrapped it around him. If only Itachi hadn’t found out, if he hadn’t said they should move…if Sasuke hadn’t been sick in the first place…if he…

“Sasuke,” his therapist suddenly said, sitting forward on her chair, and looking more serious than he’d ever seen her. “I do have quite a lot of notes in here on Itachi. I know he’s had his own problems, especially after your parents’ death.”

“Everyone in my family had _problems_ ,” he said with a frown. Literally, everyone. Alcoholic grandfather, OCD father, anxious mother; no wonder there was something wrong with Sasuke, too.

She nodded to acknowledge that. “There does seem to be a genetic component to mental illness, after all. And having a primary carer who’s not well themselves- it can be difficult, you see?”

Sasuke hesitated. Well, but, Itachi wasn’t that bad. He’d always seemed like the sanest one, the one with everything under control. “He’s okay though,” he finally said. Itachi took anti-depressants too, though they weren’t as strong as Sasuke’s.

“I’m sure he’s doing his best,” she said. “Wouldn’t you say that _you_ are his first priority, however?”

Well, _obviously_ Sasuke was his first priority, he was his _brother_. And- it was just the two of them, after all, and Itachi had promised-

“Are you trying to make me feel bad for getting angry at him?” he scowled. Because it was working, damn it. And maybe he shouldn’t have said all those things after he found out about what Itachi had said to Naruto, but he didn’t even try to _deny_ it, he’d just said that it was for Sasuke’s own good, and Sasuke had _snapped_ -

…and now it was five days later, and they’d barely spoken to each other at all.

She grinned at that, just quickly, before she put her therapist’s face back on. “Not at all,” she responded. “I’m merely trying to get at the heart of your relationship.”

Not a good idea. The heart of their relationship was _not_ a happy place. Sasuke sighed again. Since he’d already told her this much- and he certainly hadn’t been planning on doing it- he might as well keep going.

“He feels like every bad thing that has ever happened to me is _his_ fault,” Sasuke said. “And I can’t- I’ve tried to tell him, but he just- I can’t change his mind.”

Itachi would probably never forgive himself, for the rest of his life. Because, like he was always saying, there was no-one more important to him than Sasuke… _damn it._

Sasuke slouched back on the couch heavily. If Itachi didn’t want Sasuke to get mad, then maybe he should stop doing stupid things like trying to chase off boys he liked. Well, that he _maybe_ liked. Maybe.

“Let’s talk a bit about how you might make up with him,” his therapist said, giving him a little smile. “It would be better to not be fighting with your brother, don’t you agree?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. I guess so.”

***

Sasuke walked home, trying to drag it out as long as possible. Usually it took fifteen minutes to get back to their apartment; maybe he could make it last longer. He didn’t want to see Itachi, not yet.

He couldn’t stop thinking about the day Itachi had come home early, and caught Sasuke in his room with that little black paper knife he’d always used…whatever happened to that knife? Itachi had probably melted it. That’s something he would do.

Itachi had walked in, him and Shisui, and Sasuke had screamed at them to _get out_ , how _dare_ they, they didn’t even _knock_ , and Shisui had started panicking at the blood, and Itachi had just stood there, looking like his world had just been shattered.

…it was just a bit of blood. They didn’t have to make such a big deal out of it…but Itachi had called their parents, and Shisui had taken all the knives and scissors out of the house (honestly, what did they think he was going to do?!), and later on when Itachi took his phone and saw the messages…well, it was all over, then. Or maybe, that’s when it all started.

Because Itachi had been obsessed with him, from that moment. Obsessed? Devoted, maybe. And he’d never stopped apologising to Sasuke, saying how it was all his fault, how had he not seen that his little brother was hurting? He swore that Sasuke would never suffer again…

Well, and then their parents had died.

Sasuke scuffed his toe on the path and swore under his breath, hissing a bit at the sudden stab of pain. It wasn’t Itachi’s fault, not really. And…and he’d been in pain too…nothing had been the same for either of them, after that. That was partly why it was all so awful. Itachi didn’t even really have a life any more. Just work and Sasuke.

He sighed. He definitely shouldn’t have gone to therapy today. A few hours ago he’d still been furious with Itachi. And now…now he just felt sad.

He soon arrived home, however, no matter how hard he tried to stretch the time out. He took a deep breath before unlocking the door and going inside. He knew Itachi would already be home from work…yes, there he was, on the couch with a book; Sasuke could see him from the door.

He walked through the entrance and stood behind the couch. Itachi shifted, but didn’t look at him.

“Everything go okay?” Itachi asked in a low voice, flipping a page in his book.

“It was fine,” Sasuke answered.

“I’ve got dinner here for you,” Itachi said.

Sasuke looked past him to the coffee table. _Ugh, more salad…oh, tomatoes._ Itachi had somehow found those little orange ones…they’d been his favourite, when he was little. He scowled, and slumped down on the couch, reaching over to snatch the bowl. “What’d you do, go to every shop in town to find these things?” he shot at his brother.

Itachi glanced at him briefly before turning to his book. “I don’t know what you mean. They were just at our regular store.”

_Yeah, sure, as if._

Sasuke sighed. And then he stole the blanket from Itachi and wrapped it around himself, and started eating, shifting closer to his brother so he had something to lean on.

“By the way,” he said between bites. “If I want to date Naruto, I’m going to date Naruto.”

Itachi glanced at him again, but otherwise didn’t react. “…hmm,” he said, and then turned his face away.

***

Thing hadn’t exactly been smooth sailing after that point, but at least they’d both calmed down a bit. This had lasted a little longer than their normal fights, and Sasuke was still- not angry, maybe, but _annoyed_. He suspected, however, that his annoyance didn’t serve much practical purpose. His brother would continue to look out for him, however he saw fit. And at the end of the day…they were all they had. It was just the two of them, now.

Thursday and Friday passed; Sasuke saw Naruto once on Thursday in the hallway at school, and the idiotic blonde had actually _winced_ when he saw Sasuke, and then had practically run away. The coward. Sasuke briefly considered texting him, but he was still cross about the whole thing; he couldn’t help it.

At least it was now finally the weekend. Sasuke had found it difficult to concentrate on his schoolwork this week, and he hadn’t been sleeping well; so it’d been good to have a chance to catch up on both homework and sleep.

At the moment he was at the nurse’s station in the corner of the ER, reviewing his physics notes. Itachi was on call tonight, and Sasuke didn’t want to spend the whole night at home alone. (…and at least in the corner, he was far enough away from all the gross sick people. What was it with his family and becoming _doctors_?)

“Physics is at least an improvement over math,” Itachi mumbled from the front of the counter. “Why don’t you become a physicist?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored him. _No, thank you._ He just needed the easy grade, to graduate high school and complete the requirements that the university had set for him.

Suddenly Itachi tensed up and looked towards the door. Sasuke pushed his book away and warily followed his gaze. _…oh, Naruto._ This was unexpected.

There he was, that stupid dead-last, standing in the doorway staring at the two of them with his mouth hanging open, like he was surprised to see them here. At the hospital. Where Itachi worked.

 _…what now?_ Sasuke thought to himself. _He better not be here to make trouble…he’s not injured, is he?_ Sasuke stood up and quickly looked him over, but he couldn’t see any blood or obvious broken bones.

“Mr. Uzumaki,” Itachi said, in a cold voice, as Naruto stumbled over towards them. “We meet again.”

“Uh, yeah,” Naruto said to that, flushing slightly pink and looking fiercely embarrassed. “…hi.”

“What do you want, Naruto?” Sasuke snapped, crossing his arms. Naruto flinched, and stared down at his feet.

“Don’t be rude, Sasuke,” Itachi cautioned, and Sasuke glared at him. “What can we do for you?”

 “Uh, well, I…” Naruto began, still looking down at his feet. “Well, I was wondering if maybe…Sasuke wanted to come over and play video games…”

Sasuke blinked. Was Naruto asking him out? In front of his brother? Or….was he… _oh, he wouldn’t **dare**!_

He narrowed his eyes. “Naruto,” he scowled, and the blonde finally looked up at him. “Are you asking me if I want to come over, or are you asking my brother for _permission_ for me to come over?!”

Itachi made a small noise at that, and turned his face away. But Sasuke had seen his expression; his brother was _amused_.

_…ugh!_

Naruto stared at them with wide eyes, looking from Sasuke to Itachi and back to Sasuke again. “Well, I…” he stammered, “um, the thing is…”

“Spit it out, dead-last! Which is it?!” Sasuke demanded, and Itachi shot him a look.

Naruto coughed and fidgeted. “Well, the thing is, I was just thinking that…you know, I-”

“Naruto!” Sasuke exclaimed. “Answer the question!”

The blonde took a step back and looked like he wanted to high-tail it out of here. “I- I came to ask Itachi!” he finally said, “I didn’t want to cause any problems between you guys-”

“Naruto!” Sasuke interrupted. “Are you _serious_?! What is this, the eighteenth century?! Leave my brother out of this!”

“Now now, Sasuke,” Itachi said, holding back a grin. “Mr. Uzumaki is just being sensible- wise, even-”

“Stay out of it!” Sasuke hissed at him, as he slammed his physics book shut and shoved his things into his bag. “If I want to go and play video games, I’m damn well going to go and play video games!” He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked around to the front of the counter, grabbing Naruto’s wrist and dragging him across the room. “Come on, moron, let’s get out of here.”

“Oh, but, Itachi-” Naruto stammered, looking back over to the desk.

“I’ll see you at home in time for dinner, Sasuke,” Itachi called after them, and Sasuke scowled. “And don’t put your phone on silent this time!”

***

 _So what’s this boy of yours like_ , his therapist had asked, and Sasuke had answered truthfully: he was a no-good, idiot jerk, who beat up other jerks and enjoyed it, and dropped things on the floor in front of people just so he could bend over in front of them, and he liked to show off his arms too; he didn’t know _anything_ about books, and he’d followed Sasuke around like a puppy for _weeks_ , and was basically the most annoying guy ever.

 _Sounds like you really like him_ , she’d said to that.

Sasuke scowled, remembering the knowing little smile she’d had on her face, and he glared at the meek, frightened-looking guy walked next to him. His cheeks were still pink from where he’d been blushing in the hospital. This guy…! “Naruto! Are you _scared_ of my brother?!” he said, remembering the panic-y way Naruto had fidgeted and stumbled in front of Itachi.

Naruto squeaked and flushed bright red, tripping over his feet. “Of course I am!” he answered. “Who wouldn’t be?? I swear, his death glare is even more powerful than _yours_!”

His _what_? Sasuke rolled his eyes. What a moron. Who would be scared of _Itachi_? “Itachi is harmless,” he said.

“But,” Naruto protested. “But, he’s your _brother_!”

“So?” Sasuke prompted.

“So…like I said, I didn’t want to cause any problems between you guys, brothers are important, aren’t they?” Naruto said, glancing at him. “And…well, I was really angry, actually, when he was saying those things to me, but then I thought about it, and I guess he really cares about you, so…”

And so, Naruto had spent a week thinking about it, and then decided to ask Itachi’s permission to date him, like he was some girl from the Victorian era? Sasuke bit back a scowl. What would he have done, if Sasuke hadn’t been there- would he actually have gone through with it? What would he have said? And…what would he have done if Itachi had said _no_?

…it was too much to think about, he was getting _annoyed_ again.

“So are we playing Mortal Kombat again?” he demanded, changing the subject and walking faster along the path.

“Oh, again?” Naruto said, actually looking at him directly now. He looked worried. “Well, I’ve been practicing- so if we play that, you might not win this time, you know!”

Sasuke may not have been able to practice like Naruto had, but he was pretty sure he’d learned a few new tricks, from what he’d seen on the internet. He was ready to try them out.

“We could play something else if you’re afraid of _losing_ ,” he said to the blonde.

“Sasuke!” Naruto shrieked. “Oh, how can you be so arrogant after one time? It was just beginner’s luck, and I’m not letting you get away with it again!”

“Try and stop me,” Sasuke said back, “we’ve got four hours. I doubt you can improve enough in that time.”

***

And this turned out to be correct; three hours later, Naruto had managed to (somehow) beat Sasuke twice, but Sasuke had won over twenty times, and he hadn’t even been trying very hard.

“What the hell!” Naruto exclaimed, dumping his controller on the coffee table and sulking. “This just isn’t fair, there’s no way you’re new to this!!”

Sasuke shrugged. “Like I said the other week, maybe it’s just that your scores are so low,” he suggested, which did not seem to appease the blonde.

“Sasuke!” he scowled. “That’s not-”

“Naruto?” came a voice, interrupting them, and they both turned around. A dark-haired boy who looked about their age had just walked in the front door and was staring at them.

 _…Naruto’s roommate?_ Sasuke wondered.

Naruto brightened. “Sai!” he said, with a grin. “I didn’t think you’d be home for ages! Come and meet Sasuke!”

“This is Sasuke?” Sai asked, glancing over at him. Sasuke couldn’t tell from his face, what this ‘Sai’ thought about walking into his home and finding a strange boy on the couch.

“…hi,” Sasuke said, his voice a little low. He carefully put his controller down next to Naruto’s and turned around to face him better. “Nice to meet you.”

Sai tilted his head ever so slightly, and for a long moment he just stared back at Sasuke at silence. And then he nodded. “Nice to meet you too,” he said back. Then he walked over and stood directly behind Naruto. “I still have work to do, but remember, I’m taking you to your session tomorrow. Don’t try to hide.”

Naruto blushed red again. “Sai! Not in front of Sasuke!!” he squawked.

Sai didn’t respond to that, he just turned and went into another room briefly, and then headed back out the front door. “Nice to meet you, Sasuke,” he called back to them, before he left.

Well, that had been odd.

“Uh, your session?” Sasuke asked Naruto.

Naruto rubbed his flushed cheeks and looked embarrassed. “I can’t _believe_ he said that,” he mumbled. “I have this new councillor, and I still haven’t met her yet because I’ve missed the last three sessions. They think I’m doing it on purpose- but I was unconscious for the first one!” he exclaimed. “Remember?!”

Sasuke nodded. Yes, he remembered that quite vividly; the blonde had been unconscious in the hospital bed for more than two hours, giving Sasuke plenty of time to just stare at him without the moron speaking back or making a stupid annoying face. “Okay, and the other two times?”

Naruto groaned and fell back against the couch. “But, apparently she’s _terrifying_ ,” he sulked. “And I hate new councillors. But they called Sai, and he’s going to physically escort me there- can you believe that! Like I’m a child…”

Sasuke thought about it. Was that the kind of relationship he had with his roommate? That was…interesting.

“I have a new counsellor too,” Sasuke said, quietly. “So I get it.”

Naruto blinked. “Oh,” he said. “You’ve got a new one too? Are they awful?”

All new councillors were awful, in their own way. You had to go over your whole history, even though they had it all there in your files… And the same questions, what was that like, how did that change things, etc., etc.

Sasuke sighed. “She’s not…too bad,” he said, hesitantly. It could be a lot worse. Sasuke had even tried some of her tea the other day, when she poured him a cup from this bright yellow teapot. “You should just go and get it over and done with. I missed my first session with her too, remember? When I was here last time?”

Naruto grinned at that. “So that was what you missed? Did you do it on purpose?”

“I didn’t!” Sasuke said back with a scowl. “I wasn’t _hiding_ , like your roommate seems to think you’ll do tomorrow!”

“Sasuke!” Naruto protested, looking deeply offended. “I’m not going to hide, you’ll see! I’m gonna go and meet this woman, no matter how terrifying she is!”

“Good,” Sasuke said, picking up their controllers and shoving Naruto’s into his hands. “Now let’s keep playing. We’ve only got an hour left, and you need to win the next twenty games straight.”

Naruto scowled at that, and put on a determined face and set the game up again. Obviously, the moron had no chance of catching up with Sasuke.

He hadn’t given it much thought before, but given where the two of them had met…well, Naruto was obviously seeing someone as well, so what were _his_ issues? Sasuke frowned as they selected characters and began to play. Naruto was always so cheerful, so…it couldn’t be _too_ bad, could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, Sasuke, I’m sure Naruto’s issues aren’t too bad….*cough*. Anyway….Sai’s used to finding strange men on his couch, so Sasu-kins has nothing to worry about.
> 
> I won’t rest until everyone loves Itachi-nii-san as much as I do…even though he comes off as a jerk… Sas has a pretty intense and troubled relationship with him obviously, so, it’s not easy…
> 
> And now, after six chapters, these two FINALLY seem to be on the same stage and are on the road to dating, yayyyy!!! And I’m sure it will be smooth sailing, no problems at all, just 100% happiness… 
> 
> We’re going back to Naruto in the next chapter, though I honestly don’t know when I’ll get around to writing it. Forgive me, dear readers!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m SO SORRY GUYS, ahhhhh I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve updated my precious fic!! I’ve had a few of these scenes written for a while….and then I got a super awesome review this morning and that finally kicked me into gear, ehehe. Hopefully I can ride this wave of motivation and get another chapter out soon, too!!
> 
> p.s. here’s a pic that Letsura drew me a while ago!! This is one potential future scenario, if our boys ever get their act together! Here is Sas with the tea that Narukins made him. ...Sas doesn't drink tea all that often ahaha. (and yes that is Naru's shirt, *wink*)

***

Sasuke said that he’d been seeing therapists pretty regularly for the past six years; he didn’t necessarily _like_ it, but he was used to it. For Naruto, it had only been three years, but he would never get used to it. Actually, he _hated_ it. It wasn’t just that you were stuck sitting still in a creepy, quiet room for like an _hour_ , but the person sitting opposite you thought it was totally okay- that they had the _right_ \- to ask whatever question they liked. Nothing was off limits; how did Naruto feel about his parents, what was his sex life like, did he have nightmares. It was _way_ too personal.

And he didn’t have any choice in the matter; his case worker was an alright guy, really, but he wouldn’t back down on the therapy issue. It was _awful_. They always tried to convince him that he was miserable, that he was sick, that he was angry. Why couldn’t they just accept that he was _fine_? Maybe not great, but, it could be worse.

At least he was pretty good at getting therapists under his control; if they were men, it was _easy_ , and it could be pretty entertaining as well. Then he’d get transferred to a new one, which sucked, but if he was lucky they wouldn’t even get around to the heavy stuff before it was time to be transferred again.

But there was only so long he could delay this particular appointment before things would get serious. And so Sunday arrived, and not only did Sai drive Naruto to the clinic, he actually walked Naruto to the waiting room like he was a _child_ \- it was so embarrassing! And it wasn’t like it was _necessary_. Everyone just needed to calm down; there were proper reasons why he’d missed those other sessions. It had nothing to do with the fact that this was a new councillor, and a _woman_.

The clinic was completely empty that morning; there no-one in the waiting room at all, and there wasn’t even a receptionist behind the desk. Because it was a Sunday…? Wait, if the clinic wasn’t open on Sundays, then why was he being made to come here?!

“Looks like it’s closed,” Naruto said to Sai when they stepped through the doors into the darkened waiting room. “Must have been some kind of mistake. Oh well. Hey, let’s go get ice cream-”

“Naruto Uzumaki?” came a voice, and Naruto froze and spun around. _Damn_. There, standing on the opposite side of the room, was a truly terrifying-looking blonde woman.

“Uhh…” he muttered.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” she went on. Was this her…? She certainly looked scary enough, with her hands on her hips and the ferocious gaze she was sending him.

“Uh…hi,” he said, putting on a smile. “Yep, that’s me! But anyway, it looks like the clinic’s closed, so-”

“Let’s get started,” she boomed, stepping aside and raising an eyebrow at him.

Naruto gulped, and gave Sai a pleading look.

Sai just smiled. “I’ll be waiting right here when you finish!” he said in that faux-cheerful voice of his, and he sat down and grabbed a cooking magazine from a table.

… _traitor_ , Naruto thought to himself; friends don’t leave other friends alone with new councillors who were clearly crazy.

“You better not make me wait a moment longer!”  the woman boomed, and Naruto shuddered. “I will call you Naruto, and you can call me Tsunade,” she went on.

Oh, this was not good, not good at _all_.

***

“Take a seat,” the woman ordered, as she herded him into the room.

“Uh, okay,” Naruto said, cautiously sitting down and having a quick look around the room for any obvious escape routes. “So, you’re new in town?” he asked, giving her a shaky grin.

“Certainly not,” she said back. “I’m a local. But we are not here to talk about _me_.”

“Oh, well, we can talk about whatever we want-” Naruto attempted to say.

“And I’m sure we would get absolutely nowhere, discussing only things that _you_ wanted to discuss,” she interrupted him, as she took out a large folder stuffed with papers and a pen.

Naruto gulped again. The File. He’d actually tried to steal and burn it once, but apparently all the records got scanned into digital copies every now and then, so it wouldn’t do any good. It was immortal, apparently, and one of his greatest enemies. He resisted the childish urge to glare at it.

“Now, tell me why you’ve been avoiding this session,” she demanded, pen in hand, staring over at him like a hawk.

“I haven’t,” he said, forcing himself to relax and laze back on the chair. “I was unconscious, you know-”

“For the first time,” she interrupted. “And the second and third time?”

“Well, you know,” he said, thinking fast. What kind of excuses would this witch accept? “…things came up. I’m a very busy person.”

“I’m sure you are. But as it turns out, the delay has given me even longer to go over your file,” she said, and Naruto froze.

Ohh. _That_ couldn’t be good. The kinds of things in there…reports from old case workers and teachers and stuff. Truthfully, Naruto didn’t exactly get along with authority figures and they didn’t like him much so, he could only imagine the kinds of things that were written about him in there. And actually, he didn’t have to imagine, some of his old councillors had quoted whole chunks of the reports to him, and they were pretty…unpleasant.

“Ahh, what do you mean?” he asked, trying not to sound panicked. “It’s….it’s entertaining, right, my life could be a movie-”

“Very entertaining,” she interrupted. “Now, you and I are going to be seeing each other for a long time. How about we agree to try something new?”

Naruto blinked. “Like what?” he asked.

“Like you actually attend your scheduled sessions and take them seriously, and I don’t act like a…let’s see, what did you call your last female councillor…ah, a power-hungry bitch.”

Naruto winced. Well, she _had_ been! “I’m totally taking them seriously,” Naruto objected, “it’s just that I don’t _need_ them, and there’s no point me even being here-”

“I see,” Tsunade interrupted again, and Naruto scowled. “I hate to tell you this, young man, but I see every reason for you to be here. We’ll start from the beginning, your time with your families-”

“They weren’t _families_ ,” Naruto grumbled, slumping back in his chair and crossing his arms across his chest. Why anyone would want to spend a single second talking about those assholes was beyond him!

Tsunade frowned at the interjection and gave him a disapproving look. “Ah, so your earliest experiences of childhood and intimacy have had no impact on your current relationships? On how you interact with others?”

“No,” Naruto answered sulkily. “…and there’s nothing wrong with how I interact with others.”

“We will discuss it nonetheless,” the blonde witch said, making a note on her paper. Naruto scowled at that. Always making notes, these people. Why?! “And then move on to your time on the streets-”

“I’ve been over it a million times already!” Naruto protested. “Can’t you just read what’s in the file? This is a waste of time!”

“-and then we’ll discuss your brief stint in juvenile hall before moving on to the home. And then-”

“And then that will _do_ ,” Naruto growled. “There is absolutely no point in going over all this shit again-”

“Is that your roommate I saw out in the hall?” Tsunade asked, peering at him over her notes. “The one you met in the home?”

“So what if it is?” Naruto said, bristling. She should leave Sai out of this at least, what the hell did _he_ do wrong?!

“The one who convinced your caseworker to have you released into his care.”

“I’m not in his _care_ ,” Naruto exclaimed, “we’re _roommates_ -”

“You’re still designated a minor, by law,” Tsunade pointed out. “You haven’t been emancipated. He _does_ have a supervisory role over you, regardless of what you call it.”

“Yeah, so?” Naruto sulked. “What’s the big deal? He’s way better than any other asshole supervisor I’ve ever had, so I don’t see why I have to-”

“Good,” Tsunade said to that, shutting the file and placing it on the table in front of her. “That is very good to hear.”

Naruto paused. …what? “Oh,” he said, confused. “…well, good, because-”

“I’d say you’re in a better position and living a better life now than you ever have before. Would you agree?”

Naruto frowned. Well, _obviously_! He could come and go as he pleased, no-one telling him what to do, he had an allowance now that no-one tried to spend for him, and no-one in this town even knew about his past. It was awesome. So what kind of stupid question was that?

“Obviously,” he said to this crazy new councillor with a pout. “Everything’s sunshine and roses.”

“I believe you,” Tsunade said to that, “you don’t need to convince me.”

“So why-”

“Do you really think that everything will _stay_ sunshine and roses, if you don’t address what you’ve been through? You’ve got demons, the same as anyone else. Only yours are significantly more- _vicious_ , and you’re ignoring them.”

“I’m _not_ ,” Naruto said, resisting the urge the growl and hiss at her. Demons? What was she on about? Naruto was fine, everything was great. He’d even be a proper adult soon and he could do whatever the hell he wanted, so what was the point of all this anyway?!

“I’d disagree. In any case, we’ll have lots of time to discuss them in our sessions. No more of your old pattern, I think, dropping by maybe once a month when it suits you. We’ll make regular sessions, and you _will_ attend.”

Naruto shrugged. _Sure_ he would, absolutely. “Whatever. This year’s halfway over anyway. And then I’ll graduate, so-”

“Yes, well, with your current grades, I’m not sure that we can count on that happening this year,” she said, picking up another pile from behind her, this one with the logo of his school on it.

Naruto stiffened. “Hey!” he retorted. “My grades aren’t that bad! Give me a break, why don’t you-”

“That’s what I’m trying to do,” she said, taking her eyes off the paper and staring at him. “I’m telling you exactly what you’ll need to do, to complete my recommendations for your emancipation before the end of the year. And that includes getting these grades up, ASAP. You cannot afford to fail one single thing, do you understand that?”

Now he really _did_ growl at her. “Yeah, yeah, fine, so I’ll study for once. I don’t see what any of this has to do with-”

“And according to the current arrangement, you only need to complete three more sessions with a councillor this year. That clearly won’t be sufficient. You’ll need sessions with me much more regularly,” she informed him.

Naruto blinked. Uh…she couldn’t do that, could she?! “I already agreed to all that stuff with my case worker!” he said. “I just have to graduate and then-”

“You’ll come to see me once a week,” she interrupted.

Once a _week_?! She couldn’t be _serious_!

“What?!” he exclaimed, feeling himself start to panic. “I never come here that often! Why do I have to do that?!”

“Yes, I’m sure you don’t see the need for it now. You will, soon enough. We’ll be facing those demons of yours whether you like it or not.”

Naruto glared at her. “…power-hungry bitch,” he muttered under his breath.

She smiled widely at that, and Naruto cringed and wished very much that he could hide. That smile was the scariest thing he had ever seen. No, no, this was _not_ happening, there was no way, she couldn’t make him!!

***

…as it turned out, she _could_ make him. Naruto sulked the whole way home and hissed at Sai when he suggested they go out for ice-cream. No way was Naruto eating ice-cream with this jerk! He hadn’t done anything to help defend him, he’d even agreed to the new session schedule!

The second they got home Naruto shot him a final glare and slammed his bedroom door behind him. This was ridiculous. He refused to spend any more time with that blonde witch, and he wasn’t going to let anyone tell him he was _sick_. He wasn’t going to spend one second more thinking about all the crap he’d been through, what was the point of dredging it all up again?!

Some people just wanted to make other people suffer. But no matter, he’d find a way out of it, he-

His phone beeped and he fished it out of his pocket. _How’d it go_ , Sasuke had written.

…Sasuke.

Naruto slumped into bed and frowned. Sasuke had demons. And he hadn’t seemed to care that Naruto was seeing a councillor as well. He hadn’t even been surprised, like it wasn’t that big of a deal. Like it didn’t make him a _freak_.

And yet, if you believed what his witch of a councillor said, then Naruto had no chance of having a “healthy relationship” with anyone, so where did that leave him and Sasuke? …and actually…Itachi didn’t think that highly of Naruto either.

He sulked into his sheets. So, maybe Naruto had _some_ problems. Maybe his track-record with guys was not all that great. Maybe he didn’t even know _how_ to date someone, how to do things right. It wasn’t right of that woman and even Itachi trying to scare him off like this, flashing his past at him, throwing terms like _intimacy issues_ at him. He liked Sasuke, and Sasuke seemed to like him back, so-

…so…what if everything went wrong. What if it all went to hell. What if the same thing happened with him and Sasuke that had happened to literally every good thing that Naruto had ever had in his life?

 

 

***

Naruto sat at the bar downing his third beer whist re-reading Sasuke’s one-line text for the thousandth time. He couldn’t respond; he had no idea what to say. How did it go? It had gone _horribly_. How could Naruto face him with Tsunade’s words in his head? How could he pretend that everything was okay when, apparently, he had hordes of ‘vicious demons’ inside him?

At least one thing was clear to him, though. Beer was _not_ the answer. He needed something much, much stronger.

One hour and half a dozen shots later, Naruto was still miserable. He needed…he needed to turn his brain off for a while. Drinking wasn’t enough. He needed a distraction. So he glanced around the bar, trying to find one.

 _Ohh, this is a bad idea, Naruto_ , he told himself. One thing he could always find very easily was a _distraction_ , he could have a guy back in his bed in no time if he wanted. And there, over by the wall, staring right back at him. He was hot. Yes, quality distraction material. Skin-tight shirt. Pouty mouth. Dark, gleaming eyes. And his _hair_.

And the guy was looking right back at him, watching Naruto watch him, and giving him just the slightest _come hither_ smile.

Oh yes, he would do nicely-

… _shit,_ Naruto thought, snatching his phone and quickly typing out a text. _SOS_ , he wrote to Ino, _Phoenix Bar. NOW_.

He fidgeted. The guy across the room turned slightly, in what was almost certainly an attempt to casually show himself off. They stared at each other for a few more long, heated moments, and Naruto downed another shot. Okay. Contact had been established. Naruto was pleasantly tipsy. Yes, it could be very pleasant, they could-

 _Sit tight_ , came a reply to his phone. _If you touch anyone’s dick I’ll rip YOURS off._

Naruto winced. Unfortunately, however, the fear of this dire threat was quickly dulled thanks to all that lovely alcohol. …shit.

***

Naruto hummed happily, pushing himself further into the lovely boy he’d shoved against the wall in the hallway. He ran his hands down that skin-tight shirt and pressed his hips forward. The smaller boy groaned under him and kissed him harder, threading his hands through Naruto’s hair and tugging down.

Mmm, _yes_ , just the way Naruto liked it. He bit down on the boy’s swollen bottom lip and got another moan out of him, and then he ran his hands lower to grip the back of his jeans. He shoved a knee between the boy’s thighs to edge them apart, and then-

“NARUTO!!” came a shrieking cry and Naruto jumped and turned. “ _Again_?! You PROMISED me! We are _so_ breaking up this time!!”

“Oh,” Naruto said, wincing. He snatched his hands away from the guy’s ass and held them up in front of him. “Hi babe! Um, this isn’t what it looks like, I was just-”

“I know what you were doing!!” Ino shrieked, grabbing him by the ear and dragging him further off the boy. She cuffed the top of his head and then turned her attention to the smaller boy slumped on the wall. “ _You_!” she hissed.

The poor thing wilted but then glared and pushed himself off the wall. “You have a _girlfriend_?!” the boy exclaimed, staring over at Ino with horror.

“Uh,” Naruto began, “well, you know, I’m-”

“You’re _dead_ , that’s what you are! I’m taking you home and reminding you that you’re _mine_!!” Ino grabbed his shirt and dragged him away from the boy, down the hall and out of the bar.

“I was just getting to the good part,” Naruto whined at he was shoved into the passenger seat of Ino’s car.

“You were about to lose your dick, that’s what you were getting to!” Ino hissed at him. “What were you even doing there?! What about Sasuke?”

“What _about_ Sasuke?” Naruto sulked, slumping against the door. “I’m just gonna mess it up. You said so yourself. So I might as well-”

“I said no such thing!” she interjected. “Just stop, stop talking, don’t think about it when you’re upset!”

“Can’t help it,” Naruto said with an unhappy groan, leaning into the cool air coming out of the air conditioner vents. “She said I have _demons_. That all my relationships are messed up cause I’m an _orphan_. That I-”

“I’ll kill her for saying things like that to you!” Ino growled, glancing at him briefly before turning her attention back to the road. “Isn’t she supposed to be an expert on you people?! Of _course_ you’re gonna get drunk and do something stupid if she upset you!”

 _You people?_ Naruto thought to himself. He pouted. And he didn’t _always_ get drunk and do stupid things when he was upset. He- he…

“I don’t feel so good,” he whimpered, slumping back on the seat.

“We’ll be home soon, okay sweetie?” Ino said to him, reaching out a hand and patting his shoulder. “And then you can throw up all you like. Does that sound nice?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Naruto exclaimed, and he squeezed his eyes shut and desperately tried not to vomit inside Ino’s brand-new car.

***

 

When he woke it was pitch-black in his room and there was a note stuck to his head. Naruto moved to switch on his lamp and groaned at the wave of nausea that overcame him. He pulled the note down so he could read it and scowled. _Please stop drinking, moron_ , Ino had written. _Call me later if you want to cry about Sasuke some more._

Some _more_? Naruto frowned. What had he even said about Sasuke? He narrowed his eyes and tried to remember what they’d talked about once he was done throwing up. He’d said something about all his relationships being doomed and who the hell would date someone who was in therapy once a week. And maybe something about being a whore and what if a certain someone found out just how many guys he’d had sex with-

-see? He hadn’t said _anything_ about Sasuke!

Biting back another groan he pushed himself up and reached for the water and aspirin that Ino had so thoughtfully left on his bedside table. An angel, that one, really.

He thought about life all the way through his shower, washing off the booze and vomit and whatever hideous scent that guy had been wearing. He thought about his past while he pawed through the piles of laundry on the floor to find some clean clothes. He thought about his future as he crawled back into bed still naked and pulled the sheets over himself. And then he called Ino

“I’m so sorry!” he cried the second she answered. “I’m a terrible friend!”

“Yeah, whatever,” she said. “It’s just vomit. It’ll wash out.”

Naruto winced and chose to ignore that. “Look, about Sasuke. I think I should just leave it. It’s not a good idea, so, I’ll just tell him we should, you know, just be friends or something.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone and Naruto shifted awkwardly, waiting for her to speak again. To tell him that he was doing the right thing.

“And why would you do that?” she finally said. “You like him. And he likes you. I can tell.”

Naruto frowned. He didn’t think he’d need to _argue_ with her about this. “I like him a _lot_. But Ino, I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ll just mess up and hurt him. And I’ll get hurt too. We’ll both just be…hurt.”

“Naruto,” Ino growled into the phone. “Do you think people are _born_ knowing how to create healthy relationships?”

He paused. “Ino-”

“Look, some people get lucky and grow up with healthy, happy, perfectly functioning relationships all around them to learn from. And yeah, those people have a head start. That doesn’t mean that _you_ can’t be happy, Naruto!”

He was confused. But she herself had said that Naruto didn’t know how to date. And his counsellor had said he had intimacy issues. And men all across town had called him a whore- usually as a _complement_ , but still. “Ino, I have no idea what I’m doing here!! It’s just a bad, bad idea, I don’t know why I ever thought I could do it!”

“Jeez, she really shook you up didn’t she? Naruto, I’ll help you. And Sai can probably kidnap a relationship specialist to teach you stuff. You’re not alone!”

“Yeah, but-”

“And I know you probably don’t like this woman. But she can help you too. It’s her _job_. You’ve got problems, but she knows how to help you, okay? I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but you can do it. Just- stop drinking, maybe.”

Naruto bit his lip. “But Sasuke…Sasuke’s _different_.”

She paused. “Yeah, okay. Yes, he is. So we’ll go slow. Maybe don’t sleep with him after the first date. Maybe actually _talk_ to him.”

“We already had our first date,” Naruto retorted, pouting into the phone. Hell, he’d even asked Itachi- in front of Sasuke- for _permission_! “And we didn’t have sex. See? I have self-control.”

“I’m sure you do,” Ino soothed. “And I think you have to accept that it’s not gonna smoothly. But date him anyway. It’ll be great, for a while. And then you’ll fight and scream at each other and threaten to break up. And then you’ll make up- and hey, that’s a whole new kind of sex for you to look forward to-”

“Ino!” Naruto growled. “I don’t _wanna_ fight with him and break up!! That would be _awful_!”

“Well, yeah, of course,” Ino said back. “It happens, though. Sorry sweetie. It’s a fact of life.”

“I’ll hurt him,” he sulked. “I don’t wanna do that.”

“Just…don’t make any decisions about it right now, okay? And maybe you should talk to Sasuke about it first. Maybe actually ask for _his_ opinion on if you should date him. This kinda concerns him as well, you know.”

Naruto glared into the phone. “I know that,” he said.

“Good. Look, it’s late. Let’s talk about it after we’ve both had some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Um…thanks for rescuing me, Ino,” he said.

“Any time,” she said back, and they hung up.

***

Naruto lay in his bed, staring up at the roof. It was morning and he knew he had to get up and get ready, but his desire to do that was at, literally, negative 100%.

It seemed to him that his life had been made of a series of choices, and he had almost always picked the wrong one. It’s not like he wanted to feel sorry for himself, or that he thought nothing in his life was his own fault. It was more like…the thought of making yet _more_ decisions was just exhausting.

 _Coming to school today?_ he’d texted Sasuke just now, and Sasuke had quickly responded. He had classes at uni in the morning, and then he was coming school. Well, that explained why he wasn’t around all the time.

He sighed and pushed himself up and out of bed. He was exhausted. But if there was one thing Naruto was good at, it was hiding that exhaustion. Other people didn’t need to know about that shit. It was his own business, his own thoughts and feelings. Naruto rubbed his heavy eyes and forced a smile onto his face, before heading out into the apartment to face the day. Today he’d see Sasuke, and then…and then, who knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Tsunade certainly DID shake Naruto up!! She’s definitely not like Sas’s nice, warm, hippy councillor. But this is probably what poor in-denial Narukins needs, even if it won’t be pleasant. Ahhhhhhhh I just wanna get to the smooching but let’s face it, our two boys have a few more issues to work out!!!
> 
> Let’s hope I get the next chapter written before toooooo long. Let me know what you thought of this one!! And if you have any predictions about what might happen in the future, ehehe!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, another chapter, yay!! Now, I know we’ve been focusing a lot on our boys and their therapists at the moment, but let’s face it- that’s a big part of this story! We’ll be getting a lot more NarSas awkwardness with the next few chapters, I promise, ahaha. 
> 
> A quick reminder and **trigger warning for anorexia and depression** and just a wholllllle lot of issues, really. I’d never want to turn any readers away, but I’d hate if my writing was upsetting anyone too badly. Since this story will go on for a while, I hope you’ll bear with me as we work through the difficulties our boys are facing. I can promise you that **I do not take any of it lightly** , and have put a lot of thought and planning into their backstories and their current conditions- despite the casual writing style I’ve chosen. It’s Naruto’s POV, after all.
> 
> Now, onwards, woo!!

Naruto stood outside of school and looked across the lawn to where Sasuke was chatting with Ino and Sakura. The sight made him a little anxious. What was Ino doing? What were they talking about? And Naruto should go over there and join them, right? But, but he…

Somehow, he’d managed to forget just how _gorgeous_ Sasuke was since the last time he’d seen him. How long had it been? …oh, they played video games on Saturday. So that was less than 48 hours ago. It must have been all the alcohol he drank yesterday that made him forget, or maybe he was deliberately supressing his feelings. Yeah, that must be it- he was doing it on _purpose_.

Because Sasuke was really, _really_ beautiful. Stunning. His eyes were just amazing, and he had such soft, pretty hair. All Naruto wanted to do was hold him and pet him and kiss his neck. So yeah, he was feeling a little tongue-tied standing here trying to get the courage to go and talk to him.

_Tell him how you feel_ , Ino had said to him. _Ask if he’d like to take things slow. See what he thinks._

_Dammit, Sasuke,_ Naruto thought to himself. _Why are you so gorgeous? I can’t stand it!!_ Ohh, that guy at the bar yesterday was _nothing_ compared to Sasuke! What had Naruto been thinking?!

Remembering what he’d done yesterday made him wince. No, that couldn’t happen again, even if Sasuke turned him down. _That_ all had to end. Okay, he was gonna do it. He was gonna talk to Sasuke.

Naruto took a deep breath, put on a smile, and strolled over the lawn to his friends as casually as he could. He tripped over a stick and almost fell over, but luckily they didn’t notice. _Great, Naruto, now you’re even more flustered and you’re **blushing**. Just perfect, moron._

“Oh, Naruto,” said Sakura with a wave; she was the first one to see him. “I was wondering where you were!”

“Hi, Sakura,” he said back with a little cough to clear his throat. “I, ah, I just had to see our math teacher about something.”

“We were just talking about that,” Ino said to him with a grin. She shifted and stepped back so that Naruto could join their circle. “I’m having trouble with math as well. I’m trying to get this genius here to tutor me!”

“You want Sasuke to tutor you?” Naruto said, surprised. He was instantly suspicious. Ino got perfectly passable grades in all her classes, and she didn’t really care about doing better. Oh, no, this was just her wanting to get to know Sasuke! How _sneaky_!

“Midterms are coming up fast, you know,” Sasuke said, and Naruto tensed up at hearing his voice for the first time in 48 hours. _Oh god, could you **please** stop blushing_ , he ordered himself. “I guess I wouldn’t mind tutoring you, if you really wanted to. I doubt I’m all that good of a teacher.”

Ino squealed with happiness. “Ah! Thanks, Sasuke!! Here’s my number, I’ll call you about study times alright?! Okay, let’s get going, Sakura!” Ino handed Sasuke a slip of paper and then grabbed Sakura’s arm, pulling her pink-haired girlfriend away.

“Hey Naruto, maybe we should get a tutor too!” Sakura called out to him as she was dragged away.

“Good idea!” Naruto called back, waving to them until they were gone. “Ugh, midterms. Could anything be worse?”

“Probably,” Sasuke said, turning to face him directly now that they were alone. The feel of those dark eyes on him had Naruto all tensed up in an instant. How could one person have this effect on him?! “You didn’t text me back yesterday. So things didn’t go well with the new counsellor?”

Naruto’s blush came right back with full force. Did Ino say something to him? She wouldn’t, would she?! “How’d you know?” Naruto asked, his eyes wide with surprise and worry.

Sasuke shrugged. He didn’t seem angry. “Do things _ever_ go well with a new councillor? They don’t know you and you don’t know them.”

…well. Naruto remembered this one guy, he’d been _particularly_ easy, and by the end of that first session they were- ah, no, best not to think about _that_.

“Oh!” Naruto said, relieved. “No, I guess not. She’s…she’s different than anyone else I’ve seen before, that’s for sure.”

“Is that a bad thing…?” Sasuke asked.

_Hmm…well, yeah, of course_ , Naruto thought to himself. She was unpredictable. The things she said to him…no-one had ever had the guts to just come out and say before. And Naruto gave her his best menacing, intimidating act…and she’d stood up to it. Hadn’t even _flinched_. It was terrifying.

“Um, she’s pretty scary,” Naruto replied. “And…and, actually, she wants me to come in more regularly for sessions and…I really don’t want to.” And boy was _that_ an understatement. Naruto would rather rip his own skin off. …and yet.

_She can help you_ , Ino had said. _Even if you hate her_. And, well, if Naruto was being completely, 100% honest, maybe there were some things he needed help with. And…and he hadn’t hated her. He just…well.

“I’m sure you don’t want to,” Sasuke said, picking his bag up from the lawn and slinging it over his back. “So she’d scary, huh? Mine’s just weird. And tea-addicted, I think. Camomile. So much camomile.”

“Hey, don’t judge. I _love_ camomile,” Naruto said.

“And there’s just so many cushions and rugs and things in her office. She’s really going for that _let’s just relax and chat and be happy_ vibe.”

Naruto had encountered just such a type before. And yeah, he had _relaxed_ and _been_ _happy_. He frowned. Though it hadn’t been much _help_ , he supposed. He really wasn’t sure if any councillors had actually helped him at all. Some of that was probably his own fault, if you believed Ino.

“But the tea. Honesty…” Sasuke said, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

Naruto’s heart stopped beating in his chest. That…that was the cutest thing he had ever seen in his _life_. Instantly his mind was dragged from thinking about that blonde witch and back on Sasuke. A massive improvement, that was for sure!

And speaking of tea. “Hey, are you doing anything now?” Naruto said, suddenly feeling super nervous. “I was hoping we could…talk. There’s this café around the corner, how about it?”

“A café?” Sasuke asked with a frown. “Well-”

“Ahhh, no, um, let’s just go to the park!” Naruto interrupted, cursing internally. A _café_? He was such an idiot! You don’t invite someone with anorexia to a café! “We’ll stop by the vending machine and get a drink first. My treat!”

“Thank you,” Sasuke said gravely to Naruto’s grand offer of vending machine beverages. “That sounds great.”

Naruto grinned. “Okay! Let’s go!” He led the way across the lawn and tried to slow his racing pulse. Great, so, despite that blunder with the café, he’d successfully managed to secure the afternoon with Sasuke. He silently congratulated himself and steeled himself for the coming ordeal. It was time to _talk_.

***

They settled under a big oak tree in the shade. Sasuke leaned up against the trunk with his legs tucked up under him, and he looked so adorable that Naruto could have died happy right now. But to be fair, Naruto pretty much thought he looked adorable _all_ the time. Honestly, he’d never be able to get enough of just _staring_ at this guy. And listening to his voice. And just, well, being next to him.

…okay, okay, Naruto was obviously falling for him, so he _had_ to try to date him. Naruto’s feelings were just too strong to let this all go. And the worse Sasuke could do was say no…right?

“How is it?” Sasuke asked, nodding to Naruto’s drink. “Doesn’t tea taste bad enough when it’s _hot_?”

“Hey, it’s great!” Naruto said back, taking another sip of his iced oolong. Sasuke was just drinking water. Naruto wondered if that was like, an anorexia thing. Or, well, maybe he just…liked water.

Sasuke shrugged. “If you say so.”

Naruto bit his lip. Sasuke was so cute when he shrugged! And when he drank water. And when he- okay, he had to do this, now! The way he was feeling now…this was new, it was different. And more than anything else, Naruto wanted things to _change_. That little voice in his head was screaming at him now: Sasuke’s the change you want. That you _need_.

“Hey, Sasuke, I was wondering, um…” he began, trying to find the words. “Well, the thing is, I’ve been wanting to, um…to ask you out again, but, ah…”

“Again?” Sasuke said, gazing over at him. “So playing video games on Saturday was a _date_?”

Naruto flushed red. “Oh! Um, not if you don’t want it to be. It was just video games, after all, but I-”

“You meant it as a date?” Sasuke asked, tilting his head and glancing at him curiously.

Naruto’s blush intensified. “No! No, I- um, well, yeah, I _did_ , but…”

“That’s fine,” Sasuke said, giving him an odd look. “It was fun. We should do it again. Hey, are you okay? You’re all red.”

Naruto squeaked and drank a huge mouthful of tea to give himself time to calm down. _We should do it again_ , he’d said. Sasuke wanted to do it again! Naruto wanted to scream. _Stay cool, stay cool_ , he told himself, _don’t ruin this_!

“I’m fine,” he said with a little cough. “So like, if we were playing video games again, that would be another… _date_?!” he asked.

Sasuke looked like he was biting back a smile. “Uh, yes, if you wanted it to be.”

_Ahhh more dates with Sasuke_!! “Oh! And, if we did something else, like if we went to a movie or something?!” he asked.

“Sure, that would be a date too,” Sasuke said.

Wow, this was amazing! “And, if we went to the amusement park?!” he suggested.

“What amusement park?” Sasuke asked, looking confused.

“Just for _instance_ ,” Naruto said. “Like, say that we did go to one-”

“There isn’t one,” Sasuke interjected, still looking confused. “You wanna go on a trip or something? There’s-”

“Ah, no!” Naruto interrupted, “no, no, I just meant, that’s something that couples do right, and they go on the roller-coaster and one person gets scared, and then they get their photo taken, and, you know…” Oh god, Naruto wanted to _die_. He had never felt this embarrassed. Was he really talking to Sasuke about _amusement parks_?!

“Couples?” Sasuke asked, narrowing his eyes.

_…oh, **shit**_! Okay, now Naruto _really_ wanted to die! “No! That’s not what I meant! I just meant like, as a date, because we should take things really _really_ slow, and I’d never just assume that you were my boyfriend, and, you don’t have to be my boyfriend, we can do whatever you want, and I-”

“Naruto,” Sasuke interrupted, holding up a hand and looking- tired. “You’re babbling. Stop it.”

Naruto squeaked and grabbed for his tea again. “Okay,” he said, taking a few more sips. _Great job keeping cool_ , he told himself. _Really great job._

Sasuke sighed. “Naruto, you said- that you _were_ wanting to ask me out. Past-tense. But…do you still want to?”

“Oh! _Yes_!” Naruto exclaimed, “but I-” ...wait. Did they really need to talk about all this? Sasuke had already said yes, so, he should just leave it like that. There was no need to make it awkward, right?! They-

-Naruto’s phone vibrated and he looked down at the text from Ino. _Don’t wimp out, go all the way!_ it read. _You need to talk to him about your feelings! DO IT!_

Naruto gulped. Yeah, okay. Yes, this thing with Sasuke was different. He couldn’t cut corners. He sighed and took a deep breath.

“Sasuke, the thing is…” he began, fidgeting. “I don’t think I’m all that good at…and, well, you didn’t seem bothered when I was talking about how I go to counselling, but…”

“I’m hardly one to judge someone about _that_ ,” Sasuke said, drinking the last of his water and slipping the bottle into his bag. “I go a few times a month as well, you know.”

“Ah! Right, well, so I was just worried that maybe you didn’t want to…you know, go out with someone like, well, _me_ ,” Naruto said, squeezing it all out and then staring down at the grass and wanting to crawl into the ground and die. This was too hard. This was _awful_!

Sasuke paused at that. _Oh god, Sasuke, say something, please!_

“I think we should go on another date,” Sasuke eventually said, and Naruto’s heart started to soar. “But we’re not a couple, Naruto. I’m not your boyfriend.”

“Oh my god, really?!” Naruto shrieked. “No, no, of course not, we’ll just go on a date! Okay, that sounds great!”

“And, um, there’s one more thing-”

“Anything!” Naruto interrupted. “Anything you want!” Naruto would give him the _moon_ if that’s what he wanted!

“Well,” Sasuke said, shifting positions and looking away from him. “I don’t really…date that much, you know, and I don’t like being…I mean, I like my personal space. If you know what I mean.”

Naruto didn’t know what he meant. He squinted. “Uh,” he said. “You…oh! Am I sitting too close to you?!” Naruto instantly moved backwards over the grass. Had he been making Sasuke uncomfortable this whole time?! “Why didn’t you say anything?! I would have-”

“Not that, idiot!” Sasuke interrupted with a scowl. “I meant that you can’t just _kiss_ me or grab me or anything whenever you feel like it, okay?! You need to give me some space! And- and we need to go slowly. Like you said. Really, really slowly!”

Naruto blinked and felt his face start to warm up again. _Kissing?_ They were talking about kissing. As in, Naruto kissing Sasuke. Getting to kiss Sasuke one day. With their lips. When they were on a _date_. Oh, god. _Oh god, I’m **dying** , I can’t handle this! _Naruto’s throat was suddenly very, very dry, and no amount of tea seemed to make him feel better.

“It’s empty, moron,” Sasuke said, staring at Naruto’s bottle of tea. “Do you want me to get you another one?”

“Ah! Ah, no, that’s fine, I just, it’s really hot today isn’t it? I just, um-”

“You’re babbling again. Look, I know you’ve probably been with a lot of guys, so if you’re not okay with waiting, then you should probably-”

Naruto supressed another squeal. A lot of guys?? _Oh god, he knows. Shit!_ “Wait, Sasuke, I said myself that we should go slow, so…it’s fine, it’s great! We won’t kiss for _months_ , okay?!”

“Who says we’ll be dating for months?” Sasuke grumbled, leaning back against the tree.

Ah, right! Damn, Naruto was just saying all the wrong things here! His face fell. This was going horribly. “…right,” he said. “Sorry.”

Sasuke sighed and stared back at him. Naruto flinched. “No, _I’m_ sorry,” he said. “I guess I’m a little sensitive. Look, let’s…let’s go on a date. Tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night?!” Naruto squealed. “ _Really_? Can we?!”

“We’ll go to the movies,” Sasuke said, standing up and brushing the dirt off his jeans. “We’ll decide on one tomorrow. I gotta get home now.”

“Right!” Naruto said, his heart beating hard in his chest as he stood up as well. “Okay, tomorrow! Um, and can I text you maybe, tonight? If, well, I-”

“Yeah, of course,” Sasuke said. “I really have to go now. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

And then Sasuke walked away and Naruto stared at him, spellbound and in complete shock. Sasuke had said _yes_!

***

“I can’t do it,” Naruto moaned, slumping his head on the kitchen table. “I’m too nervous!”

“It’s normal to be nervous before a date,” Sai said to that.

Naruto turned his head so that he could see him. “Huh?” he said. Sai didn’t _date_. So how would he- _oh_. He had his laptop open in front of him on the table. He must be doing research. “So what else does it say?” Naruto asked, wondering where this dating advice was coming from.

“It says that the other person is probably just as nervous as you are. It helps to remember that this is meant to be _fun_.”

“…right,” said Naruto. “I’m having _so_ much fun now. Ugh!”

“You’re going to the movies, right? Did you already buy the tickets? This says that you should buy them online, in case the session you want to see sells out.”

“ _What_?!” Naruto exclaimed, pushing himself up off the tabletop. “No, I didn’t buy them! Do you think I should have?! What if it’s sold out already? It only just came out and _everyone_ wants to see it! Sai, what am I gonna do??”

“You’re going to the cinema on Lake Street right? For that movie about the dinosaurs? What time does it start?”

“Five-thirty,” Naruto sulked. “Well, that’s it, the date’s ruined. I can’t _believe_ this-”

“There, all booked,” Sai said. “I’m just printing the tickets now. I chose you some seats in the back and off to the side. This website says that’s the best place if you don’t wanna be seen making out or giving him a blow-job-”

“What website are you looking at?!!” Naruto shrieked, turning bright red. “There will be no blow-jobs!! No _kissing_! Sai, cut it out!!”

Sai merely glanced at him and shrugged. “Okay. Whatever. Now, it also says here that you should buy your snacks and drinks at a store before you go to the theatre. It’s cheaper, and you won’t risk getting caught in a big line and missing the start of the movie.”

_Oh my god. I don’t have time to do that!!_ Naruto had no _idea_ that so much preparation went in to a movie date. This was awful!!

“Wait,” Naruto said. “Wait. Sasuke won’t eat anything. So I don’t have to get snacks!” He breathed a huge sigh of relief. Well, that was one thing off his list! Two, thanks to the tickets that Sai had bought.

“What about drinks?” Sai asked.

Naruto considered this. “He drinks cold water,” he said, warming a little remembering Sasuke sitting under the tree yesterday. “Okay, I’ll get some bottled water before I meet him at the cinema. Do you think that’s okay? Should I buy anything else?”

“Condoms, according to this website, because-”

“SAI!” Naruto shrieked again. “No condoms!! Get off that website, now!”

“You accepted its advice about the pre-bought drinks,” Sai pointed out, but mercifully he closed the screen. “Now, it takes 12 minutes to walk to the cinema, and you take an average of 14 minutes to get ready. You should start now if you want to be on time.”

Naruto blinked and looked at the clock. “Oh, shit!” he exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. “What the hell am I gonna wear? Should I shower first? Do I have _time_ for a shower? SAI!!”

“He’s probably just as nervous as you are,” Sai said in his monotone voice, probably in an attempt to be comforting. “…I’ll get your tickets from the printer.”

***

“I don’t think dinosaurs are meant to look like that,” Sasuke commented as they left the theatre and walked home.

“Oh? Really?” Naruto asked.

“Mm, well, I read a book once. Palaeontologists think there’s a lot more…feathers and things. That some of them looked kinda like…giant chickens.”

“You read a book about that?!” Naruto exclaimed, impressed beyond belief. “Wow! Sasuke, you’re so smart!!”

Sasuke shook his head and looked down at the ground. “Itachi just leaves all these books around the house. And then, well, you know. I remember it all,” he murmured. “Nothing smart about that.”

“I wish I could read a book about dinosaurs,” Naruto mused. “I swear I’ve never made it to the end of any book, even if it was about- ah! Never mind,” he said, thinking about the kinds of “books” he had at home. The kind with drawings. Of- well.

Sasuke made a little noise under his breath that almost sounded like a laugh. Almost.

Naruto grinned and relaxed slightly at the sound. “I don’t think the movie would have been as scary with giant chickens,” he said. “…it would have been pretty funny, though.”

Sasuke smiled at that, and Naruto thought his heart would explode out of his chest. He smiled! Sasuke _smiled_!! Naruto stared over at him with wide, admiring eyes. Why didn’t he have a camera to keep this moment?

“Definitely not as scary,” Sasuke agreed. “So I guess it’s good they didn’t add any feathers.”

“Yeah. Did you like it though? I thought it was cool.”

“Yes. It was great,” Sasuke said. “Thank you for the water. And for the tickets.”

Naruto bit back another grin, thinking back to how surprised Sasuke had been when he’d showed up and pulled both tickets _and_ drinks out of his bag. That had been priceless! He’d have to thank Sai profusely for his help. He’d actually been able to _impress_ Sasuke!

“Well, Sai bought the tickets actually!” Naruto said. “I didn’t even know you could buy them online!”

“Ah,” Sasuke murmured. “That explains the seating choice…”

“Huh?” Naruto said. “What about them? You didn’t like them?”

Sasuke glanced at him and then looked quickly away. “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s just something Itachi said. He was teasing me about- anyway. The seats were fine. They were great.”

Naruto nodded and grinned. Okay! This was all going well, so far!

“Where are we going, by the way?” Sasuke asked, and Naruto stopped walking and looked around them. Where were they?

“Um,” he said. “…home? I don’t know, I just started following you when we walked out.”

“I was following _you_ ,” Sasuke said, narrowing his eyes. “And whose home are we going to?”

“Well, yours,” Naruto said. Naturally. “I gotta walk you home. It’s dark out.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes further. “Then maybe I should walk _you_ home.”

Naruto laughed. “I don’t need you to walk me home!”

“I don’t need you to walk _me_ home!” Sasuke exclaimed, and his eyes took on a demonic glint that had Naruto backing away and putting his hands up in surrender.

“Ah, okay, okay! Look, we’ll compromise! I’ll walk _you_ home tonight, and you can walk _me_ home next time! How about that?”

Sasuke paused, and seemed to consider this. “…fine,” he said. “But Itachi’s at home right now. And don’t try to kiss me at the door. I’ll kick you.”

Naruto grinned, thinking he wouldn’t mind that at all. He was 100% certain that Sasuke could beat him up if he wanted to. “Deal!”

But actually, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that kissing was off the table. Now he didn’t have to worry about it: whether he should do it or not, if he had bad breath, where he should put his hands, how long it should go for. According to Sai, the websites were very varied on this topic and he had to look into it further before he had a definite answer.

…god, he was still so nervous. Why? The date was pretty much over already!

They walked on in silence for a while. Naruto stared at Sasuke from the corner of his eye. Yes, it was good there was no kissing, but…

“Hey, Sasuke?” Naruto asked. “Can I, um…can I hold your hand?” He had wanted to do it in the movie, but he wasn’t gonna do _anything_ that might count as invading Sasuke’s personal space. He had to do everything he could to not stuff up this dating thing on purpose! He was sure he’d do enough of that by _accident_ , eventually.

Sasuke glanced at him and was quiet for a moment. “…okay,” he said back after a while, and then he hesitantly held his hand out for Naruto to take.

_…damn, now I’m extra super nervous again!! I should have checked if my hand was sweaty first!_ _What if it starts shaking! Oh my god, who would **ever** want to go on a date anyway!!_

Naruto took a deep breath as subtly as he could, and then reached out to take Sasuke’s hand. He had to bite back a squeal when their hands first touched. _Seriously, Naruto?_ he said to himself. _This isn’t even the first time you’ve touched him! What is **wrong** with you?_

Yeah, but, Naruto hadn’t known about this “personal space” thing back then, so he hadn’t been thinking about it, had he?

_Okay, calm down. You’re not even holding his hand properly at the moment!_

Naruto threaded his fingers through Sasuke’s and let their arms fall down between them. Then he looked away and kept walking, as if he wasn’t totally freaked out to be holding hands with the most gorgeous human being on the planet. As if he wasn’t about to have a heart attack.

Ohh, this was so nice. Naruto squeezed his hand a little tighter and gently moved his thumb back and forth. Sasuke’s hand was warmer than he expected, and so soft.

“Oh,” Sasuke said, glancing at him.

“What?” Naruto exclaimed, alarmed. “Is something wrong?!” He resisted the urge to pull his hand away. He must be doing it wrong. Okay, something else for Sai to research-

“No, nothing,” Sasuke said, and Naruto forced himself to relax. “It’s just that, this is- nice.”

“Really?!” Naruto said.

“Well, it’s not horrible.”

Naruto stared over at him with a sparkling, jubilant expression and Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Stop that,” he said. “I said it wasn’t _horrible_.”

“Ah, right!” Naruto said back, grinning to himself like a madman. They continued walking and Naruto cherished every moment he had Sasuke’s hand in his. It felt incredible. It felt right.

They reached Sasuke’s apartment way too fast. And then, before they’d even reached the front door, it swang wide open and Itachi glared out at them from the darkness.

“You’re late!” he declared, and Naruto flinched and snatched his hand away from Sasuke. What the hell?! How could one person be _that_ terrifying?!

…and then he thought about the blonde witch and positively wilted against the hallway wall.

Sasuke stared right back at his brother, returning his glare calmly. “We are not. I didn’t even give you a time for when I’d be back. Stop trying to scare him!”

Itachi’s glare deepened. “And what seats were you sitting in?!” he demanded.

Naruto was confused. What did he mean?

“Front row, middle,” Sasuke answered promptly, flashing Naruto a look.

“What do you mean, Sas? We were in the back, at the side,” Naruto corrected with a frown.

“I see,” Itachi said, and his expression became positively thunderous.

Naruto took a big step back, inching further away along the wall. Alright, the date was over, so he could run away now right?! “Uh, okay, so I’ll see you tomorrow at school?” he said to Sasuke, casting a wary glance at Itachi.

“Maybe,” Sasuke said with a shrug. “I probably- I might stay home tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay,” Naruto said, disappointed. He wasn’t going to see Sasuke tomorrow...?

“I’ll text you,” Sasuke said, stepping through the doorway. He glanced briefly at his brother and glared. “And, um. …goodnight.”

_Sasuke’s wishing me goodnight. He’s saying goodbye to me after our date. Our **date**_!! Naruto felt all his energy come surging back into him. Okay!!

“Yeah! Goodnight, Sasuke! And, um, Itachi,” he said, making sure to greet the demon brother as well. And when Itachi nodded at him he made his escape, only letting out his held-in breath when he was completely out of sight of those hellish eyes.

…honestly, these Uchiha brothers were going to be the death of him!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to briefly mention the SNS troll that’s been hounding all the fics lately. I’ve decided to stop deleting the comments since they just come back anyway. Please don’t let these comments bother you!! 
> 
> And on that note, **an extra-huge thank you to all my lovely commenters**. With so many trolls and fic-stealers around lately, those genuine comments mean more than you can possibly know. I know that many writers including myself are starting to lose our motivation to post our work. So, **thank you!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well what's this?? A new chapter? And only three months after the last update!! Ahaha...*runs away and hides*. I'm a tad worried that the writing style might not be consistent, but I suppose it can't be helped... Now, shall we take bets about how long it will take me to update again?!

Sasuke woke to the sound of Itachi returning from his morning shift at the hospital. Sasuke knew that his brother would be sticking his head through Sasuke’s door any moment now, so he yawned and stretched and tried to look slightly more alert- and slightly less like he’d been sleeping literally all day.

“Sasuke?” came Itachi’s voice, as he knocked softly and then opened the door. “You’re not really still sleeping, are you?”

“Mm,” Sasuke murmured with a sigh, propping himself up on his pillows. His efforts to wake himself up had completely failed and there didn’t seem any point in hiding it. “I didn’t _mean_ to, but…”

“But, you’re all tired out. Well, it’s been a busy few days,” said Itachi, coming over and sitting down on the edge of the bed. He reached out to push Sasuke’s hair off his face and Sasuke leaned forward, letting himself be petted.

Sasuke wasn’t sure that the past few days had been “busy”- but they _had_ been a little more stressful than he generally cared for. He wasn’t going to complain about that in front of Itachi, though. His brother was already against him dating Naruto officially. There was no way Sasuke was going to complain about just how much _work_ that was proving to be.

Yesterday he’d spent more than an hour deciding what to wear to the movies, even though he knew it would be dark and Naruto wouldn’t be able to see him. As if it mattered what he wore- yet he’d changed clothes at least four times. And Itachi’s stupid comment about the back row being the “make-out spot” had him all on edge and worried about what he’d do if Naruto tried something. Damn his stupid bother and his stupid comments.

And then the weekend _before_ their date had been even worse, god. Naruto didn’t respond to his text on Sunday and he’d freaked out. He didn’t like to admit it. It was stupid, and it was embarrassing. Who cared if Naruto replied or didn’t reply? But…he _had_ cared. It was his first clue that despite his best intentions, he was _interested_ in Naruto. He wanted to see where it would go.

…so then when Naruto texted him on Monday morning, saying that he wanted to _talk_ after school…well, Sasuke’s stress levels had gone through the roof.

So yeah, after all of that, he was more than a little tired today and didn’t make it to school. But he wasn’t going to complain about that to Itachi, oh no. He’d gotten exactly what he wanted. Naruto had been perfectly well behaved yesterday, perfectly compliant and pleasant, and when he’d been holding Sasuke’s hand, it had been…nice. Really nice.

“You’ve gone all pink, Sasuke,” Itachi teased, leaning forward and poking his cheeks. “Do you have a fever? Maybe I should put you on bedrest for the next week.”

Sasuke growled and pulled away from him. No, one day in bed was plenty, thank you very much! “How was work?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Work was fine. So how many texts did you get today?” Itachi asked, changing the subject right on back.

“None. I was _sleeping_ ,” Sasuke lied, glaring at his brother. The real number was three- he’d gotten three texts from Naruto today, and he could tell that the blonde was restraining himself.

“Ah, I see,” Itachi said to that. “So the magic’s gone now that you’ve held hands. He got what he wanted. I told you, Sasuke, boys are only after one thing-”

“Get out,” Sasuke interrupted, poking his tongue out at his ridiculous brother. “Or do you plan to stay here and tease me all afternoon?”

“Certainly I do,” Itachi said with a tiny, barely-there smile. “My baby brother’s got his first boyfriend. This is a momentous occasion for me.”

Sasuke pulled his phone out from under his pillow and sent Naruto a text immediately. _Are you doing anything after school? Can I come over and play video games? Itachi’s too annoying to be around today_. He quickly hit send before he could think about it for too long.

“I see,” Itachi said gravely as he watched Sasuke type. “You don’t have any time for your brother now that you’ve got a boyfriend.”

“He is _not_ my boyfriend!” Sasuke scowled. “I made that very clear to him and if _he_ can understand that, why can’t _you_?”

Itachi gave a long-suffering sigh. “Oh, my precious baby brother…”

“And can you stop calling me ‘ _baby_ ’?! I’m bringing you to my next appointment. My therapist thinks I’m making all this stuff up!”

Itachi grinned widely and Sasuke cringed. No, he was sure that Itachi had no intention whatsoever to stop teasing him about Naruto. It must be his new tactic. If scaring him about Naruto hadn’t worked, and _forbidding_ him to see Naruto hadn’t worked, then he would tease the hell out of him until the very idea of dating Naruto became unbearable.

Sasuke’s phone vibrated and he snatched it up. _Yes, come over!!_ it read. _My roommate’s gonna be here, that’s okay right? I should be home in an hour._

Good, that would give Sasuke time for a shower and to decide what to wear. He pushed himself up and made to get out of bed. “Are you planning on leaving any time soon?” he growled to his brother. “I need to get changed.”

“Two days in a row,” Itachi mused. “Eager, aren’t you.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes and chose to ignore that.

***

Sasuke knocked on Naruto’s door and then stood back and waited. In the end he’d chosen a pretty standard outfit: jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, and his jacket over the top. It’s not like Naruto was into him for his looks, anyway- how _could_ he be- so it didn’t really matter. He shouldn’t let himself get so stressed over things like that. For whatever unknown reason that Naruto was interested in him for, it had to be something else.

“Sasuke!!” Naruto exclaimed when he opened the door, smiling that sunny, bright smile of his. “Hi! Come in, come in!”

Sasuke bit back a wince. Naruto was just so _loud!_ He was getting used to it, though. Maybe his voice just sounded louder to Sasuke because he’d literally spent the whole day alone in his bed. “Hi, Naruto,” he said, stepping inside. “How was school?”

“Awful,” Naruto replied dramatically. “Ino and Sakura just would not stop teasing me about- well, about _you_ ,” he went on, blushing a little.

Sasuke smiled to himself. Naruto sure did blush a lot. Sasuke would never have thought that the boisterous and over-confident blonde could get embarrassed and flustered so easily, and yet apparently he _could_.

“Yeah, I get that,” Sasuke said, following Naruto through the front door to his kitchen. “My brother, you know…”

“I can’t imagine Itachi teasing anyone,” Naruto said with a visible shudder. “He’s so _scary_!”

Sasuke bit back a laugh. No, Itachi was a _kitten_ , when you knew how to work him. He wasn’t about to tell Naruto that, though. His fear of Sasuke’s older brother might come in handy one day.

“So what’s all this?” Sasuke asked, looking around the kitchen. The table was stacked high with textbooks and paper print-outs, and there was a huge whiteboard by the wall with scrawled handwriting all over it.

A boy appeared from behind the whiteboard and Sasuke jumped. “It’s a plan,” the boy said, crossing his arms and gazing over at Sasuke.

 _It’s just his roommate_ , Sasuke told himself. _Don’t embarrass yourself, honestly._

“Sai, could you not jump out from behind there please? You scared Sasuke!” Naruto scolded, looking cross. “…and it’s creepy anyway…”

Sasuke was aghast. Naruto had noticed him jumping? How mortifying.

“Sasuke, you haven’t met Sai yet, right? My roommate?” Naruto went on, turning to face him and smiling.

“We met briefly on Saturday,” Sasuke reminded him. “When we were playing video games?”

“Oh, that’s right!” Naruto exclaimed. “Jeez, that seems like ages ago. Anyway, yeah, we’re…making a plan. A study plan. Well, _Sai_ is making one,” he added, waving at all the books and the whiteboard, wrinkling his nose with disgust.

“I see,” Sasuke commented. “How…ambitious.” He wouldn’t have thought that Naruto would be interested in all that.

“Naruto is failing,” Sai informed him, shuffling some papers around.

“Sai!!” Naruto exclaimed. “I’m _not_! I just- well, I _might_ be, unless I do really, really well on my midterms. So, I’m gonna study. And it will be fine!” Naruto added, glaring at his roommate.

“Do you really have time to play video games then?” Sasuke asked, suddenly worried. Naruto was failing? Sasuke had pretty much just invited himself over without even thinking about it- but it was a school night. Naruto probably had homework and stuff.

“Of course I have time!” Naruto quickly replied. “I’ve already been studying all day!”

 _What, at school?_ Sasuke thought to himself wryly.

“I have accounted for his socialization time in the schedule,” Sai said to him, pointing at the board. “It’s in the purple colour.”

Sasuke squinted at the chart that Sai was drawing on the whiteboard. It was…elaborate. Somehow, Sasuke got the feeling that Naruto’s roommate was not a man to be messed with.

“Come on, let’s go play, Sasuke,” Naruto said, giving Sai a pointed look and then directing Sasuke to the couch. He pulled a jug of water out of the refrigerator and grabbed a few glasses. “After all, I have to do a whole _hour_ of studying before bed tonight, if you can believe it!”

 _An hour, huh. How terrible,_ Sasuke thought to himself with amusement. He himself would probably study for at least two before he went to sleep.

“Um, thanks for getting the movie tickets yesterday,” Sasuke said to Sai as they left the kitchen.

Sai nodded. “How were the seats? Because I-”

“ _Sai_!!” Naruto said. “Don’t, please!”

Naruto and Sai’s apartment was about the same size as his and Itachi’s, but Naruto’s living areas were all open-planned instead of separated like theirs. Itachi had chosen their apartment because you could close the kitchen off from the rest of the rooms, and Sasuke liked that. Here, the kitchen was pretty much the centre of everything.

The couch faced away from the kitchen though, so you could pretty much ignore it. And Naruto’s apartment had a definite warm, inviting feel to it; there were big windows on both walls and the sun was streaming in. There weren’t any curtains, he noticed. And just like at his place, there were books and magazines all over the place, even if the topics of said books and magazines were a little different.

“I’m gonna win this time, Sasuke,” Naruto promised as they settled down on the couch. He handed Sasuke a controller and some cushions- even a blanket- and then poured them both some water before starting up the game. “Just you wait and see!”

Sasuke set himself up on the couch, oddly touched at how accommodating Naruto was being. The blanket he’d been given- a big, burnt-orange thing- was fuzzy and soft, and he had to resist the urge to wrap himself up in it. That probably would have seemed a little odd.

“Are we playing the same game as on the weekend?” Sasuke asked. “Mortal something-or-other?”

“Yes,” Naruto confirmed. “But you’re not allowed to play as any of the same characters, okay? You gotta play as new ones!”

“Oh, is that how you plan on winning?” Sasuke asked, giving him an innocent look. “By handicapping me?”

Naruto gasped and looked highly offended. “Sasuke! You’ll see, I’m gonna whip you!”

Sasuke nodded. “Yes, yes, I’m sure you will.”

The game began and Sasuke couldn’t help but enjoy himself. Naruto just looked so frustrated whenever Sasuke mastered a new character. The blonde threw his whole self into the effort of beating Sasuke, moving around on the couch, his arms flailing wildly- as if holding the controller closer to the screen and pressing the buttons harder would make a difference.

“Damn you, Sasuke!” he shrieked when he lost yet again. “How are you so good?!”

Sasuke smiled. He didn’t know, but surely staying calm and focused was better than the way Naruto was playing- even if his antics _were_ entertaining.

Naruto lost their “best of three” and instantly challenged Sasuke again. They spent another hour playing games before Sasuke noticed that Sai was starting to make dinner in the kitchen. He shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

 _Ignore it,_ he told himself sternly. _Don’t be a freak in front of Naruto! Don’t be so high-maintenance!_ It was so annoying. He and Naruto were having a perfectly nice time- who cared what was going on just a few metres away from him?

“Sasuke, are you staying for dinner?” Sai asked, coming over to the kitchen with a sauce-covered wooden spoon in hand. “There’s plenty.”

Sasuke winced; he couldn’t help it.

“I already told you he’s not staying, Sai. It’s just gonna be us, okay?” Naruto said, giving his roommate a look.

Sai stared blankly at the blonde for a few moments. “Oh, right. Okay.” And then he turned and went back into the kitchen.

“Sorry, Sasuke,” Naruto murmured once he was gone. “I, uh. I mean, I told him some stuff about- well, I guess he just doesn’t get it?”

Sasuke pulled at the edges of his sleeves, suddenly feeling very awkward. “No, it’s fine,” he said. “It was really nice of him to ask me to stay. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“Oh! No, don’t worry about it, really!” Naruto said, waving it off. “Even if you tried being deliberately rude, Sai wouldn’t get it, ha. Come on, let’s play some more okay?”

Sasuke managed to concentrate for almost another twenty minutes before he got decisively more uncomfortable with the sounds and smells coming from the kitchen. It was his own fault for coming over here so close to dinner time. Why hadn’t he thought it through a little more? But…

“Um, Naruto,” Sasuke said in a low voice, edging closer to him. “Could we…could we go for a walk? Just, um, I…”

Naruto looked at him and must have seen how he glanced over into the kitchen. He nodded. “Yeah, let’s go for a walk. It’s getting pretty late anyway- wow, I didn’t even notice the time! How about I walk you home?”

Sasuke nodded. “…thanks,” he said, feeling embarrassed and stupid.

Naruto smiled brightly. “And good timing, since you were about to beat me again! You know that this counts as you forfeiting, right?”

Sasuke scoffed at that. Forfeiting?? “It does _not_! I’ll accept it as a tie, but-”

“Ah, okay, a tie!” Naruto agreed quickly, and Sasuke laughed. That seemed to surprise the blonde, and he smiled wider. “Even though I think you still win overall, Sas. I’m gonna find another game for us to play next time!”

They said goodbye to Sai and wandered down the street towards Sasuke’s apartment. They walked in silence- it was a little awkward. Sasuke really hoped he hadn’t offended Naruto or bothered him by asking to leave. _But I guess he’ll find out for himself soon enough. How much work I am. How much of a pain._

Naruto seemed a little tense, and that put Sasuke on edge too. But then he noticed Naruto glancing down at his hand out of the corner of his eye.

 _Oh, right!_ Sasuke thought. _Is that all he wants…?_ He held out his hand in front of Naruto, and then blonde blinked and stared at him.

“Really?” Naruto asked, surprised. “Can I?”

“Do you want it or not?” Sasuke said, narrowing his eyes, feeling like an idiot just walking along with his arm in the air. “I can take it back-”

“No, I want it!” Naruto quickly said, grabbing Sasuke’s hand and squeezing it. He made a happy little noise and looked so delighted. It was…cute.

“If just holding my hand makes you this happy, you’re going to be very easy to please,” Sasuke commented, hoping that Naruto would take that as teasing.

Naruto grinned. “I’ve been told that!” he said. “Oh, and I’m really sorry about before. I should have thought to tell Sai not to make dinner. It didn’t even occur to me until he’d already started.”

“It’s fine, really,” Sasuke said, wracking his brain for a way to change the subject before they got stuck on _that_ topic. “It was fun. I’ve never played video games before. I guess we never really had them when I was growing up.”

“Oh, me neither!” Naruto said to that. “Well, not really. At this one house there was like, hundreds of board games. It was amazing! But Sai bought me that console when I moved in. It was so sweet of him. He even plays with me, sometimes.”

 _This one house_ , Sasuke mused in his head. He wondered what Naruto meant by that- had he even meant to say it? He knew that Naruto didn’t have any parents, though he didn’t know how _long_ Naruto hadn’t had parents for. But he must have had foster parents at some stage, right? That must be what he meant.

“Hey, Naruto?” he asked. “How long have you lived in this town?”

“Hmm…” Naruto hummed. “Not so long. It’s nice though, right? Not too big.”

Sasuke nodded. He and Itachi had just needed a change after everything that had happened. And as long as there was a decent hospital for Itachi to work at, his brother didn’t mind where they lived- or so he claimed. Sasuke secretly thought he’d prefer to be in a big city with more interesting cases, so he could get more experience. But even just the _thought_ of moving back to the city made Sasuke feel nauseous. This place was good- even though they lived in the centre of town and close to everything, he never felt penned in or stared at.

“Oh, Ino wanted me to ask you about the tutoring,” Naruto suddenly asked. “If you really meant it when you said you’d help her. She said she’d pay you and everything- I think she’s actually really worried about midterms.”

He thought about it. He’d never tutored anyone before, but there was no reason why he couldn’t _try_. Ino seemed like a nice enough person in class- quiet and serious- but she hadn’t seemed that way the other day around Naruto. _Then_ she’d seemed just as loud as Naruto.

“Sure, I’ll give it a go,” Sasuke said cautiously. “We could just study in the library after school? Tomorrow, even. If she wants to.”

“Ah, okay! I’ll let her know!” Naruto said with a smile. “Thanks, Sas! And don’t worry, she’s really nice. You’ll like her! …um, probably.”

That was the second time today that Naruto had called him _Sas_. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. No-one had ever called him that before- he wasn’t really a nickname kind-of person. “Mm, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Sasuke said, choosing to ignore it for now.

“I had such a good time yesterday,” Naruto went on. “I was so nervous though! I don’t know why. And I got to hang out with you again today. It’s so nice,” Naruto gushed, his cheeks going pink.

Well, it _was_ nice. Naruto’s hand was warm and soft; Sasuke found he didn’t actually mind walking along holding hands. Naruto was running his thumb in little circles over Sasuke’s wrist. Did he know he was doing it? It felt so nice and familiar. It was strange- Sasuke didn’t like anyone touching him at _all_. He barely tolerated Itachi doing it, and his brother was very careful.

And hearing Naruto admit that he’d been nervous too…it was comforting.

Sasuke stopped walking and dropped Naruto’s hand. “Hey,” he began, shifting awkwardly. “You can, um. You can…hug me, if you like…”

Naruto blinked, giving him a blank look. “Uh,” he said. “…really?”

Sasuke blushed; a deep, violent-red blush. As if Naruto even _wanted_ to hug him! Sasuke was crazy. He looked down at his feet, wishing he hadn’t said it. “…yeah,” he forced out. “Um, if you want to-”

-and then he was interrupted by Naruto rushing to his side, and then Sasuke was suddenly and entirely enveloped in Naruto’s warm, sturdy arms. Sasuke froze and stiffened at the unexpected feel of Naruto all around him.

“ _Oh_ ,” he gasped, forcing himself to take a deep breath; his whole body started burning. _Relax, you freak_ , he told himself sternly, _it’s just a hug, he’s just **hugging** you, it’s no big deal-_

Sasuke started to feel faint and he let his head fall down to rest against Naruto’s shoulder, nestling there in the crook of his neck. He breathed, trying not to pant, and gradually his muscles unclenched and he wrapped his arms around Naruto’s waist.

“Hey, your brother can’t see us from here, can he?” Naruto murmured, his breath warm and soft and tickling Sasuke’s ear. Sasuke shivered. “He’s a doctor, after all. He could kill me and make it look like an accident.”

Sasuke laughed under his breath, and at that he completely relaxed, leaning into Naruto’s touch. “He’ll be able to see us once we turn the corner,” he said. “…if he’s looking out the window.”

“Ah, okay. Noted,” Naruto said with a chuckle, bringing a hand up to trail through Sasuke’s hair, running a finger lightly across his bare neck.

Sasuke bit his lip. That was- nice. It felt really good. Too good. _Oh, this is too much!_ He wriggled around and Naruto opened his arms and released him, letting Sasuke stumble away.

“Sorry, Sas,” Naruto said, looking sheepish. “That- um…”

“It was fine,” Sasuke quickly said, stepping forward and taking his hand again. “Let’s get going, okay?”

Naruto nodded. “Okay! Sai will be wondering what’s taking me so long, anyway.”

They arrived at Sasuke’s apartment and Naruto walked him to his front door on the second level. This time Itachi stayed away, instead of slamming the door open like he had last night. Maybe Sasuke’s tongue-lashing yesterday had done some good. Brothers were so embarrassing!

“You really don’t need to worry about Itachi, you know,” Sasuke said, stepping away from Naruto and reaching for the door handle. “He’s just- I guess he’s a little over-protective.”

“Must be nice,” Naruto mused. “For _you_ , at least! I think I’ll stay a little worried, though!”

Sasuke smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school?”

“Right,” Naruto said. “See you tomorrow!”

Sasuke walked inside and then carefully, deliberately closed the door behind him, waiting until he heard Naruto walk away before he completely unravelled.

He gasped and fell back onto the door, sliding down to the ground and breathing heavily. Naruto had _touched_ him, had held him so close; Sasuke could still _feel_ Naruto’s breath on his skin, could still smell that unique, comforting scent. Naruto had been so warm, wrapped all around him.

 _Pull yourself together,_ he ordered himself, as his brought his knees to his chest and trembled. _What is **wrong** with you?! You’re eighteen years old and freaking out because a boy **hugged** you._

Oh, but he couldn’t help it. Naruto _liked_ him. For whatever reason- and Sasuke just couldn’t imagine what it was- Naruto liked him, he wanted to spend time together, he wanted to hold hands and hug and _touch_.

“Sasuke…?” Itachi called out, peering at him from the kitchen. “What’s wrong?”

 _Nothing’s wrong,_ Sasuke said to himself, still trembling, still shaking. _Except that a boy likes me and I like him back and I’m **screwed**._

…shit. This was really messed-up.

***

The next day Sasuke found himself sitting opposite Ino in the library, studying hard. From the start of their session Ino had been serious and 100% applied to the task of reviewing the last month’s worth of content. Sasuke was relieved- she’d seemed so loud and giggly the other day with Naruto and Sakura. But it was fine, and Sasuke quickly relaxed and got into the swing of things.

“I really appreciate this, Sasuke,” Ino said, a frown overtaking her whole face. “Calculus has just been getting away from me this year! I don’t know what happened…”

“We’ve stepped up to a new level this term, though,” Sasuke said back, trying to sound comforting- not that he really knew how to do that. “These are much more complex concepts we’re dealing with, especially compared to last year.”

“So they lull you into a false sense of security and then they hit you with all this right before midterms,” Ino moaned.

“Exactly,” Sasuke said. He glanced over to the other side of the study space, where Naruto and Sakura were tucked up doing their own math homework. Sasuke had to admit that he’d been impressed- for the whole hour that he and Ino had been studying, Naruto and Sakura had been doing the same, even if Naruto _did_ look miserable doing it.

“Hey, Ino,” Sasuke began, feeling slightly awkward. “Is Naruto really failing?”

“Oh, yes,” Ino said with a grin. “But don’t worry! We won’t let him. You know, he never took school seriously at all before he started here last year. But he’s improving- slowly.”

“He missed a year too, didn’t he?” Sasuke asked. “Like me?”

Ino nodded. “He was really behind. But he’s a charmer and he had all the teachers on his side in no time. Everyone does what they can to help him.”

 _Well, he **is** a charmer,_ Sasuke silently agreed. He was relieved to know that Naruto had the school staff on his side. Even _he_ felt out of place sometimes, being a year older than everyone else. He figured it had to bother someone like Naruto even more.

“What’s he planning to do next year?” Sasuke went on. “…if you don’t mind me asking.”

She smiled at that, gazing over at Naruto quickly. “Maybe you should ask him. It may surprise you!”

…damn. Sasuke felt curious now, despite himself. “Maybe I will,” he murmured.

“You’re going on to study math at the university around the corner, aren’t you?” Ino asked.

Sasuke nodded. “That’s why we moved here, so I could join the enrichment program they’ve got. I’ve already started my degree, actually. Just a few classes a week.” He stared down at the table, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. He was such a _nerd._

Ino sighed. “That must be nice, having it all figured out. Okay, let’s study!! Or I won’t be getting into any uni at all.”

They studied for another thirty minutes, by which time Naruto and Sakura had given up and were laughing and joking over in the corner. Ino thanked Sasuke profusely for his help, and they set up another session for the same time next week. And then Ino and Sakura sped out of the library, with Sasuke and Naruto following behind at a more leisurely pace.

Sasuke was _exhausted_. It felt like he’d spent more time talking to people and being around new faces this week than he had all _year_. All he wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep for a whole month.

“Everything okay?” Naruto asked, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

“I’m fine,” Sasuke answered, slipping his hand into Naruto’s. “I’m going to walk you home this time, okay?”

Naruto started down at their hands, wide-eyed and surprised. “Oh, okay!” he said with a giddy smile. “Aww, that’s kinda nice actually. Someone walking _me_ home for a change!”

Sasuke smiled at him, and they walked along in silence once again. This time, though, the silence was comfortable. Naruto seemed content and happy to just be there by his side. Sasuke wondered if Naruto knew just how tired he was, and that he needed a break from all that talking.

“Don’t worry, it’s almost the weekend!” Naruto said to him when they reached his apartment. “…even though Sai’s schedule has me studying like, the whole time,” he added, grumbling.

“We can study together if you like,” Sasuke found himself saying, and was surprised by his own words- did he mean it?! Oh, but he did; he _did_ want to see Naruto over the weekend.

“Really?! Thanks, Sasuke! Somehow just watching you study makes me feel all inspired!” Naruto exclaimed, a fired-up look of determination coming into his eyes.

Sasuke nodded. “Sure. We’ll arrange something.”

Naruto’s whole being seemed to radiate with happiness at that. Sasuke desperately tried to control the heat in his cheeks before he started blushing- he’d had enough of that!

The two of them stood there at Naruto’s front door, falling into silence again. Sasuke shifted. He…he wanted to hug Naruto goodbye, but he…the way he’d reacted yesterday almost certainly had made Naruto think he’d done something wrong.

“Um, Sasuke?” Naruto asked. “I really want to hug you again, but I know you like your personal space, so…”

“…you can hug me,” Sasuke said to that. “It’s okay.” _It’s more than okay,_ he added in his head. _I **want** you to!_

Naruto grinned. Sasuke took a deep breath and then Naruto was hugging him again, just a quick, tight squeeze this time before he stepped away and fished his key out of his pocket. “Thanks for today, Sasuke! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“…see you tomorrow,” Sasuke repeated, watching Naruto go inside and close the door. His whole body was tingling and he was almost disappointed that this hug had been so quick. Yesterday it had felt like Naruto couldn’t bear the thought of letting go of him.

 _It’s because you pushed him away yesterday,_ Sasuke told himself angrily. Yes, that was true; it was his own fault.

Sasuke headed down the stairs and towards his own apartment. He’d told Naruto himself that he wanted to take things slow; really, really slowly. And if his body was now apparently having other ideas about what it wanted- well, maybe that wasn’t for the best. No, it really wasn’t a good idea.

 _And for god’s sake,_ he scolded himself. _Stop thinking about kissing him!_

***


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been attacking this story with all my energy this week! I’m determined to give y’ll semi-regular updates until the end. At the moment, I can (tentatively) promise **two chapters a month** \- I’m going back to uni this week though!
> 
> Something New is still very difficult for me to write, and it just keeps getting longer and longer- these boys just take sooooo long to do anything!! At this stage I’m anticipating maybe 25~30 chapters.
> 
> This chapter is VERY Naruto-centric, focusing on our poor sunshine boy’s issues. The next chapter will be all about Naruto & Sasuke’s developing relationship. **The usual trigger warnings apply, particularly for depression.**

Naruto’s councillor had said something odd to him the other day: _at a certain point, it stops being useful to deny the truth about things_.

Naruto had been annoyed- no, he’d been _angry_. Tsunade hadn’t been talking about Naruto’s horrible grades at the time, but that was all he could think about. And he wasn’t “in denial” about his very low chances of graduating this year, he was just choosing to be positive and optimistic about it all! If he followed Sai’s plan, if he kept doing his homework and spending extra time studying, then everything would be _fine,_ and that’s exactly what he’d keep telling everyone!

And yet. And yet…as he sat in the empty classroom with his math teacher after school that afternoon, what Tsunade had said began to make more sense. No amount of sitting at a table with his textbook open in front of him was helping- he just didn’t _get_ this stuff!

 _Who the hell cares about math_ , Naruto thought to himself. He didn’t see why Ino and Sasuke liked it so much. It was boring, and it was way too difficult for someone like _him_ to understand anyway. What was the point?

Naruto growled under his breath and slammed the textbook shut. At the front of the room, Asuma-sensei took a long drag of his cigarette and gazed over at him with a relaxed, unconcerned expression. Naruto’s math teacher didn’t seem to mind spending extra time helping him study, as long as Naruto kept silent on him smoking in front of students.

“Feeling frustrated?” Asuma-sensei asked, blowing a puff of smoke out the open window and stretching. “Perhaps we need to revise Pythagoras’s Theorem again,” he suggested.

Naruto growled again. “We _don’t!_ ” he said with a scowl. “That stuff won’t even be on the test!”

“Hmm, well,” Asuma-sensei said to that, “perhaps, and perhaps not, but it’ll be easier to understand _this_ stuff if you’re more comfortable with Pythagoras.”

No. Pythagoras was a real bastard and no-one would _ever_ be comfortable with him. He’d probably been ugly as fuck as well. “The exam is less than two weeks away!” Naruto said, hating the panicky tone that was slipping into his voice. “And _nothing_ makes sense. It’s like all the studying I’ve been doing was just a waste!” And just think, he could have been spending that time with _Sasuke_.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Asuma-sensei responded, putting out his cigarette and moving over to Naruto’s side. “If you really have been following that schedule that Sai emailed me-”

“You’ve seen the schedule?!” Naruto squeaked, embarrassed and indignant. Sai wouldn’t go _that_ far, would he?!

“-it’s obvious to anyone how much better your concentration in class is these days,” Asuma-sensei went on, ignoring his outburst. “You used to spend all your time looking out the window or texting. Now you’re actually doing the work. So no, the studying you’ve been doing has not been a waste.”

Naruto turned away. Well, Ino had been holding onto his phone during class lately, so he couldn’t have texted anyone even if he wanted to. So… “I’m still gonna fail,” he sulked. Naruto had passed very few tests in his life. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure why he’d bothered coming back to high school. And it’s not like the guys here were worth sleeping with, so-

“You might fail one or two of your tests,” Asuma went on, and Naruto stiffened. How _rude!_ “But I doubt you’ll fail _all_ of them. And you can do make-up tests and assessments, if necessary.”

Naruto frowned. But he…he didn’t _want_ to fail any of them, not when he’d been trying so hard. It wasn’t fair! “Can we do that Pythagon stuff again, then?” he asked, doing his best to not sound like a sulky toddler. “If you say it will help.”

“ _Pythagoras_ ,” Asuma corrected. “Good. We’ll study for another 15 minutes, and then you can go home.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said, feeling miserable. And at least then he could find Ino in the library and get his phone back. Maybe Sasuke had been trying to text him. At that thought, Naruto felt himself brighten up just a little. Yes, Sasuke _definitely_ would have texted him by now, and maybe he was even waiting in the library as well. “Okay, let’s do it!” he said to Asuma, sitting up straighter and reaching for his box.

“Good boy,” Asuma praised. “We’ve been making a lot of progress. You’ll get there, I know you will.”

Well, Naruto didn’t know about that, but maybe- just maybe- he’d scrape through these tests well enough to pass. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Tsunade’s face when he handed her his report card.

***

Sasuke wasn’t in the library that afternoon, but he _had_ sent Naruto multiple texts- a whole saga, in fact, about Itachi’s latest way to make his life miserable. Naruto grinned to himself as he read the messages. And then all of a sudden Ino grabbed onto him from behind, wrapping him up in a tight bear-hug.

“What’s this for?!” he exclaimed, frozen in place and surprised by his friend’s unexpected show of emotion.

“I couldn’t help it, you’re just so _happy_!” Ino gushed, squeezing him tighter. “And that makes _me_ happy! Sasuke’s been so good for you.”

“I’ve always been happy,” Naruto protested, taking a deep breath and stepping away from Ino as soon as she let him go.

Ino grinned. “Well, this is a different kind of happiness. A- a better kind. A safer kind!”

A _safer_ kind of happiness? Naruto had no idea what she meant by that, but he was secretly pleased by her words. After all, Ino had been so worried about Sasuke in the beginning. He still remembered her look of instant distrust when Naruto had first mentioned his name. But she’d been really great about it all since then.

“Um, thanks,” Naruto said to her, smiling back. “I think?”

“It’s a good thing, don’t worry,” Ino reassured him. “Anyway I’m sticking around to study for a bit longer, but you can go now if you like. I know you’re desperate to call your boyfriend!”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Naruto protested at once, looking around him to make sure no-one had overheard. Sasuke had been very insistent on taking things slow, and Naruto didn’t want to do anything to put him off. “Ino, you can’t say that!”

“Right, right,” Ino said, waving off his concerns. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Have a good night.”

Naruto sighed, slinging his bag across his shoulder and heading out of the library. Ino was a great friend, really, but…well. _Best to just leave it at that. She’s a good friend!_ Naruto told himself as he left the school building and headed home. _And at least now I get to call Sasuke!_ he added with glee.

“So tell me more,” Naruto said as soon as Sasuke answered the phone. “What’s he done now?”

There was a long-suffering, frustrated sigh from the other end of the phone. “He says he’s doing a research paper on _Adolescent Relationships_ and that’s why there’s so many pamphlets and textbooks lying around the house!”

Naruto grinned to himself. He could almost see Sasuke’s disgusted expression just based on the tone of his voice. “What kind of pamphlets?” he asked, and in the background he could hear Sasuke moving around his apartment and the rustle of paper.

“This one is called _Emotional IQ and Your Teen_ ,” Sasuke said with a growl. “As if I’m _his_ teen! And this one is called _Hormonal Hell: Equipping Your Teen With Vital Survival Skills_. Again, I am _not_ -”

“-his teen,” Naruto supplied, still grinning. “They sound just like the pamphlets all over the clinic walls.” Well, those plus the more explicit ones that the councillors had put up for his benefit, ones with very clear instructions on where to go for STD testing. As if Naruto didn’t already know all that.

“And the textbooks! They’ve got these _pictures_ in them, Naruto! They’re awful,” Sasuke complained. “He leaves them open to the worst pages.”

“Could he actually have a paper to write, though?” Naruto asked, trying to imagine what kind of pictures Sasuke would find awful.

“He works in the ED,” Sasuke said to that, his voice full of scorn. “And that’s where he wants to stay. He’s always hated working on the psych ward! Though that doesn’t stop him from thinking he’s some kind of expert on it all.”

Yes, Naruto could imagine that. Itachi seemed exactly that kind of person. “I’m very sorry for your suffering,” he said, trying to sound sympathetic and to hide his amusement.

“Honestly, he did _one_ psych unit at uni and thinks he knows everything,” Sasuke went on.

“I look forward to seeing these books and pamphlets, then,” Naruto said.

“Ugh. I’ll burn them all before you come over. Anyway…how was your day? Your study session?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto tried to supress his feeling of joy at just how casually Sasuke had mentioned him coming over, like it was something perfectly normal that they just did now. “Ah, it was good. I’m all set with that Pythagoras stuff now.”

“Mm, that’ll be helpful,” Sasuke said to that. “Hey, did you know that he claimed to have been reincarnated four times?”

“Who? Pythagoras?” Naruto asked.

“Yeah. He said in one of his past lives he was a woman. A _courtesan_.”

Naruto blinked. “…seriously?!” he exclaimed. “Wasn’t he like, some anciently-old boring Greek math geek?”

Sasuke laughed at that. “Yeah, well, it’s just what I read in a book one time. And as for the boring math geek part, you’re _dating_ a boring math geek, you know.”

Naruto froze on the spot and turned bright red. “Ah-ahh, um, right, well,” he stammered. “…I am?!” he added. _Dating. He says we’re **dating**. That’s one step away from boyfriends, right?!_

“Oh, I gotta go, Itachi’s home. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Sasuke said.

“Right, tomorrow!” Naruto squeezed out, and when Sasuke hung up he staggered over to a brick fence and leaned against it, breathing heavily and feeling faint. Oh, Naruto was _lost_. He was so into Sasuke it was crazy.

 _Just one word, that’s all it takes to get me like this,_ Naruto scolded himself, feeling supremely uncool. _I’ll probably faint when he says we’re boyfriends. If he says it. **If**._

And the truth was, if Naruto had made any progress at school these past few weeks, it was all thanks to Sasuke. Asuma was right, he used to spend all his time in class doing anything but study. Mostly he’d be reminiscing about the previous night and trying to decide where he best chance at getting laid that weekend was. Or he’d be texting his contacts, making plans to meet up.

Well, he hadn’t done any of that in ages. Even just thinking about it made him feel…weird. Wrong.

Naruto really _had_ tried at the whole school and study thing when he first came to this town and moved in with Sai. It’d just all been so hard and there were so many other things to do, so… _But that’s all over now,_ Naruto told himself harshly. _You are going to keep studying, and you are going to pass those tests! Believe it!_

He took another deep breath and pushed himself off the brick wall, laughing at himself as he did so. If he’d ever put half as much effort into school as he did in seducing some of his more difficult conquests, those tests would be no problem at all. _So! I can do it!_ He slipped his phone back into his pocket and made his way home.

***

Naruto sat in the waiting-room at the clinic for his regular session with Tsunade, scowling to himself. He could be doing so many other things with this time. Studying, or sleeping, or playing video games with Sasuke. But no, here he was again- and he’d promised Sai and Ino that he’d keep his appointments, dammit, so he couldn’t even sneak off.

“Naruto?” Tsunade called from her door, and he jumped to his feet, stalking across the room to her office. “A pleasure to see you again as well,” Tsunade said, shifting to let him pass her.

“Mm,” Naruto said by way of greeting, settling down on the couch and pouring himself some water.

“How’s the studying going?” Tsunade asked as she sat down opposite him. “Not too long to go now. A week?”

 _God, she gets right to it doesn’t she,_ Naruto said to himself, somewhat bitterly. “Nothing to worry about!” he declared, taking a piece of paper from his pocket and handing it over to her.

“ _Naruto Uzumaki has been studying very hard and will pass all his exams_ ,” Tsunade read from the paper. “What’s this? A note from your teachers?”

“And it’s not forged, either!” Naruto said, passing her another paper- a photo of him holding the note, with Asuma-sensei and Kakashi-sensei standing next to him. His teachers had enthusiastically signed the bottom of the paper, with Kakashi-sensei even adding a somewhat rude and explicit drawing next to his name. Really, his teachers weren’t too bad, some of the time.

“They seem very confident,” Tsunade said, placing the two pieces of paper down on the coffee-table, her expression blank as usual. “And you’re sticking to your schedule?”

“Like clockwork,” Naruto said, leaning back on the couch and folding his arms across his chest.

“It should all be fine, then,” Tsunade said.

Yeah, right, Naruto thought to himself. He wasn’t fooled! He knew that Tsunade believed he would fail. Look, Naruto knew that he was a no-good, constantly-messing-up, kinda-whore-y guy who was definitely not what you’d call smart, but that didn’t mean he- wait, where had he been going with that? Well, the point was, he had his own unique talents to make up for being so dumb.

“And your friends are being supportive?” Tsunade went on.

“Yeah yeah, I’m making Ino hold onto my phone during class like you said I should,” Naruto said in response. “And everyone knows that I’ll just be staying at home and being boring until my tests are over.” Though, having said that, he hadn’t been going out that much since he met Sasuke anyway.

“Good, I’m pleased,” Tsunade said. “It seems like you’re giving yourself every chance to pass.”

A chance. Just a _chance_. He sighed. Well, it would all be over soon, one way or the other.

His session dragged on and Tsunade grilled him about the rest of his life, asking her usual intrusive, no-business-of-hers questions until the hour was up and he could escape.

***

Naruto attacked his books as soon as he got home from the clinic. He’d show her who was going to pass these exams, and with flying colours as well! Or, at least, what counted as flying colours for _him_.

He set to work on a practice exam that Kakashi had set him and would mark tomorrow. Apparently, knowing the right method to answer exam questions was just as important as knowing the actual answer, which Naruto thought was complete bullshit. But if that’s what he had to do to get his passing grade, then he’d do it!

He knew he was lucky to have such supportive teachers. And if it all worked out- he’d be happy to show them that they hadn’t wasted their time. He’d be happy to show Ino that she was right to believe in him. And he’d feel so much better about being with Sasuke. Even though passing these exams would still put him miles out of Sasuke’s league, it was _something_ at least.

More than an hour went by. That was usually his limit with studying but he was determined to finish this practice exam in one go like Kakashi-sensei had told him to do. So he pushed on, and if his eyes kept wandering over to his sock drawer where his last pack of cigarettes was hidden- well, he couldn’t help that, could he?

 _That’ll have to be good enough_ , Naruto thought to himself thirty minutes later when he finished the last question. He should re-read his answers, but…he needed to smoke. He just really, _really_ needed to. And he’d been good about it lately, so he deserved one.

It was blissful. No sex and no smoking, that was the resolution he made- with Ino’s instance- more than a month ago when he’d fallen for Sasuke. Obviously, the no sex thing was the more important one, so slipping up a few times and smoking was fine, wasn’t it?

 _I haven’t even **wanted** to sleep with anyone,_ Naruto mused to himself. This was probably the longest he’d ever been without it in _years_.

And as for the smoking… _I won’t have another one after this_ , Naruto promised. He breathed in deep, closing his eyes and letting that heady, blissful feeling spread through him. _I’ll go back to studying next._ It was gonna be great, he was going to pass, without even cheating or bribing or blackmailing anyone.

Naruto couldn’t even remember all the times he’d been caught out in the past. There was one time in particular, though…he’d been so young. They shouldn’t make seven-year-olds do tests anyway! His foster dad had promised him a treat if he’d passed, so yeah, Naruto had cheated and gotten his reward. And then when Naruto’s cheating was discovered, the bastard had done that whole “I’m so disappointed in you” routine. As if it even mattered. Naruto left that place a few months later anyway.

…and the trip to the movies had been worth it. So no, it hadn’t been his last time cheating. But really, hadn’t even cared enough about school to cheat the past few years.

“Naruto,” came Sai’s voice, and he blinked and found his roommate staring at him from the doorway.

“Ah, Sai!” Naruto gasped, sitting up and dumping the cigarette into a glass of water. “I wasn’t- it was just this once, I promise!”

Sai gazed steadily back, not looking bothered. “I just came in to ask what you wanted for dinner,” he went on.

-right. Right, Sai didn’t mind if he smoked, so- “Anything’s fine, thanks Sai!” Naruto said, his heart still pounding in his chest. _Why do I feel so guilty?!_ He glanced over at the clock- it was 6pm. “I’m gonna study some more, so we’ll eat at say, 7?”

Sai nodded, and left the room.

Naruto collapsed onto his pillow, looking at the drowned cigarette with a dark, forlorn feeling. It had felt good, but he was suddenly overcome with the need to confess. He picked up his phone and texted Sasuke. _I broke my promise to Ino and smoked. But I’m not gonna do it again!_ he wrote.

Sasuke texted back almost at once. _Bad boy. I should spank you_ , the text said.

Naruto was so surprised that he actually dropped his phone onto the floor, and struggled to pick it back up again. _WHAT?!_ he typed back. _Sas, what the hell?!_

 _…one of Itachi’s pamphlets was about ‘sexting’. Did that count?_ Sasuke wrote back.

 _YES!_ Naruto typed, his skin burning and his whole body on edge from the shock of it all. _Yes, that definitely counted!_

 _Good,_ Sasuke texted back. _I’ve got more studying to do now. Stop bothering me._

Naruto grinned. Well, that had certainly brought him out of his bleak mood! He glanced down at the front of his pants and saw that Sasuke’s one little text had _definitely_ had an effect on him. How embarrassing! Just hearing those words had got him all excited.

 _I’m studying as well, so don’t YOU keep bothering ME_ , Naruto wrote back. _I’ll see you tomorrow, Sas!_

And then he pushed himself out of bed and headed for the bathroom. He’d take a cold shower, and then he’d go back to studying. He had a whole chapter of his science textbook to review before dinner. _So you’d better stop thinking about that beautiful, dark-haired boy “punishing” you, Naruto!_ he told himself sternly. He couldn’t afford to be distracted, even by such a stunningly attractive image.

***

The week before exams passed by in a blur of private study sessions and practice tests. Pretty much all of Naruto’s teachers ganged up to scrape every last bit of energy out of him before exam week. Every day he’d gone home and collapsed into bed for a nap before getting up and studying again.

It became a matter of pride. Everyone knew now how hard he was studying- Ino, Sai, Sasuke, his teachers, Tsunade. _I’ll show them all_. That was his last thought before going to bed the night before exam week, and it’s what he told himself before each test began.

It was a rough week. And the week after that was even _worse_ , as he waited for the teachers to finish their marking. But finally he sat in the waiting room of the clinic for his regular appointment, his results gripped tightly in his hand.

“Naruto-” came Tsunade’s voice, and Naruto shot up from his chair and was pushing his way into her room before she’d even finished speaking.

“See for yourself!” Naruto crowed, flashing the paper at her victoriously. “I passed _all_ of them! Except math, but I did a make-up test on Friday and passed that one as well!” he added. That damn Pythagoras had tripped him up again. The make-up test had been a brutal punishment from a furious Asuma, but he’d done it, and now here he was- he’d _passed!_

Tsunade took the report from his hands and made her way to her chair, sitting down and examining the paper at a leisurely pace. Naruto paced back and forth in front of the couch, waiting for her to speak. He’d done it, and she’d have to admit it, the proof was right there in her hands!

She must have read every word on that paper at least three times, but eventually Tsunade placed it down on the coffee table and looked up at him. “Have a seat, Naruto,” she said, waving for him to sit down.

Naruto did so, fidgeting the whole time. “So?” he demanded.

“You’ve done well,” she said simply.

“Yes,” Naruto crowed again. “Didn’t I say I could do it?!”

“Hmm,” Tsunade said to that. “Yes, you did say that you could do it. But I wonder: did you really _believe_ that you could do it?”

Naruto stifled a growl. “Of course I did!”

“I want you to keep this close,” Tsunade said, sliding the report back across to him. “And whenever you’re feeling down, whenever you’re doubting yourself, I want you to look at this and remember how hard you’ve worked this past month. I want you to remember what you’re capable of.”

Naruto frowned, feeling confused. What did she mean? That almost sounded like- but Tsunade had been harder on him than anyone, so why was she… “What game are you playing?” he demanded.

“Game? No games, Naruto,” Tsunade said. “The fact is, the number of obstacles you’ve overcome in your very short life is remarkable. You’re a highly capable young man. And yet despite that, you suffer from extremely low self-esteem.”

He blinked. Low self-esteem…? _Him?_ Come on, Naruto could do _anything_. That was- “That’s ridiculous,” he blurted out. “What do you mean? You’re harsher than anyone about-”

“You overcompensate, yes, and you hyper-inflate the skills you value,” Tsunade interrupted. “But I’ve watched you and listened to you closely during our appointments, and I’ve been through more than ten years of your records, Naruto. Your life experience has left you with a harrowingly low sense of self-worth.”

Naruto froze. What records? He narrowed his eyes. She…of course she’d been reading notes from the other councillors at the clinic, sure, but all that was just- what other records had she been at?! There were things in some of those that he didn’t want _anyone_ to see, _ever_.

“You shouldn’t have read those,” he said, his voice going low and cold.

“Now that your exams are safely behind you, I’d like to move on to other things,” Tsunade continued. “To some other issues. You won’t like it, but it’s necessary-”

“What other issues?” Naruto demanded. He was fine!

Tsunade raised an eyebrow and looked down at her notes. “Eleven foster homes, a year on the streets, six months in juvenile detention, and almost two years in that awful adolescent’s home-”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Naruto blurted out, standing up and clenching his fists. “I passed the damn exams, that’s what we’re here for, isn’t it?! I’m gonna graduate, isn’t that good enough?!”

“It is _more_ than good enough,” Tsunade said, staring him down, her tone sure and steely. “It is incredible. What you’ve achieved goes well beyond anyone’s expectations, Naruto. You’ve done very, very well.”

“So why are you making it sound like I’m a _mess_?!” Naruto exclaimed, feeling himself start to tremble against his will. “I said I could do it, and I _did_!”

“And the next time you say that, I want you to believe it,” Tsunade went on. “Your low self-esteem is holding you back. You agreed to return to high school despite believing that you would fail. But you can do this, Naruto. I believe that, 100%.”

Naruto fell to the couch, stunned into silence. But she…all the times he’d seen her, these damn appointments she’d forced him to commit to…all she talked about was how he needed to try harder. To stop sleeping with a million guys a week. Stop smoking, stop swearing, stop beating people up behind school. Do your homework. Let your friends help you. Let your teachers help you. Let _me_ help you.

“Look at this, Naruto,” Tsunade continued, and Naruto gazed over at her wearily, to see her shuffling through the papers in her folder. She handed something over to him. It was the photo and the note he’d given her last time. “See the faith your teachers have in you? They believe in you, too. They’ve been offering you so much help, even before your sudden burst of determination this month.”

Naruto took the paper. All three of them had been laughing while they took that photo. His teachers hadn’t believed him when he said his councillor was crazy.

“But you…you’ve been so _mean_ to me,” Naruto said. Hadn’t she? Making him come in twice a month, set a study schedule and all that.

Tsunade smiled at that. “Mean?” she asked. “You’ve seen a lot of councillors over the years, and done all kinds of therapy. And none of it has had much affect, has it? Your depression is still as bad as it ever was.”

“It’s _not_ ,” Naruto refuted at once, deeply offended. Why even bring _that_ up?! He took his pill once a day and didn’t have to worry about it. Come on, it’s not like he was moping around in bed crying all the time or throwing screaming fits! He wasn’t _depressed_.

“We needed to try something new here, Naruto. And we’ll keep on this path. Have faith that things can change.” Then she reached down beside her chair and placed a white box on the coffee table. “Here. I thought we could celebrate your achievement.”

Naruto gazed at the box with narrowed eyes and began to say something truly nasty, but when she opened it he was stunned into silence once more. There in the box was a small orange cake with the words _Congratulations, Naruto_ , written on top.

“For _me_?!” he exclaimed. It was a cake! A cake with his name on it!

“Of course for you,” Tsunade said, adding a knife and two plates to the table. “Shall we eat it? You can take the leftovers home.”

“But,” Naruto stammered. She’d bought him a cake? Why would she do that? “But what if I _didn’t_ pass?”

“On that very unlikely occasion, I would have given it to you anyway,” she said to that. “You’ve worked so hard this past month. The least you deserve is a _cake_. And if you keep working like this, you’ll have more rewards come to you, I’m sure of it.”

Well, that did it. To his utter horror and mortification, Naruto burst into tears right there on the couch in front of his demon councillor, and when she reached out to take his hand, he didn’t even pull away.

…and that damn cake was _delicious_.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh that was really hard to write, *cries*. There are so many different ways that people experience depression- obviously it's different from person to person, but even one's own experience changes over time. Naruto isn't what you'd call a 'textbook case' of depression, and I'm not sure if that makes it easier or harder for him. As we can see from this chapter, he's still a long way off from coming to terms with past.
> 
> Anyway! Be sure to stop by in the comments and say "hi"! Feedback is pure fuel for writers, and I'm afraid we're very fuel-inefficient creatures and need constant top-ups. FEED ME!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY my lovely, precious readers! Y’ll were very patient with the lack of NarSas in the last chapter, so this one should be a treat ^_^. I really appreciate all the amazing comments I got on the last chapter; I was so touched by the depth of empathy you all have for our poor Naruto. He’s trying hard and it’s not gonna be easy, but he’s got good people around him! 
> 
> This chapter and the next will be Naruto’s POV, and then we’ll be switching to Sasuke for a while. Enjoy~!

When Naruto woke on Monday morning he just lay in bed staring up at the roof, stunned into silence and immobility by the memory of what had happened at his appointment yesterday. Had he…had he really _cried_ in front of his councillor?!

_Oh god, how could I have let myself do that?!_ Naruto demanded of himself. _What on earth…?!_

But…but it’s just that, he’d never gotten a cake with his own _name_ on it before. He’d hardly ever gotten _cakes_ before, even on his birthdays! He’d been so shocked, so stunned, so…touched. And given how wound-up and tense he’d been, how exhausted, he’d just…yeah, he’d cried. In front of his councillor. Who he hated.

Well, who he _thought_ he’d hated. Tsunade _had_ been mean to him, he knew she had! Even if she still claimed that she was only being strict with him for his own benefit- and that she wasn’t being _mean_.

It was too late to take it back now, in any case. Of all the things he’d done in front of councillors- hell, all the things he’d done _with_ councillors- that was most certainly the most embarrassing. At least he hadn’t cried for that long. By the end of the appointment they’d both been smiling, happily eating away at the cake. Naruto had teased Tsunade, pointing out that she must have really liked him to get a cake for him- to which Tsunade had grumpily informed him that it was the cheapest cake in the shop, and he’d never be getting another one again.

Naruto rolled onto his side and reached over to his bedside table for his water bottle and pills. He popped his daily anti-depressant into his hand and stared at it. Usually he just threw it down his throat without thinking about it. He had to take them to keep his doctor and case-worker off his back, but Naruto didn’t really think he needed them.

At least…well, no, he didn’t _need_ them. All those things Tsunade had listed off yesterday. Foster homes, having _no_ home, juvie…that was all over now. None of it mattered. And yet people kept insisting on bringing it back up again.

_It could be worse,_ Naruto told himself as he swallowed the pill. At least today was the first day of school holidays. He didn’t have anywhere to be, or anything he needed to do. He put all that unpleasantness aside and grinned to himself, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

***

Four hours later he finally dragged himself out of bed and headed for the couch, stopping by the fridge to grab the rest of his cake. He settled down in front of the TV to play video games in his boxer-shorts, scoffing down the cake for ‘breakfast’.

_Now this is my idea of a holiday,_ Naruto thought to himself with glee, switching on the new video game Sai had bought him. Naruto hadn’t passed all his exams on the first go so he hadn’t been allowed to choose which game he’d wanted. Sai had chosen, and Naruto had ended up with this bizarrely colourful, cheerful game about bunnies and kittens. But it wasn’t so bad, and Sasuke would probably like it.

He glanced over to the other side of the couch where he’d neatly folded the fluffy orange blanket that Sasuke used when he was here. Sasuke’s blanket, he’d come to think of it. Sasuke was just so cute with the fuzzy oversized thing wrapped all around him.

Naruto looked down at his phone. Sasuke had an exam at uni today, and it was probably too early to bother him. So Naruto stuffed some more cake in his mouth and turned his attention back to the bunnies and kittens.

He spent a happy few hours like this until Sasuke finally texted him. _Done, thank god_ , it read, and Naruto could hear his exhaustion even from the text. This exam had been a big deal for him and he’d been studying even more than usual.

Naruto grinned and texted him back. _Now we’re both on holidays! Wanna come over? My new game is really violent, you’ll love it!_

_Too tired, gonna spend the rest of the day in bed. But you can come over here if you like_ , he wrote.

Naruto didn’t hesitate. _I’ll be over soon!_ he typed, then jumped up off the couch and headed to the bathroom for a shower. He’d be with his Sasuke in no time!

***

“Hello, Naruto,” said Itachi, greeting him at the door with a carefully-composed expression that didn’t _quite_ hide his distaste. “I hear congratulations are in order for passing your exams.”

“Uh, yeah,” Naruto said, trying not to tense up; Sasuke was always telling him that Itachi was nothing to worry about it. “…thanks,” he added, despite being aware that Itachi hadn’t, technically, congratulated him.

“Sasuke’s in his room,” Itachi just said to that, turning around and leading Naruto through the apartment. Of course Naruto knew exactly where Sasuke’s room was, but he decided it was wiser to stay quiet.

“Naruto’s here,” Itachi called out when they reached Sasuke’s room. “This door is staying _open_ ,” he added, shooting Naruto a look before he moved away.

“Like we’ll be doing anything,” Naruto murmured under his breath, shivering a bit at the force of Itachi’s stare. Then he smiled. Well, what did it matter? He had the rest of the afternoon to spend with Sasuke, and no studying! “Hi, Sasuke!” he said, brightening and stepping into the room.

“Hi yourself,” Sasuke said back, giving him a little wave. As he’d promised, he was tucked up in bed and definitely looked like he had no intention of moving at all. The blankets were wrapped all around him and he was propped up on the pillows with a book, and he was- drinking something?! Something _orange._

“What’s that?” Naruto exclaimed, stepping closer and sitting down on the edge of the bed. He’d never seen Sasuke drinking anything that wasn’t just plain water.

“Itachi makes juice when he’s bored,” Sasuke explained, sipping some more of it through a straw. “This one’s carrot, apple, and ginger. Want to try some?”

“Yes!” Naruto said eagerly, sliding across the mattress and leaning over for a sip. “Oh, it’s not bad!” he proclaimed, moving away and lying down on the other side of the bed.

“Not too bad,” Sasuke agreed, finishing the drink and setting it aside next to his book. “He usually ruins it by adding protein powder, but not today. A treat for finishing all my exams, he said.”

“Aww, how sweet,” Naruto said, settling down on the pillows. “Um, I think. I can’t really imagine Itachi being _sweet_. Anyway. How’d it go today?”

“Alright. I managed to answer all the questions, so that’s good.”

Naruto smiled. The class Sasuke was studying at uni was so far beyond him that he couldn’t even imagine what those questions would be, but he did his best to be sympathetic in any case. “And now we have two weeks of holiday!” Naruto said.

“Thank god,” Sasuke said to that, nestling into his pillows with a deep sigh.

“You’re all tired out, Sas,” Naruto observed, the dark circles under each of his eyes standing out starkly on his paler-than-normal face. Naruto couldn’t help but feel at least partly responsible. He knew- Sasuke had explicitly told him- that Sasuke needed a lot of time to re-charge. And yet even in the past month when they’d both been studying so much, they’d spent an awful lot of time together. Too much time together?

“No, I’m okay,” Sasuke said to that. “I’m relieved, really. And I’m happy, because you passed all your exams.”

Naruto grinned. “Well, I don’t think anyone’s happier than me, but thanks! All our study sessions really helped, you know,” he said. He’d never asked Sasuke to help him with his classes- after all, he and Sasuke took completely different ones- but just being in the same room with him had helped him concentrate. Sasuke had taught him heaps of useful study techniques, as well.

Sasuke smiled back at him from his nest of pillows and blankets. “Anyway, I wanted to ask you something but I was waiting till after the exams.”

“Hmm? What is it, Sas?” Naruto asked, feeling curious and slightly concerned. “Something wrong?” Something he was waiting until after the exams to ask- _shit, it must be bad, and he didn’t want to distract me!_ Naruto thought to himself.

“Oh, no, nothing’s wrong,” Sasuke quickly said, and Naruto relaxed- but only slightly. “It’s just that, the classes you’re taking- they’ll get you into uni if you wanted, right?”

“Right,” Naruto confirmed. “But I’ll have to do a little better than just passing for the rest of the year for that!” It’d been such a rushed decision, but ultimately he’d decided that since he was putting himself through all the drama and effort of going back to school, he might as well do it _properly_. …of course, his resolve had quickly weakened once he was actually _at_ school, but hey, at least he was trying his hardest _now_.

“Hmm,” Sasuke murmured. “But what will you do at uni? What’re your plans?”

…ah. Well. “Um,” Naruto began. “It’s…kind-of embarrassing.” And besides, even after passing this round of tests, it was very unlikely he’d get high enough grades for the course he wanted- and that wasn’t his ‘low self-esteem’ talking, that was just being realistic!

“Is it?” Sasuke commented, looking intrigued and moving closer to Naruto’s side of the bed. “Well, now you have to tell me!” he demanded.

_Shit. Don’t laugh at me, Sasuke!!_ he begged silently before he spoke. “Ahh well, I want to…to teach,” he stammered. “Uh, teach really little kids. Like, preschool or first grade.”

Sasuke’s eyes opened wide. “Really?” he exclaimed. “You want to be a _teacher_?”

Naruto blushed bright scarlet-red at once. “Yeah, I know, it’s embarrassing! But I, I just- I’ve always liked little kids, and I…well…” He looked away. That story was really personal, and he wasn’t sure if he should share it.

“Well?” Sasuke prompted, gazing over at him, looking curious.

He bit his lip and risked a glance at Sasuke. Sure, they’d talked about all kinds of things together, but this was, well… “It’s a bit, um…”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Sasuke quickly said.

Naruto shook his head. “No, it’s…okay,” he said. Ino kept saying he needed to share. And Sasuke wouldn’t tease him for it or anything, surely. “It’s just that, I guess I didn’t have the best time of it, growing up,” he went on.

Sasuke nodded. “You, uh- mostly lived with foster families, right?” he spoke, his voice soft and quiet.

“Yeah,” Naruto confirmed, and wondered if he’d ever said that out-loud, or if Sasuke had just assumed. “And I _hated_ school, even when it was just kindergarten and preschool, but then in first grade I had this one teacher who- well, he was really strict with me actually, he didn’t put up with anything or feel sorry for me cause I was a foster kid, but he was kind, and he listened to me and he…cared.”

“What was his name?” Sasuke asked, still gazing over at him and listening intently.

“Iruka-sensei,” Naruto went on. “It just made a difference, you know? Like suddenly I didn’t mind school, and _finally_ I was learning to read, and write things other than my own name, and on my birthday he…well. It mattered to me. So…I want to matter as well, to kids…” He suddenly realised he was rambling and his blush deepened.

Sasuke shifted closer towards him across the bed. “He sounds really nice,” Sasuke murmured.

He _had_ been nice. And Naruto had gotten to stay at that school for that whole year- one whole year in the same class, with the same teacher. Naruto still had that class photo somewhere. It was one of the few personal items he’d held onto.

_And really, if it hadn’t have been for him, who knows if I ever would have learned how to read and add numbers up!!_ Naruto thought to himself, grinning sheepishly. He’d been so young at the time, but he had such vivid memories of sitting at his desk with Iruka-sensei, going over and over all the letters and numbers.

“I’m glad you told me. I didn’t realise I was asking something so, well…” Sasuke said. He reached out and lay his hand over Naruto’s, tangling their fingers together for a moment. “But I think it sounds really nice, being a teacher. _I_ would hate it, of course, but-”

Naruto laughed at that. “Yes, you would!” he readily agreed. He tensed up a bit when Sasuke moved his hand up to Naruto’s face, trailing his fingers across Naruto’s cheek towards his jaw. “I’m not saying the little kiddies would be scared of you, Sas, but I’m not saying they _wouldn’t_ be-”

“Brat,” Sasuke muttered at that, poking his cheek. And then he went back to tracing a line across Naruto’s face, up over his forehead and down his nose. Naruto shivered at his touch, and tried to relax. Sasuke had never just touched him like this. It’s like he was _exploring_. It felt strange, and overwhelming _intimate_ , and Naruto didn’t want it to stop.

“I’ll never make them study math,” Naruto declared, shifting ever-so-slightly across to Sasuke’s side of the bed, making no sudden movements. Sasuke trailed his hand back up across Naruto’s cheek and then down to his ear.

Sasuke scoffed at that, running a finger over the edge of Naruto’s ear and drawing another shiver from him. “If it’s on the curriculum, you’ll _have_ to teach them math,” Sasuke informed him. “But don’t worry. Just some simple addition I’m sure. No Pythagoras.”

“I could tell them about his past life as a female courtesan,” Naruto suggested, trying not to flinch as Sasuke turned his attention to the feather-light scars lining his cheeks. “They’d love that, wouldn’t they? I guess I’d have to tell them what a courtesan is, though.”

“Hmm. Their parents might not like that,” Sasuke commented. He pressed his thumb all along one of the whisker lines on his face, and this time Naruto really _did_ flinch and pull away slightly, very much against his will. “Sorry, Naruto…” Sasuke murmured, moving his hand away at once.

Naruto shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said back, his voice low and soft. He took Sasuke’s hand and twined their fingers back together. They were lying so close now that by just leaning forward, he could rest his forehead against Sasuke’s.

They lay there quietly, eyes half-closed and their breathing mingling together. Naruto felt like his heart was beating so fast and loud that he could _hear_ it, and he wondered if Sasuke could hear it too. The feel of Sasuke’s skin against his, even just this one tiny insignificant touch, was somehow enough to make it seem like all his nerve-endings were on fire, but it was _right_. This was how it was meant to be.

…and then somehow, Sasuke was even closer, lips pressed up against him so softly that they barely touched, but they were-

-Naruto made a small noise of surprise in his throat and closed his eyes, feeling Sasuke rest his hand on his cheek and press against him again, kissing his bottom lip and running the tip of his tongue across it.

It was gentle, and soft, and _perfect_. “Ohh…” Naruto breathed, nuzzling his nose against Sasuke’s, kissing him again, lingering there for one endless moment. He was overheating, his brain had short-circuited, but in that moment nothing else mattered- nothing else _existed_ outside of the blissful feeling of Sasuke’s mouth against his, their hands and fingers melded together.

“Mm…” Sasuke hummed, and Naruto opened his eyes to find the dark-eyed boy gazing back at him. Sasuke reached up to place his thumb on Naruto’s bottom lip, pressing down into him. Naruto kissed it and Sasuke smiled, so gently, that Naruto felt something inside his chest well up and threaten to explode. “Ohh,” Sasuke murmured. “That was…”

“That was _what_?!” came Itachi’s furious, thundering voice, and Naruto jumped away from Sasuke so fast that he almost fell out of the bed. “Sasuke! We have _rules_!”

Sasuke started and sat up, instantly shooting a vicious glare over at his brother. “We do _not_ have rules!” he retorted. “Get out of here, Itachi!”

“I will _not_!” Itachi said right back. He marched right into the room and dragged the chair from Sasuke’s desk over beside the bed. “You!” he thundered at Naruto. “You will sit here and _not move_! Got it?!”

Naruto squeaked and leapt out of the bed and onto the chair. “Yes, sir!” he said at once. How much had Itachi seen?! How long had the two of them been- been _kissing_ , been lying together like that, _oh god, Sasuke **kissed** me, and his brother **saw** us, and_ -

“Yeah, okay, he’s not going to move, so leave us alone!” Sasuke growled, exchanging another angry glare with his brother until Itachi finally left the room, making a point of leaving the door wider open than it had been before.

Naruto was stunned. “I’m so sorry, Sasuke!” he stammered. “I didn’t mean to get you into trouble! The rules-”

“There’s no _rules_ ,” Sasuke said, waving off his concern. He pushed back his blankets and came over to sit on the edge of the bed. “We don’t have any rules about those sorts of things! I’m over eighteen, you know!” his voice rising, directed outside the door.

“Uh, right,” Naruto said, blinking. Of course, Sasuke was the same age as him, and so- but still, Itachi was his _brother_ , and he… “Um, that was- that was really nice, Sas, but I guess it was really surprising at the same time-”

Sasuke interrupted him with a shrug. “It’s not like I was planning it. I just…” Sasuke’s words trailed off, and then there was silence. He shifted on the side of the bed, raising his chin to meet Naruto’s eyes. His cheeks were just slightly flushed, but his gaze was steady and sure.

They’d just… _kissed_. Their first kiss. And it felt- it felt like nothing else Naruto had ever experienced before. It was right. It was perfect. He wanted to do it again, but he…was it just a one-off thing? Had Sasuke _liked_ it?

Naruto brought his hand to his face, touching his fingers to his lower lip. He could still feel himself tingling, a strange light-vibration filling every part of him. Even now with Sasuke’s dark eyes on him, there was a kind-of _spark_ , a heady tension in the air spreading out between the two of them.

Naruto took a deep breath, but when he let it out it was shaky and uneven. “Sasuke,” he began. “I-”

-and then before he could continue Sasuke moved from the bed, and in one fast smooth motion had seated himself on top of Naruto, locking his arms around his neck and kissing him hard.

Naruto’s gasp of surprise quickly became a groan as Sasuke bit down on Naruto’s lip and sucked his tongue into his own mouth. In an instant his whole body was filled with heat and he reached out to grab Sasuke’s hips, steady him, bring him _closer_ ; there was no turning back from this.

Sasuke groaned back and tilted Naruto’s face upwards, holding his chin in his hands and peppering his jawline with hot, desperate kisses before returning to his mouth. Naruto shuddered and Sasuke swayed on top of him, almost unbalancing himself. Naruto gripped him harder and pulled him down until Sasuke was straddling him properly, their bodies pressed up against each other as Sasuke deepened their kiss.

_This can’t be happening_ , said a voice inside Naruto’s mind, but it was quickly subsumed by more of that _heat_ , that blinding light, setting his skin on fire and pushing all thoughts of logic and responsibility out of his head. Sasuke was on top of him, this gorgeous, beautiful boy was kissing him and pressing into him, he was _enthralled_ , he never wanted this to end-

Naruto ran his hands up Sasuke’s spine and then down to grip his thighs, drawing a moan and a sharp gasp from the other. “ _Naruto_ ,” Sasuke breathed, arching his back and pressing their hips together. “Please…”

Naruto wrapped one arm around his back and brought the other to his face, tangling his fingers through that dark hair and tugging Sasuke back to him. He bit down on Sasuke’s throat, pressing his tongue against that heated skin and groaning when Sasuke ground down into him.

“Sasuke, _god_ ,” Naruto gasped out, “Mm…”

Suddenly Sasuke trembled and pulled away from him, taking Naruto’s face in his hands and holding him at bay. They were both panting and shaking, and when Naruto opened his eyes he saw Sasuke staring back at him with fire written all over his features. Sasuke leaned forward to rest his forehead against Naruto’s, breathing hard.

Sasuke was still all around him, still running his fingers through Naruto’s hair, his warm skin still pressed against him- but the haze was lifting, and suddenly Naruto was _terrified_. “Sa- Sasuke-” he stammered, “I-”

“Don’t,” Sasuke interrupted, placing his hand over Naruto’s mouth and gazing at him steadily with those deep, dark eyes of his. “Naruto, I-”

“ _Sasuke_!” came a ferocious voice from beside them and Naruto jumped, jostling Sasuke on top of him and causing him to slip sidewards. “Sasuke, what on earth are you doing-”

“Shit!” Naruto gasped, reaching out and taking hold of Sasuke’s waist, lifting the other off of him and wrenching his hands away as soon as Sasuke was standing. “We- we weren’t-”

“Stop interrupting us!” Sasuke yelled at his brother. “It’s none of your _business_ what we were doing, Itachi! Just leave me alone for five minutes, I swear to god-”

“The hell it’s not my business, Sasuke!” Itachi said back. “And _you_!” he added, turning to Naruto. “You need to leave, _now_!”

Naruto bit back a shriek, staring wide-eyed at the ferocity on the older Uchiha’s face and deciding that _yes_ , now would be a very good time to leave, and maybe, possibly, never come back-

“He’s not going anywhere! Naruto, _stay_!” Sasuke ordered, and Naruto froze.

“This is unacceptable, Sasuke, I won’t have it-”

“What’s it got to do with you?! Stay out of my business-”

“Your business is _my_ business, and like hell I’ll be letting this kid stay in _my_ apartment-”

-right, yes, Naruto should leave. Right now. He should- “Sas, it’s okay!” he called out, reaching over to take Sasuke’s arm. His stomach had turned to ice and his insides were shivering, listening to the two of them scream at each other. “I’m just gonna go home, alright? And we-”

“You shouldn’t have to go anywhere!” Sasuke said to that, before shooting a vicious glare at his brother.

“No, it’s fine, we should just all calm down, okay? And it’s getting late anyway, so…” _So please, stop fighting, stop yelling, I can’t stand it-_

“At least one of you can see sense!” Itachi shot, before turning away and storming out of the room.

“This apartment is half-mine, you know!” Sasuke shrieked after him before slamming the door closed.

“Not _that_ half!” came the muffled retort, and Sasuke made an indignant cry and fell face-down onto his bed.

 “Uh, Sasuke,” Naruto began, cautiously, feeling unbelievably tense and out-of-place. “Really, I think it would be for the best if I just headed home now anyway…”

“You really don’t have to,” Sasuke said to that, his voice low and weary, as if all the energy had been drained out of him. He turned his head and gazed over at Naruto. “You can stay.”

“That- that’s nice of you, Sas, but I…” _But I can’t stand to see you fighting with your brother. I can’t stand the tension._ And what they just did, it was- was it too much? “Let’s hang out again tomorrow, okay? If you’re not busy.”

“I startled you,” Sasuke said, his cheeks turning red once more. “I don’t know what came over me, I just- I _wanted_ to, and…”

“Oh no, you- yeah okay, I was pretty surprised, but it was…” Naruto’s words trailed off. It was what? He stared back at Sasuke and could see the unease written all over his features. The uncertainty, the anxiety. Was Sasuke already regretting what they’d done? He couldn’t bare that, not when that kiss had been…everything. “Sasuke, that was the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life.”

Sasuke’s eyes went wide and then his blush deepened, and he turned to hide his face in his pillow. “Don’t say that,” he said, his voice muffled. “That’s so embarrassing!”

“It’s _true_ ,” Naruto insisted. He’d never felt about _anyone_ this way before, he’d never felt this connection. It’s like Sasuke had been inside him, had been a part of him. “Anyway…I’m gonna go home now, okay?”

Sasuke nodded, face still pressed into the pillow. Naruto couldn’t help but smile at the image. Sasuke just seemed so mortified at what had happened.

Naruto stood up and fetched his things from the desk, and then moved over to the bed. He reached down and ever-so-gently laid his hand on Sasuke’s back. “Tomorrow, maybe?” he asked.

Sasuke turned and gazed up at him. “Tomorrow,” he said. “…bye, Naruto.”

And Naruto made a hasty retreat from the room and rushed out of the apartment before that fire consumed him again and made it impossible for him to leave- ever.

***

 


	12. Chapter 12

It had been two days since _the incident_ ; that amazing, mind-blowing, and ultimately tension-filled incident. Since then Naruto couldn’t help but re-live it over and over again. Sasuke had really surprised him…in the best way possible. He hadn’t seen that first kiss coming, but when it _did_ happen, he hadn’t been nervous. It had felt so right- like they’d done it before, and they’d do it again.

And then that second kiss… _god_. Sasuke had more than surprised him with that; Naruto was still stunned and in disbelief about the whole thing.

“He’s blushing again,” said Sakura, and when Naruto came back to earth he found his two friends exchanging wry, knowing glances across the couch.

Naruto blushed harder and rubbed his cheeks, trying to get rid of the incriminating red flush. How embarrassing! “I’m not,” he whined.

“Right, right,” Ino said with a grin. “So you’ve spoken to him since the kiss, yes?” she went on, reaching over him to grab another piece of pizza.

“Yes,” Naruto confirmed, most reluctantly. He really didn’t want to be talking about this, but it was probably inevitable- he’d been dodging Ino’s questions for days now.

“And you’ve seen him since the kiss,” Ino went on.

He sighed. “Yes, yesterday.” It was his own fault for telling her about it in the first place, but he’d been so wound up that night, it just- it had just slipped out! He was so used to just telling Ino _everything_.

Ino narrowed her eyes and gave him a disappointed look. “But you still haven’t _spoken_ about the kiss.”

“…right,” Naruto replied.

“Naruto!” Ino exclaimed, throwing a pizza crust at him.

“ _What_?” Naruto shot back, dodging the crust. “I can’t help it! What am I meant to say? And _he’s_ not bringing it up either, so I don’t see why you’re laying all the blame on _me_ -”

“Do you want to kiss him again?” Ino interrupted.

What kind of stupid question was that? “Of course,” Naruto replied at once. Over and over again, every day- several times a day, preferably. When Naruto had told Sasuke that that was the best kiss he’d ever had, he’d meant it. It had been _amazing_.

“But you _won’t_ kiss him, I know you won’t,” Ino grumbled. “You’ll wait for him to kiss _you_.”

Naruto bit his lip. Yes, that was probably true. Even after all these weeks, Naruto still felt bad for initiating just _hugs_ without getting permission from Sasuke first. Sasuke laughed at him for it, but Naruto didn’t want to do anything wrong at all, not if he could help it. “Well, but, it’s _Sasuke_ , so…”

Ino let out a frustrated breath. “I really, really think you should talk to him about it. Right, Sakura?” she added, turning to her pink-haired girlfriend. Sakura had been sitting there quietly the whole time, eating her pizza and listening intently, but not saying much- other than pointing out Naruto’s damn blushing.

She frowned. “Ah, well, I don’t know- I don’t really know you two well enough to comment…”

“You don’t need to _know_ them, we’re talking about relationship essentials here!” Ino pointed out.

“It’s okay, Sakura, I’m sure you’re better at all this stuff than me. I need all the help I can get,” Naruto admitted dismally, biting into another piece of pizza in sorrow.

“Well, in that case…” Sakura began. “Then yes, I think Ino is right- communication is the key. I know it’s probably hard to talk about, and it might be really, _really_ awkward, but…yes, you have to do it.”

“There, you see?” Ino crowed. “So talk to him!”

Easier said than done. _They_ wouldn’t have to do it, to struggle to find the right words with those intense, burning eyes on him. “And say what?” Naruto whined. He wouldn’t even know where to begin!

Ino rolled her eyes. “That you loved kissing him and you want to do it again,” she said, speaking slowly and clearly. “That you want to be proper boyfriends, and that you’d like to have sex with him one day.”

“Ino!” Naruto shrieked, beside himself with embarrassment. She couldn’t just say something like that!

“You have to put it all on the table, Naruto!” Ino went on, ignoring his indignant shriek. “You have to be _responsible_. Especially with someone like Sasuke!”

 _Especially with someone like Sasuke_. Naruto knew that- of course he did. And he was doing his best here, but it’s not like he had any experience at this sort of thing. He so desperately wanted to do everything right, to make Sasuke happy, to make him feel safe and comfortable. But what did Naruto know about dating?! He could mess this all up in an instant. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d screwed up and lost something he wanted- far from it. _Far_.

He sighed again. “Yeah, alright,” he said, agreeing with her words. “But…”

Ino reached over and took his hand. “And maybe you shouldn’t have run away the other night,” she said, her tone softening slightly.

“I didn’t run away!” Naruto retorted at once. Leaving was not the same as running away. Removing himself from that situation had clearly been the right thing to do at the time, couldn’t she see that? “I just, they were _fighting_ , and there was so much tension between them and I knew it wouldn’t go away until _I_ went away!”

“Naruto,” Sakura murmured from her end of the couch, and they both turned to look at her. “Is…is Sasuke alright, after everything that happened? Does he seem…upset, or anxious?”

Naruto thought about it. To be honest, their texts and conversations had been pretty normal since then, and when they’d hung out yesterday- playing the bunnies and kittens video game that Sai had bought- Sasuke had seemed, well…fine. Fine-ish.

Still, it had been awkward as hell. Naruto had been all tense and completely freaked out, and he was sure that Sasuke could tell. He had gone home after only an hour.

“I don’t think he’s _upset_ ,” Naruto cautiously guessed. “But…I think he’s pretty good at hiding his feelings, so…”

“Unlike you,” Ino said to that. Yes, true- very true.

“Yeah. Unlike me,” Naruto agreed. He was the worst actor in the world. “Okay, fine, I’ll invite him over tonight and I’ll- god, I don’t even know where to start, but I’ll _really_ try, okay?” Naruto promised, taking out his phone and sending Sasuke a text before he lost his nerve.

“Good,” Ino said with a satisfied little nod. “You can do it. Believe it.”

Naruto turned away. “…yeah, okay,” he said, feeling supremely unconfident and wondering how on earth so many people managed to get these ‘relationship’ things working.

They went back to playing video games and eating pizza. It had all long gone cold- the two girls had already been here for hours- but that didn’t stop them. Naruto burrowed himself into the couch cushions and just tried to relax. Really, it was a _good_ thing what had happened between them. Sasuke had kissed him, of his own free will, and he seemed to like it. Naruto had definitely liked it.

And…and Sasuke was really smart. So even if Naruto couldn’t figure out how to handle all this stuff, maybe Sasuke could. They had to try, anyway, even if it got majorly awkward like Sakura had said.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he fished it out. “Oh, he says he’s free now,” Naruto said, frowning down at his phone. “Um, should I invite him over? But we’re not done playing…”

Ino and Sakura grinned at each other, and Naruto winced. That was not a good sign. “Yes, make him come over now!” Ino demanded. “That’s a great idea!”

Naruto winced again and glanced around the room. The place was a mess, with pizza boxes and chip packets spread all over the place, and cushions scattered throughout the room. He’d always tried to tidy up before Sasuke came over. And obviously, the food had to go!

“Uh, but the pizza,” Naruto said, sending Sasuke a heads-up that the girls were here. “Let’s finish eating it before he comes over, okay?”

Ino and Sakura exchanged another glance, much more sombre this time. “Does it really bother him?” Sakura asked. “When people eat in front of him?”

Well, obviously! Of course it did. He had _anorexia_! “Well, yeah,” Naruto said.

“Haven’t you ever eaten in front of him before?” Ino asked. “Even after- how long has it been?!”

“Two months,” Naruto said at once. “And sometimes I’ve slipped up, but mostly, no,” he answered. Sometimes when he and Sasuke were playing video games he grabbed something from the kitchen and started eating it without thinking, but he always stopped and felt horribly guilty afterwards. He still remembered how uneasy Sasuke had been that time when Sai was making dinner in front of him.

“And you still haven’t seen _him_ eat anything?” Sakura asked with a frown.

“Oh, no,” Naruto responded. Sasuke drank water a fair bit, and there was the juice the other day, but no _food_.

“He must _eat_ , though, right? When you’re not there?” Ino pushed.

“I guess so,” Naruto said. Obviously, Sasuke had to eat _something_. “We, um. We haven’t really talked about all that stuff…”

Ino gave him a wry look. “I’m shocked. Really,” she said.

“Hey, we’re taking it really slow!” Naruto said, jumping to his own defence. No, they hadn’t talked about _everything_ yet. Why would they have?! “And we’ve both been focusing on school!”

“I think that was sensible, Naruto,” Sakura broke in. “But now that things have gone further, it’d probably be a good idea to talk about it. He might even be waiting for you to ask,” she suggested.

Naruto frowned. Could he be waiting for Naruto to bring it up first? “Oh…do you think so?”

“He might be,” Ino agreed.

“We’ll clean up all the pizza and snacks for now though, okay?” Sakura said, standing up and starting to grab all the boxes.

“Thank you, Sakura,” Naruto said, feeling relieved. Yeah, he didn’t really know how Sasuke felt about that stuff at all. He’d never said anything or even looked bothered when Naruto had slipped up those few times, but still. He stood up and joined the girls in giving the living-room an express clean, taking the pizza boxes all the way to the outside garbage and then opening the windows to let in some fresh air.

***

They finally finished cleaning, and not a moment too soon- the doorbell rang and Naruto jumped to his feet.

“Sasuke!” he said with glee, opening the door and grinning. “Come on in! You don’t really mind that the girls are here, do you? Because I’ll totally kick them out-”

There was a shriek from the living-room. “I heard that, Naruto!” came Ino’s irate voice, and Naruto’s grin widened.

Sasuke smiled back. “No, it’s fine,” he said, following Naruto through the kitchen to the living room. “It’s nice. Hi, Ino, Sakura,” he added when they reached the couch, waving to the girls.

“Hi, Sasuke,” they both sang back, exchanging wicked grins and then turning back to him.

“What’re you guys doing?” Sasuke asked, gazing around the room- which probably looked suspiciously clean and tidy for a place that three teenagers had been hanging out in all day.

“Oh, we’ve just been playing that hilarious new game Naruto got,” Ino explained. “Come, sit down, we’ll start a new round! I brought extra controllers from my place.”

“Uh, we don’t have to play that if you don’t want, Sas,” Naruto quickly said, sitting down next to him.

“It sounds fun,” Sasuke said to that, giving him a strange look.

“Good,” Ino said. She handed over a controller and started up a four-person game.

It took ages for Naruto to relax. He was so on edge having Sasuke there next to him, especially with the girls here too- and especially, _especially_ given what he’d just been talking about with them. What if they said something?! Needless to say, he was completely unable to concentrate on the game and lost every round- by a lot.

“Hey, Sasuke?” said Ino out of the blue. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Uh, sure,” Sasuke said back, gazing at her somewhat suspiciously.

“Ino,” Naruto hissed, somehow knowing that no matter what she was about to ask, he himself wasn’t going to like it.

“It’s a bit personal. You can tell me to get lost if you like,” Ino went on, ignoring Naruto completely and leaning forward towards Sasuke.

“Okay,” Sasuke said. “Ask me, then.”

“I was just wondering, does it really bother you if people eat in front of you?”

“Ino!” Naruto hissed again, his voice almost turning into a shriek. He was mortified. “Leave Sasuke alone!”

“It’s just that, we’d feel rude if it _did_ bother you, wouldn’t we Sakura?” Ino went on, turning to her girlfriend.

“Well, it’d be just as rude to assume that we _shouldn’t_ eat around you,” Sakura said, and Naruto got the distinct feeling that the two of them had practiced this attack beforehand. “Sorry, Sasuke, we don’t really know much about it all.”

“Oh,” Sasuke said. “Um, I guess I- no, it _does_ bother me sometimes, but it shouldn’t,” he said. “Itachi eats around me all the time, of course. And- and, well…”

“You don’t have to answer them if you don’t want to, Sasuke,” Naruto quickly stepped in, sending Ino a vicious glare. How could she make him so uncomfortable, on purpose?!

“No, it’s okay, really,” Sasuke interjected.

“We can tell that Naruto tries not to eat when he’s with you,” Ino said, and Naruto almost _fainted_ \- what was she saying?!

Sasuke flashed him a quick glance, with an almost amused look on his face before he turned back to Ino, serious once more. “It’s something I need to get used to,” he said. “Even if I don’t like it. So you guys should do what you like, and not worry about me,” he added, giving the girls a small smile.

“That’s nice of you, Sasuke,” Sakura said. “We just wanted to check with you about it. You never know with this sort of thing.”

“That’s very considerate,” Sasuke said back.

“Can we please go back to playing video games?” Naruto pleaded.

Ino grinned. “Yes, Naruto, of course we can! Just for a bit, and then Sakura and I are heading off, okay?”

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. That conversation had taken ten years off of his life.

***

“That was nice, with the two of them here,” Sasuke said. Naruto had just said goodbye to the girls at the door and had returned to the couch with some cold water for them both. “They’re really not as loud and crazy as I first thought they were,” Sasuke went on.

“Ha,” Naruto said to that, falling onto the couch and handing Sasuke his water. “Sakura’s not, but Ino _is_. It’s just that you’re getting used to _me_ , so she doesn’t bother you as much, see?”

“…ah. Of course,” Sasuke said, sipping his water.

“So, Itachi’s at work?” Naruto went on, leaning heavily on the couch cushions. He was exhausted, but he’d promised Ino that he’d at least try to have that difficult conversation with Sasuke. He just needed a moment to gather his strength.

“A morning shift, yes,” Sasuke confirmed.

Silence fell between them. Naruto gazed over at him; he had dark circles under his eyes and looked just as tired as Naruto felt. _But we have to talk about it_ , Naruto said to himself. Ino was right, as usual.

He took a deep breath and prepared to speak. “Sasuke, about that kiss-”

“Look, about the other night-” Sasuke said at the exact same time.

They froze and gazed at each other, eyes wide. “Uh, sorry Sas-”

“Oh, after you,” Sasuke said. “What- what about the kiss?” And he looked so startled and uneasy that Naruto’s stomach clenched up and he started speaking at once.

“Oh _no_ , I just wanted to say, you know, it was great. Really, _really_ great!” Naruto insisted.

Sasuke sighed audibly. “…okay,” he said, still looking uncertain.

“But um, I guess I was a little surprised,” Naruto went on, determined to push forward before he lost his nerve. “Since we said we’d take things slow. Ah, everything’s been great, really, and of course I don’t mind kissing! Obviously I’d _love_ it, but I’d never want to do anything to make you feel uncomfortable, and I-”

“Naruto,” Sasuke interrupted. “That- okay, maybe I should explain something,” he said.

Naruto’s heart fell in his chest. _Oh god, it’s over_ , said a voice in his mind. He’d pushed too far, or he’d done something wrong, and now it was over. “…okay,” he said, his voice going tight and tense.

Sasuke bit his lip and looked down at his hands gripping the water bottle. “Look, see, the thing is…as a general rule, I’m just not- _interested_ in people,” Sasuke quickly said. “As in, _doing_ things with people. But…it’s different with you, and that’s kind-of…it’s really weird for me.”

…it was weird for him. Being with Naruto was weird? In a… _bad_ way? Naruto’s heart fell further. He _knew_ it; he was pushing too far. Sasuke didn’t like people touching him, and Naruto had been hugging him and holding his hand and invading his personal space for _weeks_. “Sasuke-”

“But in that moment, I just really wanted to kiss you,” Sasuke went on, interrupting him. Naruto blinked. Oh, he- he’d wanted to? “It was nice. But I…”

… _but_. Right. Okay. “You don’t want to do it again,” Naruto said.

“No, that’s not it at all,” Sasuke quickly retorted. “I just- well, maybe we _do_ need to talk about this all. About…boundaries.”

Naruto tensed, and something deep inside of him started to hurt. What if Sasuke really didn’t want to kiss him again? What if he didn’t want to go any further, ever? Would that…would that really be okay? “I think we should, too,” Naruto said, cautiously.

“I don’t think it’s fair that I should get to control everything and decide what we do and when,” Sasuke said, still looking down at his hands, still speaking quickly. “But I…I kind-of _need_ to, Naruto.”

Sasuke _did_ control everything, and Naruto let him- of course he did. It was the only way it would work, wasn’t it? “Really, Sas, I get it,” Naruto said. “Well, I _think_ I get it. And I’m fine with going slow, honestly! I was really surprised the other night, but it was a nice surprise, so…and…and I _like_ you being in control. Um, you know…”

“…right,” Sasuke murmured, giving him a quick glance before turning his face again. “Well. Um, then you should know that I’m…I’m not a virgin, but I don’t want to just jump into bed with you, either-”

Naruto flushed bright red and froze. _Shit! We’re talking about sex now?! Oh god, I can’t handle this, I really can’t handle this!_ “Oh! No, Sas, I’d never- seriously, we’ll do whatever you want!” And Naruto had never _assumed_ that Sasuke was a…well, virgin, but…okay, maybe he _had_ assumed that- he’d just said he wasn’t interested in people, after all!

“See, that’s not fair, though,” Sasuke went on, and this time he looked at Naruto directly. He took a deep breath. “It should be about what _you_ want, as well. And I’m not saying it’s not going to happen, I just don’t know _when_ it’s going to happen.”

Naruto was close to passing out. They’d only just _kissed_ , and his head had gone through the roof. It had been better than he’d ever thought just kissing could be. So the idea of _sleeping_ with Sasuke?! He wasn’t sure if he could even _handle_ that. “I’ll wait,” Naruto quickly said. Yes, he’d wait- it would be better to wait! “I just want to be with you, Sas.”

Sasuke nodded. “Then…then maybe there’s something else I can do?” he asked. “I’ve just been feeling…guilty. I don’t think I’m a very easy person to date. We can’t even…you won’t even eat in front of me,” Sasuke said.

“But Sasuke, I’ve loved dating you!” Naruto quickly protested. “The eating thing, it’s not a big deal, really!”

“You’re lying,” Sasuke said, narrowing his eyes.

…well. Well _yes_ , he was, but he couldn’t just- “Look, I’m sure it would be nice if we could, you know, go out and eat together, but it’s fine! We’ve been doing all kinds of other things. It’s been _great_ , Sasuke!”

Sasuke sighed. “Okay, just…just hang on a second, I just need to do something…” he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket and quickly typing something in.

Naruto blinked. “Mm? What is it, Sas?”

“The- the food thing,” Sasuke said, looking up from his phone. “There’s this café across the road from my apartment. We know the owner, and some of my friends from uni work there. We could go for coffee, if you like. Cake and stuff.”

“Coffee?” Naruto exclaimed. “ _Cake?!_ Sas, you-”

“They know me there,” Sasuke interrupted. “They’ll take care of it. Your friends are right, Naruto. It’s a lot to ask of someone to never eat when they’re around me. So…this is a first step, okay?”

 _Oh, Sasuke, you…_ Naruto fell back onto the couch, stunned. He really hadn’t expected _this_ as a result of their awkward conversation. They were really going to a café?! Like normal dating people did? Suddenly he was beyond excited. “Okay!” he said, feeling a rush of energy go through him. “Um, now?!”

“Yeah, now. I don’t wanna think about it too much. And Karin’s working today. I’ll let her know we’re coming,” he added, sending another text and then standing up. “Let’s go.”

Sasuke held out his hand and Naruto quickly took it, standing up as well. “Okay, Sas!” he said, giddy with happiness. That had all gone so much better than he’d been expecting!

***

It was happening- it was really happening! They were sitting at a cosy, private table in the corner of a sweet little café, and Naruto was looking at the menu and deciding what to order. He was at a _café_ with Sasuke, and he was about to eat something!

“Do you come here a lot, then?” Naruto asked, grinning over at Sasuke.

Sasuke smiled back- a little shakily, but he was smiling none-the-less. “Itachi comes here at least once a day before or after work, and he makes me come at least once a week as well. It’s good for me, see?”

“It’s not hard for you?” Naruto asked. Sasuke clearly knew this place- he’d walked right up to this table and turned down the reserved sign that had been waiting for them.

Sasuke shook his head. “Maybe at first, but now- like I said, the owner knows us, and she makes me things I’ll eat, so…”

“Wow, that’s really nice, Sas!” Naruto said. But then suddenly he was nervous. He had never, ever consciously eaten in front of Sasuke, and the thought of Sasuke eating in front of him…! At least it wasn’t dinner time. Naruto could get away with just a coffee. Maybe that would be better.

“Ah, Sasuke!” called a voice, and a tall red-headed waitress came bounding over to them and gave Naruto a highly critical look. “Who is _this_?! This isn’t Itachi!! You said _we_ were coming!”

“I never said it was Itachi who was coming with me,” Sasuke responded calmly, not looking bothered. “This is Karin, she’s in my class at uni,” he added to Naruto.

“Another math geek?” Naruto asked, gazing back at the girl. He’d never met any of Sasuke’s friends before- he barely ever talked about them.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Karin exclaimed. “Is this- it is, isn’t it?! It’s _Naruto_!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes and gave Naruto an apologetic look. “Yes, this is Naruto,” Sasuke confirmed. “My…boyfriend,” he added.

Naruto bit back a gasp. Boyfriend?! Sasuke had said _boyfriend_! In _public_ , in front of someone. _Oh my god, oh my god. We’re- we’re boyfriends?!_ “Um, hi,” Naruto managed to squeak out to Karin, deeply flustered.

Karin turned and rushed away from the table, back towards the kitchen. “Juugo!!” she shrieked as she went.

Sasuke winced. “Sorry about that,” he said once she was gone. “She…well, my friends at uni know about you, sort-of. They just kept asking and asking…”

Naruto was stunned. Sasuke had just called Naruto his boyfriend, to his friends. That was…that was unbelievable! “She didn’t take our order,” he squeaked again.

“She’ll be back,” Sasuke said to that with a shrug. “They know what I want, anyway.”

And sure enough before long they were approached again, but by a different waiter this time. “Sorry, Sasuke,” said the tall- _giant_ \- orange-haired man. “I won’t let her out again until she calms down. Here’s your cake.” He put two plates of cake down on the table and then turned to Naruto. “Would you like something to drink? Some coffee?”

Naruto blinked. “Some coffee would be great. Um, just a- cappuccino?” he managed to say, and the man nodded and left.

“That was Juugo,” Sasuke explained once he’d left. “One of Karin’s friends. He’s much calmer than she is, obviously.”

“I can see that,” Naruto said, turning his attention to the cake that Juugo had left them. One piece was much bigger than the other, and was clearly for him. He pulled it towards him; it was a plain vanilla cake, though his had icing on it as well. He was surprised. Sasuke was really going to eat cake?!

Sasuke took his own plate and picked up a fork, and then before Naruto knew what was happening, Sasuke was _eating_. Naruto flushed bright red and turned his face away, shovelling a fork-full of cake into his own mouth as a distraction. _Keep it together, loser, you’ll embarrass yourself!_ Naruto shrieked at himself. _And you’ll embarrass him, too!_

 _Okay, okay, it’s fine, everything’s fine_ , Naruto told himself; they were just sitting here eating cake, and everything would be fine! Oh, but he was so nervous and self-conscious. He was so glad that Sasuke had brought them right here after suggesting the idea. He wasn’t sure if he’d have been able to do this, given time to think about it beforehand.

Naruto took another bit of cake and sneaked a look over at Sasuke. The dark-haired boy- Naruto’s _boyfriend_ \- was sitting there calmly, making his way through his small serving. He took a deep breath and calmed down. “This- this is really good, Sasuke,” he managed to say, his voice high and tense.

Sasuke smiled back at him, putting his fork down and reaching for his glass of water. “I’m glad you like it. And- I meant it before. I don’t want everything to be about me, even though I…well, I have…needs.”

Naruto nodded at once. He was so touched that he just didn’t know what to say. And so he just settled for eating more of his cake.

Soon enough Juugo brought him his coffee, and after a while Naruto finally, finally managed to relax. He noticed that Sasuke only ate half his cake, but Naruto was still stunned, and he felt that somehow they’d both overcome a huge hurdle today.

Karin came out again and cleared the table, and then they sat there for almost another hour just chatting. Naruto had another coffee- he needed it after the day he’d had- and Sasuke didn’t look like he minded at all.

“Thank you, Sasuke,” Naruto said as they stood in front of the café saying goodbye. Sasuke had even paid for their food and drinks himself. “That was really nice.”

Sasuke smiled, taking his hands. “I’m glad,” he said. Then he stepped closer and pressed his mouth to Naruto’s, kissing him quickly before moving away. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“Ah, okay!” Naruto stammered, his skin tingling and his whole body on whole alert. He’d gotten another kiss from Sasuke! “Tomorrow,” he quickly added, waving goodbye as Sasuke crossed the street to his apartment building opposite the café.

And then Naruto walked home in stunned silence, dazed and overwhelmed. Sasuke had kissed him again and called him his boyfriend! It was the best gift he had ever gotten.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww well, isn't that nice?! Everything's going so well and they're so happy! And obviously, this will last, and they'll live happily ever after. Yes, yes, very nice...*cough*.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehehehe, so the main comment from the last chapter was "what?? Sasuke's not a virgin?? Who was his first??" Heh well you'll find out in this chapter ^_^. Finally, we're getting back to Sasuke's POV for a while. Enjoy!

In the past week, Sasuke had spent a lot of time thinking about that kiss- those kisses. It seemed obvious to him now that he _did_ want to be with Naruto, and he did want to take things further- he wanted to kiss him and hug him and hold his hand whenever he wanted. Whenever _they_ wanted. And last week when Naruto had shared with him- when he’d told Sasuke about his future dream and about his cherished childhood teacher- Sasuke had been so _happy_ , like a part of him inside had been singing.

And yet. …and yet. _You know he’ll expect the same from you_ , said a voice inside Sasuke’s mind. _You’ll have to **share**. You’ll have to tell him things._

It wouldn’t be like the other day when they’d talked about boundaries. That had been a difficult, awkward conversation, but Sasuke had done it and it had been fine, in the end. In a way, spending so much time with councillors had prepared him for just that kind of conversation. But telling Naruto _more_ … Telling Naruto about his _family_ , about- about everything that had happened; just the thought of having to say those things out-loud was terrifying.

He couldn’t do it. He knew he couldn’t. And it wasn’t _fair_. Naruto had started to share with him, and Sasuke knew that if he asked, Naruto would tell him more. And yes, Sasuke was curious. Of course he was. Who were Naruto’s parents? What had happened to them? Didn’t he have any other family?

Oh, but Sasuke would never ask those things. No, he _couldn’t_ , because Naruto would answer him, and then he’d have every right to ask Sasuke the exact same questions. And that- that was something that Sasuke just couldn’t share. Not yet. Maybe- maybe not _ever_.

***

“I kissed him,” Sasuke announced to his councillor once they’d sat down in her office. “Last week. I kissed him.”

His councillor made a happy, squeaky sound in her throat which she rapidly tried to suppress. “You _didn’t_!” she exclaimed. “You finally got sick of waiting for _him_ to kiss _you_?”

“Ha,” Sasuke snorted. “We could have been dating for _years_ and he wouldn’t have kissed me.” Sasuke would have never of expected such a show of control from someone like Naruto, yet as the weeks had gone by, it had become excruciatingly clear that Naruto had taken Sasuke’s ‘personal space’ warning to heart. He’d come to realise that it would be up to him to initiate _everything_.

“I’m surprised, I must admit,” his councillor said. “Based on what you’ve told me about him, that he’s so… _experienced_...well, I was slightly worried that you’d have to fight him off! And yet it seems to be the opposite.”

“No kidding,” Sasuke said to that, biting back a smirk. He hadn’t used the term ‘experienced’ when describing Naruto back in the beginning; he’d used a much less complimentary expression.

Sasuke’s friends at uni had somehow figured out- guessed- that Sasuke was, well, dating someone. When he’d finally gotten sick of Karin and Suigetsu’s begging and teasing, he’d given in and told them Naruto’s name- and oh yes, they’d known who he was! Naruto was well-known. Suigetsu had even met him once. They had a lot of stories to tell him.

“And yet he’s been a perfect gentleman with you,” she went on. “Controlled and restrained.”

“Yes,” Sasuke said with a frustrated sigh.

He hadn’t been _surprised_ , exactly, by what Karin and her sources had told him about Naruto; how could he have been, given how they’d met? That day in the clinic, Naruto bent over a counter with his tongue stuck down that receptionist’s throat in a vulgar and misguided attempt to seduce him. The way he dressed, and moved…no, he hadn’t been surprised by Naruto’s reputation.

But from what Karin had said, no-one had seen Naruto around for _months_. By all accounts, the famous Naruto Uzumaki had just disappeared. Sasuke could have told them exactly where he was- with _him_. And Naruto had stayed right there with him, despite getting nothing from Sasuke. A few hugs, holding hands; apparently that was enough for him. _That_ had been more of a surprise than anything else.

“Well,” his councillor said, leaning back against her chair and taking a long sip of her tea. “Well, this is quite a development. How are you feeling about it?”

Sasuke was feeling that it was _about damn time_ ; but simultaneously, he was uneasy and anxious about feeling like that. He had wanted to take things slow- he _still_ wanted that. But sometimes, at the end of a date perhaps when they were saying goodbye, he’d been left disappointed that Naruto hadn’t kissed him. And he’d even been beginning to wonder…was Naruto even attracted to him at all? Did he _want_ to kiss him?

The waiting had gotten too much; Sasuke had wanted to kiss him, so he had.

“I’m alright,” Sasuke eventually said, in response to the question. “We had that conversation as well, finally, about boundaries. Oh, and we went to the café together and I ate some cake.”

“You _didn’t_!!” she shrieked, almost jumping up out of her chair. “Sasuke! What a time of it you’ve had! I’m so proud I could _cry_ …”

Sasuke wouldn’t have been surprised if she did. She was a very emotional person. “Yeah, well…”

“Oh, Sasuke, aren’t you _exhausted_?! How did it go, the conversation? And the café- that’s amazing. Did it go well?!”

“It went…just fine,” Sasuke said to that, a tremor of something- nerves- running right through him. “I told him about needing to be in control, and he accepted that right away.”

“As we thought he would,” his councillor pointed out.

“Right,” Sasuke agreed. They’d discussed Naruto’s restraint on multiple occasions, about how delicately Naruto treated him. Sasuke didn’t necessarily like that, but he had to admit that he probably needed it. “And I told him how it made me feel guilty. That’s what led to going to the café.”

That idea had been suggested at his last appointment, as something he and Naruto might do together in the future. Sasuke had been becoming more and more aware of the food issue. He had to deal with it with Itachi, obviously, but it wasn’t a problem at school, where he never bothered to befriend anyone, or at uni, because he was never there long enough to have to eat- though Karin and her friends knew about it anyway.

It was different with Naruto. Sometimes they’d be together for hours and hours, and Sasuke would suddenly become aware that he was probably hungry. And of course, Naruto would never have _said_ anything, he just would have gone on being hungry. No, it wasn’t fair, and like his councillor had said- Sasuke had to look to the future. If Sasuke was going to get better, to _heal_ , food had to become a normal part of his life again.

“I really am very proud, Sasuke. That would have been hard for you, I’m sure.”

“It…it was a little…well, it was okay in the end. After the food part was over.” No, it _had_ been hard for him. He had to admit it to himself, even if he couldn’t say it out-loud. He’d been nervous and tense all the way to the café, and he’d just been so relieved that he wasn’t shaking on the outside. Every crumb of that cake had been an effort to swallow, but he’d done it- more or less.

And if after the cafe he’d been completely worn-out, physically and mentally, if he’d gone home and just collapsed into a bundle of nerves and slept for hours and hours, well…no-one had to know about that, least of all Naruto.

“This is good, Sasuke. Let’s talk about it some more. I want to know that you’re really okay with it all,” his counsellor said, re-filling her teacup and pulling out her notes.

So they settled down and spent the next hour going over every detail of Sasuke’s conversation with Naruto in detail. And it was great; with so much time spent talking about Naruto, they conveniently never got around to discussing the fact that Sasuke’s nightmares were starting to return.

***

The school holidays were gradually coming to an end. Sasuke and Naruto had spent a lazy afternoon watching movies and reading, and now they were making out on the couch- just as lazily. Naruto was curled up beside him, half-leaning on Sasuke’s shoulder, gazing over at him and smiling.

“Just a few days left,” Sasuke murmured with a sigh. Naruto was tracing his finger down Sasuke’s cheeks and across his jawline, pressing little kisses along the imaginary line he was drawing.

Sasuke shivered when Naruto lay a finger just lightly on Sasuke’s bottom lip; Naruto laughed and nudged Sasuke’s nose against his own, nuzzling into his cheeks. “You’re so cute, Sas,” Naruto declared, and Sasuke bit down on his finger in retaliation.

Naruto squealed and pulled away. “Now who’s cute?!” Sasuke demanded, sulking over at Naruto.

“You are, still, forever,” Naruto replied, sucking on his finger. He leaned back over with a gleam in his eyes, kissing Sasuke harder now, biting down on his bottom lip and then pushing his tongue into Sasuke’s mouth when he gasped.

“Hm- _mm_ ,” Sasuke groaned softly, rather liking the change of pace. He ran his hands up through his messy hair, tugging the blonde closer to him, bringing them into closer contact. Naruto made his way from Sasuke’s mouth to his throat, biting down and drawing another gasp from him.

“ _Sasuke_ …” Naruto breathed, sucking and biting down on his skin. “Mm…this is- is this _really_ -”

Sasuke opened his eyes and pushed Naruto away from him at once. “Naruto!” he cried out. “I swear to god, if you ask me if this is _okay_ one more time-!”

Naruto fell back on the couch and started laughing, gripping his stomach and writhing around. “Ah! Okay, okay, I get it!” he gasped out, doubling over. “Oh, you look so _mad_!”

“I _am_ mad!” Sasuke scowled, shifting over to Naruto’s side of the couch and glaring down at him. “Really, really mad!”

Naruto reached up and tugged Sasuke down until he fell on top of him. “Okay, really, I get it!” he said, still laughing. “But you know I’m gonna need written consent before we go _any_ further than this!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes and settled down more comfortably on Naruto’s chest, lying half-on and half-off him. Yeah, Naruto would probably make him write it down before they had sex- if they ever did. Despite the fact that they’d been spending pretty much every day together these holidays, things had been moving at a glacial pace.

“I’ll write it down and get it notarised,” Sasuke promised, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Ah, good, very considerate of you!” Naruto said to that, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead. “Just cause, you know…”

“Yes, you’re a wimp,” Sasuke said. “I know.” He looked up and grinned at Naruto pouting at him.

They fell into an easy silence after that, with Sasuke resting comfortably on top of Naruto and feeling surprisingly at-ease. It was quiet and peaceful in the apartment, and the afternoon sun was pouring in through the windows. With the sound of Naruto’s heartbeat in his ear, Sasuke almost thought he could have fallen asleep; god knows he needed it. Yes, almost.

“Hey, Sas,” Naruto murmured, just when he was starting to drift off. “You know what you said that time, about how you- well, that you’re not a…um…”

Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He glanced up at Naruto and could tell in an instant that the poor boy was feeling terribly awkward. “A virgin?” he prompted, and Naruto blushed and nodded. “What about it?”

“Oh, well, I was just wondering…what was it like?” Naruto asked.

“You’re asking me what my first time was like?” Sasuke asked. “Really?”

“Uh, really,” Naruto confirmed, still blushing. “You know, like…who it was with and stuff?”

And stuff. Right. “Oh. Just…this guy. It wasn’t anything serious. He was- I guess he was nice enough.”

Yes, he’d been nice, funny even, though the only thing that he and Sasuke had in common was that they’d both been committed to _that place_ against their will. Sasuke had spent about two months in the rehabilitation centre, and it was pretty awful. People kept telling him that he was _sick_ , that he was traumatised, that he needed to open up if he wanted to heal. Jun had been the only thing there to distract him from all that crap.

Though, in retrospect, Sasuke _had_ been sick…but that centre had still been awful. It hadn’t helped him- it had done the opposite. Eventually Itachi had believed him, and convinced his father that Sasuke should come and stay with him in the city for a while- there weren’t many doctors or therapists in the small town that Sasuke’s family lived in.

“Hey Sas, are you thinking about him now?” Naruto asked, breaking through Sasuke’s silent musing. “You’ve got this odd look on your face.”

“Ah, no,” Sasuke admitted. “It’s just that- when all that happened, you know, it wasn’t…a very nice time for me-”

“What, the _sex_?” Naruto asked, alarmed.

Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “The sex was fine. Just- other things happening at the time. I guess it was a distraction. Sorry to disappoint you- it wasn’t some big, romantic thing with candles that I’ll remember forever and ever.”

Naruto seemed to consider this, a small frown on his face. “So it was nothing serious? You…liked it?”

“It wasn’t a long-term thing, and yes, it was nice enough I suppose,” Sasuke said.

Not great. Neither of them had been particularly _interested_ in sex, but they both had their own reasons for wanting to take that step, to shed the technicality of being virgins- to take ownership. They’d snuck into each other’s rooms every night for a week and then they were caught, and it was over. They were both young, and bored, and angry. It was a temporary arrangement, nothing more. “We weren’t even dating, really, it was just…casual.”

“…oh,” Naruto said to that, sounding surprised.

“Well, I told you I’d never dated anyone before, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did,” Naruto admitted. “So…what was it like, then, if it wasn’t romantic?”

Sasuke shifted awkwardly. What was this sudden interrogation? Sasuke wasn’t sure where this sudden interest had come from, or what Naruto had been expecting him to say. He wondered if Naruto was starting to make the same assumptions as everyone else: that Sasuke’s attitude towards sex had something to do with what he’d been through as a child. But Naruto didn’t even know about Obito yet, so…

“What was _your_ first time like, Naruto?” Sasuke demanded, determined to change the course of this conversation. He re-settled by Naruto’s side, curled around his waist, head propped on his chest so that he could see Naruto’s face.

“Ah, with a girl or a boy, Sas?” Naruto asked with a grin.

“…a girl,” Sasuke asked, suddenly feeling curious. Naruto had been with both, had he? He seemed to be fairly exclusively into men at the moment, though.

“I don’t really remember it,” Naruto said at once. “We were a bit drunk, and it was dark, and- yeah, pretty unremarkable.”

…right. Sasuke wasn’t entirely surprised to hear that, though that probably wasn’t fair of him. Had Naruto _needed_ to be drunk to be with a girl? To try it out? “With a boy, then?”

“Ah, I don’t really remember it,” Naruto said again. “We were-”

-right, okay then. “A bit drunk?” Sasuke guessed.

“…yeah,” he admitted, looking sheepish.

“Naruto, that’s awful!” Sasuke scolded. Naruto had surely been fairly young at those times- and he’d been drunk enough that he couldn’t remember the details?!

“Well, that’s why I wanna know what _your_ first time was like!” Naruto said at once. “Come on, tell me!”

Sasuke shoved him in the stomach and gave him a disproving look. “Don’t try to live through me! I told you, it was _fine_. Nothing special.”

Truthfully, the details were a little hazy. All he really remembered is that they’d both been so inexperienced that they’d had to look up all the instructions with the iPhone that Sasuke had snuck in. They’d raided the nurse’s station and surprisingly found condoms, and something they could use as lube, and then- well, yeah, the details were hazy- poor Jun, that Sasuke had so few memories of him! 

“Hmm. I see…” Naruto mused, and when Sasuke turned to look at him, he saw that Naruto had an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face. “Ah, not that I’m saying that we should have sex, Sasuke, I just…I was curious, that’s all. And I don’t get drunk like that anymore, by the way!”

“Okay,” Sasuke said, sighing and shrugging and re-settling back down on his chest. He hoped they were done talking about it, then. He wasn’t sure what was more awkward- talking about sex with his counsellor or talking about sex with Naruto. At least they were talking about it, though. That was progress, of a sort.

They fell quiet once more, and Sasuke relaxed on his comfy, warm perch. He was very comfortable, and hoped they could stay like that long enough for him to catch up on some sleep. It was strange to think about, really, just how willing Sasuke was to be this close to Naruto. Did he feel safe? Well, not entirely. There was always a part of him that was on edge- that was constantly worried about what might happen between them, about what Naruto might _ask_. And yet, that didn’t stop him. He _wanted_ to be close to Naruto. Evidently it was a risk he was willing to take.

Sasuke shifted over to Naruto’s other side, and as he did so he caught a glance at Naruto: the blonde had a pleading, almost mournful expression on his face.

He bit back a laugh. “Yes?” he asked, his voice dead-pan. “Did you need something?”

“I wanna kiss you again,” Naruto sulked.

“So kiss me then,” Sasuke said, trying his best to be patient. This boy!!

“…no,” Naruto murmured, turning his head away and sulking into the couch. “No, it’s okay…”

“You think I don’t like it, don’t you?” Sasuke said with a smirk.

“Well, Sas, you _did_ say that you weren’t, you know, _interested_ in people like that, so…”

Sasuke sighed and pushed himself up to sit on Naruto’s stomach, looking down at him with a disapproving glare. “You’re an idiot,” he said. “Just because kissing doesn’t turn me on like it does with _you_ -”

“Sasuke!!” Naruto exclaimed, turning red at once and sitting up, causing Sasuke to slid down to his thighs. “It- it does _not_ turn me on-”

“Does too,” Sasuke retorted. “I’ve felt it-”

“ _Sasuke_!!” Naruto shrieked, pushing him away, trying to escape across the couch.

“Kiss me,” Sasuke demanded, following him across the cushions. “Go on, kiss me!”

“No!” Naruto cried. “I’m never kissing you _again_!”

“I _dare_ you,” Sasuke went on, circling his arms around Naruto’s waist once they’d reached the end of the couch and Naruto couldn’t go any further. He leaned over and pecked at Naruto’s neck, drawing another shriek from the redder-than-a-tomato blonde. And then Naruto burst into giggles when Sasuke’s hands moved across his stomach.

… _he’s ticklish_ , Sasuke realised with a start. He grinned and kept moving his fingers across Naruto’s stomach and waist.

“Ah, Sas, stop- stop it!” Naruto cried out in between giggles, snatching at Sasuke’s hands and trying to keep him still- a failed effort. “Sasuke! I’ll show you!” In an instant he shifted out from under him, flipping them over to straddle Sasuke’s waist and keep him down.

It didn’t stop the tickling, though. Naruto shrieked with laughter and tried to evade Sasuke’s hands, leaning down and peppering his chin and neck with kisses. Sasuke laughed in return. “I win!” he called out, wrapping his arms around Naruto’s shoulders and pulling him down.

“Okay, okay, you win!” Naruto agreed, kissing up his jawline to his cheeks and nose. “But just see if I ever kiss you _properly_ again! You’re a demon, Sas-”

Sasuke laughed again and the next time Naruto went to kiss his cheek he angled his face so that Naruto landed on his mouth. Sasuke would get what he wanted, one way or another! And see, Naruto was completely defeated now, letting out a soft groan when Sasuke bit down on his bottom lip.

Sasuke only got a few minutes to enjoy his victory, though, because then there was the sound of keys in the front door and Naruto jumped, pushing Sasuke off of him.

“Shit, Itachi’s home!!” Naruto squeaked, quickly adjusting his clothes and smoothing out his ruffled hair. He looked so panicked that Sasuke almost laughed.

“So?” Sasuke asked, poking his tongue out at Naruto and doing nothing to fix his appearance at all. What did it matter? He didn’t care if it were completely obvious what they’d been up to.

“How do I look??” Naruto demanded, reaching over to smooth down Sasuke’s hair as well. “I’m not still _blushing_ , am I?!” 

“Sasuke, I’m home!” Itachi called from the front door, walking down the hall to the lounge.

“Ah, welcome home, Itachi!” Naruto called back, sitting up straight on the couch, hands stiffly by his sides. “How was work?”

“…Naruto,” Itachi remarked. “You’re here again. What a surprise.”

“Isn’t it, though?” Naruto said back, his voice cheery and light, a bright smile plastered on his face. “So how many lives did you save today?”

“Just a few,” Itachi said, coming over to sit on the armchair opposite the couch, and gazing over at Sasuke, his eyes taking in his mused-up hair and uneven clothing.

Sasuke stared right on back, raising an eyebrow. _Yes, so what, Itachi?_ he said in his mind. _What’re you going to do about it?_

“Have a good evening, did you?” Itachi asked, turning back to Naruto.

“Oh, sure,” Naruto said to that. “Ah, but I guess it’s getting late and I should…”

“A pity,” Itachi murmured.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. These two were just as bad as each other. Itachi had promised to be civil, and technically he was sticking to that promise, but only just. And Naruto- he was so jumpy and tense around Itachi!

Sasuke stood up and held his hand out to Naruto. “I’ll walk you out, then,” he said. There was no point trying to get him to stay- and it was unlikely that Itachi would be leaving them alone.

Naruto nodded and took his hand. “Ah, see you next time, Itachi!”

“I look forward to it,” Itachi said to that, as they moved to the front door and Naruto collected his bag.

“Running away again?” Sasuke teased him, as he kissed Naruto’s cheek and deliberately ruffled his hair again.

“Yes,” Naruto said back emphatically. “I’m trying, Sas, really I am!”

“Sure you are,” Sasuke soothed. “Well, I’m tired anyway. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“’night, Sasuke!” Naruto said, kissing him again and then heading towards the stairs, turning back and waving before he disappeared from view.

Sasuke stay there leaning on the doorframe for a moment longer, gathering his strength to go and confront Itachi. Honestly! Sasuke knew- Naruto had _told_ him- how uncomfortable it made him to see Sasuke fight with his brother, and Sasuke had done his best not to snap at Itachi since then. But if things were going to work between him and Naruto, then his brother and his boyfriend had to try harder to get along. Sasuke would _make_ them try harder.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I apologize for the delay in replying to comments- I think I'm a little behind? Got a lot of school and work stuff to do this week ahhh!)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay y'll, you've had your fluffy-ness and awww-so-cute-ness, it's time for things to get serious!! ....*cries hysterically*
> 
> P.s. Some traumatic memories ahead so an **extra trigger warning**

Sasuke stared up at the roof; it was just visible in the early morning light that was filtering in through the open curtains. His dream had been…horrific, and he hadn’t been able to wake. He had known, as he often did, that he was _dreaming_ , that he was lying in bed asleep; but try as he might he just couldn’t pull himself out of sleep. He’d been hopelessly trapped there in the dream while his subconscious replayed those images- those _memories_ \- over and over and over again.

It wasn’t just the images that bothered him. Sometimes he could convince himself that his subconscious was making up all those little details anyway- that things hadn’t _actually_ happened that way, that they weren’t real memories. How could he have remembered everything that perfectly- _seen_ everything that perfectly? It had all happened so _fast_.  Itachi had slammed on the breaks and bodies went flying. Just a few seconds, and then three people were dead. No, it had happened too fast. That image of his cousin Shisui staring at him- right at him- the fear, the horror on his face, as everything happened in slow-motion- no, it wasn’t a _memory_ ; his mind was making that all up.

…the _sounds_ , though. His mother’s screaming in his ears, his father and Itachi yelling. His own choked cries. And the smell of burnt rubber; the feel of his mother’s arms shooting out to hold him against the back seat, to shield him from the flying glass and metal poles. He couldn’t make those things up, he knew he couldn’t. They were true memories, and he was doomed to re-live them repeatedly.

Sasuke shivered as he lay in bed, waiting until his limbs stopped shaking and for the room came into proper focus around him. When it did he sat up and pushed the sheets off of him, and climbed out of bed.

He could hear Itachi moving around in his room. Sasuke crossed the apartment and slipped through the door, seating himself on his brother's bed and wrapping the blanket around him. Itachi stuck his head around the bathroom door, toothbrush in his mouth, and have him a vaguely sympathetic look before disappearing again. 

Taking this as permission to stay, Sasuke scooted up to the top of the bed and lay down on the pillows. Itachi's room was dark; dark-navy walls and charcoal blinds. It helped him sleep when he had irregular shifts. Sasuke's room was the opposite: a pale cream colour and gauzy curtains to let in the light. Itachi teased him and called him a cat because he liked to nap in the sun.

Well, Sasuke liked it that way; but there was certainly something _calming_ about the warm, heavy atmosphere in his brother's room. He tried to use it to make himself relax, to force his muscles to unclench and his breathing to smooth out.

Itachi reappeared a few minutes later, moving to his dresser to shove some clothes into his bag. "I considered waking you,” he murmured. “A few times. But..."

...but waking Sasuke during one of his dreams was never a good idea. "It's okay," Sasuke said with a shrug. "It wasn't too bad. They used to be worse." Or maybe…maybe he was just getting used to them. 

“Should we make an extra appointment with your councillor? And your doctor, maybe.” Itachi asked, coming over to sit on the bed. “You don’t look well. They’d make time for you.”

Yes, Sasuke was sure that they would. Really, he was lucky; it was probably the first time ever that he’d had a doctor _and_ councillor that he got along well with, and who worked well together.

“No, it’s okay,” Sasuke said with a shake of his head. “I’ll just stick to my regular appointments.” He didn’t want anything else disrupting his normal schedule. Besides, school was starting again tomorrow and he didn’t want to add anything else to his commitments. And he was feeling better already, warmth flowing into his limbs and his breath coming evenly and steady.

"This is the fifth time this fortnight, though," Itachi commented, and Sasuke inwardly cursed his brother’s perfect memory. "You've been pushed off balance and your sleep patterns have been affected. It could get worse, Sasuke."

Sasuke nodded in recognition of this. He knew that. Even one or two bad nights' sleep could cause things to spiral out of control if he wasn't careful. "I appreciate how restrained you're being, not blaming it on Naruto," Sasuke commented in a dead-pan voice.  

Itachi winced, standing up from the bed and straightening his scrubs. "...well. As you keep saying. It's up to you. Do you want me to stay home from work?"

"No, of course not. And it _is_ up to me; I’ve got it under control, I promise," Sasuke said with a sigh, sinking further into the pillows. It was nice in here. He might even manage to fall asleep again. 

"I _am_ worried, though," Itachi went on, moving to pick up his bag and preparing to leave. "If this continues..."

Sasuke said nothing to that; he just waved his brother out of the room and then squeezed his eyes shut. Eventually Itachi left, and Sasuke heard him move to the front door, and heard the door close behind him.

He was still feeling tense and uneasy- like he was a fair bit these days. There was something new in his life, something big. Of course that would have a ripple effect on everything else- he’d expected it. He would deal with it in his own way. As long as things continued as they were going with Naruto- as long as they had those boundaries in place- it would be fine.

***

Sasuke woke moments before his alarm went off. He stretched out under his blankets and reached for his phone, smiling when he saw the expected text message from Naruto waiting there. Naruto was surprisingly predictable, and Sasuke liked it.

 _7am is not a natural time for human beings to be awake_ , the message read, and Sasuke’s smile widened.

 _If you get ready fast we can take the long way to school, and you can have more hand-holding time_ , he typed back. Then he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom to wash up, and by the time he got back he had a reply.

 _Okay!!!!_ the message read, with an unnecessary abundance of exclamation points. _I’ll see you soon!_

Sasuke moved to the kitchen, surprised to find himself in a good mood despite it being the first day back at school. He didn’t even get annoyed to find a note from Itachi on the dining table. _Have a good day_ , it read; _and remember to eat breakfast!_

Sasuke did as he was instructed, and before long he was ready for school. He grabbed his bag- neatly packed the previous night- and headed for his designated meeting-point where he found Naruto waiting for him already.

“’morning,” he said, returning Naruto’s sunny grin with a warm smile of his own. “As promised,” he added, holding out his hand.

“Good morning, Sasuke!” Naruto said back, taking Sasuke’s hand happily and gripping it tight. “Can you believe the holidays are already over?! It went too fast!”

“Well, hopefully this term will go fast too, and it’ll be holidays again before you know it,” Sasuke soothed as they started walking.

Going the ‘long way’ meant taking quiet back-streets that would be relatively free of other students and people going to work. It was calm and peaceful, and Sasuke liked the feeling of walking along holding Naruto’s hand. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Sasuke stifled a yawn. He’d slept okay last night, thanks to some pills from Itachi.

“You’ve spoiled me these past two weeks, you know,” Naruto said abruptly, as they reached the half-way point to school. He leaned over to give Sasuke’s cheek a quick peck- as daring as he ever really got in public. “I’ve seen you pretty much every day! But you’ve gotta focus on school now. I guess I do too!”

Sasuke smiled at that. He’d been wondering how to bring it up- how to warn Naruto that Sasuke’s attention would be split now that the new term had started. In fact, Sasuke usually would have spent the holidays studying as well, or working on a project of some kind, but he’d put all that aside for the first time in years.

“Maybe Sai can make you another schedule,” Sasuke teased. “So all your _socialising time with Sasuke_ is all planned out,” he added, quoting from Sai’s meticulously-planned pre-exam-week whiteboard timetable.

“He said I have to learn to manage my own time,” Naruto said doubtfully, looking at his feet; and then he blinked and looked back up at Sasuke. “Ah! You were joking, right? Teasing me?”

“Yes, Naruto, I was teasing you,” Sasuke said with a grin, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure we can manage to balance our time without Sai’s help.”

“Right!” Naruto said, with more confidence than he probably felt. Sasuke knew it would be hard for him this term; he needed to do as well as possible on all his tests and assessments to get where he wanted to go.

“I’m planning to study all today and tomorrow, but we’ll hang out on Wednesday, okay? All afternoon. No homework or anything.”

“Okay!” Naruto said to that brightly. They walked around a corner and the tall school buildings came into view ahead of them. “Then I’ll study hard all today and tomorrow as well. Ino will be pleased.”

Sasuke nodded. Good; it was a plan. He stopped walking and pulled Naruto behind a tree. They were running ahead of schedule, and had a few extra minutes for some kisses before they had to get to school.

***

“When Itachi gets home tonight, you need to stay for at least fifteen minutes,” Sasuke instructed Naruto, putting on his strictest voice and gazing at him sternly across the jigsaw puzzle. “Fifteen minutes of civil conversation. Got that?” he added, biting back a yawn. He hadn’t slept well last night. More dreams.

“Yes, Sasuke,” Naruto replied meekly, picking up two pieces of puzzle and considering them carefully. “I’ll be on my best behaviour, I promise. I know it’s important to you.”

“Good,” Sasuke confirmed with a nod. Though even if Naruto _did_ understand and had the very best of intentions, he still seemed to have a gut reaction to _run_ when he was in Itachi’s presence. Sasuke shook his head and reached out towards Naruto’s hands. “That piece goes here. Have you been hiding it? I’ve been looking for it for ages!”

“I wasn’t hiding it!” Naruto quickly retorted, poking his tongue out at Sasuke. “And this puzzle is _impossible_. There’s no way we’ll finish it tonight!”

“Not with _that_ attitude,” Sasuke said back. Naruto had been complaining about how ridiculously difficult this puzzle was all afternoon- yet he hadn’t stopped or given up; his attention had been glued to the little pieces of cardboard from the instant he’d arrived at Sasuke’s apartment. Who knew that Naruto loved puzzles so much?

Naruto gave a long-suffering sigh and reached for his iced tea. “I think there are pieces missing,” he grumbled, gazing at the pile of remaining pieces in suspicion. And then there was a sound from the front door- keys in the lock- and he tensed up at once. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath.

Sasuke bit back a sigh. He was trying to be sympathetic, trying to see Itachi as Naruto saw him. And surely _he’d_ find it just as hard and nerve-wracking to deal with Naruto’s family, wouldn’t he? Well, if he had any. And Itachi wasn’t making things any easier; he’d been viciously hard on Naruto from the moment he’d found out about the blonde who’d been hanging around Sasuke so insistently.

“Sasuke? I’m home,” Itachi called from the door, and within moments he’d arrived in the living room. His eyes went straight to Naruto sitting on the floor by the couch. “…Naruto. An unexpected surprise.”

“Hi, Itachi,” Naruto said, still tense as anything, but evidently doing his best to smile. “Uh, welcome home!”

Itachi nodded at that, and fell into his armchair. “Puzzles?” he queried.

“Puzzles,” Sasuke confirmed, while giving his brother a warning look to remind him of the discussion- _lecture_ , rather- they’d had this morning. “Well, _one_ puzzle, anyway. It said on the box that it was difficult, but it’s been a little more challenging than anticipated.”

“More like _impossible_ ,” Naruto added. “We’ve been at this for hours and we’re only half-done!”

“This is what you’ve been doing all afternoon?” Itachi asked, looking suspicious- as if two teenage boys weren’t capable of such a thing.

“Yes, this is what we’ve been doing,” said Sasuke. “Got a problem with that?” And he didn’t mind that it was taking so long- it was a good distraction from the leftover memories lingering after his dream. He’d been tense and on edge all day, and he was sure that Naruto had noticed.

“I don’t see why it’s taking so long,” Naruto whined. “Given Sas’s weird memory-power thing.”

Itachi frowned. “ _Sasuke’s_ ‘memory-power thing’ doesn’t quite work like that,” he said, stressing the _Sasuke_ over Naruto’s favoured nickname.

Naruto frowned back. “Oh- that’s right, you have it too, don’t you? Must be useful, being a doctor!”

“Not especially,” Itachi said back. “Having the data in your head doesn’t guarantee you’ll be able to connect the data in relevant ways.”

“Which is what I told you,” Sasuke pointed out, shaking a puzzle-piece at Naruto. “Just because I know what the puzzle will look like in the end doesn’t mean I know which piece connects with this one!”

Naruto looked doubtful. “I’d still give my right hand for that kind-of memory. Ah, the left one, maybe,” he added, sending Sasuke a cheeky grin.

Itachi gave them both a pained look. “….well,” he began. “Sasuke’s always loved puzzles. He wouldn’t have bothered if they weren’t a challenge for him. He used to spend hours alone doing them.”

“Oh, really?” Naruto said to that. “So you’ve always been a puzzle geek _and_ a math geek, Sas? What else were you into? Dinosaurs?”

“Everyone goes through a dinosaur phase,” Sasuke growled. “What’s wrong with that?” Naruto had seen Mr. Roary in his room and had liked him, so it was unfair to make fun of him _now_.

“Mm, there was the ancient Egypt phase as well,” Itachi mused, gazing over at Sasuke with a fond, reminiscent expression on his face that had Sasuke scowling. “And the astronomy phase. The cat phase, too, though I suppose that one’s still going on-”

“That’s quite enough of that,” Sasuke snapped, not liking the _let’s-pick-on-Sasuke_ turn the conversation had taken- or how Itachi’s eyes lit up in that annoying way.

“What else?” Naruto prompted, grinning widely and looking delighted- curse him. He shifted away from the puzzle and closer to Itachi. “What else did he like?”

“Mmm…” Itachi murmured, leaning back in his chair. “Well, he was about 10 when I got accepted into pre-med. For a few months after that he was convinced that _he_ wanted to be a doctor as well. He carried that stethoscope with him everywhere…”

Naruto scoffed. “What? Sasuke, a doctor? As if! He _hates_ hospitals!”

“Oh, he would have been a terrible doctor,” Itachi agreed. “Even then he couldn’t stand to be around sick people.”

Naruto nodded enthusiastically, putting aside his puzzle pieces and leaning forward towards Itachi. “It freaks him out every time I even _sneeze_.”

“You’ve seen the bottle of hand sanitiser at the front door?” Itachi asked. “He makes me wash my hands whenever I come home from work, so I don’t bring home ‘hospital germs’.”

“Aww, so I guess he just wanted to be like his big brother! Cute little ten-year-old Sasuke…”

 _Ten-year-old Sasuke._ What a horrible year that had been.

Sasuke stood abruptly. “I’m going to the bathroom,” he muttered. “Hopefully the two of you can find something better to talk about while I’m gone!” He stalked off to his room and then into his bathroom, flicking on the light and gazing at his reflection in the mirror. Good, he wasn’t blushing.

 _At least they’re talking to each other_ , Sasuke thought to himself. _They’re having an actual conversation._ But did that conversation have to be about _him_? And besides, back then…well, those weren’t exactly good memories. Itachi had graduated high school and entered university at a young age. Even before then, the amount of time he could spend with Sasuke had been slowly decreasing; and after that it went down to almost nothing. Not even Sasuke’s ‘interest’ in being a doctor had managed to secure any more time with him.

It’s not like he could complain about _that_ anymore. These days, Itachi hung around him far more than was necessary- a very persistent pest. _It could be worse_ , Sasuke reminded himself. And Naruto was just asking very simple, easy questions about what kinds of things Sasuke had been interested in as a child. As long as he kept to safe questions like that, it was fine, wasn’t it?

Sasuke shivered. It was probably time to call it a night and get Naruto to leave. He really wasn’t feeling well at all. He should probably get some sleeping pills from Itachi for tonight, so he could have a night off from the dreams.

He sighed, washing and drying his face before leaving the bathroom. He wandered back into the living room to find Naruto and Itachi gone, and their voices coming from the other side of the apartment- Itachi’s room. He frowned. What were they doing?

As he moved closer he could make out what they were saying, and he tensed up at once.

“Aww! He was so cute! Look at his eyes- he’s so adorable!” Naruto was saying, in a gushing, sing-song voice. “His little smile! And who’s this, next to you?”

“Our cousin,” said Itachi. “This was on a family trip.”

Sasuke tensed up further. Wait, wait- their _cousin_?! What was Itachi doing? He sped up and burst into Itachi’s room, pushing past Naruto and snatching at whatever Itachi was holding. _Photos_ \- photos of Sasuke and his family. Where had these even come from? And why on earth was he showing them to _Naruto?!_

“Itachi!” Sasuke exclaimed. “What are you doing?!” He looked at the photos briefly before dropping them to the ground as if they burned him- no, no, he couldn’t believe Itachi had those in the house! They weren’t meant to have anything like that!

“Calm down, Sasuke,” Itachi soothed, “Naruto just asked what you looked like as a child-”

Sasuke clenched his fists as he was instantly filled with a sudden, burning rage. “So you showed him _these_?!” he declared, his voice rising and his body starting shake. How dare he show Naruto such things! He had never wanted those parts of his life to cross over with his new chance with Naruto!

“Sasuke, wait- it was my fault!” Naruto quickly interrupted, and Sasuke felt his hand circling his wrist. “I asked him about-”

He _asked_ him. Sasuke saw red and wrenched his arm away, whirling around. He’d _asked_ Itachi to see. “What are you even _doing_ in here?!” he demanded. “You shouldn’t be looking at our personal things!” At those photos of his family- Shisui, his parents! Even with the photos discarded on the floor, their faces still raced through his mind with stabs of pain.

Naruto backed away at once, holding his hands up in front of himself in surrender. “Yes, of course, I’m sorry!” he said, his face draining of colour and turning pale. “It’s just, well, I was curious, and you never talk about your family, so-”

“So you asked my brother about them?!” Sasuke hissed. Like it was _his_ fault he hadn’t shared?! Maybe he hadn’t wanted to share, had that never occurred to Naruto? “You had no right!”

“Sasuke,” Itachi cautioned, stepping closer. “Maybe you should-”

“You really want to know about them that badly, Naruto?” Sasuke growled, clenching his hands into fists, Shisui’s horrified face in his brain and the feel of his mother’s blood all over his skin. “You want to know how they died? How they _suffered_?”

Naruto’s eyes opened wider and he shrunk away. “I’m _sorry_ , Sasuke, really! You don’t- you’re right, it’s none of my business-”

“And yet you came in here anyway!” Sasuke retaliated, stepping forward, his body spiking with energy and anger. He’d thought Naruto respected his boundaries. He’d thought Naruto would wait until Sasuke was _ready_ to talk about these things. He was wrong.

“Sasuke,” Itachi said again, and the tone of his voice- his artificially calm doctor’s voice- notched Sasuke’s anger up another level. He wasn’t being unreasonable here. He was angry, and he had every right to be!

“Stay out of it!” Sasuke shouted, throwing a glare over his shoulder towards his brother. “He wants to know, so I’ll tell him! How we had to move to the city, how we were driving for hours and hours in the rain and then that truck slipped-”

“Sasuke, _no_ ,” Naruto interrupted, a pleading tone coming into his voice. “I was wrong, I shouldn’t have asked!”

“And how we were moving here for _me_ , so that I could see the right doctors, join the right kinds of programs! They died because of _me_. Is that what you wanted to know?!”

“Sasuke! You’re out of line,” Itachi warned. “Naruto-”

-but Naruto was _gone_ ; he backed further away until he was out of the room, and then he turned and headed for the door, soon followed by Itachi.

“Naruto, wait-” Itachi called out, pushing past Sasuke.

“No, I should leave,” Sasuke heard him stutter. “I shouldn’t have- I had no right to-”

“Damn straight,” Sasuke growled as he moved into the hall, his anger spiking again at Itachi’s reaction to Naruto. What, so they both cared about each other now, and had no interest in what _he_ wanted?! All it had taken was Sasuke being gone for _two seconds_ , and see what had happened!

“Naruto, you’re upset, you shouldn’t-”

“Stay out of it, Itachi!” Sasuke repeated, and the next thing he knew the front door was slamming shut and Naruto had disappeared. _Good_. He didn’t care. “How could you?! Why do you even still _have_ those photos?!”

“Of course I still have them,” Itachi said back at once, folding his arms across his chest. “Sasuke, Naruto was very upset. You should-”

“Don’t speak to me about Naruto!” Sasuke interrupted. “And you better not have any photos of _him_ -”

“-of course I don’t,” Itachi interrupted in turn. “And I’m serious, you can’t just-”

Sasuke turned and stalked away from him, overcome with fury and a black, burning sensation all through his body. He ran into his room and slammed the door behind him, the sound echoing through the apartment and reverberating through his mind. How _dare_ they!!

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...*cough*. Yes well. We, uh, we all saw this coming, right?? Yes, right.
> 
> P.s. If you need a distraction after that, I've started publishing a fic I wrote last year, called "Yuletide". It's um, well, it's a medieval!au with a crossdressing Sasuke. Cause- well, just cause. It's [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6560983/chapters/15010360) if you're interested!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, our last chapter was certainly....traumatic, wasn't it? It might be a while before we get to happy hand-holding and snuggling-on-the-couch!land, if we ever do! Thanks for all your amazing feedback as always, and I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! All the usual **trigger warnings** apply, plus just an extra warning for some dark themes.

There was a wall between them: that's how Naruto thought about it. Certain topics were off limits, locked safety away on the other side of the wall where they couldn't be reached. 

"Some things take time," Tsunade had said to him at their last session. "You said just the other week that the two of you had made a lot of progress. That's great, Naruto."

He'd just shrugged. It _was_ good, really. The things they'd talked about weren't exactly easy topics: Sasuke eating in front of people, how much touching was okay, sex. But in fact, all of those things were on the safe side of the wall. It felt like everything _else_ couldn't be mentioned. 

"What do you know about his illness? About his parents?" Tsunade had asked, looking curious. It wasn’t something they’d really discussed before.

What did Naruto know, really? Well, he knew that Sasuke had been sick for a long time- that's what Itachi had told him. Their parents had died only a few years ago. So, Sasuke had been sick even before they'd died. Had something happened to make him like that? Or…was it just one of those things? 

"I think maybe he had a difficult childhood," Naruto said, voicing his theory; the best one he’d been able to come up with. "And- it's not like I _need_ to know, that he _has_ to tell me. I just don't want to upset him by accident! Like, if I just said something wrong without knowing it..."

"Would you tell him about _your_ childhood, if he asked?" Tsunade asked. 

"Yes, of course!" Naruto answered at once. It probably wouldn't be easy, but he'd do it, if Sasuke wanted to know- if he was interested.

"Would you tell him about it if he _didn't_ ask?" Tsunade went on. "Are you willing to be the first person to talk about those things?"

...ah. That was a different matter. He hesitated; how would he even bring something like that up? "Maybe," he eventually said. 

"How long have the two of you been dating? You've gotten quite close, very quickly," Tsunade observed. 

Yes, that was true. But Naruto had meant it when he said that Sasuke didn't _have_ to tell him- he was more than willing to wait. In fact, wouldn’t it be best he could just stop thinking about the whole thing? Definitely. And yet that _wall_ : it was always there. He could always feel it, a third presence right there with them- right there _between_ them. And he couldn't help but fear what was on the other side. 

There didn't seem any way to get through it at the moment. And maybe that was okay- he and Sasuke were taking their time, they were being careful. And Naruto was happy with how things were going; really, he was!! Sasuke was _amazing_. 

"Can't you just give me a pill to make me forget about it all and just relax?" Naruto asked, 95% joking. 

"Anti-anxiety medication, you mean," Tsunade mused.

"I was kidding," Naruto quickly amended, not liking how serious Tsunade was looking at the moment. Trust her not to be able to take a joke about drugs.

"You do seem a little high-strung at the moment," Tsunade said, "but no, I don't think we're quite at that stage."

"We're _not_ ," Naruto stressed. …honestly. Everything was fine. He and Sasuke, they had things figured out, they had rules and boundaries. Just because Naruto had this little voice in his head telling him that he was going to screw everything up didn’t mean he _was_ going to screw everything up.

"Just try to take it easy, okay?" Tsunade went on. "Be gentle with yourself. With each other."

"Sure thing, boss," Naruto agreed with a bright grin, feeling better about it all. 

That had been a week ago. 

***

Naruto lay in bed, overcome with a black, numb sensation that left him frozen and completely unable to process what had just had happened. He pulled the blanket up over his head and curled into himself, eyes squeezed tightly shut and his body trembling ever so slightly. He was so shocked that there was nothing he could do other than just lay there, with scenes from what had happened flashing through his mind, their order all jumbled up and multi-coloured, and making him feel worse every second.

He didn’t know how long he’d been curled up there, but eventually he heard the doorbell ring and Sai’s footsteps approaching the front door. There was an exchange of voices and then before long, his bedroom door was creaking slowly open.

“Naruto?” came Ino’s voice as she slipped into his darkened room, feeling her way over to his bed. “Are you okay? Sai called me. He said- something happened with Sasuke?”

“Ino…?” Naruto asked, reaching over and flicking on his lamp, and then shrinking back from the sudden glaring light.

“Oh, sweetie,” Ino murmured, sitting down on the bed and reaching out to him. “You look awful. Come here…”

At Ino’s words, all that creeping numbness instantly wore away. Naruto moved over and collapsed into her lap, bursting into tears. She circled her arms around his shoulders and let him cry, stroking his back and patting his head, and murmuring soft, comforting words into his ear.

“There now, it’ll be okay…” she spoke, her voice low and gentle. “Whatever happened, we’ll work it out…”

“It _won’t_ be okay,” Naruto squeaked, his voice hiccupping and his limps shaking. “I ruined everything! He was so _angry_ , Ino!”

“Tell me what happened. From the beginning,” Ino said, still rubbing soothing circles into his shoulder.

“He-” another hiccup- “Itachi was- Itachi was telling me about Sasuke as a child, just, you know, a few things. Sasuke was all embarrassed and blushing, it was _cute_ , and I was so happy because Itachi and I were actually _talking_ , and…”

“Mm, and that’s what Sasuke wanted, wasn’t it? For you and Itachi to get along?” Ino asked, reaching into her pocket and pulling out some tissues, dabbing at his face.

“Yes!” Naruto replied. “It was _nice_ , so then I asked what Sasuke looked like when he was little. I said, he must have been so adorable, and Itachi said that he was- and Sasuke was in the bathroom then, so maybe if he’d still been there it wouldn’t have happened, but- but…”

“But?” Ino repeated, grabbing a new tissue as Naruto broke into a round of fresh tears.

Oh, no, it was too awful, he couldn’t say it all out loud! What an idiot Naruto had been, prying like that, asking about things he had no business knowing. He’d gotten caught up in the novelty of it all, of Itachi actually talking to him and smiling and-

-and Sasuke had looked all annoyed but that wasn’t so unusual for him, and yet shouldn’t Naruto have realised that something was wrong? Sasuke had needed to get up and leave the room. Sure, he’d said he was just going to the bathroom, but Naruto should have known, he shouldn’t have-

“Naruto?” Ino prompted. “Tell me. You’ll feel better. You always do.”

Naruto gripped her tighter, feeling like all the energy had just dissolved from his body leaving him helpless. “It’s really bad,” he squeezed out between sniffs, looking up at Ino’s blurry figure.

“That’s okay. We’ll figure it out,” Ino promised.

Then…then maybe he should tell her. “Itachi said he had some photos,” he cautiously began again. “So we went into his room and he took them out of a drawer. It was so nice of him, I was so happy to see the photos and Itachi was being nice to me for once!”

“That does sound like,” Ino murmured, petting his head.

Naruto nodded. “But then Sasuke came in and he- he was really, _really_ angry! I don’t think Itachi was meant to have those photos, because he…” Naruto’s voice cracked and he nestled closer to Ino’s stomach, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Oh, Sasuke had been _so_ angry, at _both_ of them- he’d been yelling, even louder and harder than the time he’d fought with Itachi. His entire face changed; it was like he became a completely different person. His whole body had tensed up with rage, and those dark, dangerous eyes of his were darker and fiercer than Naruto had ever imagined they could be.

“What was he angry about, Naruto?” Ino prompted, running her hand through his hair. “Tell me.”

Indeed, what _had_ he been angry about? Whatever it was, it had obviously triggered something deep inside of him; something had just _snapped_.

“He said- he said that Itachi had no right to show me those photos, and I had no right to be looking at them, or to be asking about his family. And I guess it brought up all kinds of bad memories because then he was talking about how his family all _died._ It was horrible!”

“Oh, Naruto,” Ino soothed. “It _sounds_ horrible. I’m so sorry he was so angry. What did he say about them? His family?”

“They died in a car accident,” Naruto managed to say, thinking back to Sasuke’s horrifying words. It had been raining, he’d said, and there was a truck. “And I think- it was his parents, and his cousin too, they all died. He said that they were moving to the city, because he- because Sasuke…”

…because Sasuke needed _help_ , he needed the specialist doctors and programs in the city. He was sick, even before his family had died, and that must have made it so much worse. They’d been in a car accident because of _him_ , that’s what he’d said.

“He blames himself for them dying, Ino! He said that they wouldn’t even have been in that car if it wasn’t for him, if he wasn’t _sick_. He was so upset. I’ve never seen him like that! I should _never_ have asked questions like that, about when he was little…”

“You couldn’t have known,” Ino said at once. “Everyone asks those sorts of questions to get to know someone new! You’ve been dating for a while, so of course you were asking about his childhood. And it was a good way to start a conversation with his brother.”

“That’s what I thought! But it all went really, really wrong,” Naruto cried. “I was so happy because _Itachi_ seemed happy- and then everything changed so fast. It _hurt_ , Ino! And I think I really hurt him, too. I never wanted to do that!”

“It must have been very hard,” she soothed. “And such a shock. But Naruto, everyone fights, you know that right? This was just your first fight, okay?”

“No, it’s more than that,” Naruto refuted, a feeling of despair coming over him. “He _hated_ me for being there with Itachi. He was so angry. I’ve ruined everything!”

“You can’t think like that,” Ino said, sliding out from under him and manoeuvring him back into bed. She climbed under the blankets beside him and switched off the lamp. “You just need to rest and recover from the shock. Things will look different in the morning.”

“I feel _awful_ ,” Naruto said, curling up beside her, huddling down in the blankets.

“Just try to rest. Go to sleep if you can. I’ll stay here with you, all night, for as long as you need. Okay?”

“Promise?” Naruto whimpered, clinging to her tighter.

“Promise,” Ino said gravely, stroking his forehead. “Go to sleep.”

“…okay,” Naruto said quietly, squeezing his eyes shut. But there was no way he could fall asleep like this. Not a chance in hell.

***

But Naruto _did_ sleep; or at least, he drifted in and out of something that resembled sleep, letting Ino’s warm presence comfort and sooth him. He tried to make his mind blank and empty, but he couldn’t. Sasuke’s words echoed through his mind, and the image of his sad, furious face was stuck in front of his eyes, even when they were closed.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed there like that. He thought that Ino fell asleep for a while too. They spoke some more; they talked about Sasuke, about how awful it must be for him to live with those memories and that undeserved feeling of guilt. Naruto felt like an idiot. Sasuke wasn’t like him. He’d grown up with his family all around him, and they’d been wrenched away. Naruto should have been more careful. He should _never_ have pushed in like that.

Sometime later there was another noise at the door, and Naruto blinked and gazed out into the dark room. He heard Sai’s footsteps again and more voices, and wondered what time it was. Ino shifted in the bed next to him and sat up, standing and shuffling towards the door.

“I’ll go see what’s happening,” she murmured, sneaking through the door and closing it behind her.

And then there were more voices, becoming louder this time. Abruptly he realised that one of them was Sasuke’s, and he shot up and out of bed. Sasuke! He was _here_ , in Naruto’s apartment!

He opened the door and froze when the small crowd of people in front of his room all turned and looked at him. Sai was still standing by the front door, and Itachi was there too. There was Sasuke talking with Ino, both of them looking unhappy- miserable. He even saw Sakura peering her head over the top of the couch.

He shrunk back slightly into the darkness of his room. “Sasuke?” he asked, cautiously. “What are you doing here?”

Sasuke glanced back at Itachi, and then turned to Naruto. “Can we talk?” he asked, his voice harsh and devoid of any emotion.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Ino said, re-positioning herself firmly between the two of them. “This should wait until tomorrow.”

“With all due respect,” Itachi said from the door. “Sasuke has things he needs to say that can’t wait.”

 _Oh god,_ Naruto thought, his stomach sinking. Well, that was that. Sasuke was here to break up with him, and Itachi was here to make sure he went through with it. There was no point in delaying something like _that_. If it was going to happen, they might as well get it over and done with.

“It’s okay, Ino,” Naruto said, sliding further back into his room. “Let’s…let’s talk in here, okay Sasuke?”

“Naruto, I’m going to be right outside,” Ino said, shooting Sasuke a look before turning to Naruto. “I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”

“Okay,” Naruto said with a nod, indicating for Sasuke to come in. He moved over to his bedside table and switched on the lamp, stiffening when he heard Sasuke come into the room and close the door. He turned around, taking a deep breath and trying not to shake. “…hi, Sasuke,” he squeezed out.

Sasuke nodded. “…hi,” he said back. “Um, I…well, I…”

 _Yeah, I know_ , Naruto said to himself, looking down at the floor. _You think we should break up. You came to tell me it’s over_. Naruto cursed himself for his actions for the millionth time that night. He’d had a good thing going here. _Finally,_ he’d had something good for himself- and he’d ruined it.

“I’m so sorry, Sasuke,” Naruto said to the floor, his voice choked with emotion, struggling to hold back tears. “Everything you said was right. I shouldn’t have asked those questions. I shouldn’t have been in Itachi’s room. I was wrong, okay? So I understand. Of course you were angry. It was my fault,” he added, trembling and falling onto the side of the bed, holding his head in his hands.

“…Naruto…” Sasuke said, his voice so low that Naruto could barely hear him. “You…you didn’t…you weren’t _wrong_ , exactly…”

Naruto risked a glance, and saw Sasuke still standing by the door, his hands clenched into fists, his eyes dark and distant. He seemed so far away. “I _was_ wrong,” Naruto said again. “And I’m sorry-”

“No,” Sasuke interrupted, his voice a little louder this time. “No, _I’m_ sorry. Itachi said- he made us come here, because, I upset you, and that’s not okay. Because-”

Itachi had made him come here? What did he mean? “Sasuke-”

“I need to say some things,” Sasuke said. “A lot of things. And I don’t want to. But Itachi said, we’re dating now, you’re my- my boyfriend, and I can’t just scream at you like that and get mad just cause you- so, I…”

Naruto felt some of the numbness return. He stared over at Sasuke, a strange, trance-like feeling coming over him. Itachi had made Sasuke come here, Itachi had told Sasuke that he was wrong. But…Itachi _hated_ him. Why would he do that? And Sasuke…what kinds of things did he need to say?

“…go ahead then,” Naruto said, and it seemed to him that his words came from somewhere very far away. “I’ll…I’ll just listen, okay? You can sit down, if you like, and I’ll sit all the way over here, alright?” he added, moving across the bed until he was almost falling off the other side.

Sasuke moved forward cautiously, sitting down on the edge of the mattress, leaving as much space between them as was physically possible. “I don’t know where to start,” he said. “I…everything I said tonight was true. About the car accident, when we were moving to the city. And I didn’t even _want_ to move, I wanted to stay where we were, but my father made us because I was…”

 _Sick,_ Naruto thought, biting his lip. “You don’t need to tell me this, Sasuke,” he said in a low voice. “Really, you don’t have to talk about it. What you said back then was right- it’s none of my business.”

Sasuke glanced at him briefly and then looked away, fixing his eyes on the wall and squaring his shoulders. “I _don’t_ talk about it- I hardly ever do,” he murmured back. “I wish I could just forget the whole thing, but I can’t. It’s- it’s not like I don’t want you to know, I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

Naruto frowned. Was that really what it was- that Sasuke didn’t know how to tell him? But of course, those sorts of conversations- those sorts of revelations- could never be easy or simple, no matter how they happened. “Maybe if I’d brought it up,” Naruto mused. “Or- all those times we talked about boundaries. We could have…”

“Maybe,” Sasuke went on, with another quick glance in his direction. Naruto froze, alarmed to see his dark eyes shining with unshed tears.

“Sasuke…”

“I’m going to keep talking,” he interrupted, turning away. “Since this has all happened anyway. On that day, you know, everything went wrong- I’d been fighting with my father. I was really angry at him, so my mother was sitting in between us, and Itachi was driving- Shisui was next to him in the passenger’s seat,” Sasuke continued, talking faster now.

“Your cousin,” Naruto quietly confirmed. The one he’d seen in the photo with Sasuke and Itachi when they were children.

“…right,” Sasuke said. “He’d already moved to the city- he went to school there. So we were moving into his place until we found our own. And- and anyway, there was this truck in front of us, it was- it was carrying building supplies, I suppose, metal beams and stuff, and-”

Sasuke’s voice snapped and Naruto couldn’t help it; in a flash he’d moved to the centre of the bed and taken Sasuke’s hand in his. Sasuke looked at him and their eyes met, both miserable, both in pain, and Sasuke squeezed his hand tight.

“I’m here,” Naruto murmured. “You…you can stop, if you like…”

Sasuke shook his head and looked away, but he didn’t let go of Naruto’s hand. “The road was slippery, and up ahead there was a crash, and the truck crashed too. The car slammed into it, all this metal went flying- there was so much noise. It even hit me, see? And Itachi, too,” Sasuke said, leaning forward ever so slightly and pulling his hair off his face.

Yes, Naruto had seen the scar before, hidden by his dark hair. He’d wondered how Sasuke had gotten it; but he wasn’t the kind of person who’d ever ask how someone got their scars. No, he would never have asked.

“Sasuke…”

“-well, we survived, obviously, me and Itachi. My mother and Shisui…I think, you know, they probably didn’t feel anything, it was too fast. The metal poles smashed right through the windows, and the front of the car was all crushed anyway. Itachi broke a leg. Father died the next day. They kept us in hospital too, because- shock, they said, but I don’t even really…I didn’t _remember_ it, not for days. I- Naruto, I-” and there his voice cracked again, and his carefully-composed face crumbled as despair took him.

Something inside of Naruto’s mind snapped, white spots swirling in front of his eyes and jolts of pain running up and down his spine. He moved off the bed and around to the other side, kneeling down in front of Sasuke and pulling the smaller boy onto his shoulders. Sasuke collapsed against him, sobs wracking his tiny frame.

“Sasuke, I’m so sorry,” Naruto said mournfully, burying his face in Sasuke’s hair, holding him close, running a hand down his back as Sasuke cried against his shoulder. “I’m so sorry…”

Naruto just held him, Sasuke’s full weight falling against his shoulder, images of blood and pain in his mind. But he tried to push all that aside and just hold him as he cried, helpless and so small and desperate. _I’m here, Sasuke_ , Naruto thought to himself; _I’ll be here for as long as you need me._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to all my amazing readers and supporters! I couldn't do it without you~~~!
> 
> p.s. I've released two short one-shots recently: check 'em out if you're interested! [Stay With Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6692902) & [Autumn::Spring ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6763777).


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s this, an update?! WOW!!
> 
> …ehehe, well, I’ve finally finished with uni so I am off hiatus!! Only…it seems that I’ve forgotten how to write, ahaha. I did my best with this chapter, and hopefully the writing isn’t TOO different than the last one?? Well, we shall see! 
> 
> I’m committed to completing this fic by the end of the year. I’m not sure how many more chapters that will be- I’m working on my remaining chapter outlines now!! A HUGE thank you to all my regular readers (and welcome to the new ones!); thank you for your patience during my hiatus ^_^.

Somehow they ended up under the blankets, with Sasuke clinging to Naruto’s side the same way that Naruto had been clinging to Ino only an hour ago. Every now and then Sasuke broke into a fresh round of tears- furious, violent tears that send shudders all through his thin, light body. Naruto held him close with his heart aching in sympathy and his head burning with the reality of what he’d been told.

“It’s okay,” he murmured softly as Sasuke sobbed in his arms. “I’m right here. Cry as much as you like.”

“I don’t _cry_ ,” Sasuke said, his voice worn and scratched yet full of contempt. “I _don’t_!”

“It’s fine,” Naruto said back, trying to keep his voice light and cheery. “ _I_ cry all the time! You should have seen me before you came over tonight.” Hell, he was practically crying _now_ \- he couldn’t help it. How could he, with Sasuke so upset in front of him?

“Well _I_ don’t!” Sasuke retorted, before collapsing against him with another violent sob and shudder.

Naruto forced himself to relax back against the pillows, running a hand through Sasuke’s hair. A part of him was still in shock. It had been a long night- had all this really happened in one night? He’d left Sasuke’s apartment in so much pain, and he’d cried in Ino’s arms, convinced he’d ruined everything. He’d been even _more_ convinced, of course, when Sasuke had shown up.

To have Sasuke tell him all those things, to let Naruto hold him…no, Naruto would never have expected it.

“Sasuke, I thought you were coming here to break up with me,” Naruto said, after silence had fallen on the room again. “I thought…you were so angry…”

“I _was_ so angry!” Sasuke said back, his voice muffled, face still pressed into Naruto’s t-shirt and his head half-buried under the sheets. “Itachi and I _screamed_ at each other. He said I was wrong, that I- that you were _really_ upset, that I had to apologise-”

“He seriously _forced_ you to come here?!” Naruto exclaimed, completely in disbelief. No, it wasn’t possible.

“He _did_ ,” Sasuke hissed. “He practically hauled me to the car! But we sat there and yelled at each other some more before we- he said I should have told you all that stuff before, that it shouldn’t have come out in a fight the way it did. He…I was so _mad_ at him…”

“I’m not surprised. You didn’t have to tell me, Sas, really. I- I won’t say I’m _happy_ that you did, that sounds awful, because- but, I’m not _unhappy_. I really, _really_ thought you were going to break up with me, so-”

“I didn’t know what I was going to say,” Sasuke took over. “I just- Itachi said I had to say sorry to you, and then we could go home if I wanted, but I had to say that at least. And I didn’t actually- but, when I saw you, and you really _were_ so upset, like he said you were… I… I _was_ wrong, Naruto. I shouldn’t have gotten mad. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I don’t know what came over me.”

Naruto fell silent at that. Having someone apologise to him- having _Sasuke_ apologise to him- just felt wrong. Especially over something that had clearly been his own fault. But there was no point bringing that up again- not when it seemed like the worst of their fight might just be over.

Sasuke made a small, miserable noise and pushed himself off of Naruto’s chest, settling instead by his side. He tugged the blankets tightly around his shoulders and pressed his face into the mattress, his eyes squeezed shut.

“What can I do to help?” Naruto asked after another lengthy silence. Sasuke was practically vibrating with tension and misery by his side. “Do you want me to get Itachi? Take you home…?”

“Just switch my brain off,” Sasuke muttered in his harsh, unhappy voice. “I- I don’t want to think about it all anymore…”

Naruto frowned, and bit his lip. Switch his brain off, hmm? Well, that was a feeling he definitely understood. “Oh!” he suddenly said. “I know- I’ll read to you, okay? Like you do for me?”

“Read?” Sasuke said doubtfully, angling his face upwards to stare at him for a moment. Even in the shadowy room Naruto could see his eyes and cheeks were blotched, puffy, and red.

“Yes,” Naruto said with an entirely fake confidence. He reached under his pillows, careful to not jostle Sasuke too much. “I’ve been reading this one that you leant me. I’ll start from the beginning!”

Sasuke squinted in the dim light. “…okay,” he said, still just as doubtful.

Naruto forced a smile, and then opened the book and angled its pages to the light coming from his lamp. “Alright. I’m not as good as you, but I’ll do my best,” he said, with another smile.

“…okay,” Sasuke said again, resting his head down into the nest of sheets he’d made and closing his eyes once more. “…thanks.”

***

Naruto read, keeping his voice as steady and soothing as he could. Reading out-loud wasn’t something he’d really done before, but Sasuke wasn’t complaining- wasn’t saying anything, actually, but at least he seemed a little calmer. The tension that Naruto could feel seeping from his body seemed to ease as time slowly went by.

Sometime later Naruto realised that Sasuke was asleep- fast asleep, in fact, a deadweight tucked up against his side. He gently manoeuvred Sasuke over to the side of the bed to his own set of pillows. “Sasuke?” Naruto spoke gently, and when Sasuke showed no signs of waking- he didn’t move at _all_ \- Naruto climbed out of bed, set his book aside, and left the room.

He narrowed his eyes against the sudden bright lights of the kitchen, looking around and squinting. Where had everyone gone…? Ino and Sai had been here, and he was sure that Sakura had been in the lounge room. He turned towards the couch. With a start, he saw Itachi sitting there, phone in hand. Shit- he was still _here_?!

“Um, hi,” Naruto squeaked, stumbling further back into the kitchen, completely unsure of what to say or do in a situation like this. “Uh, Sasuke fell asleep, and…”

Itachi nodded, seeming unfazed to come face-to-face with Naruto in the middle of the night. “Of course he did. Episodes such as this leave him exhausted. He probably won’t wake now until morning.”

Naruto blinked. “Episodes…?” he asked. Was _that_ what that was?

“Your roommate and friends are in there,” Itachi went on, pointing to the room next to Naruto’s- Sai’s bedroom. “I was invited to stay as well, but I’ll leave now.” He stood and moved towards Naruto, who instinctively moved even further away from the terrifying man.

“Uh, but what about Sasuke?!” Naruto asked. Would he take Sasuke with him?

“Sasuke will stay here. I’ll pick him up in the morning.”

“Stay _here_?!” Naruto squeaked. What, in Naruto’s bed?!

Itachi reached into his bag and passed Naruto a small plastic box. “Make sure he takes his medication in the morning. I carry a spare set with me. There’s some paracetamol in there also. He’ll have a bad headache.” Itachi headed for the door, leaving Naruto stunned in his wake.

“But- but he’s just gonna _stay_ here?! I thought- I thought you didn’t trust me!”

“‘Trust’ has nothing to do with it,” Itachi said to that with a shrug. “Sasuke needs to sleep. I thought he’d just shout an apology at you and we’d leave. Yet evidently, you talked.”

“We- we did,” Naruto confirmed. “He told me things, about- and, well, then he- he cried. He was really upset.” Naruto didn’t know why he was telling Itachi all of these things; he just couldn’t help it, not with Itachi staring at him like that.

Itachi nodded. He’d already reached the front door and was heading out of the apartment. “Good, then. I’ll see you in the morning.” And then he was gone.

‘Stunned’ didn’t even begin to cover how Naruto was feeling at the moment. He glanced down at his hand, at the small plastic box he held. Sasuke’s medication. Sasuke was asleep in his bed. Maybe…maybe Naruto should sleep on the couch? But what if Sasuke woke up, and got confused?

Well, maybe it would be okay. Naruto had a king bed, so he could leave plenty of space between them. He sighed. He doubted he’d be getting any sleep tonight anyway.

He took a bottle of water from the fridge and returned to his room. Sasuke had fallen asleep on Naruto’s side of the bed. He placed the bottle of water and box of pills next to him on the bedside table, and took his own pills and phone out of the drawer. Then he switched off the lamp, and used the light from his phone to move over to the other side of the bed.

He lay down gingerly, leaving a proper space between the two of them. Through the darkness he gazed over at Sasuke’s sleeping form. He could hear Sasuke breathing- heavy, irregular; but at least he wasn’t crying anymore.

Naruto closed his eyes, and tried to sleep.

***

As he suspected, he barely got any sleep that night. He told himself to just ignore Sasuke on the other side of the bed- he wasn’t even moving, and his breathing wasn’t that loud, so Naruto should just pretend that he was alone, right?! But alas, Sasuke’s presence was something he’d never been able to ignore. He finally passed out from sheer exhaustion at about 4 am, but was wide awake again by seven.

He sighed, and peered over at Sasuke through the morning light peeking through the curtains. He was still fast asleep and buried under the blankets, with only the top of his head visible. Naruto shivered, sitting up and propping himself against the pillows. At least Sasuke was managing to sleep okay. As far as Naruto knew, he hadn’t moved or woken since he’d fallen asleep while Naruto had been reading. _He must have really been exhausted,_ Naruto thought to himself.

And suddenly Naruto remembered another time, a time so long ago- months? _Years_ , it seemed- that he’d sat and watched Sasuke sleep, with this storm of feelings raging around inside of him.

Only…only now, the storm was larger and more ferocious than he could have ever imagined.

Naruto bit his lip to keep from reaching his hand out. _Don’t go around touching unconscious people, idiot!_ he scolded himself harshly. Even…even if it’s your _boyfriend_.

Well, they were boyfriends yesterday; were they still now? _Should_ they still be now? Gazing down at Sasuke’s huddled, sleeping figure, Naruto was filled with the same urges as he was back then: protect. Possess. Cherish. Keep him _safe_.

Naruto didn’t feel like he’d been doing such a good job of that lately. Sasuke had been tired and stressed. Naruto had barged into his life and disrupted his orderly, peaceful routine, and he knew it had been challenging. Didn’t Sasuke tell him outright about his personal boundaries? About how he needed space, and time to be alone? Yet even when Naruto did his best, he still felt like he was pushing into somewhere he didn’t belong.

Naruto let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand over his tired eyes. He shouldn’t be thinking about all this now, not after the night he’d had. He should just…just take it easy. Maybe things weren’t as bad as he thought they were?

_Or maybe, they’re **worse**._

The sleeping figure next to him made a small noise and shifted under the sheets. Naruto froze; _he’s waking up!_ Ah, no, he wasn’t; he was just shifting around in his nest.

A slender hand slipped out from under the blankets to rest by his side. Naruto gazed down at it. Such tiny wrists. Yes, that’s what he’d thought, all that time ago. Were they still so tiny? Was Sasuke healthier now? Was he better off, or was he getting worse, with Naruto around?

 _You give yourself too much credit,_ Naruto told himself harshly. _You really think you’re such an important part of his life?_

Well, lying around here wasn’t doing him any good- and he didn’t want to be caught _staring_ when Sasuke did wake up. So he got out of bed, collected his phone, and headed to the lounge room.

***

When Naruto left his room he found the apartment completely empty. “Sai?” he called out. “Ino…? Sakura?” They’d all been here last night, he was sure of it. He frowned.

He moved into the kitchen and found a note on the table, in Ino’s writing. _I’m taking Sakura home,_ it read. _I’ll be back to check on you later. You’ll probably still be sleeping. Your roommate went to work. These ‘supplies’ on the table are from him- I tried to explain that some of it wouldn’t be necessary. I’ll see you soon._

Naruto put down the note and turned to examine the “supplies”. A new toothbrush- good, Sasuke would appreciate that- and a new packet of condoms. Naruto rolled his eyes and bit back a grin. Just what did Sai thing would be happening between him and Sasuke? He quickly took the box and stashed it in a cupboard. There was no need for a certain someone to see _that_ and get the wrong idea! Then he grabbed the toothbrush and a fresh bottle of water, and snuck back into his room to place them next to the bed.

He paused and glanced down at Sasuke in his blanket-nest for just one brief moment before retreating back to the lounge. No, staying there and staring was a _bad_ idea.

He spent the next hour messing around on his phone. He texted Ino, asking her to steer clear of the apartment today- he didn’t know when Sasuke would wake up, or what would happen once he did. Then he just sat, and waited, and finally heard movement from his bedroom.

Naruto jumped up and returned to his room, where he found Sasuke awake and sitting on the side of the bed staring over at the blank walls. His eyes were narrowed, and he seemed confused.

“Sasuke,” Naruto called from the door, and Sasuke whirled his head around to look at him. “Um…hi! Ah, I mean, good morning…”

Sasuke blinked slowly, looking around the room and back down at the bed. “Naruto,” he said, his voice scratched and weak. “I fell asleep?”

“Completely asleep,” Naruto confirmed, taking a cautious step closer to the bed. “You were exhausted, I guess!”

Sasuke turned and looked over at the rumpled sheets on the other side of the bed. “And you slept here too?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Naruto answered, colouring slightly. “With, you know, a very big gap between us! And Itachi didn’t seem to mind you sleeping here, so…”

Sasuke coloured too, then held a hand to his head and winced.

“Sas?” Naruto asked, alarmed. “Are you okay?”

“…head hurts,” Sasuke groaned. “What- what time is it? Where’s my phone?”

Naruto raced to Sasuke’s side, picking up the bottle of water and the little box of pills. “Itachi left some painkillers for you! Here, drink some water too. Your phone’s just there on the table. And it’s just before nine. Good thing it’s the weekend!”

Sasuke took the water and pills from Naruto in a hurry, opening them both quickly and conspicuously avoiding his eyes. Two painkillers, and two other pills- Sasuke swallowed them fast, almost turning his body away from Naruto as he did so.

Naruto shifted awkwardly. Yeah…pills. Yet another thing they’d never really talked about. Well, they didn’t really need to talk about it _now_ , either. He picked up Sasuke’s phone and placed it on the mattress beside Sasuke.

Sasuke glanced down at it. “There’s a message from my brother. He says he’ll come and get me once I’m awake.”

“Right. And Sai found you a new toothbrush,” Naruto said, moving forward again and handing him the unopened packet. “You could take a shower if you want. I could get you some clothes. I guess they’ll be a little big, but-”

“Naruto,” Sasuke interrupted, suddenly glancing up at him and looking exhausted. “Could I- could I have a little bit of-”

Ah, right. “Oh, some alone time? Of course!” he hurriedly said, retreating towards the door. “The bathroom’s right there- well, you already know that- and I’ll just be outside!”

“…thank you,” Sasuke said, his voice weak and fatigued. He sat there, hunched on the bed, unmoving until Naruto closed the door from the other side.

***

It was another half an hour before Sasuke finally came out of Naruto’s room. Naruto shoved his phone aside and sat up straight, staring over at him anxiously.

“Sasuke!” he called. “Are you alright-”

“I’m fine,” Sasuke said back, and his voice sounded much steadier now. He’d washed his face, it seemed, and straightened his hair- and still had Naruto’s blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “Uh- it’s a little cold, so-”

“Right, it’s almost winter, after all,” Naruto quickly said to that, shifting over and making more room for Sasuke on the couch. When Sasuke sat, Naruto handed over the orange blanket he kept on the back of the couch- Sasuke’s blanket, as he thought of it.

Sasuke smiled slightly at that, taking the overly-fluffy thing and spreading it over his lap. “…thanks,” he said. And then his smile faded, as an awkward tension settled on the room once more.

“It feels a little strange to ask if you slept alright,” Naruto said, his voice tight and strained. He gave a little laugh, under his breath.

“…yeah,” Sasuke responded, leaning back on the couch cushions. “I did, though, for all that. I…don’t remember anything after you started reading, so I guess I really did sleep.”

“That’s good,” Naruto commented.

“Thank you for the toothbrush,” Sasuke added.

“Sai’s work,” Naruto quickly admitted. “He’s always so prepared!”

Sasuke nodded, with that small smile playing on his lips again for another moment before disappearing. “…very thoughtful of him. I’ll have to thank him.”

 _Hopefully he **doesn’t**_ , Naruto thought to himself with a wince. Sai would probably go right on and ask if they’d gotten any use out of the condoms, as well.

“I interrupted things with Ino last night,” Sasuke said, suddenly sitting up straight and staring right over at him. “I’m sorry. Really.”

Naruto blinked. “Ah- ahh, no, that’s-” That wasn’t anything to worry about. After all, how would Naruto be feeling right now if Sasuke _hadn’t_ come over last night? He’d be miserable, or hysterical, or both- and out of his mind with worry about how Sasuke was handling things. At least this way, he had Sasuke in front of him, and could see for himself that he was more or less okay. …more or less. “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he quickly added.

“No, there is,” Sasuke went on. “ _All_ of last night. The way I- I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. _Really_ ,” he stressed, clutching the blanket tight around his shoulders and looking beyond anxious.

 _Oh, Sas_ , Naruto thought to himself. “But, Sasuke, I think- I still think I shouldn’t have asked Itachi about when you were a child. Or, he shouldn’t have shown me the photos. Or I shouldn’t have- _really_ , I think I was out of line!”

“ _I_ was out of line. Itachi was right. I can’t speak to you that way,” Sasuke went on. “But I didn’t mean to tell you all that stuff last night when I came over, though. It just kind-of came out.”

“Do you regret it?” Naruto asked, his heartbeat suddenly tripling inside his chest.

“Well. Maybe. But, I guess now I don’t have to tell you _again_ ,” Sasuke said, smiling slightly to himself. Seeing that, Naruto let himself relax just a little. “You really thought I was coming here to break up with you?”

“Yes,” Naruto said at once. “I still think that. You could end it at any time.”

“Hmm,” Sasuke murmured, gazing down at the orange blanket and fiddling with it with his fingers. “What a waste that would be. There aren’t many people around who would understand what we’ve both been through,” he added.

Naruto felt his stomach clench and he became light-headed. “No, I guess not,” Naruto said hesitantly. _Did_ he understand what Sasuke had been through? Their situations were only comparable on the surface. But Naruto understood loss, and he understood _pain_ ; yes, he could say that with confidence. Maybe that was what Sasuke meant.

“I don’t want you to break up with me,” Naruto spoke quietly. “But I’ve never done this before. I’m sure I’ll screw it all up.”

“I think _I’m_ more likely to screw it all up,” Sasuke said to that. “Doesn’t last night prove it? It- it was an overreaction, if nothing else.”

Naruto shook his head. “This- this relationship stuff is _hard_ , Sasuke. But I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt. If…if there’s more chance of you getting hurt when you’re with me- I want what’s best for you, you see?”

Sasuke gazed back at him, and for a few moments silence fell on the room.

“I’m going to get Itachi to pick me up. I’m still not feeling well, so I’m going to spend the day alone, okay?” he said, quickly typing something into his phone. “But then we’ll talk tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. It’s not easy, you’re right. But we’ll keep at it, won’t we?”

“If you let me, Sasuke,” Naruto said to that. “I’ll do my best.” And then he tensed, as Sasuke slid across the couch and reached out to take his hands.

“I will, too,” Sasuke said, still holding onto his hands- lightly, but still _touching_. “I’ll do better than yesterday, if I can. So, it’s a deal?” Sasuke murmured, moving closer again.

Naruto had almost stopped breathing by this stage, the feel of Sasuke’s skin against him like a searing burn.  “Deal,” Naruto squeaked out. “We’ll- try!”

Sasuke nodded, and leaned back against the couch- but didn’t let go of his hands. They sat in silence, Naruto as stiff and still as a statue, hyper-aware of Sasuke’s fingers threaded through his. So, they were…okay? Things were going to be okay?

“I’m really sorry we thought,” Naruto murmured. “I wish it hadn’t happened. I wish we could go back in time…”

“I suppose so,” Sasuke replied. “Though, then I’d still be worrying about when I should tell you. If I should tell you. Or even….how to bring something like that up in the first place…”

Naruto bit his lip. Yes, that was true. Last night had smashed down a massive section of that wall- and they couldn’t put it back up now. Maybe that was for the best- but there was still a lot of things right there on the other side. Things that neither of them wanted to talk about. After the trauma of last night, Naruto was sure he would be huddling on the safe side of the broken wall for a long time.

He sighed, and tried to relax. It was almost working- and then there was a knock at the door. “Shit- that’s Itachi!” he exclaimed, snatching his hands away from Sasuke just from instinct.

Sasuke gave him a wry look. “He can’t see you from the other side of the door, idiot,” he said. “He must have driven right over here.” He stood and folded his orange blanket tidily, and held the other one out to Naruto.

Naruto stood as well, and trailed after Sasuke towards the door. “So…we’ll talk tomorrow?” he asked, anxious.

“Yes,” Sasuke said with a nod. “I’ll call you. Um, thanks for…last night,” he added.

“Of course,” Naruto said quickly back. He suddenly wanted so badly to hug him, but there was no way he could bring himself to do it. He fidgeted, keeping well back from the door.

“…well. Tomorrow, then,” Sasuke said, with a small wave. Then he opened the door, and he was gone.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …what, no HUG?? What kind of make-up was that? *grumbles* come on, you guys……give the people what they want!! (Well, at least they DID make up, bwahaha. I WAS considering making this fight a LOT worse...)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your lovely comments on the last chapter!! It was a very nice return to writing :).
> 
> Something I’ve been meaning to mention for AGES: I have no idea where this is set. I always write things as if they’re happening in Australia, even if it doesn’t really make sense! At the moment it’s about June, and it’s getting colder. The school year goes from January to December, and the boys are in their second (of four) terms. As for their school uniform…this is a small town, so it’s probably just an assigned shirt, with jeans or whatever. Ahahaha, I hope that makes sense…!
> 
> I have decided that this fic will have about 21 or 22 chapters- so, actually, there’s not that many more chapters to go! On the upside, it means I will DEFINITELY publish all the chapters by the end of the year!

Sasuke sighed and leaned heavily against the tree. He was in his usual lunch spot- a quiet, peaceful place up on the hills behind the school. He’d been trying to read, but just couldn’t concentrate. Eventually he gave up, and put his book aside with a scowl. Apparently, his mind wanted to think about other things.

After his fight with Naruto, Sasuke had decided- rather sensibly, he thought- that he wasn’t going to fall apart. The fight had been upsetting, yes, but it was _over_ , and everything was going to be okay. He wasn’t going to spend days in bed sulking. He wasn’t going to be bratty with Itachi. He wasn’t going to stop eating.

So far, everything was going according to plan. He was getting up each morning, eating breakfast, and going to school or uni. He was paying attention in class and doing all his homework. He spoke to his friends, and had tutoring sessions with Ino- and these were _much_ less awkward than he’d expected. He had his usual appointment with his councillor, and was able to calmly discuss what had happened, and why.

Yes, everything seemed to be going okay; he seemed to be fine. Sasuke was very pleased with himself.

Now…if only _Naruto_ seemed to be fine.

Sasuke sighed again and squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. It had been more than a week now. And sure, they still texted each morning and night, and after school on Wednesday they’d hung out and played video games. Naruto still smiled and laughed. On the surface, everything seemed fine. And yet, Naruto felt so- distant. Tense. His usual, sun-shiny smiles didn’t seem _real_.

But maybe it was just a matter of time. If things were a little tense between the two of them at the moment, that was to be expected, wasn’t it? Maybe it would just take a little longer to get back to normal.

It wouldn’t take _too_ much longer, would it? _Please, don’t let it take too much longer_ , Sasuke thought to himself.

“Sasuke?” came a sudden voice, and Sasuke jumped and opened his eyes, startled to find that Naruto himself had managed to sneak up on him. He glanced up, horrified to be caught unware; after all, he chose this spot because he could see so much of the school without being seen himself.

“Naruto,” he stammered, trying to still his rapidly-beating heart.

“Were you sleeping?” Naruto asked with a frown, looking down at him with a concerned expression.

“No, of course not!” Sasuke quickly refuted, waving off his concern. “Did you want to join me?”

Naruto nodded, and sat down beside the tree. Sasuke couldn’t help but notice that the blonde left a much bigger distance between them than usual. He tried to brush that off. “Have you been sleeping okay?” Naruto went on, still seeming concerned.

“Better than you, by the look of it,” Sasuke replied, glancing at the dark shadows under Naruto’s eyes and his pale face. He hadn’t looked this unhealthy since their exam week. It was…worrying.

“…ah, well, maybe I haven’t been sleeping all that great,” Naruto said sheepishly, shifting uneasily on the grass. “But I’ll be fine.”

“And I will too,” Sasuke said to that.

Naruto nodded again, and his cheeks reddened slightly. “I, uh, wanted to come and eat lunch with you, but I thought- well, maybe you wanted some alone time, so I- and then Ino teased me and said I was being a wimp, and Sakura said that- um, she said…”

Sasuke almost smiled at Naruto’s flustered state. It was just like when they first started dating. It would have been cute, if Sasuke didn’t know the reason behind it. Maybe their fight really _had_ been a significant step backwards.

“You’re always welcome. I’m glad you came.”

Naruto’s eyes widened. “You are?”

“Of course,” Sasuke said. “You know I’d come eat with you and Ino, except that I- I mean, maybe one day I could, but-”

“No, it’s okay, I get it!” Naruto quickly interrupted. “Me and Ino have always eaten in the cafeteria, but I like your spot too!”

 _He’s so tense_ , Sasuke thought, staring over at Naruto’s taut shoulders and clenched hands. He wanted to reach out to him, but… _Wow, you’re a wimp too._

“Well, you’re always welcome, like I said.”

Naruto nodded, and then went to speak- but closed his mouth again, and gazed down at the grass.

“What is it?” Sasuke prompted.

“Uh,” Naruto mumbled. “I- damn, this is usually something I’d talk to you about, but…”

“It’s okay, really,” Sasuke said, trying to sound comforting and warm- not that he really knew how to do that. “Things are weird right now, I know, but we’ll get back to normal.”

Naruto glanced up at him quickly, and then just as quickly turned away again. “It’s not important. It’s just that I have my appointment with my councillor after school. I’m just, you know, a little nervous.”

“Wasn’t your appointment last week?”

“…I cancelled it.”

“Naruto!” Sasuke scolded. “You promised her you weren’t going to do that anymore!”

“I know! I _know_. It’s just, that was right after we fought, and I was _upset_ , and she would have noticed and asked me about it and I- I’m not used to it! All of my councillors up until now- we never talked about anything important!”

Sasuke frowned. “So what _did_ you talk about?”

“As little as possible! I always- I was really good at…avoiding. Like, I could win awards at it. The number one prize in avoidance!”

Sasuke could certainly believe _that_. “So, you’re going to talk to her about it today?”

Naruto let out a deep breath and scowled at the grass. “Yeah. I guess so. I don’t know!”

“You should.”

“It’s not that easy!”

“I know,” Sasuke interrupted. On impulse he shifted across the grass and grabbed Naruto’s hand. “I know it’s not easy, believe me.”

Naruto froze, and for a moment Sasuke thought he was going to pull his hand away. “But I-”

“Things have been going well with her. You’ll be okay! Even if you turn into a blubbering mess and embarrass yourself.”

Naruto turned bright red at that. “Sasuke!” he whined, and in his annoyance he gripped onto Sasuke’s hand tighter. “I- I won’t!”

“It would be fine even if you did.”

Naruto let out a low-pitched growl and Sasuke smiled. He squeezed Naruto’s hand again and then let go. From down the hill he heard the end-of-lunch bell; time to go back to class. “You’ll be okay. If- you can come over to my place after, if you like.”

“Can I?”

Sasuke stood, and shook the grass off his jeans. “Yeah. Itachi won’t be home, and- well, you don’t have to, if you don’t feel like it. I’ll leave the door open for you anyway.” He reached down and helped Naruto to his feet as well.

“…okay,” Naruto said, with a small, unsteady smile- but at least it seemed like a genuine smile. “I’ll see how I feel.”

“Good,” Sasuke said. They made their way down the hill together. Sasuke could see just how tense and nervous Naruto was. He understood it- it’s not like having those sorts of conversations with his own counsellor was easy. But he’d clearly had more practice at it. He wasn’t happy that Naruto had skipped his last appointment, and he wasn’t happy with himself for not realising it at the time. At least Naruto seemed committed to going today. And hopefully…hopefully, he’d come to visit Sasuke after.

***

Looking back on it all, Sasuke knew now why he’d been so angry when he’d caught Itachi showing Naruto those photos- why he’d been so _furious_ to find out that it was Naruto who’d brought up the subject of Sasuke’s childhood. This whole time that they’d been together, Naruto had been so cautious with him- ridiculously cautious, even _unhealthily_ cautious. But Sasuke had gotten used to it; he’d come to trust it. He trusted Naruto to not push against his boundaries. Naruto had never pried, or asked difficult questions; he was rarely the one to initiate potentially awkward conversations. And yes, that probably wasn’t a good thing- not if they wanted to be in a real relationship. But that’s the way it had been, and it had made Sasuke feel _safe_.

So Sasuke’s reaction had been shock, anger, and fear all mixed up together in a deadly, explosive mix. He hated that he’d yelled at Naruto like that. He hated that his intuitive reaction to Naruto and Itachi having a real conversation had been a sudden _dread_. Hadn’t he wanted them to get along? Why hadn’t he realised that maybe them getting along would involve Naruto finding out a little bit more about him?

And…why was that such a bad thing, anyway?

Sasuke scowled down at his textbook. Really, Naruto should be _furious_ at him for his little temper-tantrum. Sasuke had been a very bad boyfriend. And yet, Naruto hadn’t been angry at _all_. His reaction had been a lot less simple than that…and Sasuke was still trying to untangle it all.

Relationships, he’d decided, were a lot more complicated than physics or math. _Maybe I should try to read some books about boyfriends_ , he thought to himself. He smiled wryly. Oh, Itachi would _love_ that.

He glanced over at his phone; it was just past 5 pm. Maybe Naruto wouldn’t show up after all- but just as he thought that, he heard a knock at the front door and then heard it opening slowly.

“Sasuke?” came Naruto’s hesitant call from the front entry.

“In here,” Sasuke called back. “Come in!” He quickly set his textbook aside and shifted over across the bed to make room for Naruto. “There you are. I was starting to think you’d gotten lost!”

“Ha,” Naruto said to that when he got to Sasuke’s room. He dumped his bag on the floor and slipped his shoes off, and then hesitated for just a moment before joining Sasuke on the bed. “My session ran really late.”

“Is that good or bad?” Sasuke asked, anxiously running his eyes over Naruto’s face and body to pick up signs that something was wrong. Naruto still seemed exhausted, and a little tense, but slightly more relaxed than he had been at school.

“Ah, well, it went okay I think,” Naruto answered with a shrug and a weak smile. He leaned back heavily against the headboard and sighed. “I guess it wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t that nice, though!!”

“I’m sure it wasn’t,” Sasuke said. He reached beside him to grab the bottle of iced tea he’d bought for Naruto on the way home. “Here,” he said, passing it over. “It’s not cold anymore, but…”

Naruto took the bottle with wide, surprised eyes. “For me?” he asked. “Really? You never buy me food or drinks!”

Sasuke shrugged. “I figured you’d be- tired. This one’s your favourite, right?”

“Right! Thanks, Sas!” He smiled brightly, and Sasuke smiled back, breathing a sigh of relief at the same time. “Ugh, I really _am_ tired…”

“Maybe you should just rest for a while. I’ve got a bit more reading to do, and then I’ll be finished.”

Naruto nodded, opening the bottle and taking a long sip. He sighed happily. “Yes. Okay. I’m just so glad my appointment’s over!”

Sasuke wasn’t surprised. He knew this about Naruto very well by now; the blonde was the type of person who put things off for as long as possible, even though he felt so much better once they were done. He smiled, and then turned back to his book. He wanted to give Naruto some time to relax, and then maybe they could talk, if he was up to it. It wouldn’t matter if he wasn’t, though; it was so nice just having him here.

 _I’ve missed this_ , Sasuke thought as he settled back down against his pillows. It had only been a week and a half, but evidently he’d gotten used to Naruto being near him. Studying side-by-side, or watching TV. Just… being with each other. It was strange; Sasuke was such a loner, yet here he was so happy to have Naruto back.

They fell into an easy silence as Sasuke did his reading, and Naruto drank his tea. It felt like so much of their tension had somehow disappeared, and Sasuke felt so grateful.

He finished his chapter and glanced over at Naruto- he’d drained his bottle of iced tea, and was reclined back on the pillows with his eyes lightly shut. His eyes opened when Sasuke shifted around and pushed his textbook aside, and he smiled.

“You seem to be feeling better,” Sasuke cautiously observed.

“Yeah,” Naruto said to that. “Well, actually- there was something I wanted to talk to you about, if you don’t mind.”

Sasuke had a sudden rush of nerves hearing those words, but he tried not to show it. “Okay,” he said. “What is it?”

“Mm, it’s a little hard to talk about, but…” Naruto took a deep breath and re-positioned himself on the pillows. “It’s just that, last week you ended up telling me so much about your past. Even if you didn’t plan on telling me- you _did_ , anyway. I guess I feel guilty now, cause I haven’t done the same.”

 “You want to tell me about your past?” Sasuke asked, feeling both nervous and curious. “About your family?”

“Ha, well,” Naruto said with a sudden grin that quickly disappeared. “ _That_ wouldn’t take very long! You know I don’t have one. I’ve been in foster care since I was two, after all.”

“Since you were _two?!_ ” Sasuke exclaimed, horrified. “Naruto! That’s _awful!_ ”

“Ha, well. I guess I- mm, yeah it was pretty awful,” Naruto admitted, running his hands through his hair and looking sheepish. “I, ah- there were a few families that I stayed with for like, longer periods of time- mostly when I was younger. But I usually only spent a year or so with them, before I moved on.”

Sasuke frowned. He knew that Naruto was a foster kid- but he hadn’t realised it had been _that_ bad. And now that he thought about it, why hadn’t Naruto been adopted? If he’d been alone since he was two… _And I complain so much about **my** life,_ Sasuke scolded himself.

“But what happened to them?” Sasuke asked, before realising how insensitive that sounded. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but-”

“Oh, I don’t mind, Sas,” Naruto said, though the sudden sad expression in his eyes suggested that he _did_ mind. “Really, I didn’t know anything about them myself before I met Sai.”

“What’s Sai got to do with it?” Sasuke asked with a frown.

“Ah, Sai’s just so clever, you know!” Naruto said, gesturing emphatically. “We met at this group home for other foster kids our age. Cause, well, there’d been some problems with my last foster family, and I ended up- well, anyway, Sai was my new roommate and he was so _weird_ , and I hated him at first because he knew _everything_ about the system and things just seemed to work out for him and- god, I hated him!” Naruto said with a laugh, and some of that sadness disappeared from his eyes.

Sasuke didn’t really know what Naruto meant by the _system_ , or even all that much about Naruto’s roommate- except that like Naruto said, he was weird, but he’d always been nice to Sasuke and he obviously cared about Naruto a lot. “You get along so well now, though,” he commented, feeling relieved that Naruto’s mood had lifted.

“Yeah, we do!” Naruto agreed. “Once I figured out it’d be easier to be allies than enemies. And one night I asked him, if he knew how to find out about all this stuff, he should be able to find out about my parents, right? I wasn’t even serious at the time- actually, I was a little drunk-”

“Naruto!” Sasuke scolding, throwing a glare of disapproval in his direction.

“Ah, well,” Naruto said with a shrug. “That’s how it was, back then! Anyway he _did_ find some stuff out,” he added, and with that his jubilant mood seemed to slip a little.

“And?” Sasuke prompted.

“Mm, so, Sai found about that my dad had died before I was even born. And my mum, she was really sick- and I guess she just kept getting sicker, because…” Naruto sighed, and with that his smile faded away completely, and his eyes became unfocused and far-away.

Sasuke moved across the bed and took his hand. “I’m sorry, Naruto,” he said softly, his chest aching in sympathy.

Naruto blinked and gazed down at their hands. “…thanks,” he said quietly. “But it’s not like I remember them. I don’t have any proper memories. Except that…sometimes I’d have dreams, when I was a kid. I always wondered if they were memories. It was always of this same woman, she was so sad- but she had this amazing, long hair. Bright red. I just figured, I was making it all up but…Sai found a photo of my parents. And she _did_ have that hair.”

“That’s amazing,” Sasuke commented. “So you _do_ remember her…?”

“I guess so. In a way. It’s strange because, I used to make up all these different stories about them, thinking about what they’d been like. Except, I didn’t actually _know_ anything- for all I knew, they hadn’t even been a couple, or they were drug dealers, or worse- some of the stories the other foster kids had about their parents…”

“Naruto…”

“Yeah, well. I knew so much more after that, thanks to what Sai had found out. My dad was a firefighter, he said. The photo he gave me was of them on their wedding day. They looked really happy, so that was… Well, it was…actually, I felt pretty shit after that, to be honest.”

“I’m not surprised,” Sasuke murmured, squeezing his hand tighter.

Naruto sighed. “I think Sai felt guilty about it. Which is strange, because he doesn’t usually feel much of anything. Anyway, that’s probably why he arranged for me to come live with him, once he turned 18 and left the group home. He knew how much I hated it there.”

“So that’s how you ended up living together,” Sasuke commented.

“Yeah.”

“What does Sai even do?” Sasuke asked, hoping that bringing the conversation back to Naruto’s roommate would cheer him up again.

And it seemed to work- Naruto grinned at that. “Oh, god knows! He’s tried to explain it to me, but, I don’t know. He just- he works with computers, I think, and like, loads of data and information,” Naruto said with a shrug. Then he yawned, and rubbed his eyes.

“Lie down for a while,” Sasuke suggested, letting go of his hand and pushing his shoulders down to the mattress. “You’re so tired.”

“Mm, I guess I am,” Naruto agreed, letting himself be pushed into a lying position. He yawned again, and curled himself around one of Sasuke’s pillows. “It was just so nice, living with Sai! I had my own room- a really big room! And a nice apartment, with just the two of us. I finally had space to myself! And Sai cooked for me, and we talked about all kinds of things…even though I hated him so much at first, he ended up being my first real friend…”

Sasuke tried hard to quell the sudden flood of jealousy that rose up in him at Naruto’s words. _How dare you be jealous of that,_ he told himself. He _was_ jealous, though, thinking of how much Sai had given to him, and how important Sai clearly was to him. And what did Sasuke do? He just seemed to make Naruto tense and anxious- made him avoid appointments with his councillor, and get so tired that all his colour leeched away.

“You haven’t been sleeping well, have you?” he commented, reaching out and running his hand over Naruto’s forehead and down his cheek.

“Not really,” Naruto admitted, closing his eyes and leaning slightly into Sasuke’s touch. “I’ve been having these dreams…”

“I know what that’s like,” Sasuke murmured. “But…did your counsellor help? Maybe you should see a doctor and ask for some sleeping pills. Even Itachi could probably-”

“Ah, it’s okay,” Naruto interrupted, suddenly opening his eyes and gazing up at him. “Sai got me some, but I don’t really like them. And- Tsunade _did_ help. I think I’ll feel better soon.”

“That’s good,” Sasuke said, gritting his teeth against the jealously rising up in him again. “You should just rest for a while now,” he added, settling down on the pillows himself and continuing to stroke Naruto’s face- he seemed to like it.

“Mm,” Naruto murmured. He yawned and closed his eyes again, but his shoulders were still so tense even as Sasuke ran his fingers gently through his hair.

“Naruto?” Sasuke asked. “What is it?”

“I keep having this thought. I can’t get it to stop. It just won’t go away…”

“You call tell me.”

“It’s just that…after you told me about your family. All I could think was…maybe I was lucky. I don’t remember losing my family. Maybe I was better off.”

Sasuke froze, with his fingers still tangled through Naruto’s hair. Better off…

“Well, you know, I don’t have those memories- I don’t have to deal with that. But then I think- well, I kept going around and around in circles, about something that I couldn’t change no matter how much I thought about it. It was pointless, but I couldn’t stop.”

“I get it. Really. I understand,” Sasuke forced himself to say. He took a deep breath, and moved his hand away from Naruto’s face. “But I don’t think you can compare the two. Truthfully, we’ve both gotten a raw deal out of life.”

“That’s what Tsunade said.”

“Do you believe her?”

“Yeah. I think I can stop thinking about it now.” But even as he said that, Sasuke could see his eyes shining with unshed tears. He’d had such a difficult life, and their fight had just brought up bad memories and emotions for him. All because Sasuke couldn’t control his temper.

“Come here,” Sasuke said, shifting closer. He reached both arms out, and manoeuvred Naruto onto his side of the bed.

Naruto made a squeak of surprise and went all stiff, even as he instinctively curled around Sasuke’s side.

“Lay down. Sleep a while,” Sasuke ordered. “Good boy,” he said, when Naruto rested his head on Sasuke’s chest, and closed his eyes. “You’ve had a difficult week. You should rest.”

“Sas…”

“Rest. It’ll be okay,” Sasuke soothed, running his hand lightly up and down Naruto’s back. He pulled a blanket across Naruto’s shoulders to keep him warm against the growing cold. Gradually, slowly, Naruto’s body relaxed and his breathing became soft and easy once more. Sasuke smiled down at him, relieved.

And as Naruto slept, Sasuke tried to digest all that he’d said. Naruto had lots of people around him now: people who cared about him, people who wanted to help. And it seemed like he genuinely trusted Sai and Ino, and maybe even his councillor. But from what Naruto had told him, it hadn’t always been like that. Surely, _surely_ , some of his foster families had been okay- Naruto must have had some good years, some positive experiences. It can’t all have been horrible.

Except…Sasuke’s instincts were telling him that it probably _had_ been. What did he know about Naruto? He was intensely defensive, with strong, un-breach-able barricades all around himself. Those barricades may have been made of smiles and laughs, of that alluring charm of his, but it was still designed to keep people out. Sasuke had recognized that in him from the very first time they had met, and he had been instantly suspicious, instantly on high alert.

And now? Now, Sasuke found that Naruto was lowering his defences and letting him in. Slowly but surely, a little more each day. What a terrifying thought. Sasuke wanted to be worthy of it. He had to _make_ himself be worthy of it.

The daylight faded outside the window and the room gradually became dark and silent. Naruto slept on, and Sasuke stayed still, watching over him, an arm curled gently around his back. After a while Sasuke heard Itachi come home from work, and soon he appeared in Sasuke’s doorway, staring over at the bed and raising an eyebrow.

Sasuke just gave him a look, and make a shushing gesture; Itachi seemed to hesitate, but then he just shrugged, and walked away.

***

Naruto slept for more than an hour, but he eventually woke, and was very embarrassed to discover just how long he’d slept for. He was even more embarrassed to discover that Itachi had come home in the meantime and seen them. Sasuke had reassured him that it was fine, and then Itachi himself had driven Naruto home.

Sasuke waited anxiously for his brother’s return.

“He seems okay,” Itachi said, once he got back. “Don’t worry so much- it’ll be fine.”

“He’s so tired,” Sasuke argued, following Itachi into the kitchen. “He said he hasn’t been sleeping, but he won’t take sleeping pills. What if he’s been having nightmares? He can’t afford to be missing sleep, he has to study!”

Itachi just gave him a look, and put the kettle on to boil. “You haven’t eaten yet, I’ll bet. Sit. I’ll make us dinner.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes but did as his brother asked. Imagine worrying about _dinner_ at a time like this.

“Did he say anything on the way home? Did _you_ say anything?” he demanded.

“No. He was still half-asleep. Don’t worry, I handed him safely over to his roommate’s care. He’ll be looked after.”

“Hmph,” Sasuke growled at that. Yes, Sai would take care of him. He sighed, and watched Itachi put together a simple salad and some plain pasta for their dinner.

They ate together, and Sasuke did his best to be pleasant; he knew that Itachi was worried about him, and had been watching him closely. He wanted to show his brother that he was okay, and that he would _continue_ to be okay even when problems came up with Naruto. After all, that was the decision he had made about himself: he was going to be strong enough to face those challenges. And it was very important to him that Itachi understood that.

He finished his dinner to Itachi’s approval, and then remained in the kitchen while Itachi cleared away their plates. Eventually he returned to the table as well with a cup of tea, and sat there silently, seeming to understand that Sasuke had something to say.

“Go on, then,” Itachi prodded, calmly drinking his green tea.

Sasuke took a deep breath. “About Naruto,” he began, his voice low and tense. “The thing is…I think I’m in love with him.”

Itachi paused mid-sip, and gazed over at him. “You _think_?” he queried, carefully placing his cup back down on the table.

Sasuke hesitated. “I…well, I don’t know how I’d know for _sure_ ,” he admitted. “But….I think so, yes.”

There was silence for a few moments after that. Itachi gazed down at his cup of tea, and Sasuke twisted his hands together under the table. Finally, Itachi cleared his throat and nodded.

“When you know, you’ll _know_ ,” he said. “But in the meantime…congratulations.”

Sasuke turned bright red. “Thanks,” he stammered, feeling his blush deepen from the way his brother was looking at him. Then he pushed back from the table and quickly retreated to his room, looking back only briefly to see Itachi’s eyes following him, sparkling in amusement.

***


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!! Sooooo, we have some…“action” in this chapter, ahaha. So I’m sticking a **NFSW** warning on here! It’s taken a long time for our boys to get to this point, and I do worry that it’ll still take people by surprise…but we shall see! Enjoy!

“Like I said,” Naruto whined, gazing out the window at the storm outside. “It’s gonna rain _forever!_ There’s no point hanging out here just hoping it’ll stop!” He slammed his textbook shut in disgust, and pushed it away from him.

From the opposite side of the table Sasuke just raised an eyebrow and continued reading. “It’s _pouring_. Even with umbrellas we’ll get soaked before we get home. Let’s just wait for it to calm down a little and then we’ll make a run for it.”

“You promised we could hang out today,” Naruto protested. Naruto had been so good all week. Didn’t he deserve it?

“We _are_ hanging out,” Sasuke said, brushing his leg against Naruto’s under the table.

Naruto pushed his leg back. “ _Alone!!_ ”

“Keep your voice down, we’re in a library!”

“That’s my point! Let’s go home already!”

Sasuke sighed and finally looked up from his book properly, staring over at Naruto in annoyance. “We’ll get wet,” he said. “And then we’ll get sick. Exams are really just around the corner, you know.”

“We can dry off right away, so we’ll be fine,” Naruto argued. “Come on, Sas…”

Sasuke rolled his eyes and closed his book. “Oh, fine! But we’re going to your place. It’s closer.”

Naruto grinned. Perfect! He stood up at once and shoved his books in his bag, and then shifted impatiently from foot to foot until Sasuke was ready to go. Then he grabbed his still-annoyed boyfriend’s hand and they left the library, and headed out into the rain. It was Friday, and Naruto didn’t want to start his precious weekend stuck at school studying!

It really _was_ pouring outside though, and the wind was so strong that umbrellas were completely useless. So they made a run for it, rushing home as fast as they could and taking breaks along the way whenever they could find shelter. Naruto gripped Sasuke’s hand tight, laughing at how ludicrously soaked they were within a matter of minutes. Sasuke scowled at him, but gripped his hand in return.

“I told you so!!” Sasuke shouted at him through the rain.

Naruto only grinned. Yes, Sasuke had been right- just like he usually was! But they continued on their way home, holding hands and stumbling, tripping, getting wet; but they were together, which was all the reward Naruto needed for studying so hard.

***

More than a month had passed since their horrible fight. Gradually Naruto had stopped having those hideous dreams, and life seemed to go back to normal. Actually, things might be even _better_ than they were before- but it had taken a damned long time and a lot of effort to get there. Was that really what relationships were?? If so, they really were a _lot_ of work.

But it was worth it, though. Oh, it was so, _so_ worth it. The first time that they greeted each other in the morning without any awkwardness at all- the way Sasuke had smiled so warmly and taken Naruto’s hand…it had been perfect. The first time they’d kissed after their fight had been _incredible_ : it was like their first kiss all over again.

And now they were back to spending almost every day together. Studying took up a lot of their time, of course- Naruto was more committed than ever to reaching his goal. Having Sasuke there quietly at his side became the ultimate tool to keep him motivated, and school was going better than it ever had for him.

That afternoon they got home from school completely soaked from the rain, just as Sasuke had predicted. They shed their shoes and socks at the door, and left their bags and belonging spread out on towels to dry.

“Do you wanna have a shower?” Naruto asked, shaking his hair out and laughing as Sasuke did the same.

“ _Yes_ ,” Sasuke said emphatically, shivering a little in his soaking clothes. The poor thing looked so pitiful, like a drowned rat- though of course, a very cute drowned rat! And Naruto surely looked just as bad.

“I’ll get you a towel, and I’ll find something for you to wear, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Sasuke said, and then reached out to grab Naruto’s arm before he walked away. “Just a moment,” he said, and then he pulled Naruto in for a sudden, unexpected kiss.

“What was _that_ for?” Naruto said with a laugh, jumping a bit when Sasuke leaned down to nip his neck and nuzzle his shoulder.

“You smell nice,” Sasuke murmured. “…you smell like rain.”

Naruto laughed again. Sasuke was in a _really_ weird mood today! “I wonder why,” he teased, stepping back when Sasuke released him. He reached up to touch his bottom lip- had Sasuke _bitten_ him?!

“And you look cute all soaking wet,” Sasuke added simply, before turning and heading for Naruto’s bathroom. “Nothing orange, okay?” he called as he went.

Naruto watched him go, shaking his head in disbelieve. Where had _that_ come from? Oh well- he wasn’t complaining!

He quickly rifled through his drawers and found a pair of tracksuit pants for Sasuke, with a long drawstring so he could tighten it around his waist. He was still _very_ skinny, even though Naruto could tell- could _feel_ , in fact, when they hugged- that Sasuke was slowly but surely getting healthier. Naruto left the pants by the door with a pair of fluffy socks, a shirt, and a nice, soft, orange sweater. He smiled, and then rushed to Sai’s bathroom to shower himself quickly.

He managed to finish his own shower before Sasuke, and was in the kitchen boiling the kettle when Sasuke emerged.

“This is _hideous_!” Sasuke complained, stalking up behind Naruto just as he was pouring water in the teapot.

Naruto turned, and froze. “Oh my god,” he gushed. “You look adorable!” There stood a very cross- looking Sasuke, in pants that were much too long for him, and a sweater that reached to just above his knees. “Sasuke!!”

“…Naruto,” Sasuke scowled. “I demand you find me something else at _once_!”

“Ah, I can’t! No time, I gotta take care of the tea!” He quickly stepped forward and folded up the sleeves of the orange sweater to free Sasuke’s hands, grinning as he did so.

“Tea?” Sasuke asked, doubtful. “You want me to drink tea?”

“Yup!” Naruto exclaimed, and returned to the bench to extract the tea leaves from the pot before the tea became too bitter. “It’s camomile! Didn’t you say you tried it at your counsellor’s that one time? And it’s cold; you need to warm up!”

Sasuke stared over at him, watching closely as he poured them both a cup of tea and then crossed the room. “Yeah, but…”

“Or you could just drink plain hot water, if you prefer,” Naruto said, handing the cup to Sasuke and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

Sasuke blushed briefly before looking down at the cup and examining its contents closely. “Well, I’ll try it,” he agreed, bringing the mug to his mouth.

“Ah, careful Sas, it’s still-”

“It’s _hot_!” Sasuke squeaked, pulling the cup away and scowling at it. “Naruto!”

Naruto couldn’t help but laugh. So Sasuke really didn’t ever drink tea, huh? The poor guy had no idea what he was doing! He quickly took the mug from Sasuke’s hands. “Aww, poor baby!” he crooned. “Did you burn yourself?”

“Yes!” Sasuke cried.

“Here, I’ll make it better,” Naruto said, taking Sasuke’s hands and then leaning in for kiss. Sasuke squeaked again in protest but didn’t pull away, and as Naruto nuzzled against him, Sasuke reached out to pull Naruto closer and deepened their kiss.

“It _hurt_ ,” Sasuke whined between kisses, but he hummed in contentment when Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke’s waist and held them close together.

“Sorry, kitten…” he murmured, running his tongue across Sasuke’s ‘burnt’ lip.

“I’m not ‘kitten’,” Sasuke growled against his mouth, but he obviously wasn’t angry enough to stop kissing him. He reached up and laced his fingers through Naruto’s hair, and kissed him harder.

_Oh_ , kissing Sasuke was like nothing else in this world. Naruto smiled through their kiss and ran his hands cheekily up Sasuke’s back under the soft, fluffy sweater, wondering how far Sasuke would let him go. But then Sasuke jumped suddenly and Naruto realised he was touching _bare skin_ , and he quickly pulled his hands away.

“Shit, sorry Sas!!” he exclaimed, stepping away from him and holding his hands up in surrender. Sasuke was always wearing a tight, secure t-shirt under whatever he was wearing, but this time there was nothing but one of Naruto’s old, baggy shirts between the sweater and his skin. “Sorry! I didn’t realise!” he repeated.

“It’s okay,” Sasuke said, giving him a small frown and smoothing down the sweater. “…your hands are cold, that’s all…”

“Right, sure,” Naruto quickly said, grinning over at him. “Here, I’ll show you a trick with your tea,” he went on, deciding to change tact. He took Sasuke’s mug over to the freezer and dropped a few ice cubes into it before handing it back.

“Oh,” Sasuke said, staring down at the tea in amazement. “That’s genius.”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Naruto teased, taking his own mug and leading them to the couch.

They sat, with Sasuke snatching his orange blanket off the back of the couch as soon as they did. He sifted closer and nestled into Naruto’s side, and sipped cautiously at his tea. “This blanket is a much more agreeable colour,” he commented between sips.

“It’s orange,” Naruto said back with a grin, watching happily as Sasuke actually drank his tea. He was drinking the tea! _You probably shouldn’t feel so victorious over a cup of camomile tea_ , Naruto thought wryly to himself- and yet he _did_.

“There’s orange, and then there’s _orange_ ,” Sasuke said, gazing down at his sweater and wrinkling his nose in disgust. He took another sip of tea before stretching forward and leaving it on the coffee table, and then he returned to Naruto’s side, sighing and leaning on his shoulder.

“Wanna play video games? Or watch TV?”

“No,” Sasuke said to that, leaning up to press a quick kiss to Naruto’s cheek.

Naruto smiled. “Want more tea?” he asked, delighting in the feel of Sasuke’s warm breath against his cheek and neck.

“Nope,” Sasuke replied, shaking his head and nuzzling his nose against Naruto’s cheek as he did so.

“Everything okay?”

“Mm.”

Time passed slowly but peacefully in the quiet apartment after that. Outside the windows the afternoon sun dimmed slowly, and it grew a little colder. Not that Naruto was feeling cold; no, not at all. Not with Sasuke curled up by his side, with the orange blanket spread across their laps. Naruto couldn’t stop himself from running his eyes over Sasuke’s unusual outfit; the sweater hang loosely around his neck and collarbone, and the rare show of skin was only making him feel warmer.

Every now and then one of them would speak, but mostly they just sat there with their fingers laced together. And all the time Naruto’s skin was growing more and more heated, as every now and then he leant over to brush his lips over Sasuke’s, and Sasuke returned the kiss with relish.

“You’re so sweet, Sasuke,” Naruto murmured against Sasuke’s mouth, and in response Sasuke rolled his eyes and poked his tongue out. Naruto laughed. “And such a _child!_ ”

“A _child_ , huh?” Sasuke commented, shifting on the couch to face him properly. Sasuke kissed him again and nipped a trail up his cheek. “That’s a dire insult coming from _you_ ,” he purred into Naruto’s ear.

Naruto shivered. “Don’t know what you mean…” he said, curling his arms around Sasuke’s waist- keeping his hands clear of any bare skin so he didn’t spook his kitten.

Sasuke nipped his cheek again, and bit down softly on his earlobe. Naruto shivered, and when Sasuke licked up over the outer shell of his ear he just barely bit back a gasp, and his hands tightened around Sasuke’s waist. Where had _that_ come from?! Sasuke had never done something like that before!

“You jumped, Naruto,” Sasuke commented, moving back so that he could look Naruto in the eye and giving him a mocking smile.

“I _didn’t_ ,” Naruto said back at once. He leaned forward to bring them back into contact, capturing Sasuke’s mouth for a brief kiss before Sasuke shoved him against the couch cushions once more.

“You _did_ ,” Sasuke maintained, and then before Naruto knew what was happening, Sasuke shifted position and was on Naruto’s lap, with his hands making their way up his jaw and cheeks to grip his hair. “I _saw_ you…”

“Sasuke!” Naruto squeaked, stunned by the abrupt change in atmosphere- stunned at the feel of Sasuke’s light body on top of him, and their bodies in sudden contact. Sasuke really _was_ in a strange mood today!

Sasuke laced his fingers through his hair, tugging Naruto forward until they were kissing again, and when Naruto gasped Sasuke slipped his tongue past his lower lip, running it all along the top ridge of Naruto’s mouth. He didn’t stop, and Naruto’s breath hitched in his throat. What- what _was_ this?!

_Oh god_ , Naruto whimpered inside his head as Sasuke deepened the kiss; _he’s so warm_. _So perfect._ Naruto was so surprised that it took him several minutes to process it all, several long minutes of him just sitting there and letting Sasuke do exactly as he wished, tugging at Naruto’s hair, pressing them together.

Naruto was feeling faint and overheated, but when Sasuke bit down on his bottom lip something _changed_ ; he felt a sudden surge of energy and heat rush right through him. He gripped his hands tight around Sasuke’s hips and pulled away from Sasuke’s mouth, bringing his own to Sasuke’s pale, perfect throat.

Sasuke moaned softly when Naruto nipped at the nape of his neck, and Naruto’s insides sang. He sucked down harder, biting at his skin and blowing across the surface softly, drawing a shiver and another moan from Sasuke.

“ _Naruto_ …” Sasuke whispered furiously, trying to tug Naruto back up to him, trying to kiss him again properly. Sasuke ground back down against him, pushing his hips down, letting his weight fall on Naruto’s thighs.

It was too hot; Naruto couldn’t stand it. Where had this all come from?! Sasuke was never like _this_ \- it was like that first time again, when Sasuke had moved from the bed and pinned him to the chair before he’d known what was happening. And this time, there was no pesky older brother to interrupt them, nothing to stop them from doing- wait, from doing _what_?!

With a start Naruto realised that Sasuke’s actions- Sasuke’s movements on top of him, his heated breath against his skin, his trail of kisses all along the side of his neck- were having an _extremely_ embarrassing effect on him. Abruptly he pulled back, tightening his grip on Sasuke’s waist to hold him still; _just stay put, Sasuke, stop moving!_ he pleased inside his mind.

“Sasuke, wait,” he gasped out. “What- what are we doing?!”

“Naruto,” Sasuke breathed, trying to get back at him. “Don’t _stop_. I-”

“ _Wait_ , I said!” Naruto said again, suddenly panicking when Sasuke managed to wriggle out of his hold and fall back into his lap. No, no, he’ll be able to _feel_ -

“…oh,” Sasuke said, his eyes going wide, as he leaned back in Naruto’s lap and gazed at him. “Naruto, you-”

-yes. He-

“Shit!” Naruto exclaimed, his already-heated cheeks burning with fierce embarrassment now. He was usually so good at hiding when this happened!! It’s not like it was the first time; Sasuke was too gorgeous for him to handle. “Sasuke, I-”

“Why’re you so embarrassed?” Sasuke asked, ducking under his outstretched arms to kiss his cheek. “It’s happened before.”

Naruto squeaked and tried to wriggle away. Was he _not_ good at hiding it?! “I- just ignore it-”

“Why?” Sasuke went on, circling his hips in just the right way to draw a moan and a jolting motion from Naruto, to his horror.

“Will you _stop_ that, Sasuke?!” he pleaded. “And it’s embarrassing because it doesn’t happen to _you_! Just give me a second to get under control!”

At that Sasuke did sit back properly, and looked suddenly very sad. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, looking down.

Naruto blinked. “You’re sorry?” he said with a frown. “What for? Sas, I should have more control than this. We said all that stuff would wait. I know you’re not interesting in- things like that-”

“But _you_ are,” Sasuke interrupted, with a sudden intensity.

Naruto flushed bright red. “I would never put any pressure on you. You know I wouldn’t!”

Sasuke shook his head and let out as exasperated breath. “It’s not…I don’t feel pressured. I _swear_. I just- it’s strange, to think that you’re…interested in me like that. Seeing the proof. Well, feeling it.”

…Naruto wanted to dig himself a hole in the ground and never, ever come out again. “Sasuke!” he shrieked. “Don’t say stuff like that! _Fuck_ , I’m so embarrassed!”

“Don’t be,” Sasuke said with a small smile, and he shifted on Naruto’s lap to get back into his former position, resting on Naruto’s chest. “I’m not as inexperienced as you seem to think I am. I told you, didn’t I?”

“Mm, but-”

“I can handle it. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

Naruto sighed. “Well, I _am_ ,” he murmured, although the problem seemed to be going away for now. He took a few deep breaths and tried to will the problem to go away completely- though with Sasuke sitting flush up against him, that probably wouldn’t be entirely possible.

“I could even take it as a complement,” Sasuke said, nuzzling into the crook of Naruto’s neck and pressing kisses into his shoulder.

“I wish you wouldn’t,” Naruto pleaded. It made him feel like some kind of freak to have these feelings when Sasuke claimed not to- though Sasuke’s lack of interest in sex didn’t seem to be stopping him from messing around today.

“Not sure I can help it,” Sasuke murmured, resting contently on top of him.

Naruto sighed and resigned himself to the situation. It’s not like he could actually stop it from happening _all_ the time. Sasuke didn’t seem to be offended, so maybe it was okay…? Well, in any case, it hadn’t ruined the moment. Sasuke felt so nice against him; his skin was so soft and warm, and Naruto could feel his breathing in time with his own.

“Mm…don’t you know how amazing you are, Sas?” Naruto murmured back, bringing his hands around Sasuke’s waist once more and breathing in heavily. “God, you even _smell_ amazing…”

“Like the rain?” Sasuke said with a noise that almost sounded like a giggle.

“Like my shower gel,” Naruto teased back. Sasuke had been in _his_ shower, and was wearing _his_ clothes. It was…well, the thought was doing interesting things to his insides.

“Such a pervert,” Sasuke said, wriggling on top of him and going in for another kiss.

“Can’t help it.”

“It’s getting bigger again,” Sasuke observed with another wriggle and a wicked grin.

“Sasuke!” Naruto squeaked. “Just _ignore_ it-”

“-I won’t,” Sasuke interrupted, kissing him abruptly and deeply, nipping his bottom lip and gripping Naruto’s jaw between his hands. “I _won’t_ ignore it!”

…Naruto wanted to _die_. “How are you such a good kisser?!” he cried, feeling his blood rushing south fast. “It’s not _fair_!”

“Well, aren’t you nice,” Sasuke teased, taking a hand from Naruto’s cheek and slipping it between them, heading downward.

“What are you doing?!” he shrieked, when he felt Sasuke slip his hand into the waistband of his jeans.

“Mm, I just,” Sasuke said. “I just thought I could…you know. If…if that’s okay…”

“If _what’s_ okay?!” Naruto declared. He couldn’t possibly be saying what Naruto thought he was saying, right?! Oh, but- but Sasuke was unbuttoning his fly, and his hand was slipping down the front of his jeans- “Sasuke!”

Sasuke paused. “I’ll stop. If you want me to. But I…I _want_ to, if you’ll let me,” he said, not looking at him. And even though his voice was soft and quiet, there was an edge to it as well- a defiance.

_As if I could possibly say no_ , Naruto said to himself. Even now, with Sasuke’s weight falling on him so completely, and his hand sliding across the front of his boxers, he could feel himself _swell_. “Just- just wait, Sasuke!” he pleaded, leaning forward and taking Sasuke’s face in his hands, angling him upward until their eyes met.

Sasuke gazed back at him, his dark eyes burning in intensity. Yes, there was that defiance. Naruto froze. Sasuke moved forward, nudged his nose with his own, and placed a soft, heated kiss on his lips. “I want to,” he murmured, after a moment. “Please?”

…well, no matter what Naruto’s mind wanted to say, his body seemed to be taking control of the situation and _definitely_ wanted Sasuke to continue doing what he was doing.

“Okay, Sasuke,” Naruto gasped out, jolting again when Sasuke’s hands resumed moving, closer and closer to his cock. “…god, Sas, just- don’t _stop_ -”

“I won’t,” Sasuke declared, and the next thing he knew, Sasuke had pulled his jeans looser and tugged his boxers down and away, and Sasuke was touching him-

“ _God_ ,” Naruto moaned, arching his spine upwards. “Sa- Sasuke!”

Sasuke circled his hand around his cock and drew it up and down, and Naruto was _gone_. Sasuke’s grip tightened and loosened, his hand went all the way down and back to the top, rubbing his thumb hard into his slit.

Naruto almost passed out. He had never, _ever_ been this aroused, and all because someone was just- touching him? Just one hand, just for a few minutes, and he was _lost_. He groaned and let his head fall back against the top of the couch, dizzy and in a haze with Sasuke’s weight grinding down into him. And it seemed infinitely strange to him that, up until six months ago he had a different boy with him every week, doing all kinds of things, yet it was _Sasuke_ who was bringing him undone. It was Sasuke that was making him burn. Despite all that Naruto had done in the past, this was something _new_ , and he didn’t quite feel worthy for it.

_He’s just snuck up on me_ , Naruto thought to himself inside his feverish mind. _Where did he come from? He just appeared in my life and I knew he would be the best thing that’s ever happened to me._

“Naruto…” Sasuke murmured, breaking through his foggy thoughts. Sasuke was writhing against him and pressing kisses into his throat; biting down and nipping on his skin. “Does it feel good?”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Naruto muttered, beside himself with pleasure. Did it feel _good?!_ It felt _heavenly._ He didn’t even know how much time was passing; he never wanted this to stop. “Sasuke, what are you doing to me?”

“Mm, it would feel better with some more moisture though, wouldn’t it?” Sasuke whispered into his ear, and Naruto jolted again. What was he up to now?!

And then suddenly Sasuke slipped off him and onto the floor, his hands tugging Naruto’s jeans further down as he went. Naruto jolted again and stared down at him in alarm.

“Sasuke!” he cried out, as the dark-haired boy settled himself between Naruto’s thighs and looked suspiciously like he was about to- “What are you doing?!”

“It’s okay, Naruto,” Sasuke interrupted. “I’ve done it before, you know. And I want to- I want to see your face when you-”

Naruto groaned again and just decided to surrender. Let this demon do whatever he wanted. Naruto was _lost_ , he was completely at Sasuke’s mercy. Just the sight of his dark eyes gazing up at him from where he was kneeling on the floor- Naruto would have done anything he asked. “Sasuke…”

“Hmm, good boy,” Sasuke praised. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, overwhelmed by what was happening, and the next thing he knew, Sasuke’s _mouth_ was-

-this, this was it. This is how he was going to die, and it would be _worth_ it. Sasuke took him into his mouth, circling his lips around the top of his cock and sucking ever-so-slightly, so _gently_ , before pressing his tongue to the veined underside. Naruto’s eyes fluttered open and he saw Sasuke gazing back at him intently, fully alert and watching him. He slowly, deliberately, withdrew his mouth to run his tongue all the way around the head of his cock once more, and then again.

“Shit,” Naruto groaned, overwhelmed with heated sensations, and he closed his eyes again and surrendered.

Sasuke kissed his way down the entire length of his cock and then ran his tongue back up, and with the added moisture, the hand squeezed around his base now felt ten times better than it had before- and that shouldn’t even be _possible_!

If there was any conciliation, it was that Naruto knew- he _knew_ \- that he wasn’t going to be lasting long. Oh no, not at all. Here he was, a guy who prided himself on his lasting power, his _stamina_ , and he’d been brought completely undone by this wild, heated demon in front of him. Even now Naruto’s insides were burning and the pressure was building until it was unbearable, and he-

“Sasuke, _please_ ,” he pleased, his fingers threading through Sasuke’s hair, his arms and legs shaking, his whole body tensing up. “Oh god, that’s amazing-”

He _felt_ rather than heard Sasuke groan in response, and at that the pressure reached unbearable levels.

“Sasuke, _stop_ , I-” he forced his eyes open and looked down as all his muscles clenched up and a red-hot heat ripped down his spine. “Ah- _ha_ , Sasuke, god, _mm_ -!”

-and then everything turned dark as his limbs went limp, all his energy disappearing at once; he felt, vaguely and from somewhere very far away, Sasuke’s mouth around his cock as he jolted and came undone. And after a brief eternity of blissful darkness some part of his mind started screaming at him: _he swallowed, he swallowed-!_

Naruto’s eyes flew open and he doubled over, leaning down to see Sasuke staring back at him in amazement, his face pale, serious, and intent. Slowly, delicately, Sasuke ran his pink tongue along the outside of his lips and then it disappeared back into his mouth.

Naruto gulped in a shallow breath and felt very, very faint.

“Sa- Sasuke!” he cried, his voice hoarse and scratchy. “You- are you okay?!” He slid off the couch and onto his knees on the floor, reaching out to Sasuke’s shoulders, searching for signs of distress on his face. Naruto’s skin was _burning_ and his body felt weak and jittery, but more than anything, he was suddenly very, _very_ afraid of what they’d just done- of what it _meant._ “Sasuke…”

Sasuke blinked. “Did you like it?” he asked, and his own voice seemed just as hoarse as Naruto’s. He leaned into Naruto’s touch, his breathing jagged, his chest heaving up and down. “Did I-”

“God, that was _amazing_!” Naruto quickly said. “But I- that is _not_ what I thought we’d be doing this afternoon! Did you plan this, Sasuke?!”

Sasuke shook his head. “No, I- I just wanted to, in the moment.”

_I just wanted to,_ Sasuke had said all those months ago, after he’d leaned forward and kissed him that very first time. And now…

“Sasuke…” Naruto breathed, shifting closer, cupping his cheek gently in his hand.

But suddenly Sasuke turned even whiter, and then a wicked shade of green whipped across his face. He blanched and shuffled away from Naruto, pushing himself to his feet. “Shit,” he gasped out. “Do _not_ take this personally!” he added, as he rushed away from the couch and into Naruto’s room.

Where, presumably, he made his way to the bathroom as fast as he possibly could.

***

It seemed to take forever before Naruto could move; before he could stand up and follow his boyfriend to the bathroom, fixing his jeans as he went. As expected he could hear horrible retching sounds from the bathroom, and when he got there he found Sasuke kneeling over the toilet and puking his guts up.

Naruto winced. “Oh, Sasuke,” he murmured, his insides churning up with sympathy and guilt. He shouldn’t have let Sasuke do that. He certainly shouldn’t have let him _swallow_! And now Sasuke was sick.

He knelt down by Sasuke’s side, running one hand up and down Sasuke’s back and using the other to push his hair off his face. Sasuke moaned and looked at him briefly before leaning back down to the toilet and throwing up some more.

This went on for several minutes, and Naruto just didn’t know what to say. And so he just stayed there, doing what he could to comfort Sasuke while he puked.

Eventually- eventually- Sasuke groaned and fell back from the toilet-seat. Naruto caught him neatly against his chest, holding him there securely and nuzzling into his back. “Shit, I’m so sorry, Sasuke,” he said mournfully. “What can I do?!”

“It- it’s okay,” Sasuke gasped out, letting his whole weight fall back against Naruto. “Just- don’t move, stay still…”

“Okay,” Naruto said in a small voice. They sat there in silence, Sasuke’s eyes squeezed shut and his breathing heavy and jagged.

Then Sasuke groaned again and shifted in his arms. “Do you still have that toothbrush?” he whimpered.

Naruto blinked, and hurriedly moved to help Sasuke stand, supporting him as he got to his feet. “Of course!” he cried, moving over to the sink and finding Sasuke’s toothbrush next to his own. “I’ll get you a bottle of water too, okay?” he added, leaving Sasuke in peace in the bathroom.

He took his time fetching the water from the kitchen, feeling overwhelmingly ashamed and awkward. That was- that was new. It had been intense. Unexpected. Well, that was an understatement. He sighed, shaking his head in judgement at himself, and returned to his room.

There he found his boyfriend, sitting on the edge of Naruto bed and looking tiny and sorry for himself. Naruto handed him the water and Sasuke took it gratefully.

“I’m so sorry, Sasuke,” Naruto said again. He’d never be able to apologise enough for this.

Sasuke shook his head slowly. “No, I- I wanted to, like I said. You liked it, didn’t you?”

“Of course!!” Naruto said quickly. And even though Sasuke was obviously feeling pretty shitty at the moment, at the time Naruto had been in heaven. “It was _amazing_ , Sas!”

Sasuke gazed up at him and coloured slightly. Then he slipped further into the bed, lying down on the pillows and curling in on himself. “I- I’m tired, can I just rest for a while?”

“Of course,” Naruto said. “Have a nap, okay?” he added, moving forward and pulling the blankets over Sasuke’s thin shoulders. Actually, he was feeling completely exhausted himself. But he…they… “Um, is it okay if I sleep too? On my own side of the bed…”

Sasuke nodded, looking up and giving him a small smile before he closed his eyes.

Naruto sighed and made his way to the other side of the bed. What had just happened was…well, it was a _lot_. He sighed again and buried himself under the blankets.

***

Naruto woke with a start, something in his mind suddenly on high alert- something was _wrong_. He froze, and tried to calm down enough to try and figure out what he was.

…and then a few seconds later he relaxed, and had to resist the urge to laugh at himself. He was being _held_ ; Sasuke was holding him.

Sometime while they were asleep, Sasuke must have shifted over to Naruto’s side of the bed and nestled up against his back. Sasuke’s arm was curled over Naruto’s waist, down to his stomach, holding him securely in place while they slept.

_Well this is new_ , Naruto marvelled in his mind as he drifted back to sleep, lulled by Sasuke’s presence against his back and Sasuke’s warm breath against his neck.

_…I think I like it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *fidgets* so, uh....how was it?? *runs away and hides*


	19. Chapter 19

“You don’t even need to say anything,” Sasuke’s councillor cooed at him, with a ridiculous smile lighting up her whole face. “I could tell from the moment you walked in that you’ve had a good week!”

Sasuke blushed and shifted uncomfortably on his seat. He was that obvious, huh? Well, she was a trained professional, after all- maybe it wasn’t as obvious to anyone _else_. “Uh…yeah, I guess so,” he said, snatching a cushion from the couch and holding it to his chest.

And Sasuke’s words seemed to make her so happy that she was practically _radiating_ excitement. “Ahh, things are just getting better and better!”

Sasuke felt a small twinge of anxiety at that, and tried to push it away. Just because things were going really well now, didn’t necessarily mean that something hideously bad was going to happen and take it all away. Sasuke wished he could stop thinking like that. Everything could _stay_ great, if he worked at it. If he believed it.

“I don’t really want to tell you exactly what happened,” Sasuke admitted, shifting again. “It’s…really personal. And…it’s not like it was…” _It’s not like it was **all** good_ , Sasuke thought to himself, wincing at the sudden memory of being doubled up over the toilet heaving his guts out. Not exactly the sexist way to finish a blow-job. _You’re an embarrassment_ , Sasuke scolded himself, even though he knew he couldn’t have helped it.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” his councillor said back, still smiling that ridiculous smile of hers. “We’re here for what _you_ want to talk about, after all!”

“Mm, well…” Well, what _did_ he want to talk about? About Naruto? About Itachi? They both seemed fine, and Sasuke was beyond relieved about that. “Actually, I think Itachi is getting better about- you know, he’s such a control-freak. But he- see, I spent the night at Naruto’s place last week. And I kind-of forgot to tell him about it. I thought he’d be angry when I got home, but…”

“But he wasn’t?” she asked, leaning forward in her seat, her cup of camomile tea sitting completely forgotten beside her. “You stayed away for a whole night without telling him?”

“He knew where I was, probably. There’s that app on our phones, so, if he looked, he would have known I was at Naruto’s.” Sasuke still slightly regretted letting Itachi guilt him into agreeing to that _Find My Friends_ app, though it let him track Itachi as well. And he had to admit it had come in handy to know exactly when Itachi was at work, and exactly when he was about to get home and find him with Naruto. “I probably should have told him I was spending the night, but I just…fell asleep.”

And had an amazing night’s sleep, at that. Just like he had that other time he’d fallen asleep in Naruto’s bed. Why? You’d think his subconscious would be all kinds of freaked out to be asleep with someone else in the same bed. _Naruto’s bed is pretty comfortable though_ , he mused.

“Hmm. So how did he react?”

“He just said to let him know, next time.” Though, it probably helped that Sasuke’s first words to Itachi the next morning were _nothing happened, we just slept_. Itachi was really going to struggle with things progressing between him and Naruto.

“And Naruto?”

And Naruto. Yes, well. Naruto had spent the past week alternating between looking deliriously happy and insanely guilty, but that was to be expected. And at least he wasn’t fretting over Sasuke, asking him if he was okay, if he was _really_ okay, if he wanted to slow things down- which was the response that Sasuke had been expecting. So maybe, Naruto was doing better as well.

Sasuke clutched the cushion tighter to his chest and tried to get his red cheeks under control. Things with Naruto were good, yes; he was sweet, and kind, and attentive, and…really, _really_ hot. _Damn it, Sasuke, stop blushing!!_ But he couldn’t help it. Lately when he thought about Naruto he just felt…warm. Too warm.

“Naruto’s fine,” Sasuke said simply, biting his lip. He looked around for his glass of water, and drained it all down in one big gulp- and was still thirsty.

“That’s good to hear,” his councillor said, reaching out to take his glass and refilling it. “And school?”

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief. Yes, school. A much safer topic. He shifted positions on the couch again and took another sip of water, and prepared to move on from the muddling topic that was Naruto.

***

It’s not like Sasuke wasn’t interested in sex at _all_. He didn’t find the idea repellent. He could accept that people were out there doing it and enjoying it, and it didn’t bother him. He just…wasn’t interested in having sex himself.

At least…that’s the way it _had_ been, in the past.

Sasuke wondered how much of it was the drugs, how much of it was his illness, and how much was just him. Some people weren’t interested. He’d kind-of figured- accepted- that he might _never_ want to, and he was perfectly okay with that.

And actually, the idea that maybe one day he _would_ want to- that maybe he would want to with _Naruto_ \- was a much more terrifying thought.

Sasuke took his time heading home from his councillor’s that day. Her office was quite far from the centre of town where Sasuke lived, and he had to take two buses and then walk a bit to get there unless Itachi drove him. He liked it, though. Their town wasn’t that big, and that meant that Sasuke already knew all the councillors in his area- and worse, he saw them everywhere. No, he was more than happy to go out of town for his sessions. Plus, it let him recover before he got home. Naruto was coming over this afternoon, and he didn’t want to be this flustered.

He wanted things to keep moving forward with Naruto. In _all_ ways, not just the physical. And Naruto seemed to accept that the pace of their physical relationship was up to Sasuke; he’d never push, he’d never pressure him. He accepted whatever Sasuke wanted. If only _Sasuke_ could accept what Sasuke wanted.

He shivered. Lately, he’d been wanting more and more. He wished he didn’t.

***

“Oh, Sasuke!” Naruto called from the kitchen table when Sasuke walked through the front door. “Welcome home!”

“You see, it works,” Itachi said to Naruto, holding out his phone.

“Wowwww,” Naruto remarked. “That’s awesome _and_ creepy!”

Itachi nodded. “Yes,” he said simply.

Sasuke paused in the doorway. “What’re you doing here?” he demanded, feeling more than a little surprised and concerned to see his boyfriend and brother sitting across from each other at the table.

“I was early,” Naruto admitted, giving him a sheepish grin. He jumped up to pull a chair out for Sasuke, motioning for him to sit.

“I found him in the stairwell outside,” Itachi added, sitting back on his chair.

“He doesn’t have that tracking thing on me too, does he?” Naruto whispered to Sasuke anxiously.

Sasuke sighed and shook his head. “You have to set it up from your own phone,” he explained, patting Naruto’s hand comfortingly. “How long have you been here?”

“Not long!” Naruto said brightly. “Itachi made me tea!”

Sasuke bit his lip. So they’d been sitting at the table, drinking tea, for some undefined length of time- without Sasuke’s supervision. _Calm down_ , Sasuke told himself sternly. _Everything seems fine. They can be in the same room as each other just fine now. It’s a **good** thing. _

“I brought you something,” Naruto went on, just as brightly, as he pulled a box out of his bag. It was a puzzle. “It looks so hard!!”

Itachi made a strange sound from his side of the table. “He knows you well, Sasuke,” he said, sipping his tea.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and pulled the box towards him. Yes, the puzzle _did_ look hard. Autumn trees; a mass of maple leaves in varying shades of orange and yellow. He squinted. Hmm, it was going to be very difficult to match the leaves together…

“He likes it,” Naruto said, and Sasuke looked up to catch Naruto and Itachi smiling at each other. His stomach clenched at the sight, and once again he tried to push that anxiety aside.

“Weren’t we going to study tonight?” he asked.

Naruto shook his head. “I’m all done! I got my whole essay finished. Itachi proof-read it for me and said it’s good.”

…Itachi proof-read it. “You said he hadn’t been here that long,” he muttered, glaring at Itachi.

“I’m a fast reader, Sasuke,” Itachi said, finishing his tea and standing up. “I’ll leave you to it. I’ve got things to do before work tonight.”

“He said it was _good_ ,” Naruto repeated to Sasuke, his voice filled with awe.

Sasuke let out an exasperated breath and tried to snap out of his suspicious mood. “That’s great. But your essay-writing has come a long way, so you shouldn’t be so surprised.”

Naruto’s eyes sparkled. “Aww. You’re so sweet!”

Sasuke growled under his breath. “Whatever. Let’s do this puzzle.” His hands were almost itching to get started on it. Damn it, Naruto really _did_ know him well. He must have chosen the most difficult puzzle he could find.

Naruto giggled- actually _giggled_ \- and dumped the contents of the box on the table. “We’re gonna get it done tonight!” he declared, and they set to work.

They spent the next two hours contentedly sorting through near-identical puzzle pieces, and managed to get the whole border in place before setting to work on the middle sections. Naruto alternated between grinning and scowling, and every now and then Itachi wandered by and re-filled Naruto’s cup of tea. Before Sasuke knew it, he realised he was having a great time. He was really, really happy.

“Dinner won’t be long, Sasuke,” Itachi said to him out of the blue, and Sasuke jumped as Itachi appeared next to him suddenly. “And this piece goes here,” he added, taking the puzzle-piece from Sasuke’s hand and positioning it correctly in its rightful place.

“Dinner?” Sasuke murmured, staring up at him through his puzzle-fog, and then squinting at the clock on the wall. It was almost six, the time they ate dinner on days when Itachi worked the night-shift.

“Woah, look at the time!” Naruto exclaimed next to him. “I didn’t realise. Damn, we didn’t finish the puzzle. Can we leave it for next time, Sas?”

“Next time?” Sasuke asked.

“Mm, I better get going,” he went on.

Going. Naruto was going home. _Ah, because it’s dinner time, and he thinks I won’t_ \- “Stay,” Sasuke found himself saying. “Stay for dinner.”

Naruto blinked. “Stay? For dinner?” he squeaked, staring over at him with wide eyes. “ _Dinner_?”

“I’m sure there’s enough. Itachi always cooks too much. Right?” he said, looking at his brother over by the kitchen bench.

Itachi frowned. “There’s enough. If you-”

“Good,” Sasuke said quickly. _Decision made, don’t put too much thought into it. Don’t change your mind now_. “You’ll stay, right?” he added, turning to Naruto.

“Uh, ye- yeah, Sas,” Naruto stammered. “If you want me to…”

“Good,” Sasuke repeated. “Now let’s see how much of this we can get done. I wanna finish all the green leaves, at least,” he ordered, pushing any hint of anxiety aside and just focusing on the puzzle.

Naruto nodded, and they got back to work.

Before too long, Itachi was calling them to the other end of the table where he’d laid out dinner. Standard fare- salad, rice, and beans, with a bit of steak on Itachi’s plate, and more on the plate he’d made for Naruto. Naruto beamed down at it.

“Wow!” he exclaimed. “This looks great!”

“Doesn’t Sai cook for you at home?” Sasuke asked, confused; Naruto seemed genuinely impressed. Sasuke sat in front of his own dinner and picked up his fork, mentally preparing himself for the task ahead.

“Ah, he…he does, which is super nice, but he’s not exactly the greatest, um…well, he tries!” Naruto explained with a bright grin. He must have been hungry, because he started digging into his meal without even looking over at Sasuke with his normal, shit-I’m-eating-in-front-of-him expression.

…good. Yes, very good.

“I’m not the greatest cook either,” Itachi commented, passing Sasuke a glass of water and giving him a subtle, encouraging nod. “We eat fairly simple food.”

“Usually the exact same thing. Not that I’m complaining,” he quickly added, seeing Itachi’s frown.

“It’s really good,” Naruto said, attacking his steak.

“What kinds of food does Sai make?” Itachi asked, and Sasuke recognized it as an attempt to keep Naruto distracted, so that Sasuke could have some space. He took the opportunity, and sat quietly eating small bites of rice and beans steadily while Naruto and his brother talked.

“Oh, he has all these recipe books that he likes to follow. Though most of them are totally old, like from the 90s. And when he doesn’t have the right ingredients, he just adds in whatever he thinks will work, which, you know, doesn’t always _work_.”

“I see,” Itachi said to that.

“But I’m lucky,” Naruto said with a warm smile. “He cooks for _me_. He’s very good to me.”

Itachi nodded, and continued eating his meal. Sasuke had almost finished the small portion that he’d been given, and was starting to relax. “Will you keep living with him, when you’re at university?”

Naruto paused mid-bite and blushed bright red at that. “Uh, uni?? Well, I don’t- I mean, I probably won’t-”

“Sasuke said that you’re on track with your studies,” Itachi went on, paying no attention to the panic his statement had caused in the blonde.

“He did?” Naruto squeaked.

Sasuke put down his fork, and reached for his water. “You _are_ on track,” he said. “You will reach your goal, if you keep working hard like this.”

Naruto’s cheeks reddened further. “Sasuke…”

“Finished?” Itachi said to Sasuke, standing and reaching for his plate. Sasuke nodded, and Itachi took both their plates away. “There’s more salad if you’re still hungry, Naruto. Fruit, as well. Help yourself.”

Naruto shook his head, vigorously. “No, that was great! It was really good! I’m completely full now.” He got to his feet and almost tripped over his chair as he attempted to take his plate to the sink.

Itachi graciously ignored his clumsy stumbling. “I’ll put you on clean-up duty then,” Itachi said, gesturing to the sink. “I’ll be heading to work soon.” He made his way out of the kitchen, resting his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder briefly before he did so.

“I’ll be right back,” Sasuke said to Naruto, standing as well. “Looks like you’ve got some cleaning to do! You don’t mind, right?”

“Right!” Naruto said brightly back. “Leave it to me!”

Sasuke left the kitchen and headed to the bathroom. Once there he took a long moment to just lean against the counter. _Everything’s just fine_ , he told himself, eyes squeezed tightly shut. _That was all fine._ He took a few deep breaths, and then opened his eyes again and stared over at the mirror. He looked a little pale, but otherwise okay. Yes, dinner seemed to go well.

He took his time brushing his teeth and washing his face. Itachi called out to him before he left for work, and heard him chatting with Naruto briefly before he left the apartment. Sasuke was still suspicious about what the two of them would talk about when he wasn’t in the room. But obviously, he had to stop worrying about that: it was a _good_ sign, that they seemed to be getting along.

He took another deep breath, rolled his shoulders, and made his way back to the kitchen. By the looks of things Naruto was pretty much done cleaning up after dinner, and was even wiping down the table.

“Hey,” he called out.

Naruto turned around, and smiled warmly at him. “Hey yourself,” he said, returning his dish-rag to the sink and walking over to him.

“All done?” Sasuke asked.

“Yes,” Naruto confirmed, and then to Sasuke’s surprised, pulled him in for an unexpected and impromptu hug. “All done.”

Sasuke squeaked in surprise at suddenly finding himself in a tight, warm death-grip. “Naruto?”

“Mm?” Naruto murmured, hugging him tighter, arms tight around his waist.

“What’re you doing?” Sasuke said, squirming; he soon realised resistance was futile and relaxed into the hug, reaching his own arms around Naruto’s broad shoulders and leaning into the hollow of his neck.

“That was so nice, Sas,” Naruto said, his voice soft and low. “Thank you…”

Sasuke bit his lip. Well, it was always nice to be appreciated. “…you’re welcome,” he said back. Maybe now Naruto would let him go. “Shall we keep working on the-”

“-just a little longer,” Naruto whispered into his ear, his breath warm and soft yet sending shivers down Sasuke’s spine.

Sasuke sighed, but leaned back against his chest, cuddling into Naruto’s warmth. “If you insist,” he said, suddenly finding that he didn’t mind so much after all. Clutched up against Naruto like this, he could feel the blonde’s rhythmic, steady breathing, and he relished in the feel of Naruto all around him. “…a little longer.”

“Good,” Naruto said, and Sasuke could feel the vibration of his words. He shivered again. “Cold, Sas?”

“No,” he murmured. No, he wasn’t cold; not at all. He was deliciously warm. He leaned up and pressed a kiss to the edge of Naruto’s jaw, and wound his arms around his neck, pulling him down for another quick kiss.

“Hmm,” Naruto purred, nuzzling against his nose.

Naruto’s hands were pressed so nicely against his spine, rubbing up and down his back slowly but with such a perfect, pleasing pressure. How could anyone feel cold like _this_. Sasuke could feel every part of his body, every cell and nerve ending, heating up in response to Naruto’s touch. Sasuke’s skin was tingling. He took a deep breath; Naruto’s scent was intoxicating. It was almost making him dizzy.

Naruto leaned down and nuzzled into the crook of Sasuke’s neck, nipping softly and pressing a wet, sticky kiss to his over-heating skin. Sasuke purred and arched his neck back to give him better access; Naruto took the hint and kissed him again, bit down on him again and sucked at his skin.

It was just right. It was-

-oh, it was _too_ right. Sasuke suddenly jolted and shifted in Naruto’s arms, wriggling furiously until Naruto let him go. He stumbled away, dizzy and disorientated, blinking hard. Shit, what was _that?!_

“Sasuke?” Naruto asked, stepping over to him in concern and reaching out. “What’s wrong?”

“Noth- nothing!” Sasuke stammered, taking another step back and safely out of his reach. “Let’s just- I just really want to finish the puzzle before you leave! Okay?” He stumbled over to the kitchen table and wrenched out a chair, falling into it and breathing hard.

“…okay, Sas,” Naruto said back, coming over to join him. He laid his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder for just a moment, and Sasuke jumped as if Naruto’s touch was burning him.

_No, too hot. That’s too much!_

Naruto joined him at the table, and gave him a somewhat-unsteady smile. “Okay, Sas! We’ll see if we can get it done.” His smile grew steadier.

Sasuke nodded back. “Let’s do it!”

***

Sasuke just couldn’t sleep. He had an early class at uni the next morning so he’d gone to bed before eleven, but now it was past one and he was still tossing and turning. He was too _warm_. It was like his skin had been on fire all night, ever since that kiss with Naruto.

 _It wasn’t even a proper kiss_ , Sasuke scolded himself. _What’re you getting so worked up about?_ Because he was _really_ worked up. Tense. Muscles all tightly coiled.

Sasuke growled under his breath and pushed off his blankets in frustration. Yes, okay- back when he was kissing and hugging Naruto, he’d been getting hard. What was the point of denying it? It hadn’t gone very far and it hadn’t lasted all that long. It had just felt so _nice_ to be wrapped up in Naruto’s arms. And what was wrong with that? Why _shouldn’t_ he feel good?

And if he was getting worked up again _now_ , well, it was just in memory of that feeling; in imagining Naruto with him now, wrapped up with him in bed.

 _….whoa,_ he thought to himself as a sudden bout of dizziness hit him.

These feelings had been building up for weeks, if not _months_ , but ever since the other day on Naruto’s couch….well, things had been different.

 _Just ignore it and go to sleep_ , he told himself. He rolled over onto his stomach and tried to ignore the feelings in his lower half. He growled again. He tossed and turned. He pulled his blankets up again, and then pushed them back away.

_….fine._

He reached out for his phone and texted Naruto. _Are you awake?_

In less than a minute Naruto responded. _Yeah. What’s up?_

What’s up. ….well, indeed. _Call me?_ he typed.

His phone rang and he snatched it up at once. “…hi,” he said sheepishly.

“Everything okay?” came Naruto’s concerned voice over the phone. The warm, familiar sound sent sparks of electricity all the way to Sasuke’s stomach.

He sighed. “Yeah. Just can’t sleep.”

“Ahh. What’s on your mind?”

 _You._ “Oh…nothing, really…”

“Just wanted to chat?”

“…yeah.”

“Hmm.”

Sasuke shivered. “Well, actually, there _was_ something I wanted to talk to you about…”

“Sure. Shoot,” Naruto said, sounding way too energetic and chipper for one in the morning. Sasuke could practically _hear_ his grin over the phone.

“Last week. When we- when I- you know, the…”

“Blow job?”

Sasuke blushed furiously. “Uh. Yeah.”

“The best blow job of my life.”

Sasuke blushed harder. “Naruto! Don’t say things like that!”

“Why not? It’s true.”

It couldn’t be true; Naruto had been with- well, Sasuke wasn’t sure how many people, but he’d certainly been with people more experienced than _Sasuke_. People that probably didn’t throw up afterwards.

He sighed. “Well, anyway. I guess I… I was wondering…”

“You don’t have to do it again, you know,” Naruto said when Sasuke’s words trailed off. “Even though it was _really_ great. And it didn’t seem like you _hated_ it, but you probably didn’t like it all that much either, huh.”

Actually, Sasuke _had_ liked it. A _lot_. He’d never felt more in control; he’d never been more sure about Naruto’s feelings for him, about Naruto’s _need_ for him. To be wanted and needed like that…to see Naruto’s reactions to his touch…it had been incredible. He’d wanted to show Naruto that he cared, and that just because Sasuke wasn’t as experienced as him, didn’t mean he couldn’t take care of him.

But it _had_ been a pretty big deal, especially swallowing by accident. No, his stomach hadn’t liked that at _all_. The whole event had been a big shock to his system. He hadn’t been planning on it; it was entirely an impromptu move. The realisation of what he’d done- that he’d actually been brave enough to do it- had been physically wrenching. A big enough shock that it had upturned his stomach and left him shaky and trembling. He would have to be more careful next time. Go slower, maybe. _Next time, hey. So you want to do it again?_

“…I liked it,” Sasuke admitted. But had it been enough for Naruto? Sure, Naruto _claimed_ that it was all okay, but… “It’s more that…well, isn’t it difficult for you? With things going so slowly between us. I’m sure you’re used to a lot more, um, stuff- like, more regularly…”

Naruto actually _laughed_ over the phone at Sasuke’s words. “Ahh, you’re asking me if I’m suffering because I’m not getting any lately?” he said, sounding beyond amused. Sasuke glared into the darkness of his room. “Because I was out getting laid every night, and now I’m stuck with you?”

“…yeah, kind-off,” Sasuke muttered, feeling both angry and embarrassed. His cheeks were so red at this stage that he was convinced they were going to burn off.

“Sas, last week was really great,” Naruto said, his voice earnest and strong. “I loved it. But if we go back to going slow, does it really matter? I was super surprised that you wanted to do that anyway.”

It wouldn’t have been a surprise if Sasuke had been talking to Naruto about how he felt. About how he’d been feeling more…well, _adventurous_ lately, about how he’d been thinking of trying some things out. But there never seemed to be the right time to have that sort of conversation. And then suddenly the opportunity had come up, they’d been completely alone, and Sasuke had been in the mood. Or, as close to being _in the mood_ that he ever really got.

But despite that all, and despite the changes that Sasuke had felt lately, what if that was as far as it went? What if Sasuke was never in the ‘mood’ to let Naruto do that to _him_? “So, if we didn’t go any further…”

There was a long pause. “How honest do you want me to be, Sas?”

“Brutally honest.”

“Okay. Well, here’s the thing. I’m really, _really_ good in bed.”

“Naruto!” Sasuke squeaked.

“No, listen- it’s _true!_ I’ve got skills. And I can admit it, cause sex is one of the few things I’m good at, okay? So, all of a sudden I’ve got this boyfriend who doesn’t want me in that way. And it’s _strange_. I can’t think about it too much cause I get confused. I mean, if I can’t use my skills, then what else can I offer? I have to come up with all these other things to show you how I feel.”

Sasuke immediately thought of the puzzle he’d brought over tonight. And the orange blanket that was always on Naruto’s couch, always freshly washed and folded and so fluffy. “Naruto…”

“It’s not what I thought it would be like, having a boyfriend. Not that I’d really know. But you show me how you feel in so many other ways too. So in the end…what are we missing out on? Nothing.”

Sasuke bit his lip and blinked back a sudden flurry of heated tears. “It won’t always be like this. I can…I can do things…”

“Yeah, I know you can,” Naruto said with a low laugh. “It’s all up to you, anyway. You know that.”

“Well, but, the thing is…” He stopped. No, he couldn’t say it. It was too embarrassing. “But, maybe one day…sometimes, I think that…”

“…ahh,” Naruto murmured. “Is this about tonight? When we were hugging? Mm, I thought so….”

“You thought what?” Sasuke demanded.

“You were getting hard.”

“ _Naruto!_ ” Sasuke shrieked. “I was _not!_ ”

“You were,” Naruto insisted. “At the time I thought I must have been imagining it. But your reaction- your whole face was red! And this conversation. Yeah, I don’t think I was imagining _anything_.”

“Naruto!” Sasuke whined. “Don’t!”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll stop,” he agreed. “I’m not teasing you Sas, honestly. It’s not embarrassing. I was just surprised.”

“Well, I was too!”

“You looked horrified.”

“I _was!_ ”

“Why? It’s happened before, surely?”

“That’s not the point!”

“So it _has_ happened before? Lately? When you’re with me?”

“When I’m with you, when I’m thinking about you, when I’m _dreaming_ about you-”

“…Sasuke…”

“But it doesn’t matter! I never _stay_ hard, and it doesn’t end in anything, so there’s no point even talking about it!!”

“…mm. Well…”

“So. It doesn’t matter! You wouldn’t understand, anyway…”

“…oh,” Naruto said. “Well, actually, it’s- it’s partly the drugs, isn’t it?”

Sasuke scowled to himself. “…partly,” he admitted.

“In that case, I _do_ know what it’s like. A little. I was on these drugs one time- it was awful, so I stopped taking them, which, you know, didn’t work out so well. But at least my doctor took me seriously then, and got me on a type that doesn’t affect my- well, anyway. It’s not the same, but I understand a bit of what you mean.”

“…you never told me about that.”

“Mm…it wasn’t a nice time. Trying to find the right kind of medication…accepting that I _needed_ to be on the medication in the first place.”

“Yeah. I get it.”

“So, I guess my point is…we’ll just have to see how it all goes. Slowly. Really slowly.”

“…okay,” Sasuke said quietly. “Thanks…”

“Of course. So, do you think you can sleep now? Or should I read to you?”

“Oh, will you?!”

“Of course! Hang on, I’ll get our book!”

Sasuke smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. He settled down in his sheets, feeling infinitely better about life after his conversation with Naruto. He was glad he called; glad they talked. Everything was going to be okay.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...it's kinda hard to explain, the effect that some of these medications can have on your libido. Well, I hope I've done an okay job at it! And I'm sure there's readers out there who've experienced it first-hand, and know exactly what it's like! In any case, Sasuke's issues with sex and intimacy are about a lot more than that, anyway. But it looks like things are progressing. *pats Sasukins on the back*


	20. Chapter 20

Naruto was struggling to keep his eyes open, but it was very, very important that he stay awake. Why? Mm…somehow he couldn’t remember, but…he was just so warm and cuddly, so perfectly content and happy, he could just fall asleep right here, right now. All his limbs were heavy and melting into the blankets, and his mind was in a fluffy, cloudy daze. _Don’t sleep yet_ , said a small voice in his head. _You gotta stay awake. Wait for him to get back._

Wait? Wait for who-

“Naruto?”

- _ahhh._ Naruto’s eyes fluttered open just in time to see Sasuke returning from the bathroom and slipping into bed beside him. He smiled and lifted the blankets, reaching out to loop an arm around Sasuke’s waist and pull him down to the mattress. Sasuke made a small, squeaking sound under his breath but didn’t protest, and was soon nestled under the mountain of blankets, tucked up beside him.

“You were asleep,” Sasuke teased, moulding into Naruto’s side.

“Wasn’t,” Naruto protested, snuggling into Sasuke’s neck and sneaking a hand up his shirt to find the small of his back. Mm, yes, perfect; now his world was complete.

“You’ve had a big day,” Sasuke purred into his ear, wriggling a little as Naruto pressed his palm into his spine.

“Yes,” Naruto agreed. He’d been a good boy. They’d done practice exams all day. Sasuke was a very strict tutor, and so quick to tell him off whenever his concentration was slipping. Oh, but Sasuke was a very _good_ tutor as well, swooping in with a quick kiss between study sessions as a reward for all his hard work. And now Naruto had Sasuke all to himself all night, cuddled up against him, and Sasuke had even ensured that Naruto would get the perfect night’s sleep.

These past few weeks, their make-out sessions had been so intense- and more and more, they had an extra-special ending for Naruto. It was wonderful, and so unexpected, even if Naruto _did_ have to repress his guilt every time. Sometimes he was sure that Sasuke was getting in just the right mood that he’d accept a return favour from Naruto- a hand-job, maybe even a blowjob, really whatever Sasuke wanted Naruto would have been up for- and he was _so_ up for it. He would have done anything.

But Sasuke always pushed him away, gently but insistently; even when Naruto could feel that Sasuke was getting hard, Sasuke always seemed so unhappy and uncomfortable with it that Naruto had quickly learned to ignore it. Naruto felt certain he could please him. He could give as much as he got, if only Sasuke would let him try. And yet he just had to wait; he just had to trust that when Sasuke was ready, he would say so.

The ball was in Sasuke’s court though, and the little niggling bit of guilt in Naruto’s mind would just have to ignored; Naruto wouldn’t push Sasuke to accept something he didn’t really, truly want. And that was just one little thing, really. These past few weeks had been wonderful, and Naruto was happy- really, really happy.

“You’re smiling in your sleep,” Sasuke murmured, his warm voice tickling Naruto’s skin.

“’m not asleep,” Naruto objected, leaning down to press a sticky kiss to Sasuke’s cheek. “And you don’t seem sleepy at all,” he observed, noting that Sasuke was still all tense around him.

“Maybe not,” Sasuke admitted with a sigh, angling his head back so that Naruto could get to his neck.

“Something on your mind?” Naruto said, nipping at his throat.

“…maybe,” Sasuke said to that, sucking in a quick breath when Naruto bit down harder.

 _Guess I’m not going to sleep then_ , Naruto thought to himself, squeezing his eyes shut and nuzzling into Sasuke’s neck for just a brief moment before pulling away. He re-settled himself on his pillows, and gazed down at Sasuke with a smile. “Go on, then, kitten,” he purred.

Sasuke scowled. Oh yes, even in the darkness of his bedroom, Naruto could tell when Sasuke scowled. He didn’t care much for Naruto’s nicknames. “Don’t,” he growled.

Naruto grinned. “Didn’t you say I could have whatever I wanted if I finished all my practice questions?” he argued. “And I did them all. Even the extra-hard ones!”

“You already got what you wanted. And it wasn’t getting to call me kitten.”

“I don’t remember asking for anything! The way I figure, you still owe me a reward.”

“And the way _I_ figure, your moaning and carrying on and begging so much for me to _not stop_ just now definitely counted as you cashing in your reward.”

Naruto pouted. Okay, he had a point there. He sighed. “Fine. No kitten!”

Sasuke nodded against him. “Good.”

“Now, what did you want to say?”

“…ah. Well, I…it’s not important, it can wait.”

“Mm, but I’m awake and ready now,” Naruto said to that, even though he wasn’t quite awake; half of his brain was already off in some happy, dreamy place and his was biting back yawns. Still, Sasuke obviously had something on his mind. “What is it?”

“It’s just that I…I’m thinking about- changing my medication.”

Well, that did it. Naruto jolted awake, eyes snapping open to stare down at Sasuke through the darkness. “Changing your medication?!” he exclaimed. “Sasuke! That’s a really big deal!”

“Yes, yes, I know, shh, can you stop screeching?!” he whined, pulling away from Naruto’s side. “I just said I’m thinking about it, that’s all!”

“But Sasuke! This isn’t about- Sas, it’s not the sex stuff is it?! Because I said it’s not important! You shouldn’t be messing with your meds!”

“I’m not messing with anything!” Sasuke snapped. “I’m just thinking of asking my doctor for a new type, that’s all! People do it all the time.”

“Itachi won’t like it,” Naruto argued.

“I already spoke to him about it and he said it might be okay.”

…Itachi said _what?!_ “What _exactly_ did he say?”

“Look, would you just listen?!” Sasuke growled, pushing up on Naruto’s chest into a sitting position. “Adjusting medications is part of a normal recovery, alright? It’s a _positive_ thing, if you do it carefully! I know you’ve had a bad experience of it. It won’t be like that!”

Naruto bit his lip. ‘Bad’ experience didn’t even begin to cover it, really. That had been one of the worst times of his life. “But Sasuke…”

“And it’s _not_ just the sex stuff, okay? Would you get over yourself? I’m not _that_ desperate to have sex with you!”

Naruto blinked, and took a moment to absorb that. Then he slowly smiled. “Ahhh, I see,” he said, reaching out to snatch Sasuke’s hips. “Not _just_ the sex stuff, huh?” He pulled Sasuke forward and caught him when he stumbled.

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke said, growling again, but accepting a kiss on the nose. “I told Itachi that I’ve been getting healthier all year. It’s _time_. And he agreed with me. I’ve got an appointment next week with my doctor to discuss it.”

“But we’ve got exams next week,” Naruto muttered.

“Yes, and then holidays after that. That’ll be the perfect time to transition onto something new.”

Naruto sighed, and Sasuke settled down on his chest, resting his head on Naruto’s shoulder. Naruto knew that what he’d done all those years ago- when he’d just suddenly stopped taking his daily pill- had been a very bad idea. He’d been physically ill for weeks, not to mention how it had messed up his head for much longer than that. When he’d finally been dragged to a doctor he’d gotten a real lecture, and then had to put up with all the side-effects of adjusting to a new drug. It was awful.

But if Itachi was on board….and he was a doctor, and Sasuke’s personal bodyguard as well, so… “You’ll be careful?” he asked, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Sasuke’s hair.

“Yes,” Sasuke maintained. “It won’t be nice. I’ll probably feel a bit sick. But it’ll be fine.”

“…if you say so,” he murmured.

“I do say so. Now go to sleep.”

Damn, Sasuke really knew how to kill the mood. But then again…at least Sasuke had told him. That had to be a good thing. And…obviously, the doctor would only agree to it if it really _was_ time, and in that case, it was probably a sign that Sasuke really was getting better. And that- that was _very_ good news.

 _I probably didn’t need to flip out on him like that_ , Naruto mused. Sasuke probably hadn’t expected that type of reaction. Well, Naruto would just have to make it up to him by being super supportive and understanding about it all. Yes, he would be a super boyfriend. The most supportive ever!

Feeling cheered by that thought, Naruto slowly fell asleep, thinking of all the things he and Sasuke could do during the holidays.

***

Exams. Enough said, really. No, they weren’t fun, or easy. Yes, Naruto lost a lot of sleep the night before each one, and _yes_ , he might have been a little short and grumpy with Sai and his friends at certain times during the week. Possibly. But he showed up for every exam and finished all of them, and with a lot less dread and feelings of doom than during the last exam week. And when they were all done…ohhh, it felt so damn _good_.

And then he was free! A whole two weeks of no school, no homework, no assignments. No timetable! He could stay up late and play video games, and sleep until noon. He could snuggle with his precious Sasuke on the couch and talk to him on the phone for hours. With no school or uni competing for his attention, Naruto had almost all of Sasuke to himself.

Except…yes, Sasuke had been a little unwell. A little sensitive. A little…temperamental. But it was understandable! Sasuke had spent a week slowly reducing the daily dose of his old medication, and then a week slowly building up to a full dose of his new medication. There were side-effects to both processes, and in the meantime, Sasuke wasn’t getting a regular supply of the things that helped keep him stable and steady. So he wasn’t entirely himself during the holidays…or rather, he _was_ , but it was all the dark sides of Sasuke, amplified. But Naruto was being totally supportive! When Sasuke snapped and told him _hands off_ , Naruto took his hands off. When Sasuke whined about having an upset tummy, Naruto brought him hot-packs and held him gently. When all Sasuke wanted to do was sleep, Naruto read to him and then they curled up together in bed and slept.

But now there were only a few days left before school was back in session, and the worst seemed to be over. Naruto smiled as he bounded up the stairs to Sasuke’s apartment and knocked at the door.

“Hello, Naruto,” said Itachi as he answered the door. “Just in time.”

Naruto nodded. “How is he?” he asked, following Itachi into the apartment and slipping off his shoes.

“Just fine. He’s awake. Reading, I think,” Itachi answered, as he put on his coat and grabbed his work-bag. “I’ve left some plain mashed potato in the fridge for his dinner. See if you can get him to eat some fruit, too.”

“I’ll do my best, boss!” Naruto said, giving him a little salute and then moving away from the door so that Itachi could get though.

“…you do that, then,” Itachi commented. “I’ll see you after work.”

“Have a super fun time!” Naruto called after him with a wave. Then he turned and headed for his boyfriend’s room. “Sa~su~keh~~!” he sang as he went.

Sasuke glared at him as he walked in. “Don’t even ask. I’m _fine_ ,” he growled, before rolling over to face away from the door.

Naruto laughed and bounded over the bed. “Oh, I wouldn’t even _dream_ of asking you how you were!” he said cheerfully.

“Because you already asked Itachi,” Sasuke mumbled without looking at him. “And what did you bring me today?” he added.

“Daisies!” Naruto announced, leaning over Sasuke to reach the vase on the windowsill and carefully adding the three white flowers to the collection. “See? Pretty, right?”

“…very,” Sasuke muttered. With a long-suffering sigh he set aside his book and rolled over again, and reached up to tug Naruto down to the bed. “You’re _late_ ,” he whined, pressing his face into Naruto’s chest and hooking an arm over his waist.

“Ahh, sorry Sas,” Naruto said, petting Sasuke’s hair. “I’m here now though, see?”

“Mm,” was all Sasuke said, locking his arms tighter around him.

“Miss me?” Naruto teased.

“…no,” Sasuke mumbled into Naruto’s chest. Oh yes, he was being a real brat during these two weeks, milking this medication change for all it was worth to get spoiled rotten by Itachi and Naruto. He was just lucky that Naruto didn’t mind- didn’t mind at _all_. “Let’s watch a movie?”

“You’d have to untangle yourself from my shirt if you want to be able to see it,” Naruto pointed out. Sasuke gazed up at him and poked his tongue out. “Ah, yes, that’s my boyfriend, so mature,” he went on, reaching out to tickle his cheek.

Sasuke rolled his eyes but let go of Naruto, and grabbed the TV remote from the windowsill. Itachi had brought the TV in here for him, and Sasuke had attached his hard-drive so they had lots of movies to choose from. Lots to choose from, but Sasuke went right to his favourite.

“Again, Sas?” Naruto commented lightly. This would be the third time they’d watched _The Martian_ this week.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Sasuke cooed, giving him a coy smile. He started the movie and then settled back down by Naruto’s side, head propped on his chest so that he could see the TV.

“Of course not, your majesty,” Naruto said. Well, he didn’t _really_ mind. It was entertaining enough, and watching Sasuke’s face while _he_ watched it was excellent. It made Naruto remember how he’d used to watch Sasuke’s eyes while he read, back before they’d been boyfriends.

They lay curled up together watching the movie in peace. Naruto loved the feel of Sasuke’s steady, rhythmic breathing against him. He stroked his hand down Sasuke’s spine and back up again, and Sasuke melted against him.

Sasuke seemed to like that so much that when Naruto stopped to check his phone, he objected immediately. “Why’d you stop?” Sasuke complained, wriggling around on top of him and angling up to look at him.

“I’m very sorry,” Naruto teased, putting his phone back down. He pulled Sasuke up towards him and gave him a soft kiss.

Sasuke caught him as he went to pull away and kissed him again, sucking down softly on his lower lip. He nudged his nose against Naruto’s and practically purred.

“Ah, is that how it is?” Naruto murmured, circling his arms around Sasuke’s waist and pulling him closer.

“Mm, it is,” Sasuke nodded, going in for another kiss. Soft at first, but so insistent, and quickly deepening.

Naruto slipped his hands under the hem of Sasuke’s shirt, tickling his fingers across Sasuke’s bare skin. “So we’re not pretending to watch the movie anymore?” Naruto commented, pressing his hand into Sasuke’s spine.

“I _was_ watching,” Sasuke objected.

“And now you’re kissing me,” Naruto purred, reaching for the remote and switching off the TV.

“Hey,” Sasuke whined, but he didn’t protest when Naruto pushed aside the remote and nuzzled closer into Sasuke’s side, kissing harder. “ _Hey_ …”

“Aren’t I more interesting than the movie?” Naruto murmured, moving onto Sasuke’s neck. He picked a spot and sucked down hard, drawing a harsh breath from Sasuke.

“Is that what you think?” Sasuke gasped back, pulling away and gazing at him with wicked, sparkling eyes. “Oh, by the way, I had this dream last night…” he went on with a gleam.

“Oh yes?” Naruto commented lightly, going back to the mark he was making on Sasuke’s neck. “Tell me about it.”

“Ah well, we were walking through the forest…”

“We?”

“Mm, myself and the handsome gentleman.”

“Ahh.”

“So tall and strong. So gorgeous. I was all giddy just from walking next to him.”

“I’m sure. Do continue,” Naruto insisted, grinning into Sasuke’s skin.

“We reached a clearing. He pushed me up against a tree and kissed me hard…”

“Oh, how forward of him!”

“Yes, quite. But it was very nice. Just the two of us, kissing against the tree. He was so nice. It was…a _very_ nice dream.”

“I see. Glad to know I perform well in your dreams.”

Sasuke laughed at that and pushed him away. “Oh, it wasn’t _you_ , Naruto! How self-centred can you be?!”

Naruto blinked. “Not _me?!_ Then who the hell was it?” he demanded.

Sasuke laughed again and snuggled back into his side, clamping onto Naruto when he tried to wriggle away. “You know who it was,” he cooed.

“…Matt Damon,” Naruto growled. “That does it! We are _not_ watching that movie anymore! I forbid it!”

“Sure you do,” Sasuke purred, sliding his hands up Naruto’s shirt and running them along his sides.

“Figures you would have the hots for an actor who plays geeks all the time,” Naruto scowled. Yes, he was very angry, but at least at the end of them day- well, it was _Naruto_ here with Sasuke in bed, and not Matt Damon. So perhaps he would forgive Sasuke; or perhaps, he’d make sure that the next time Sasuke had a dream about kissing someone against a tree, it was Naruto there with him.

Naruto growled and attacked Sasuke’s mouth once more, and Sasuke stopped his smirking and responded perfectly, moulding himself to Naruto’s side and kissing him back. He gasped when Naruto bit down on his lip, letting his mouth fall open and giving Naruto more and more access. He took the opportunity, slipping his tongue between Sasuke’s lips and exploring him thoroughly.

Sasuke groaned and pushed up against him, his fingers running through Naruto’s hair, his back arching pleasingly. Naruto’s insides sang to have Sasuke responding to him like this, to have his boyfriend’s attention so fully and perfectly.

By now Sasuke was writhing against him, and Naruto could tell that something was different. But he tried not to react to how heated Sasuke was getting, how eager he was, how he was getting hard. After all, he was used to not drawing attention to it whenever it happened. But this time…what had changed? Sasuke’s hands were tangled in his hair, gripping tight, tugging Naruto against him; his legs were locked around Naruto’s middle. His skin was burning, his breath was hot. All of this had happened before. But had it happened for this _long?_ Usually, Sasuke would have pushed him away long before now.

“Sasuke…” Naruto murmured into Sasuke’s ear. “Sas…”

Sasuke moaned softly against him. “ _Mm_ …”

“Sas, you’re…do you want…”

“Mm, just don’t stop,” Sasuke purred, running his hands down the back of Naruto’s neck and drawing a shiver from him. Sasuke was practically grinding into Naruto’s hip now, writing up and down, a steady, rocking rhythm.

Whether or not it was affecting Sasuke, it was affecting _Naruto_ , but he tried to push all that aside, and focus on his boyfriend. He pulled back for just a moment and tucked his hand under Sasuke’s jaw to angle his face upward; Sasuke’s eyes were hazy and unfocused, and his skin was pink and heated. “Sasuke…”

Sasuke bit his lip and leaned forward to press a light kiss to his cheek. “Naruto, could you…”

Naruto’s stomach flipped over inside of him. Now? Yes? Was it _time?_ He bit back a moan. “Tell me what you want, Sasuke,” he groaned. “Do you-”

“-hands,” Sasuke panted, his cheeks feverishly red. “Hands. Naruto…”

Oh, Naruto was _more_ than happy to oblige. “Of course,” he purred in Sasuke’s ear, nipping on his earlobe and blowing over it. He nuzzled into Sasuke’s cheek as he played with the hem of his shirt. Naruto took his time; he didn’t want to spook him. Slowly, slowly, his hand made its way under Sasuke’s shirt to rest on his hip and then to his stomach.

Sasuke jolted at Naruto’s touch, but moaned when Naruto pressed in. He hid his face in the crook of Naruto’s neck. He was trembling; Naruto hoped it was with excitement and anticipation, and not nerves. 

If he was nervous, would it be better to go fast, or slow? Naruto bit his lip, suddenly uncertain. “Sas?” he murmured. “You okay?”

“Mm,” Sasuke said back, his voice muffled against Naruto’s skin. “Just- keep going…”

“Right,” Naruto said. He wrapped his other arm around Sasuke’s back to re-position him closer, to hold him securely, as he undid the buttons of Sasuke’s jeans and drew down the zip. Sasuke gasped but didn’t object or move away, and Naruto took that as a good sign. Naruto slipped his hand down the front of his pants and found Sasuke harder than he’d ever been before. “Sasuke…”

Sasuke panted and bit down on Naruto’s neck, sucking in his skin. He set up camp there, nipping and sucking as Naruto tightened his grasp and started gently, gently, running his closed hand up and down Sasuke’s cock. “ _Mm_ , Naruto…”

“You feel so good, Sas,” Naruto murmured, and Sasuke bit down on him hard. He brought his hand all the way to the tip of Sasuke’s cock and ran his thumb across the top, back and forth, pressing soft but insistent right into the slit, and smiled to feel the moisture pooling there. …still. “I guess you don’t have any lube,” he said, laughing a bit, thinking that if they were at _his_ house- well, they’d have every kind of lube imaginable to choose from, stashed all over the place!

“Uh, actually,” Sasuke said, sounding breathless and shaky. “I- in the bedside drawer-”

Naruto blinked, and pulled away from Sasuke to roll over and open the drawer. Yes, there it was- and it was even _open_. “Well, well,” he teased, glancing back at Sasuke and giving him a cheeky grin.

Sasuke’s face was so pink by this stage that it was possible to tell if he was embarrassed or not. “Yeah, well, I’ve been trying some…stuff, so…”

Naruto’s grin widened. Oh, had he?! “That’s really hot, Sas,” he said, shifting back to Sasuke’s side and kissing him deeply, taking both sides of his face in his hands, letting the lube drop to the mattress. Sasuke gasped but was soon wrapped around Naruto’s side again, pressing against his hip, grinding against him. Naruto groaned into Sasuke’s heated mouth, loving the feel of Sasuke pressed into him, feeling the proof of his attraction.

Sasuke whimpered and pulled away. “Naruto, go back to- to-”

“To work?” Naruto suggested with a short laugh. “Oh, I will, boss!” he added with relish. He fished the lube out from between them and soon had his hand coated and had returned to Sasuke’s cock, all before Sasuke could react to Naruto’s words.

 _Faster, rather than slower,_ Naruto thought to himself. Sasuke was eager and ready, rubbing up against him, and it was better to take advantage of that than to stretch it out, to take his time like he wanted to do. Hell, he wanted to make this last _hours_ ; to have Sasuke writhing and incoherent under him, all feeling narrowed down to a single set of nerves. But there would be time for that, later. One day. For now, he would give Sasuke what he wanted, and right away.

So he set to work, and very soon discovered that Sasuke moaned hardest with a simple up and down movement rather than twisting, so that’s what he did. Hard and soft, fast and slow, but always up and down, and taking care not to neglect the tip of his cock.

“You like it?” Naruto murmured into Sasuke’s ear, using his other hand to keep the unsteady raven pinned to his side, holding him close.

“ _Yes_ ,” Sasuke groaned, his hands clenched onto Naruto’s shirt and his chest heaving up and down. “Fa-faster,” he stammered. “Naruto…”

Naruto gazed down at him, and found his eyes glazed and unfocused. Sasuke was biting down hard on his lip, hard enough to draw blood. He was _tense_ , so tense in Naruto’s arms. “Yes, sir,” Naruto said back, making his voice low and warm. He leaned down to capture Sasuke’s both with his own, running his tongue along his lower lip gently, and kissing him as he sped up his movements.

Sasuke was panting hard now, and pulling back between kisses to breathe, but always coming back. His hips moved back and forth in time with Naruto’s hand, and he arched his back when Naruto pressed harder. He was so stiff, so hard, and he was trembling. “It _hurts_ ,” he breathed, his voice strained and harsh; “Naruto…”

“You’re so close, Sas,” Naruto breathed back, nudging Sasuke across the mattress until he slipped off Naruto’s chest and onto the mattress, to lie on his back. “There, now,” he added, using his free arm to wrap Sasuke’s legs around his waist. He smiled down at Sasuke, and Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut.

 _He’s anxious._ But if he wanted Naruto to stop, he would say so. Naruto knew he would. So he would keep going, until Sasuke told him to do otherwise. “Does it hurt too much, Sas?” he asked, leaning down to kiss his throat and collarbone.

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke said back at once, still panting. “Keep- keep going-”

Right. Naruto gripped him securely and ran his hand up and down, faster now and faster again when Sasuke moaned and arched up into him. His breath was harsh and unsteady and his hips seemed to move to a rhythm of their own. His skin was heated, his chest was heaving. He was beautiful.

“Sasuke,” Naruto whispered into his ear, “come on, Sas, come for me, Sasuke…”

And Sasuke did, with his legs clenched around Naruto’s waist and his hands holding onto Naruto’s arms hard enough to leave marks; he came with a deep moan and his eyes squeezed shut, his limbs tight and shaking. Naruto held him close and still, lips pressed into the hollow of his throat, and when he tried to move Sasuke gasped and gripped him tighter.

Sasuke gripped him tight for several long, tense moments, but eventually Naruto was released, and Sasuke fell back onto the mattress, his eyes still tightly shut.

Gently Naruto untangled their limps, and ran his hand through Sasuke’s hair and down his cheek until their breathing came under control, and Sasuke seemed to relax. And then he slipped away off the bed and made his way to the bathroom. He splashed cold water onto his face and took a few deep breaths, his mind still spinning from what they’d just done.  But he couldn’t freak out about it now- he had to take care of Sasuke.

He took a damp washcloth back to the bedroom with him, and found Sasuke curled up with his eyes still closed. Falling asleep. Exhausted, clearly. Naruto smiled. Still, he hadn’t finished his task. He sat beside Sasuke and quickly set to work cleaning him up and making him comfortable.

Sasuke whined and tried to pull away. “ _Don’t_ ,” he moaned, his voice heavy and sleepy. “Don’t!”

“I’ll be quick. There, all done!” he said, buttoning Sasuke’s jeans and setting the washcloth aside. “All done,” he repeated. He lay down on the mattress and Sasuke quickly tugged him to his side, resting his head on Naruto’s shoulder.

“’sleepy…” Sasuke murmured, clutching onto Naruto’s shirt.

“Yes, you are,” Naruto agreed. He pulled the blankets over them. “Sleep now, okay?”

“’kay…” Sasuke said with a yawn. But then his eyes flickered open and he stared over at Naruto in horror. “Oh! But, Naruto, I should- aren’t you-” He started to push himself up but Naruto just laughed and pulled him back down.

“No, there’s no need,” he said quickly. “I’m fine. That was all about _you_ , see?”

“But, Naruto-”

“No buts,” Naruto said, placing a finger over Sasuke’s lips. “Sleep,” he insisted.

Sasuke struggled in his arms, but only for a moment, and then his eyes fluttered closed once more. “Later, then,” he murmured.

“Yes, later,” Naruto agreed, patting Sasuke’s back until he was resting comfortably by Naruto’s side. “Later.”

For now, Naruto just wanted Sasuke to rest. And Sasuke _did_ fall asleep, very fast and very soundly. Naruto hoped he would nap for at least an hour. _And what kind of mood will he be in when he wakes up?_ Naruto wondered. How would Sasuke react to what they’d just done? Would he be embarrassed? Pleased? Proud? Was today a huge step forward, or a huge step back?

Well, however Sasuke reacted, he couldn’t change that it had happened. Even if he didn’t want to do it again any time soon. And hey, maybe he _would_ want to do it again- and do it often. _Probably not,_ Naruto told himself with a grin. Oh well.

Naruto lay there next to Sasuke, warm and cosy in the blankets and basking in the setting sun that poured through the windows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been rather conflicted lately, worrying if the recent chapters have been focused too much on things like meds and sex. But to me these things seem important, for our boys building trust between them...still, I hope y'll are still enjoying the story!!
> 
> There's not too many chapters to go! Let me know if there's anything you wanna see or find out about before the end, and I'll see if I can work it in! Thanks everyone, your feedback means so much!!


	21. Christmas Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy so SURPRISE, a Something New update for Christmas! Someone on Tumblr asked for one, and I did my best ^_^.
> 
> I’ve written a little bit about the delays with this fic at the bottom, for anyone interested. I can’t honestly say if/when there will be another update, but I realllllly don’t want to give up on it.
> 
> This is a Christmas chapter, and since most of my fics subconsciously take place in Australia, this means it’s SUMMER, and our boys have just graduated high school (congrats, Naruto <3). It’s been a few months since the last chapter. In my original plans for this fic, this would be about the forth-last chapter, so we’re getting towards the end of the story. Enjoy!

It was very hard to focus on video games; Naruto was too tired to concentrate, and besides, Sasuke was sitting right there on the couch next to him looking all appealing and gorgeous (as usual). For more than ten minutes the same cutscene had played over and over again on the TV, while Naruto’s controller lay abandoned on the coffee table. Naruto sat there, the boss-fight music providing an oddly dramatic background to his sleepy, hazy observations of his boyfriend.

It was late December; almost Christmas. School had ended and they’d both graduated without incident. Even before graduation, Naruto had been spending all his free time at his new job, saving up for- well, for uni maybe, if he got accepted. More likely he’d need that money for something _else_ , when he got rejected.

_You shouldn’t think like that,_ Naruto scolded himself, and the voice sounded a lot like his counsellor. _You worked hard and life’s going great right now, isn’t it?_ Well yeah, it was. Most of the time.

All of Sasuke’s classes had ended as well, but he was still buried in books more often and not. These past few months something had changed in him, and he’d been taking his studies a lot more seriously. This week he’d been working on some kind-of…a math problem, Sasuke had said- a famous one. But what kind of math problem took days to solve? The lounge room was covered in sheets of paper and the only time Sasuke stopped his furious scribbling was to shake out his cramping hand.

Naruto watched Sasuke’s eyes dart across the paper, watched them darken and narrow with frustration, and widen and sparkle with an occasional burst of inspiration. Naruto would never, ever get tired of watching Sasuke’s eyes. Seeing him so fired up and energised by something- well, back when he’d first met Sasuke, only fighting with his brother or Naruto would get him fired up like this, and never in a good way.

Sasuke had changed; it was amazing.

He seemed stuck on something just now, frowning at his paper, hand stilled, biting on the end of his pencil. His cheeks were flushed a light pink, and he stared down at his notes with an intensity that was- ah, it was-

-Naruto shifted uncomfortably on the couch. His eyes scanned down to the indecipherable notes on the page, then back up to the spark in Sasuke’s eyes, and the pencil resting against his lower lip. Sasuke was so smart. And pretty. And-

“Naruto,” came a voice.

Naruto jumped. He shook his head and blinked; the world had gone a bit hazy. He-

“Naruto,” came Sasuke’s voice again. “Are you-”

Naruto cleared his throat. “Am I what, babe?” he asked, with a quick smile as he met Sasuke’s eyes.

Sasuke scowled. “I’m not going to do math in front of you if it turns you on,” he said.

Naruto turned scarlet red and shifted again on the couch. “I’m not!” he cried, indignant, and lying through his teeth. “I-”

“You damn well _are_ , your eyes were doing that- unfocused thing, and you were clenching your fists, and-”

“And?!” Naruto shrieked, embarrassed that Sasuke could read him so clearly.

Sasuke huffed and turned away from him. “And I can’t concentrate with you sitting on the couch next to me like that,” he said. “I’m trying to get through this so that we can-”

Naruto grinned at that. So they could _what_? Looked like Sasuke found it hard to concentrate with his boyfriend around as well. Naruto liked that. He liked that a _lot_. He jumped up from the couch, ruffling Sasuke’s hair as he headed out of the lounge towards the kitchen.

“I’ll give you some space, then. I’ll make dinner. What do you want to eat?” He paused at the door, waiting for Sasuke’s answer.

His boyfriend hesitated, frowning over at him. “I don’t care,” he finally said with a shrug.

“Sasuke,” Naruto said, putting a hint of warning in his voice like he’d seen Itachi doing so many times. “You’ll just get a plate of lettuce if you really _don’t care._ ”

Sasuke sighed. “Mashed potato, then, if you’re cooking it. It’s better than Itachi’s, anyway.”

Naruto nodded, and smiled. “Sure thing, babe.”

“And, can you- um, can you do it with the little tomatoes like that one time?” Sasuke added, turning his face away from Naruto’s, attention back on his math.

“With or without cheese?”

“Without,” Sasuke said without looking up, already back to scribbling away.

Naruto turned and headed to the kitchen, a happy thrill running through him at Sasuke’s instructions- at his requests for food. Naruto had never been much of a cook, but nothing motivated him like seeing Sasuke eat his meals- like having Sasuke request for _Naruto_ to cook, instead of Itachi.

Speak of the devil. The phone on Naruto’s pocket starting ringing with Itachi’s tone just as Naruto finished cutting the potatoes. He fished the phone out of his pocket as he put the potatoes on to cook.

“’sup, bro,” Naruto greeted, feeling energised once more.

A moment on silence, then a brief sigh. “I’ll be working a double shift tonight, so I won’t be home for dinner,” Itachi said, evidently deciding it wasn’t worth responding to Naruto’s choice of greeting.

_Again?_ Naruto thought. Itachi had been working more and more lately, and between that and Naruto’s shifts at the florist, Sasuke was alone more and more. “That busy, huh? Alright, then. I’m just making dinner now.”

“Good. Are you staying over tonight?”

Naruto paused. He started work at 5am tomorrow. But…but Sasuke wanted him to stay, and it’d make Itachi feel better too. “I can, if you want. Sai’s not home anyway.”

Another pause. “Good,” he repeated. “…thank you.”

“So you’ll be home at 7?”

“…no. Mid-morning. I’ve got an errand to run.”

Naruto lowered his voice. “Is it about the, you know, the _gift_?”

“No. That’s all arranged. Do we need any groceries?”

“Just tomatoes, like usual. Your brother is some kind of freak tomato addict, I swear-”

“I am _not_ ,” Sasuke snapped at him, and Naruto whirled around. “Is that my brother?”

Naruto grinned, and held the phone out to him. Sasuke sat at the table, and Naruto turned around to work on his potatoes.

“Naruto drank all the apple juice,” Sasuke complained into his phone. “And he used all my conditioner.”

Naruto chose to ignore that. It wasn’t his fault that Sasuke’s hair smelled so nice, and Naruto just wanted to see if he could achieve the same affect-

“Mm. The green bottle. Yeah. And some more note paper. That’s all. Are you working tomorrow as well?”

Naruto knew that he was; Itachi was even working over Christmas this year. He frowned as he cut up the tomatoes. Sasuke was feeling a lot better these days, but Naruto knew he didn’t like Itachi being away so much. Even if he’d rather lose an arm than admit it.

Maybe Naruto should cut back on his shifts, so he could spend more time with Sasuke. But he needed the money. Christmas was coming up, and-

“Naruto,” Sasuke called from the table. “Why do you have Itachi’s bank account details on your phone?”

Naruto supressed a squeal and rushed over, snatching the phone out of Sasuke’s hands. “Never you mind about that!”

“He’s not _actually_ making you pay rent, is he?”

“That was just a joke!” Naruto quickly said. “Um, I think. Anyway, I’m not gonna let you use my phone if you-”

“The water’s boiling over,” Sasuke interrupted, and Naruto squealed again and ran back to the stove.

Shit, that was close. He shouldn’t have left Itachi’s details open like that. Keeping secrets from Sasuke was hard enough without stupid mistakes like that!

He sighed to himself. This Christmas thing was tough.

***

Naruto yawned and opened his eyes. He’d already been awake this morning, at 4:30am as his internal body clock was now trained to do. _Damn you Ino_ , he cured his friend, who was off in Europe somewhere with her girlfriend- leaving Naruto to help out at her family’s store. He liked the money, and he _really_ liked the distraction from thinking about next year, but 4:30am? It was evil.

But today was Christmas, and that meant at least a small sleep-in, before presents and brunch with Sasuke and Itachi. He smiled sleepily to himself. It would certainly top last year- drinking games and a random hook-up or two, and then being force-fed bread and water and painkillers by Sai after throwing up the contents of his stomach. 

Things really had changed. And next year…next year, he might be a uni student. A flutter of nerves danced around in his stomach. Might be. Maybe. Ugh, the waiting was killing him. He wanted it- that life. That _chance_ , to have something different than how he thought his life would go.

_Let’s not think about all that_.

He stretched and rolled over, reaching his arm out for Sasuke but finding the other side of the bed empty. He blinked and frowned. If Sasuke was on the couch working on those damn math problems again, he’d…damn it! He knew Sasuke was doing this to get into some kind of special class or something, but it was _really_ hard not to take it personally-

“’morning,” came Sasuke’s sleepy voice, as he came out of the bathroom. He yawned as well, stretching his arms over his head, his shirt riding up as he did so. Naruto stared, eyes glazing over, all thoughts of math and uni leaving his mind at once.

Sasuke smirked at that, slipping into bed and reaching over to swat Naruto gently on the head. “It’s too early for that,” he scolded.

“Never too early or late,” Naruto said back, reaching his own arms out to scoop Sasuke closer, pressing a kiss to his throat. “Can’t help it, when you’re wearing my clothes, y’know,” he murmured into Sasuke’s skin.

“These boxers are way too big,” Sasuke complained, wriggling around in Naruto’s arms to get comfortable.

“Don’t care if they fall off,” Naruto said to that, sliding his hands down Sasuke’s back. Sasuke arched into him, letting Naruto nuzzle into his neck.

Last summer, even on the hottest days, he’d never seen Sasuke showing any skin. Now he seemed comfortable enough around Naruto to wear almost anything- when they were at home, anyway. It’d been jarring at first seeing bare arms and legs. _Has so many advantages, though_ , Naruto thought to himself, sighing happily as he ran his fingers down Sasuke’s arms.

“We’ll go shopping at the post-Christmas sales tomorrow,” Naruto suggested. “Get you some new stuff. Oh! Merry Christmas, by the way!” he exclaimed, pushing up on his elbows in a sudden rush of excitement, remembering the Christmas gifts safely hidden away at Sasuke’s apartment.

“Mm,” Sasuke said to that, trying to pull Naruto back down to the bed, tangling his fingers through Naruto’s hair. “These clothes are fine. I’ll put up with them.”

“Oh, will you?” Naruto teased, slipping his hand up Sasuke’s shirt.

“Since they make you so- happy,” Sasuke said, a quick grin flashing over his face, a spark coming into his eyes.

Naruto shivered despite the heat in the room, seeing Sasuke look at him like that. “What time is it? We have to get back to your place by-”

“We have time.”

“Oh, now that _you’re_ interested, we have time?”

“Something like that.”

Naruto sighed and shook his head, but he wasn’t about to complain. He rolled onto his side and Sasuke settled against him, tangling their legs together. Sasuke stretched out and pressed against him, then gave Naruto a slow, lingering kiss that ended in a sharp nip to his bottom lip.

Naruto’s breathing hitched in his throat, and he gripped onto Sasuke’s shirt hard. Sasuke smirked and gave him a knowing look, staring down at Naruto’s fists.

“Stop that,” Naruto breathed, trying to quell the heat in his cheeks. He squirmed under Sasuke’s gaze and moved his hands away from Sasuke’s hips.

“No,” Sasuke said, taking Naruto’s hands and returning them. “Leave them there,” he added, and waited until Naruto relaxed, nodding in approval as Naruto slipped his fingers under the hem of Sasuke’s shirt.

Sasuke still wasn’t into this kind-of stuff, not all that often anyway. But when he _was_ in the mood, he was cheeky, and teasing, and more than willing to tell Naruto _exactly_ what he wanted. It was perfect. And see, now, when Naruto kisses Sasuke’s neck just right, presses into his hips just right, biting into that oh-so-sensitive spot under his left ear- see how Sasuke melts against him? How he _purrs_?

“Naruto,” Sasuke murmured. “Can’t I have a clue, at least?”

“Mm? ‘bout what?” Naruto murmured back.

Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes. “My present. The one you and Itachi have been working on for _weeks_!”

Well, shit. “Uh. Um, there’s no-”

Sasuke sighed again and shifted, pushing Naruto firmly down onto the mattress and seating himself on Naruto’s hips. “ _Naruto_ ,” he warned, leaning down close to his face, dark eyes smouldering. “A clue! Come on…”

A clue. Right. Just a clue, something to please him and that wouldn’t get him murdered by the other Uchiha. “Um. You’ll like it?”

Sasuke sat back and considered that. “The HP 32Sii?” he asked.

Knowing Sasuke these days, that was some kind of complicated calculator. He just laughed, and Sasuke gripped him tighter to stay in place. “Yeah, babe. That. That’s what we got you for Christmas. Okay, kitten, you got your clue, so-”

“I’ll tell you what I got _you_ ,” Sasuke went on, voice lowering, hips shifting. But Naruto wouldn’t be coaxed into spoiling the secret, no, he and Itachi had worked so hard to-

“Stop that,” Naruto whined, at the way Sasuke moved on top of him. “I-”

Sasuke’s eyes widened abruptly and he pushed himself off of Naruto. “That’s it!” he exclaimed, climbing out of bed so fast that the sheets tangled themselves around his legs. He growled and shoved them away, stumbling over to his backpack by the door and reaching in for his notes.

Naruto groaned and fell back onto the pillows. “ _Now_ , Sasuke?!” he whined.

“Shush,” Sasuke hissed at him, falling onto the floor with his notes spread all around him. He’d already lost all interest in Naruto. “I almost had it!”

Naruto sighed and reached for his phone. Math waited for no man. That’s what Sasuke said, at least. Naruto would never get it. Oh well. At least while Sasuke wasn’t looking, he could…

_Show me_ , he texted Itachi. _Sasuke’s back in math land. He won’t see._

He waited, and soon a photo from Itachi arrived, a brief flash of white and black, a flurry of paws and tails, against the darkness of Itachi’s bedroom.

Naruto bit back a laugh. _You let them sleep with you?_

_They were crying all night_ , came Itachi’s reply. _Such a pain. Get over here already._

Easier said than done; Sasuke’s presents might be waiting, but he wasn’t going anywhere until the math let him go. Naruto grinned and texted back and forth with Itachi for a while, and then went off for a shower as he waited for his boyfriend to come back to him.

***

Naruto was torn between sulking over his interrupted morning snuggles with Sasuke, and excitement over the imminent present. He couldn’t wait to see his boyfriend’s face. Sasuke had no idea what he and Itachi had been planning. _Too focused on the math_ , said a surly voice in his head, and bam, Naruto was back to sulking.

He paced around Sasuke’s lounge room, casting quick glances over at Itachi’s closed door, then sending his gaze back to Sasuke sitting on the edge of the couch.

“Would you sit down, already?” Sasuke said. “What’re you so worked up about? I’m sure I’ll like it, whatever it is.”

Naruto sighed and forced himself to sit. “Yeah. I know you will.”

“So? You’re upset about this morning?” A vaguely guilty expression crossed Sasuke’s face- but just a quick one.

Naruto shook his head. “Not upset.”

“What, then?”

“Well, I mean, you’re meant to be some kind of math genius. Why haven’t you solved the damn thing already?”

“I told you. It’s not meant to be solved! It _can’t_ be solved.”

Naruto frowned. Yeah, Sasuke had said that, but- “So what’s the point?!” Why was Sasuke spending so much time- so much of the limited time they had together- on something that couldn’t be solved?

“To show I have the right way of thinking about it. That I belong in that research group. It’s- it’s important.”

“Mm. Yeah, okay, I get it. I mean, I _don’t_ , but…”

“I’ve wasted so much time,” Sasuke muttered under his breath.

“What time?” Naruto asked, concerned at the tone in Sasuke’s voice. What was Sasuke trying to achieve?

“I just- I’m just making up for it. I know it means I’m- neglecting you-”

“You’re not,” Naruto snapped, grabbing Sasuke’s hand and gripping it tight. “Don’t think like that! I _like_ seeing you interested in this stuff.”

Sasuke leaned back heavily against the couch, carefully avoiding Naruto’s eyes. “Yeah, well, it’s the first time I’ve really been interested in any of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… Do you know why I even started classes at uni anyway?”

Well, that was obvious. “Because you’re so smart.” Way too smart for high school.

Sasuke scoffed. “Because I was…bored. Frustrated. …empty. Itachi thought I needed something…else. Anyway, it was a convenient excuse to spend less time at school, so I didn’t mind. But I didn’t really _care_ , though. Now I care. There’s so much to do. It’s…hard to balance.”

Naruto stared at him. Yes, that was it. The change that Naruto had seen, in the past few months. Sasuke _cared_ more. Not just about him, or Itachi, but about school and uni, about Sakura and Ino, about video games and movies. And, okay, more about Naruto as well.

“Sasuke…”

“If I can get into this research group, I’ll be working with the best minds at uni. I _want_ to, Naruto! I’m sick of just coasting along. I can do it.”

“Of course you can. I want you to. I- it makes you happy, I know it does.”

Only now Sasuke met his eyes. “Besides, I need to have something to occupy myself while you and Itachi are at work. You’re both so busy these days.”

Naruto’s heart sank, and he dropped Sasuke’s hand. He knew it. He was working too much. He should have been-

“No, that’s not what I meant, Naruto!” Sasuke quickly went on, snatching his hand again. “I can take care of myself. And why shouldn’t I be working hard as well? I’m just saying, this is a big apartment to be alone in, and- I’ve been telling Itachi all year that we should get a cat, but he-” and then Sasuke stopped, abruptly, and gave Naruto a wide-eyed, shocked expression.

“We didn’t get you a cat,” Naruto quickly said, faltering. “Sasuke!”

Sasuke stood at once, and stormed off towards his brother’s room. “Itachi!” he called out. “Hurry up! Get out here!”

And finally, blessedly, Itachi emerged, cradling a large box in his arms. “Be patient, would you?” he scolded. “Sit down over there.”

Sasuke did so at once, speechless, and stared at the box that Itachi lay down gently in front of him. He reached out to the artfully-tied green and red ribbons. “Naruto,” he called out, pausing his hands and turning back to the couch.

“Open it,” Naruto urged, joining Sasuke on the floor. “Come on!” After all, he’d been waiting for weeks to meet them.

“I can’t,” Sasuke said, struggling to untie the ribbons with shaking hands.

Naruto reached out to undo them, then let Sasuke open the lid. Up popped two tiny black-and-white heads, and Sasuke went speechless.

“Shit, they’re so cute,” Naruto exclaimed, glancing at Itachi. “Good choice, bro. Aww! Look at them, Sasuke!”

Sasuke _was_ looking at them, and they were looking at him, and all three were rigid and unmoving. Then, finally, the larger kitten placed a furry paw on the edge of the box and gave a tiny mewl.

“Oh my god,” Sasuke squeaked, reaching out for the kitten, who was standing and straining to get out of the box now. Sasuke picked her up and held her to his chest, staring at the fluffy thing in wonder. He stroked her ears and down her back, and the kitten instantly started purring.

Naruto melted. “They’re adorable,” he said to Itachi.

“They’re a little shy,” Itachi warned, speaking to Sasuke. “And still settling in. Be gentle-”

“I will be,” Sasuke interrupted, reaching down for the other, smaller kitten. She squirmed a little, trembling, but was happy to be near her sister again. They both nuzzled into Sasuke’s chest, staring up at him and purring. “Do they have names?”

“Not yet,” Itachi said.

“Nothing math related,” Naruto groaned.

Sasuke spared him a quick glance, rolling his eyes.

“ _Or_ Matt Damon related,” Naruto quickly added.

“They’re _mine_ , though,” Sasuke retorted. “Right?” he asked Itachi. “They’re staying?”

“Of course. They’re all yours.”

“Thank you,” Sasuke breathed. He leaned back on the couch, and placed the kittens in his lap. “Thank you,” he repeated, this time directed at Naruto. He stretched out to kiss Naruto on the cheek.

Naruto blushed. “Well, we thought, you’ve always wanted one, and we thought you’d like the company, so!”

“Here,” Sasuke said, handing him the larger kitten.

It was the softest thing Naruto had ever felt. He cradled her gently, petting her fur. He looked over at Sasuke, and saw him smile. It was the first true smile he’d seen on Sasuke’s face in weeks.

He turned his gaze to Itachi, and saw the older Uchiha smiling as well. Naruto felt a strange unknown tension leave his body; a tension he hadn’t known was there.

“I’ve wanted one for so long,” Sasuke murmured, stroking the kitten in his lap gently. “Now I have two.”

“And all the stuff they need,” Naruto said. “We picked out the coolest toys, and bowls, and brushes, all kinds of things!” Shopping with Itachi for kitten toys had been the most fun Naruto had ever had with the slightly scary man.

“Don’t you have a present for Naruto as well?” Itachi prompted.

“I have no idea,” Sasuke said, eyes not leaving the kitten in his lap.

Naruto laughed. “That can wait.” This was all he needed; seeing Sasuke happy. Seeing Sasuke get what he wanted. What other present could be as good as that?

“Merry Christmas, babe,” Naruto said, kissing Sasuke’s cheek.

“Merry Christmas,” Sasuke said back, smiling over at Itachi as well. “The best one ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did Naruto deliberately get Sasuke two female kittens, so that Sasuke couldn’t name them Matt Damon and Mark Watney? The world will never know.
> 
> A quick word on the delays on this fic, and my absence from writing & Tumblr. I still haven’t had the heart to officially discontinue this fic, but it’s been very hard to even think of updating it this year. Apart from work and life being busy, I seem to be going through a sex-adverse phase. It’s very strange; even though I’m ace (surprise, for anyone who didn’t know that), it’s never bothered me to read or write about sex before. Like, seriously never bothered me- I enjoyed it, as strange as that sounds. Until a few months ago, at least, when almost overnight I could barely stand be on Tumblr and even kissing on TV had me scrunching my nose up in disgust. Who knows why? Life is weird, *shrug*. 
> 
> That phase slowly seems to be easing now, but not really enough for me to seriously think of completing this fic. Sex is just too large a part of the story- I’m not capable of/interested in it right now, but I hope to find a way of giving it an ending, anyway.
> 
> Anyway tl;dr: it’s not likely Something New will get the ending that I planned for it, but I still hope to give it some kind of ending…eventually


End file.
